|
On September 19 2011 13:36 Ancestral wrote:Show nested quote +On September 19 2011 13:32 Brett wrote:On September 19 2011 13:09 Ancestral wrote:On September 19 2011 13:04 Brett wrote:
lol... Way to take some things faaaaaaaar too seriously, overreact and create drama where it wasn't needed. The false bravado you're displaying in this thread is amusing in the context of your reaction to her friend's comment about your sunglasses and your decision to storm out of her house. You were in the shitty mood because of how the night was going. Not because of her or her friend's comment. If you weren't being stupid in circumstances where you allowed your mood to be affected by shit you can't control, you would have laughed at the attempt to insult you, whether it was serious or a joke.
If you want to salvage this, you need to contact her and say something like 'Look, that was fucking stupid, the reactions were childish and I'm over it. Let's talk'.
Then when you talk you tell her in a controlled manner that behaviour X bothers you and you'd appreciate if she'd make an effort to curb it. The comments about her friend are best left alone; you took the bitch friend's bait I'm afraid. Be smarter in the future. You're wrong that I stormed out because of anything sunglass related. Now that that's out of the way, I will definitely only apologize about the friend thing, as has been made clear and therefore you don't need to mention. That was 100% both of our already being in a bad mood. And I said, I didn't leave because of the sunglasses comment, I left because she had the audacity to suggest she should drive me home, which I would never let happen. And I can salvage it, don't think it's that dire. You clearly misunderstood the whole thread or didn't read it. I'm not worried about maintaining the relationship, just doing it in a meaningful and progressive way. But you're right that I could have said nothing about the sunglasses thing. That was the dumb thing that she dumbly overreacted about, and I was not serious about anyway. What? You accuse me of not reading and then post that? My sentence about bravado is telling you that I think it's funny that you've posted all this "I've got swag" shit in this thread, but the bottom line is, you got shitty at her friend because you were being emo about your gig. You got so riled up about the way the night had gone that you let her comments make you storm out of her house in a huff. I mean LOL. You obviously STEWED on her comments while she was in the bathroom and when she came out and said you should go, you bust out before the tears flowed. No guy who's 'got swag' should be doing that.. When I say salvage it, I'm not talking about getting on your knees and apologising to her, begging forgiveness to save the best relationship you've ever had... I'm talking about not letting yourself get so whiney in the future because, basically, somethind didnt go to plan (in this case, your gig). Im talking about telling her it was dumb (it was) and getting on with things after stating your position. If she wont bend to some degree, fuck her off.. there are plenty of others out there. I didn't say anything to her friend. And no one on Earth ever uses the word "swag" seriously. And like I said, I said one sentence about the glasses, and they were not the reason for my dismay. And I wasn't about to cry. You're an idiot. And I didn't whine. Why are you so stupid? Do you get off trolling and being stupid? Nothing constructive said, a gross misinterpretation of the situation, and you must have skipped words when you read the whole thread. I stormed out because she told me she was going to drive me home and I wasn't going to suffer a 10 minute car ride with someone who was basically kicking me out. Don't be so stupid and dense in the future. Jesus Christ. Worthless. You're a chump.
Are you serious right now? Why would you first make a thread asking for advice (totally fine with me nothing wrong with that.) then proceed to if someone gives advice you dislike or bashes on your actions of the night insult them rampantly. Not only does this gain you nothing but some silly ego boost but it discourages anyone else from posting advice which you clearly seek. If someone says something you dislike in your own blog I would think just ignoring it would be more effective.
Ontopic: As for you situation I really don't think you gave us enough information. Sure we know plenty about what caused the problem and even the problem but not a whole lot about where you want to take it. I'll just assume you want to stay with her because that is a pretty safe assumption to make. But other then that it is hard for anyone to give proper advice since nobody knows what you are and what you aren't willing to give up. Sure we know that you "won't be a whiny little bitch" but won't be a dick either? But what does that even mean. If you actually want some good advice you attempt to inform people of what your wants are out of a situation. That way the best, clearest, and most to the point advice can be given =)
|
From my viewpoint (which is derived from your viewpoint, biased or not... I wonder how your girlfriend would have described the night), you made more mistakes than were committed against you. And the way you respond to the people ratting on you, for bashing on their advice that you just happen to disagree with, seems to exemplify why you might think you deserve an apology more than your girlfriend does. Be more open-minded to others' perspectives, both within this blog and with your girlfriend. I'm sure you think you're being open-minded already, that's why I said be more open-minded. Perhaps you need to realize that in a real relationship, that type of mindset will only slow you down, if not put things to a complete halt. But you seem like an intelligent fellow, so perhaps you know exactly what to do deep down and are just waiting for it to cut through your ego.
