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[G] Bippzy's Guide to Waking Up

Blogs > Bippzy
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
Bippzy
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States1466 Posts
July 29 2011 04:29 GMT
#1
How to wake up for people who deserve more sleep:

Part One: The Wake Up Process
In this example, I'll assume you have to wake up at 6am.
Alarm 1: 5:45
Alarm 2: 5:50
Alarm 3: 5:55
Alarm 4: 6:00

If you still need more help waking up:
+ Show Spoiler +
Hide the 3rd Alarm under your bed, and the 4th alarm where you need to go, such as the shower.


Advanced Tactics:
+ Show Spoiler +
Have a glass of orange juice waiting at the location your third alarm, or have alarm one take you to the coffee pot.


Part Two: Time Efficiency
Under this example, lets have the 4th alarm be assumed to be in your bathroom, on top of a towel, clearly invoking you to take a shower. You should have your toothbrush ready to brush, and you should of pooped/shaved the day before(make it a habit), so only peeing is necessary. Thus, you go into the shower, peeing and brushing your teeth. Due to the fact that you are brushing your teeth, you will feel obligated to make the shower go faster, because no one likes to brush their teeth for extended periods. This saves large amounts of time.

Advanced Time Efficiency(Must have a decent APM irl for this one)
+ Show Spoiler +
Problem with the guide?! + Show Spoiler +
There are a few problems accompanying this guide. However, they can all be solved.
Problem One: You brush your teeth before you eat!
+ Show Spoiler +
Have Alarm Two have a glass of orange juice, and Alarm Three have a meal ready. I prefer to put Alarm Three(in breakfast form) inside of a drawer with smelling salts on top of it, to guarantee I eat.


Problem Two: While showering, only one hand is free because of teeth brushing.
+ Show Spoiler +
I, a fellow man, have learned to shower with only a bar of soap. Dove Soap. It can be used on your entire body, and the ladies who cuddle with me tell me I smell good.


Problem Three: I can only take fast showers if the water is cold!
+ Show Spoiler +
Find a brick, tape it to the shower wall so that you can't turn it hot. No, I'm not joking.

Problem Four: I don't have more than one alarm!
+ Show Spoiler +
You have to put your alarm in a ridiculously hard to turn off place. Or, a place that you'll feel bad it's there.
Good places include:
1. Inside of a birds cage.
2. Behind a sea of squeaky toys.
3. In your babies crib(yeah, I'm cruel, so is forcing me to wake up)
4. In a place where your neighbors will here it and complain.



As White-Ra would say, Special Tactics:
+ Show Spoiler +
Drying yourself off after a shower takes so much time! This can be rectified by having an unplugged power strip connected to many fans that turn on when powered. When you go into the shower, you just plug in the power strip before hand! Once you get it out, it is useful to have a remarkably absorbent towel and a deodorant ready.

IF, and only IF, you fucked up yourself pretty bad last night and you don't think you'll be able to go through the day productively, EmergenC! This miracle product should be in your cupboard at all times should the situation come up.

Setting your alarms to songs you enjoy very much will (hopefully) have the effect of you not wanting to turn them off.

If you have two pillows, and you often throw one on the floor, put an alarm in the one you throw on the floor.

If you are a neat freak, a good trick is to take a photo out of your picture albums and put it at one of your alarms. You aren't just going to leave it there, are you? This trick works with card collectors also.

If you are married, telling your wife that she has permission to cheat on you for the day if you don't call her before your last alarm is sure to knock you awake.


How This Guide Was Made:
+ Show Spoiler +
I suck at waking up in the morning. However, once I get into the swing of things, I'm fine. These ridiculous antics provide me with some entertainment in the dreary life that is work/school.


****
LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK
Caller
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
Poland8075 Posts
July 29 2011 04:33 GMT
#2
What if we have to wake up at 7am in the morning? Will drinking orange juice or coffee be better than just eating a bowl of cereal? Should we be constantly rushing like everybody is? What if we have to...
Watch me fail at Paradox: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=397564
Bibbit
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada5377 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-29 04:34:35
July 29 2011 04:34 GMT
#3
Heh, pretty sick. That's one hell of a elaborate wake-up strat. Do you have a ton of trouble waking up?

Clarity edit: Trouble waking up if you didnt do all this fancy stuff.
GenesisX
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada4267 Posts
July 29 2011 04:34 GMT
#4
This is one of those blogs where I can't tell if the OP is being serious or joking.
133 221 333 123 111
mizU
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States12125 Posts
July 29 2011 04:34 GMT
#5
Psh. My alarms:
7:20
7:22
7:24
7:26
7:28
7:30
7:32
7:34
7:36
7:38
7:40
7:42

I'm usually up by 7:30.
if happy ever afters did exist <3 @watamizu_
Groople
Profile Joined August 2010
United States24 Posts
July 29 2011 04:36 GMT
#6
This will definitely help me as I'm a chronic non-waker-upper.. thank you
"Just use the winning strategy"
munchmunch
Profile Joined October 2010
Canada789 Posts
July 29 2011 04:36 GMT
#7
Truly you are the master. I have only gone up to three alarms myself... I prefer to make the last alarm an annoying song in another room. Often I will get up at the first alarm just so I can go turn off the last alarm and avoid hearing the song.
munchmunch
Profile Joined October 2010
Canada789 Posts
July 29 2011 04:46 GMT
#8
On July 29 2011 13:34 mizU wrote:
Psh. My alarms:
7:20
7:22
7:24
7:26
7:28
7:30
7:32
7:34
7:36
7:38
7:40
7:42

I'm usually up by 7:30.

