EPTThe best way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but what about an anorexic man?
People always want more, when they have a small pizza they want a medium, when they have a medium they want a large. Just remember that even though there is someone out there who has more than you, there are also plenty of people who have less than you too.
Life can either be seen as one big adventure or an infinite series of smaller challenges.
In some countries it's okay for 2 grown men to kiss each other on the cheek as a greeting. I don't shake hands with people before asking them if they washed their hands after using the bathroom.
There is no meaning to life, just a bunch of idiots who happened to end up in the same place at the same time trying to survive.
Bear Grylls says I shouldn't try it at home, but most of what he does is in the wild and outdoors anyway. Thankfully I can at least still drink my own piss in the comfort of my own home.
Dora the Explorer was way ahead of her time, she had a talking map. Nowadays we call that a GPS. Obviously a hidden propaganda that illustrates the use of reverse engineering of alien spacecrafts at secret military installations such as Roswell and Area 51.
I once saw Darth Vader dancing inside a black hole. Apparently he loves dark matter.
One time I didn't want to eat my broccoli and my dad told me that kids are starving in Africa. I asked my dad why he couldn't just send the broccoli to Africa but he started talking about NATO, UN, corruption, Darfur and Somalian pirates. To this day I eat my broccoli without saying anything.
Mario had to take Luigi to that ghetto university after he found him lying in bed with Princess Peach.
There is no spoon, But there is a spork.
I once met a nice girl who told me she was independent minded. On our first date I made her pay and had her hold the door for me. I told her if she was going to wear the pants in the relationship we better start as soon as possible. Unfortunately it didn't work out after that.
If I was a Tibetan monk I would wear purple instead of orange, just to stand out.
If you're feeling depressed you should visit the Philippines and just walk the streets. Traffic, way too many cars and bicycles, pedestrians crossing everywhere, but somehow it manages to work. That's the potential of human ingenuity.
I grew up in a time where it was okay for the yellow ranger to be Asian and the black ranger to be African American. It was a time before political correctness.
I stole candy from a baby once. But then it started crying and I felt bad so I returned the candy.
