EPTGood luck to both you and Stork.
[Q&A] Girls/Relationships - Page 11
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Torte de Lini
Germany38463 Posts
Good luck to both you and Stork. | ||
Rekrul
Korea (South)17174 Posts
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Torte de Lini
Germany38463 Posts
On August 07 2011 02:13 Rekrul wrote: You're both retards The real question is... Which one of us would get laid the fastest. THAT'S THE ULTIMATE SOCIAL GOAL IN LIFE! | ||
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StorkHwaiting
United States3465 Posts
On August 07 2011 02:15 Torte de Lini wrote: The real question is... Which one of us would get laid the fastest. THAT'S THE ULTIMATE SOCIAL GOAL IN LIFE! Wrong. Laid the best, fastest, without paying. At which point Rek would be out of the running  | ||
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Torte de Lini
Germany38463 Posts
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StorkHwaiting
United States3465 Posts
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Rekrul
Korea (South)17174 Posts
On August 07 2011 02:56 StorkHwaiting wrote: Wrong. Laid the best, fastest, without paying. At which point Rek would be out of the running some of us aren't cool enough to have girls throwing themselves at us because we own a restaurant  | ||
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StorkHwaiting
United States3465 Posts
On August 07 2011 03:12 Rekrul wrote: some of us aren't cool enough to have girls throwing themselves at us because we own a restaurant I'd much rather sit at poker tables and have people throw money at me . But thus is life. | ||
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DanCeWithDevil
United States87 Posts
On August 07 2011 02:56 StorkHwaiting wrote: Wrong. Laid the best, fastest, without paying. At which point Rek would be out of the running So who, in your opinion, is doing the act of "paying for it" more? 1. The man who walks into a whorehouse and pays 50$ for a quickie. or 2. The average looking joe who goes to a night club and spends 5000$ on a "baller" VIP room/alcohol and certainly gets laid because of this fact. | ||
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StorkHwaiting
United States3465 Posts
On August 07 2011 03:31 DanCeWithDevil wrote: So who, in your opinion, is doing the act of "paying for it" more? 1. The man who walks into a whorehouse and pays 50$ for a quickie. or 2. The average looking joe who goes to a night club and spends 5000$ on a "baller" VIP room/alcohol and certainly gets laid because of this fact. Lol you don't have to defend your livelihood Dance XD. But honestly, you can find girls outside of whorehouses and nightclubs. I swear. | ||
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DanCeWithDevil
United States87 Posts
On August 07 2011 03:39 StorkHwaiting wrote: Lol you don't have to defend your livelihood Dance XD. But honestly, you can find girls outside of whorehouses and nightclubs. I swear. or 3. The girl who you meet at the library that ordinarily wouldn't fuck on the first date but your 50,000$ watch, your Aston Martin, and that 2000$ bottle of wine just got her all turned on. ? | ||
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rad301
Canada196 Posts
It's without a doubt that the main reason I even went to the party was to meet girls and whether it be now or after many dates have sex. This is a perfectly reasonable occurrence and something which is the norm in my community, not twisted social conventions. The paragraph you began with "Bzzt, wrong." is particularly condescending. You obviously have your views on why you go to a party, but to pass them off as gospel and speak in absolutes isn't justified. As it was more of a singles party, a large number of people likely had sex on their mind. I can deduce this not by assumption, but rather because eight single people in a party of 20 ended up making out, and I believe some of them even had sex. I'm not counting myself in either situation. I used "the scale" for two reasons. It gives people an idea of where I'm coming from, and I don't have to say she was "unnattractive" or "ugly", which in my opinion is better. As is intended by nature, we have our own gauges of what a probable "mate" may be, and I have every right not to be further interested. At the risk of speaking in *absolutes*, I think just about everyone who uses the objectification standing is liable to be a blatant hypocrite when placed in a similar situation. For all I know, she's a horrible person on the inside as well. I don't know because I was too drunk to consider it. I was unaware at the time that the party would be held in someone's backyard on a Canadian mosquito filled summer night. Is that a good enough excuse or am I just being superficial in my decision to not have sex behind a bush? You say that I can't do better because my values are twisted? And you somehow deduced this from a point form post on a forum? Then you tell me that the reason I haven't gotten laid is once again based upon my views. I'm holding back the temptation to start this sentence in your fashion. The reason why I haven't gotten laid is because I've never much liked the idea with having sex with a stranger, and up until now I've been to much of a pussy to ask any girls out. I got rid of these notions because I eventually realized the implied difference between "making love" and "having sex". This is my current view, and I certainly don't care to hear your qualms with