Oh god, this reminded me of what used to happen when I had only one alarm. First, I had the alarm beside my bed, but I kept hitting the snooze button. Then I put the alarm at the end of the bed. I learned to throw my body to the end of the bed as soon as the alarm went off, hit the snooze button, and return to a sleeping posture in just a few seconds. So I put the alarm on the other side of the room. As soon as the alarm went off, I would throw myself out of bed, run across the room, hit the snooze button, run back to bed, and fall asleep. I gave up when I apparently did this every 5 minutes for two hours one morning.
Bippzy
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States1466 Posts
July 29 2011 04:46 GMT
#9
On July 29 2011 13:34 Bibbit wrote:
Heh, pretty sick. That's one hell of a elaborate wake-up strat. Do you have a ton of trouble waking up?

Clarity edit: Trouble waking up if you didnt do all this fancy stuff.


I am unable to hang out with my friend before 2PM reliably, ever.

Also, waking up is the biggest waste of time in our lives we have.
LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK
Bippzy
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States1466 Posts
July 29 2011 04:50 GMT
#10
On July 29 2011 13:33 Caller wrote:
What if we have to wake up at 7am in the morning? Will drinking orange juice or coffee be better than just eating a bowl of cereal? Should we be constantly rushing like everybody is? What if we have to...

Times are completely adjustable.

Orange Juice and Coffee are nearly impossible to go to sleep from after drinking. I am unable to. I also eventually added in breakfasts into the third alarm. Its all about legal substance that wakes you up abuse.

Yes, you should be rushing, if you rush, you can sleep longer!
LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK
L_Master
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States8017 Posts
July 29 2011 04:54 GMT
#11
Funny guide, and even more awesome since it sounds like this is part of your actual routine.

I'm lucky not have this problem though. I usually just roll out of the bed into my shoes, and I'm out the door for my morning 5. I will say that I have had my share of those where I was still half asleep 20 minutes into the run though.
EffOrt and Soulkey Hwaiting!
Hikko
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States1126 Posts
July 29 2011 04:55 GMT
#12
When I wake up at more reasonable times I do this, but lately I've had a job where I need to wake up at 4AM. For some reason, for my entire life I just get all the way up with my first alarm if it's before 5AM, so it's nice to just wake up, throw some clothes on, and go vacuum some floors and clean some toilets for some cash.

I have my cell phone set to three different tones of alarms with different button combinations required to turn them off or snooze, so it works like multiple alarms
♥
Raz0r
Profile Joined September 2008
United States287 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-29 05:01:44
July 29 2011 04:57 GMT
#13
The simple guide to waking up is; get a regular sleep pattern and you'll naturally wake up at the same time without needing the alarm. Now for the technicalities such as having strenuous work and needing more sleep, the alarm will only then act as the waking mechanism, if you maintain a regular sleep schedule your body's circadian rhythm knows when to wake up without alarms. This is the healthiest way to wake up
Karliath
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States2214 Posts
July 29 2011 05:09 GMT
#14
Orange juice that has been sitting there all night? Fuck.
obesechicken13
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States10467 Posts
July 29 2011 05:20 GMT
#15
My alarm is in a package for a small electronic. I sometimes lock it up with a lock and key combo and then put the key in the bathroom.

Still... sleep is nice
I think in our modern age technology has evolved to become more addictive. The things that don't give us pleasure aren't used as much. Work was never meant to be fun, but doing it makes us happier in the long run.
Cyclone999
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Canada331 Posts
July 29 2011 05:57 GMT
#16
I like your speshul taktiks :D

I really wish I could do this, except it's summer for me so I'm just gonna sleep in <3
16 year old Masters Terran :D
affinity
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States266 Posts
July 29 2011 06:07 GMT
#17
Drinking a cup or two of water before going to bed helps me get up in the morning (bladders are pretty good at getting people out of bed imo)
SockMonkey
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United Kingdom88 Posts
July 29 2011 06:23 GMT
#18
On July 29 2011 15:07 affinity wrote:
Drinking a cup or two of water before going to bed helps me get up in the morning (bladders are pretty good at getting people out of bed imo)


I've gotten so good at staying in bed I normally just wee myself there and then.

Jokes aside(not really)...I used to joke with my girlfriend I have an alarm clock which I've rigged the alarm into a shocker and hooked the probes up to my tender regions.

She didn't laugh.
The only bottlecaps one should collect are from the beers he drinks.
Snuggles
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States1865 Posts
July 29 2011 12:48 GMT
#19
I have 2 alarms. One on my phone and one on my desktop. The one on my phone is at a high frequency so it hurts my ears the longer it stays on. The one on the desktop is the eye-opener one because I leave my speakers on full blast so that I will wake up no matter what.

Lately I've been sleep walking (???) and turning my off my alarm without even realizing it so what I've done is create an obstacle course of chairs and weights to get in my way or at least make me feel some pain for bumping into them.
OpticalShot
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada6330 Posts
July 29 2011 12:52 GMT
#20
3 alarms:
5:28
5:30
5:32

I usually wake up on the 5:30 one. The 5:32 one is on my cellphone and the ringtone is the most annoying thing ever, so I never want to hear it. Ever. So I wake up to the 5:30 one and manually disable the 5:32 one. I put my cellphone away from the bed so that I can't reach it unless I actually get out of bed and walk a couple steps.
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