EPTbut the way he concisely described came off really stereotypical and repulsive.
Uh, in what way?
[Q&A] Girls/Relationships - Page 12
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DanCeWithDevil
United States87 Posts
Uh, in what way? | ||
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Torte de Lini
Germany38463 Posts
Sorry, I'm an idiot. So my reasoning wouldn't be sufficient for you ): | ||
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DanCeWithDevil
United States87 Posts
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Torte de Lini
Germany38463 Posts
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StorkHwaiting
United States3465 Posts
On August 07 2011 05:37 Torte de Lini wrote: At least I've coiled you with interest about my rationality and length of perceptive opinion. ROFL. We live in the disposable society. Old-school morals have a tough time surviving in this environment. | ||
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Torte de Lini
Germany38463 Posts
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rad301
Canada196 Posts
You had every right to say the things you said after the post I made, so I don't hold anything against you, especially after you showed me that you are man enough to admit that it was a misunderstanding, something which doesn't happen often on forums. I don't mind it when someone has a different opinion to mine, but when they tell me that I'm wrong in a manner like that, it really pisses me off, and that's why I kind of over reacted. Sincerely, thanks for your advice after the fact. It's becoming apparent that a direct approach certainly is the best course of action. If it does hurt her feelings I can at least feel better that I did my best to do otherwise. | ||
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Hassybaby
United Kingdom10823 Posts
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Torte de Lini
Germany38463 Posts
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danmooj1
United States1855 Posts
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Torte de Lini
Germany38463 Posts
The idea of asking her out seems really easy when you're so far away. But as you get closer, you come to realize the ramifications that'll occur if she rejects (i.e breaking your neck). So you end up just giving up halfway and falling on your back. As you are revving up to ask her, repeat something in your head to keep you above the water of doubt and fear and just go. The moment you talk to her, you can't back out and you'll just be forced to ask. | ||
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obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
On August 07 2011 09:43 Torte de Lini wrote: It's similar to backflipping for the first time on a trampoline. When the thought of backflipping comes up, it feels really easy and just one swift motion. But as you go to do it, you lean back hard and just fall at the fear that maybe you'll break your neck or do it poorly, thus hurting yourself. The idea of asking her out seems really easy when you're so far away. But as you get closer, you come to realize the ramifications that'll occur if she rejects (i.e breaking your neck). So you end up just giving up halfway and falling on your back. As you are revving up to ask her, repeat something in your head to keep you above the water of doubt and fear and just go. The moment you talk to her, you can't back out and you'll just be forced to ask. I thought it was more like diving. In which case, diving can be remedied by having a friend show you how it's done. Then in order to not get shown up by your friend, you try what he did. Sometimes my desire to be better than others messes with my fear and feelings of self preservation. "Everyone's watching" "You aren't scared." It gives you a false and brief sense of confidence. Unfortunately, being confident all the time is a large personality change, and there is no quick and easy way to going about those things. edit: So what was my advice again? Oh right. Bring a friend. You're not confident all the time around girls, don't worry, keep trying, you'll get there. | ||
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danmooj1
United States1855 Posts
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Probe1
United States17920 Posts
However outwardly, no. Not at all. I learned a few years back that it's much much better to either be confident in the moment or at least pretend to. | ||
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Primadog
United States4411 Posts
On August 07 2011 18:11 danmooj1 wrote: You guys with more experience dont get nervous at all when approaching girls? I just pretend they're guys. But yes, I still get flustered when playing pretend doesn't work. I don't think you can ever be truly cool with someone special. The chemicals in your brain just won't let you. | ||
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FractalsOnFire
Australia1756 Posts
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danmooj1
United States1855 Posts
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Hassybaby
United Kingdom10823 Posts
On August 07 2011 19:52 danmooj1 wrote: Thanks for the input guys. So tomorrow night Im probably gonna ask her to grab coffee or a drink but im guessing the other guys who hit on her in the past asked her to drink so im trying to be different. My assumption might be completely wrong but its worth a try? The things is im leaving the country in a few weeks so this might be pointless but its one of those things where I feel like I have to get to know her at least a little bit or Im probably gonna regret it, know what I mean? A lot of times I was like screw it since it seems pointless...do you guys think its stupid? Dude, its always worth it. Even if you have to go out of the country in a few weeks, the fact that you actually did it will make you feel better, or you'd have that doubt when you leave. Also, who know, it may develop quite well by then. If it doesn't you said it yourself that you're getting nervous. You'll feel better for at least following though. You gotta ladder to get better, right? | ||
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OpticalShot
Canada6330 Posts
On August 07 2011 19:52 danmooj1 wrote: Thanks for the input guys. So tomorrow night Im probably gonna ask her to grab coffee or a drink but im guessing the other guys who hit on her in the past asked her to drink so im trying to be different. My assumption might be completely wrong but its worth a try? The things is im leaving the country in a few weeks so this might be pointless but its one of those things where I feel like I have to get to know her at least a little bit or Im probably gonna regret it, know what I mean? A lot of times I was like screw it since it seems pointless...do you guys think its stupid? Yeah just go ahead and ask her out anyway, better get that off your chest. Also, if you want a little bit of extra "push" to overcome the nervousness, get yourself a drink from her (so you're talking to her already anyway), down it quickly, and then ask her out while ordering a second drink. | ||
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Fortis
Estonia63 Posts
On August 07 2011 23:17 OpticalShot wrote: Yeah just go ahead and ask her out anyway, better get that off your chest. Also, if you want a little bit of extra "push" to overcome the nervousness, get yourself a drink from her (so you're talking to her already anyway), down it quickly, and then ask her out while ordering a second drink. If I was a bartender, I wouldn't take anything a person says after consuming alcohol seriously, simply due to the overwhelming majority of my interactions with people who drink and their mannerisms. Especially as a female bartender. Don't order alcohol, talk to her sober, and if she's busy then don't bother her until there are fewer people at the bar. Being nervous shouldn't physically stop you from what you have to do, you just have to get over it. There is no trick to this. Man up. | ||
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