With that being said... my suggestion: Communication. Be the better person, and hope it reciprocates. You call your girlfriend an intelligent, rational person. I would think then, that proper communication and rationalization should at the very least make her think about things in better light. From my experience, if you can get both parties to rationalize about the facts of the situation, things will sort itself out from there. Hope it works out!
|
I really don't understand why you are planning on not speaking for so long over something so stupid.
I think the worst thing is you really don't care about why she got upset about you saying "yeah I'm leaving cause of my gf" to you it was just a joke and is nothing, in a relationship you care even if you don't get why it is such a big deal.. you care because your partner cares, and you don't want to have massive dramatic arguments over things that can be dealt with if you would just pull your head in and listen to what she is saying and understand why she got upset about it, instead of not caring at all and then throwing in a complaint about her that you dont even care about.
Take a step back for a moment, you were upset about the gig not going well, you felt embarressed infront of her AND HER FRIENDS, because of it. You made her feel like an idiot infront of your friends by saying what you said. It might have been a joke between you and your dj friend but that doesn't always mean everyone gets the joke... kinda like you didnt get the joke her friend made to you...
Just call her, intead of being so childish listen to what she has to say and try to understand her side, tell her your side, understand eachother and yourself and move on.
One day of angry tantrums won't ruin a relationship but 3~4weeks of no speaking has much more of a chance.
My honest advice to you for this relationships and all future ones is stop looking for why you are right and they are wrong, but what you did wrong and understanding how you hurt them. That doesn't mean you ignore why you got upset, but not caring why they are unhappy and not speaking are very good ways to end things.
Oh and I just have to say that dominance or submissiveness is not in any way proportional to how intellectually smart you are
|
Why would you bring up her friends comments about your glasses, if you weren't actually offended by their comments? Then you basically blame your gf infront of her by telling your friend that she wants to leave. You just fucked things up by acting insecure.
As for wearing sunglasses at a club, it depends a lot on the event. Though mostly people wear them to cover their eyes while they're rolling.
|
It's impressive how much some people can blow up tiny things.
My tip:
Visit her. Say "I'm sorry for acting like a douche" and be done with it. It'll be forgotten in a few days anyways and noone cares about who did what anymore.
From the posts i read of you in this thread, you sound like a moping (correct term?) kid sitting in a corner waiting for her to apologize.
Get over yourself and stop bothering with such stupid problems, you are only hurting yourself and in the end, noone is right anyways.
|
Oh boiii, girl blog, let me prepare my pretentious, slim glass of wine. I'll edit in my no doubt amazing advice in just a bit!
edit:
Mmm'kay!
You sound jealous. It's okay, not everyone swags as hard as I do.
u forella son?
ok, dunno if its worth it but kk
well, in Norway we don't have trouble following the "don't do shit at all" route, because we're emotionless lazy rich bastards who fucking love pizza. If my GF went on a rant about how i'm a total asshole and I deserve to die (never happened three times of course) I just go "Good to know" and go back to practice (Starcraft practice, that is). Easier that way.
It's so ez if you know how to not give a shit.
Excuse me, sipping wine
M'kay, onwards. So, what may you do. Well, i've already told you the Norwegian way, but I understand that's not the norm in the US of A.
What is the norm i USA? Do you just buy another large pizza with your credit cards and go spend money?? Ok I should stop before I start sounding racist anyway (too late?).
M'kay, finally, I'll go look up my list of shit and advice that vaguely applies to everything ever:
uuhhh ok here we go... open the text edit document... there
kk, of all the stratagems, to know when to quit is the best. See? Fixes everything.
Also, talk does not cook rice
edit2: Hey faggot, why are you a faggot? You didn't read the thread. Or you chose to ignore it and are a troll.
EXCUSE ME ROFL
|
I was somewhat sympathetic reading through the OP. I thought you acted pretty dumb that night, but I can see where discussion broke down between both parties, even if you made a few dumb calls.
