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The Eye Doctor

Blogs > Whole
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Whole
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States6046 Posts
July 06 2011 04:10 GMT
#1
I had a pretty interesting experience with the eye doctor today. I just hope my writing ability will make the blog interesting. Anyway, you guys will need some background on why what the doctor said was so funny.

So my mom is pretty retarded...with contact lenses at least. She doesn't take contacts out every night, and keeps them in for months at a time. She made a month's supply of contacts last 2 years. Well those 2 years were up, and so she scheduled an eye appointment. The doctor gives her a prescription and she orders some new contacts. Apparently the employee ordered the wrong ones.

For about 3 weeks, my mom has been going to the eye doctor on many occasions trying to get the right contacts. Although she blames everything on the workers and doctor, I'm sure all of the confusions are a result of miscommunications, accidents, and stuff from both my mom's side and the doctor's side.

Today, she scheduled an appointment with a different doctor (at the same place though) to clear some confusion I guess. Well I tag along because I need some new glasses anyway. My mom gets called first. When I'm doing some random preliminary tests with an assistant, I overhear my mom in the doctor talking. My mom is complaining about the contact's price. And I'm sure that was somewhere in the middle of a conversation about her talking about wearing contacts for months at a time. And she was probably complaining about getting the wrong prescriptions for about 3 weeks.

My mom gets out of the doctor's room/office/whatever you want to call it, and I get called. I walk in and the doctor leaves the room for a little while. This doctor has a white skullet, but not a creepy looking one. He actually looked kind of jolly.

[image loading]
Imagine my doctor being this guy, but at least ten times fatter.


Well he returns to his room, and as he is walking to his chair he tells me in a firm, but satirical way,

I am here to give you the wrong prescription. The whole reason this place exists is to give you a bad prescription.


As he was saying it I was stunned. What a fucking insane way to start off a session with a patient. But then I remembered the recent history of my mom, and I asked, "Have you been talking to my mom?" We both start laughing.

As the doctor is giving me tests, he keeps talking shit about my mom. It makes me feel a little sad, but my mom probably gave them hell, so it is kind of warranted at the same time. He says how she was insisting that she would wear the contacts overnight and how it was "a battle of wills." After some short vision test, he says,

I wish every patient was like you. Simple and nearsighted. I hate dealing with astigmatisms. If patients like you would be here all day, I'd be in business!


Well it is all done, and I walk out the office laughing my ass off. I choose my glasses and go to work. I hope this blog was at least mildly interesting, but the blog section is all about writing shit no one cares about.

****
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24701 Posts
July 06 2011 04:14 GMT
#2
Haha.... I hate when people won't take the advice of professionals... this usually ends up in them paying a somewhat hefty "price".
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
skyR
Profile Joined July 2009
Canada13817 Posts
July 06 2011 04:20 GMT
#3
Being able to make two months supply worth of disposable contacts last for two years is pretty scary...
Probulous
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Australia3894 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-06 04:21:11
July 06 2011 04:20 GMT
#4
That is a huge forehead!

As for ^^. People who don't listen to experts amaze me. Optometry takes years of training and there is the contant threat of litigation and still people think that they know better. Oh well at least the new guy sounds like fun.

Edit: grammar
"Dude has some really interesting midgame switches that I wouldn't have expected. "I violated your house" into "HIHO THE DAIRY OH!" really threw me. You don't usually expect children's poetry harass as a follow up " - AmericanUmlaut
shinosai
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States1577 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-06 04:29:53
July 06 2011 04:23 GMT
#5
I've never known anyone to wear contacts while sleeping at night, but I have known some people who wear the same ones everyday for long periods of time. It saves money, I guess.

Funny blog anyways.

If I'm reading this right, she turned two months worth of contacts that are supposed to be disposed of daily last 2 years? That's just retarded and asking for infections...
Be versatile, know when to retreat, and carry a big gun.
Zidane
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States1686 Posts
July 06 2011 04:28 GMT
#6
I can stretch a box of contacts pretty far, but probably not 2 years.