this one as well. I don't appreciate anyone trying to act like they are infinitely knowledgeable in any area of life. What you have learned through your experience apparently works for you, but YOU have to consider the possibility that it's wrong. I don't intend on using your method of solving the situation with her, and if you had stifled your urge to be arrogant and rude, you would've realized that. You also drew that conclusion from either a lack of information or your own opinion, or a combination of both, so it's irrelevant to me. My primary concern with writing my question was to find out how I can avoid making someone feel bad, but in your own sage wisdom you've apparently deduced that shitting on my values, views, and ideas is far more important than not hurting someone's feelings. I wasn't getting teased by anyone but myself. This is because I have chosen my friends very carefully, and I do my best to treat them in the same light. I wanted to get laid not from peer pressure, nor from your unobjective opinion of my values, and certainly not because it was a huge weight on my shoulders. I wanted to get laid on the basis of enjoyment and experience, because all of the people in my group have had sex around this age, and through all their superficial, twisted, poor, terrible, etc. views on sex, it hasn't been a big fucking deal for them. I made a mistake, which once again despite your ignorant opinion is not too much for me to handle. As a matter of fact, because I'm driven by the good intention of avoiding making someone's day very shitty. I've gone through a lot to fix this situation, and arrived at a good compromise outside of the forum. Here is my advice to you. When helping others, which I think was your intention in writing that, try not to go out of your way to use negative adjectives in excess, as it only serves to make people less likely to listen to you, and it makes you sound like a real bag of dicks, if not to the person you are helping, but others viewing things from an objective perspective. Now back to the question. I asked one of my friends what the best way to break it to her would be, and she gave me the idea of saying that "I'm already involved with someone." I think this is the best course of action, since considering my mental state something along those lines was quite possible. Thank you to the people who actually tried to help me out. | ||
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DanCeWithDevil
United States87 Posts
On August 06 2011 16:06 rad301 wrote: I need some advice fair and wise TL. Here's my dilemma in point form: -I get tired of being the only person in my group whose a virgin (believe it or not I'm 17) -I go to a party with new people, in hopes of attaining "sexings" from a nice young lady -Party is lame at first, but I level up and discover that with a few drinks I can out party everyone there -I get close to a number of girls, but in my drunken stuper end up with one of the not so attractive ones. She wasn't ugly, but she wasn't that good looking either. A real 5 on the scale. I had serious beer goggles on so it wasn't a big deal at the time -We make out a bit and her friends keep trying to goad us into engaging in the sexings with each other, but despite being completely tanked, I think better of it. I don't want my first time to be in someone's fucking back yard -We cuddle and talk for the rest of the party, and avoid having the sexings thankfully. -I walk across Greater Victoria to home, stopping at a Tim Hortons along the way. -I get home, have sleep. -I wake up, and her friend facebooks me that I forgot my ipod player at the party, but she can bring it to me. -Said friend gives me my ipod back which makes me happy, but the I find out that said girl I cuddled and made out with a bit was really happy and excited about that occurring, and wants to "hang out" some time soon, probably for the sexings. -I really don't want to get involved with her further, but at the same time I don't want to hurt her feelings. I know it sounds superficial, but I can do a lot better, and to be honest if a girl puts out like that after like 30 minutes of flirting I don't want the sexings with her anyway. How do I let a girl know that I'm not interested without hurting her feelings? I really don't want to have to do the whole "Look, I was really drunk that night..." talk. Thanks. I've been in your exact same situation. I had beer-goggles on and took a girl who was definitely below par home. I managed to stop myself from having sex with her and just slept and she slept over. Upon waking up she tried to fuck me again and I denied her telling her that I'm tired and she needs to leave because I want to sleep in peace. She asked if she could borrow one of my hoodies because it was kinda cold out and I said sure no problem (it was a bit cold but obviously a girl tactic to see you again.) She had my number from during that night and was texting me the next day and I ignored her. She then texted again saying "Hey I have your sweatshirt I can drop by and give it back to you!" I did what any decent man would do, I replied. "Keep the sweatshirt, it only cost me 10$" She stopped contacting me. Honest real advice: there is no easy way to do it. Though, men generally take two approaches, both of which are wrong: 1. The most common one, is to maintain contact and be 'cordial' and say stuff like "Oh hey how's it going no sorry I'm really busy lately," dodging the girl in a pussy-foot manner but still giving them some