Then I read all of the OP's other posts in here and... LOL. How'd you get her to date you in the first place?
|
It sounds like you (and your girl) are blowing things way out of proportion. I mean, you haven’t spoken with her since the argument and missed a thing that you had been planning for weeks, an event which probably was important to her. She sounds like a keeper and your “disagreement” seems pretty fucking stupid. Yet, instead of calling her you blog about it like a drama queen. Who is the girl in this relationship again? Girls will overreact. Learn to deal with it, don’t imitate their behaviour.
Regarding the sunglasses, I strongly advice you not to wear them. But if you do and people joke about it, make a funny comeback and you might appear as a charming guy, rather than a guy who is 100 % serious about his indoor shades.
|
Someone on LP responded to a similar post to yours.. he said something like, "Be a man, men are supposed to be strong ones in the relationship, not little bitches". Something like that, but your post reminds me of his.
Nut up or shut up.
Also, you come across as an asshat. That's just my opinion of course 
|
Sunglasses indoors is not swag, it's retarded.
Peacocking is all about mastering a beard, but from what I can tell you barely have any pubes.
|
OP is a troll.
Wearing sunglasses indoors is retarded and getting into a fight about this fact is exponentially more retarded.
|
On September 19 2011 21:40 Haemonculus wrote:
I was somewhat sympathetic reading through the OP. I thought you acted pretty dumb that night, but I can see where discussion broke down between both parties, even if you made a few dumb calls.
Then I read all of the OP's other posts in here and... LOL. How'd you get her to date you in the first place?
Actually that is a good question since he blogged about asking advice on this. What gift did you end up giving her? 
|
On September 19 2011 10:46 Rekrul wrote:
Next time some insecure fag mocks your indoor sunglasses wearing, just take them off stare him deeply and intensely in the eyes for a few seconds and ask him very seriously "WHO is the KING?" and then before he can reply say "ME" as you put your sunglasses back on.
Finding girl advice from Rekrul is always like finding a gem <3
|
I have no advice to give, seems like you have it all figured it out already.
On the other hand, I thank you sir for the delicious drama in this thread.
|
OP is a douche.. I think you were in the wrong.
And it didn't help to see you bitch and flame all the people that posted here that agree with my train of thought lololol
|
Although this response might go unnoticed, and I DONT like to be a dick to other TLers but..
I have always found you (from your other blog posts) to be extremely egotistical, vain and self-entitled. Sounds like, despite your great self, you always need a lot of reassurance, whether it be from people blinding siding with you or from your DJing. I mean, you even wrote about how she's good at "pretending" to be interested in your things...maybe she actually is? A relationship that lasts isn't made upon "forced" common ground, it takes genuine interest...
We probably can't help you (and I still don't get how TL blogs can really...), but everything about that night needs to be given context in how they all said it. For instance:
- If the sound sucks, but the crowd doesn't care and nobody is blaming you, just enjoy the night and stop getting pissed at everything. Yea, it may not be how you wanted it to go, but that's life, one bad sounding night at a random sleazy bar doesn't mean anything.
- If all that was said about the sunglasses comment was what you wrote...then grow up and laugh it off, say "yea, I look kind of douchey" and joke around.
- Is she at fault? Of course she sounds like she's somewhat it, but with all your whining, I don't see how/why this relationship should last. You've already managed to screw your teacher, move on.
I also think this is pretty key in understanding your train of thought:
-
If I call her, or apologize, I'll be compromising my integrity and she might be pissy anyway.
...seriously son, you're probably 21? and she's probably 27? This isn't high school, if you feel you were wrong, take the step up and call. If you really don't feel you were wrong then move on. A relationship isn't a competition. Grow. Up.
Lastly, maybe, just maybe, if the majority of people DON'T share your point of view....the problem is ..with you?
|
There were several pages of people offering criticism and advice. This and the last one weren't, they were people flaunting their moral superiority, saying "yeah you fucked up," which I've been quick to acknowledge. Several of you, however, have been very helpful and I appreciate it.
I don't know if mods close blogs but close this one if you can! Thanks.
|
On September 20 2011 01:29 Slaughter wrote:Show nested quote +On September 19 2011 21:40 Haemonculus wrote:
I was somewhat sympathetic reading through the OP. I thought you acted pretty dumb that night, but I can see where discussion broke down between both parties, even if you made a few dumb calls.
Then I read all of the OP's other posts in here and... LOL. How'd you get her to date you in the first place? Actually that is a good question since he blogged about asking advice on this. What gift did you end up giving her?
