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Hello all,
Looking for some advice / moral support. I've been married 8 years, and have 3 kids.
I play SC2 4 nights a week - Monday through Thursday. I play after the kids go to bed, from 8:30 until about midnight...so about 3-4 hours. On weekends, I don't play at all and devote all my time to the family.
Well my wife is fed up with me playing SC2. She is threatening to divorce me because of this.
My wife drives me crazy...the 8 years feel like forever. I would happily divorce her, but the kids... I am not sure what to do. Should I stop playing SC2? I don't see the problem with playing only 4 nights a week on weeknights....
Anyone else have similar problems? What did you do? Please respond only if in similar situation.
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Go see a marriage counselor. Don't ask for advice from faceless randoms online. Good luck with everything.
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doesnt seem like starcraft is the only problem in your relationship
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I don't get why women won't let guys have a hobby... My ex girlfriend hated when I would play whether it was 30 or 4 hours. She would get bored and blame it on me.. Sorry for having something to do in my free time. It sounds like a tough situation for you since you have kids. Do what you have to do to make sure you do everything you can for them. Good luck.
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Seems like there are deeper issues here because I doubt you would "happily divorce her" over her not wanting you to play SC2. Seems like this is just one of those things that is just adding up to her and you're kind of blaming it on SC2.
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On December 07 2011 02:39 The_Piper42 wrote:
Go see a marriage counselor. Don't ask for advice from faceless randoms online. Good luck with everything.
considering the core demographic here is 20yo college kids with no marriage experience, and respond regularly to girl threads with "fuck that bitch, dump that cunt" and "you just gotta DO IT man!", this is sound advice XD
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Speaking as a married SC2 player, go see a marriage counselor, don't poll an online forum for what you should do about your marriage. A bunch of people on a message board shouldn't be a factor in your decision-making for an 8-year relationship and children.
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A hobby is cool and everything, but 8:30 till 12 every night is way too much time on the pc and not with your wife. Maybe cut it down even more? Just my opinion though, might be completely wrong.
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Stop playing Starcraft 2... marriage is much more important then any game. Also, you have three kids so you really could put better use of that time with them. When she sees your commitment... she would most likely let you play from time to time... either way there is plenty of streams to watch whenever that can allow you to still be involved in the community in some way... or attend some MLG's if they are nearby. I don't mean to sound harsh but divorce over a video game just doesn't make sense... ESP when you have three kids. I am married myself and I have boundaries with this game but if my wife pushed things to that level them I would have to stop playing. We have had minor arguments about it but nothing too serious simply because I maintain the boundaries we set previous.
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I am not in a similar situation as I am not married, nor have kids. I am currently in a committed relationship with a wonderful woman who has a kid. She accepts my StarCraft playing as she can easily distract herself with other things (i.e. TV, her own video games, studying for her masters' degree, etc.). We were easily able to find a balance between our relationship, work, raising her kid, and our individual time with our own activities (StarCraft, other video games, etc.)
However, based on what you've posted, SC2 doesn't seem to be the key issue in your unhealthy marriage. I would highly suggest marriage counseling if you're determined to save your marriage, as there is clearly more to the issue than perhaps you or your wife care to admit.
I wish you luck with whatever decision you make.
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On December 07 2011 02:39 The_Piper42 wrote:
Go see a marriage counselor. Don't ask for advice from faceless randoms online. Good luck with everything.
This, good luck with everything man.
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You should absolutely see a professional, it sounds like there are deep issues in your marriage. I severely doubt SC2 is the root of the apparent rift.
Best of Luck
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On December 07 2011 02:42 FakeLife wrote:
Speaking as a married SC2 player, go see a marriage counselor, don't poll an online forum for what you should do about your marriage. A bunch of people on a message board shouldn't be a factor in your decision-making for an 8-year relationship and children.
This is exactly what I was going to say. Also, obviously if you would "happily divorce her", there are serious problems in your relationship that have nothing to do with SC. Get that figured out.
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A councilor will tell you this most likely:
Ultimatums are never good... bad on your wife.
Too much time away from family... Bad on you.
She/He will most likely just ask you what you want in life, and to compare that with what your wife wants... and how bad you want those things.... If they dont match up, talk about it, and if you cant get them to match up, then GG.
But if spending MORE time with family (not saying you dont) is more important than your sc2 time... Its a simple decision.
The deeper issue will be if quitting sc2 will end up causing you to resent your wife and then possibly end up ruining your marraige... (which your wife should also be warry of and think about)
DISCLAIMER: I'm no shrink... but my wife is and I basically typed what she said.... BUT GO to a councilor.... You simply cannot get proper help online. even from those websites with real councilors.
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You're coming to TL to ask for marriage advice. If this is in any way a real post you have a lot more problems then a marriage.
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this does not make sense to me
if you dont like eachother, i would have expected that she would be pleased you are playing games and staying away from her.
I understand staying together for the kids, but perhaps you can work things out.
Im afraid I am underqualified for any suggestions, but I wish you luck - whatever path you go down
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I'm going to assume this is a troll, if not, you need professional help (marriage and psychiatric, it's just a game maybe try playing 1 hour).
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Wait until the kids are 18 and then divorce her, chances are SC3 should be coming out.
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Come to an agreement with her about how much time a week you will spend on the computer if you can. If not, as I, like others suspect you can't really stand her, carry on through with the divorce. Some times you know that a counselor can't help because you aren't willing to do the work with your spouse to make the relationship successful, and believe me there really are such things as irreconcilable differences, but any way you slice it, your kids witnessing strife in a marriage is a much worse alternative to going through a divorce but being able to see their parents happy, albeit separate.
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EPT