Maybe a one month supply to about 2 months or maybe 3 if i'm not getting allergies.
Enervate
Profile Joined August 2010
United States1769 Posts
July 06 2011 04:29 GMT
#7
Wow I would imagine not disposing of your contacts would be really bad for your eyes and you would feel discomfort after a few weeks.

Also, am I the only person who has trouble on eye tests? They ask, "Which is clearer? One or two?", and I can never really tell for sure.
shinosai
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States1577 Posts
July 06 2011 04:30 GMT
#8
On July 06 2011 13:29 Enervate wrote:
Wow I would imagine not disposing of your contacts would be really bad for your eyes and you would feel discomfort after a few weeks.

Also, am I the only person who has trouble on eye tests? They ask, "Which is clearer? One or two?", and I can never really tell for sure.


You're not the only one. I definitely feel the same way. It's probably because the difference is too small to be discernible.
Be versatile, know when to retreat, and carry a big gun.
Legatus Lanius
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
2135 Posts
July 06 2011 05:06 GMT
#9
haha 5/5

your eye doc sounds awesome and i loved the digs about the girl blogs rofl
"He's the Triple H of Brood War." - Ribbon on Flash | "He's more like the John Cena of Brood War." - Aus)MaCrO on Flash
Kyuukyuu
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Canada6263 Posts
July 06 2011 05:08 GMT
#10
Passing out Going to sleep with contacts on is the worst thing ever, that's some iron will there to go that far just to annoy somebody who won't care.

I can stretch 1-month contacts to two months but lol
Djzapz
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada10681 Posts
July 06 2011 05:50 GMT
#11
Man I love my 20/20.
"My incompetence with power tools had been increasing exponentially over the course of 20 years spent inhaling experimental oven cleaners"
sTsCompleted
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States380 Posts
July 06 2011 06:22 GMT
#12
ahahah 5/5 would read again
Yung
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States727 Posts
July 06 2011 07:07 GMT
#13
Im going soon to get more contacts, and i know someone that has had the same pair of disposible contacts for like 3 or 4 years now.
ReketSomething
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States6012 Posts
July 06 2011 07:09 GMT
#14
I have 3 sisters who are eye doctors.

Not that it matters but shit like this happen all the time T__T (i help them out)

its amusing really

nice read
Jaedong :3
exalted
Profile Blog Joined March 2004
United States3612 Posts
July 06 2011 07:12 GMT
#15
You REALLY shouldn't be wearing contacts when sleeping. Not sure if I'm reading this correctly but if that's happening you need to intervene. Otherwise both you and your Mom are idiots.

Also, if you're going to use them repeatedly for extended periods of time, you should at least get the ones you wear for a month, as dailies are horrible quality. I got an eye infection from wearing a shitty daily-use brand.

It's so fucking stupid to try to skimp costs on things that are so vital to your health (i.e. your eyes). Not to be offensive but it seems like your Mom is a real bucket-case. Often people can't see it because well, it's their Mom.
too easy
exalted
Profile Blog Joined March 2004
United States3612 Posts
July 06 2011 07:14 GMT
#16
But to clarify, if your Mom is getting the reusable, dispose once a month/longer pair, taking them off at night, and using them for months, then yes, whatever.
too easy
Whole
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States6046 Posts
July 06 2011 07:36 GMT
#17
On July 06 2011 16:14 exalted wrote:
But to clarify, if your Mom is getting the reusable, dispose once a month/longer pair, taking them off at night, and using them for months, then yes, whatever.

no she isn't taking them off at night. also, i think she had two pairs of contacts in her eyes at once lol
LaSt)ChAnCe
Profile Blog Joined June 2005
United States2179 Posts
July 06 2011 07:47 GMT
#18
On July 06 2011 16:09 ReketSomething wrote:
I have 3 sisters who are eye doctors.

*drumroll*
i bet they are easy on the eyes
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