PM'ed
|
On September 20 2011 03:42 OpticalShot wrote:
I have no advice to give, seems like you have it all figured it out already.
On the other hand, I thank you sir for the delicious drama in this thread.
No probs!
On September 19 2011 21:33 marttorn wrote:Oh boiii, girl blog, let me prepare my pretentious, slim glass of wine. I'll edit in my no doubt amazing advice in just a bit! edit: Mmm'kay! u forella son? ok, dunno if its worth it but kk well, in Norway we don't have trouble following the "don't do shit at all" route, because we're emotionless lazy rich bastards who fucking love pizza. If my GF went on a rant about how i'm a total asshole and I deserve to die (never happened three times of course) I just go "Good to know" and go back to practice (Starcraft practice, that is). Easier that way. It's so ez if you know how to not give a shit. Excuse me, sipping wine M'kay, onwards. So, what may you do. Well, i've already told you the Norwegian way, but I understand that's not the norm in the US of A. What is the norm i USA? Do you just buy another large pizza with your credit cards and go spend money?? Ok I should stop before I start sounding racist anyway (too late?). M'kay, finally, I'll go look up my list of shit and advice that vaguely applies to everything ever: uuhhh ok here we go... open the text edit document... there kk, of all the stratagems, to know when to quit is the best. See? Fixes everything. Also, talk does not cook riceedit2: Show nested quote +Hey faggot, why are you a faggot? You didn't read the thread. Or you chose to ignore it and are a troll. EXCUSE ME ROFL
Haha. And yeah, I was mad. Still am. TL has plenty of pricks. Perhaps I am one, but others need not flaunt that they belong to the same tribe.
On September 19 2011 20:37 TabyLing wrote:
I really don't understand why you are planning on not speaking for so long over something so stupid.
I think the worst thing is you really don't care about why she got upset about you saying "yeah I'm leaving cause of my gf" to you it was just a joke and is nothing, in a relationship you care even if you don't get why it is such a big deal.. you care because your partner cares, and you don't want to have massive dramatic arguments over things that can be dealt with if you would just pull your head in and listen to what she is saying and understand why she got upset about it, instead of not caring at all and then throwing in a complaint about her that you dont even care about.
Take a step back for a moment, you were upset about the gig not going well, you felt embarressed infront of her AND HER FRIENDS, because of it. You made her feel like an idiot infront of your friends by saying what you said. It might have been a joke between you and your dj friend but that doesn't always mean everyone gets the joke... kinda like you didnt get the joke her friend made to you...
Just call her, intead of being so childish listen to what she has to say and try to understand her side, tell her your side, understand eachother and yourself and move on.
One day of angry tantrums won't ruin a relationship but 3~4weeks of no speaking has much more of a chance.
My honest advice to you for this relationships and all future ones is stop looking for why you are right and they are wrong, but what you did wrong and understanding how you hurt them. That doesn't mean you ignore why you got upset, but not caring why they are unhappy and not speaking are very good ways to end things.
Oh and I just have to say that dominance or submissiveness is not in any way proportional to how intellectually smart you are
I'm not looking why she's wrong and I'm right. You failed to comprehend anything I said.
Edit: And yeah please close if you can. Despite the fact that I am loathe to discard something so apparently entertaining to most.
|
Maybe I chose the wrong choice of words...
You have stated here that you don't really care much about why she got upset and that if you call her you are only going to apologise for the friend thing.
Just understand her point of view and let her understand yours, your not caring and saying its not a problem because you understood where it was coming from, and passing off the fact that she cared about it, are where you make it look like you are all about being right and why she is so in the wrong.
Sometimes arguments and relationships aren't about who is the more right one, who gets the last word in, and who can hold out the longest in not speaking to eachother competitions.
Sometimes you have to give a little, let go of your self righteousness and care about something that is obviously a problem.
Care about it and explain your view, understand what the other person is saying and understand how maybe you can change. They might need to change a bit aswell, after all its both of you in the relationship togeather. It's great when you can push eachother to achieve your goals and change to be better people.
Although I would think the biggest thing she is annoyed about is that you really didn't care about how you made her unhappy, and they you further show you don't care by not speaking to her and missing her big event.
I'm not trying to attack you, but you really need to take a step back and look at your attitude, because it really does come off as childish, self involved, and "I'm always right".
Some would argue this isn't the best attitude to have.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