sort of hope. This is what guys do because they don't want to "hurt the girls feelings," but in reality they are doing the girl no favor. They are only giving the girl false hope and wasting her time. 2. Basically telling the girl to fuck off, in a mean and arrogant way. This is obviously not nice and incorrect. Kinda like what I did in that story, and honestly I feel option 2. is more nice than option 1. What you should do is ignore her or give very short subtle messages giving her no rope at all. If she keeps trying to contact you you need to be very direct and say you're not interested. Don't say anything like 'sorry' or 'no offense' because it will only further hurt her feelings. Edit: and ROFL at your post right above this one responding to Torte. Why waste so many words on a guy who's view of the world is obviously contorted? That's another thing you'll learn with age buddy...how to identify and ignore idiots Oh yeah, and the hotter friend of sweat-shirt girl recently contacted me months later saying she has the sweatshirt and will give it to me if I want. Lmao. | ||
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StorkHwaiting
United States3465 Posts
On August 07 2011 03:46 DanCeWithDevil wrote: or 3. The girl who you meet at the library that ordinarily wouldn't fuck on the first date but your 50,000$ watch, your Aston Martin, and that 2000$ bottle of wine just got her all turned on. ? You're not winning if you're paying my friend. | ||
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DanCeWithDevil
United States87 Posts
On August 07 2011 04:59 StorkHwaiting wrote: You're not winning if you're paying my friend. You don't get my point at all. | ||
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Torte de Lini
Germany38463 Posts
ve been in your exact same situation. I had beer-goggles on and took a girl who was definitely below par home. I managed to stop myself from having sex with her and just slept and she slept over. Upon waking up she tried to fuck me again and I denied her telling her that I'm tired and she needs to leave because I want to sleep in peace. She asked if she could borrow one of my hoodies because it was kinda cold out and I said sure no problem (it was a bit cold but obviously a girl tactic to see you again.) She had my number from during that night and was texting me the next day and I ignored her. She then texted again saying "Hey I have your sweatshirt I can drop by and give it back to you!" I did what any decent man would do, I replied. "Keep the sweatshirt, it only cost me 10$" She stopped contacting me. Sounds like a reverse George Costanza move (see spoiler). + Show Spoiler + and I'm sorry if I don't agree with your views or values and I'm somehow an idiot because I didn't resolve your dilemma that just involves the obvious: confrontation. If you need a premise on how to confront her, then it should be even more evident that the more sympathetic and mindful you are of her feelings, despite what you let on, the easier it'll be on her and you to eventually break off whatever miscommunication there is. How do you do that? Selective wording, being straight-forward and not insinuating ideas that were originally implied last night. The pressure will be less intense because her friends won't be there and you're not drunk, so you'll sound competent. So right now, you have the advantages. Just get it over with. That's to solve the issue, for your problem; I've already made my statement and you disagree. There's not much more I can do but hope time will tell what works best for you (if you think what I'm saying is based on personal experience, then I can't convince you otherwise even if knowing the actuality of [at least some things). That's really it. Best of luck | ||
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StorkHwaiting
United States3465 Posts
I think I do. But just in case I'm wrong, would you care to elaborate? All you've done so far is talk about how money impresses women. | ||
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Torte de Lini
Germany38463 Posts
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StorkHwaiting
United States3465 Posts
On August 07 2011 05:23 Torte de Lini wrote: Shall I unscroll my banter of values and superficiality?? Haha torte. Tbh, if we sat down and hashed it out, I've got a good feeling we would have a very similar moral system. I just don't agree with telling others they should abide by it too. I'm also a realist about what the prevalent moral system is in American culture. I, myself, don't adhere to it. It's rather tragic to watch, though. | ||
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Torte de Lini
Germany38463 Posts
I wrote what I wrtoe at like 4 in the morning, so maybe things were unclear. I also wanted to make a blog about the things I wish my fridge would do, so... University man, it makes you think you're smart shit when you're just saying things that you learn as a child. Mixed with my psychology of sexuality and relationships, sociology of media and perpetuation of sexual, materialistic superficial values, a book I'm reading about the rate of narcissism and the paper I'm writing about the health and westernized view of orgasm, I'm overwhelmed or chocked full of these "correct" views. I hope my second form of a solution works a bit better. His problem, ultimately, is relatively simple and just involves some manning up. I guess I'm an old-schlooer in the end. | ||
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