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On March 25 2011 08:14 Myrkul wrote:
You can't solve your problem because you don't undrestand what your problem is. Saying that you want to be perfect because you're a perfectionist is not an explanation, it's simply describing the state of affairs. The key is in why you are a perfectionist. A most basic human need is to feel socially accepted, and you've grown into the thought that your primary means of achieving this is by being better than anyone else at your chosen activity/activities(what you call perfect) You want to be perfect not because you want to be perfect, but because you want people to see you as perfect.
Yeah actually, it was silly of me to leave this out in my post, but I did come across this in reading about perfectionism, and it does apply to me.
The whole idea of perfectionism comes about from trying to be accepted by everyone. I think I can start just by submitting my work without worrying what the receiving person might think of it.
Stop focusing on being what you think will make people like/aprecciate you, and start focusing on being what you are. This part is a little weird to me though. It's not like I am pretending to be something I am not. I am being who I am, but only trying to be the best at it - that part comes from trying to be socially accepted I guess, which is what I need to cut down on. But the whole idea of social acceptance is a little high level, and I don't think the solution to perfectionism is to "be yourself," but rather focus on cutting down perfectionism itself, until you don't feel the need to be perfect in the eyes of others.
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On March 25 2011 08:01 Xinliben wrote:
Maybe you guys just have OCD? I'm sure there is medicine to help you relax and not care so much about the little things.
I don't think it's OCD, because there is not really any repetitive action involved. But maybe there is medicine for whatever I am experiencing. Still, a non-medicine solution would probably be best.
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Holy smokes; through reading this blog I've actually realised I may too "suffer" from perfectionism.
At University I didn't do as well as I should due to procrastination and thinking the course was too easy for my knowledge levels, leading to sub-par results.
I also get this with SC2 although in a different manner.. Being an ex-professional FPSer, I feel that my skill level in SC2 should be seriously high to a good competitive level; yet I find myself not actually playing the game to improve, because I am trying to perfect my "mental" mechanics. For instance, I am picturing myself playing the game in my head perfectly; watching pro games and seeing "ah this is what I should do" or "I can actually do that", but then never actually playing any SC2 because I am afraid of making a mistake...
Good read. Though I am afraid to say, I currently have no idea on a "cure"... perhaps we need to chill out a bit ? Heh
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On March 25 2011 08:34 1OneLovE wrote:
Holy smokes; through reading this blog I've actually realised I may too "suffer" from perfectionism.
At University I didn't do as well as I should due to procrastination and thinking the course was too easy for my knowledge levels, leading to sub-par results.
I also get this with SC2 although in a different manner.. Being an ex-professional FPSer, I feel that my skill level in SC2 should be seriously high to a good competitive level; yet I find myself not actually playing the game to improve, because I am trying to perfect my "mental" mechanics. For instance, I am picturing myself playing the game in my head perfectly; watching pro games and seeing "ah this is what I should do" or "I can actually do that", but then never actually playing any SC2 because I am afraid of making a mistake...
Good read. Though I am afraid to say, I currently have no idea on a "cure"... perhaps we need to chill out a bit ? Heh Yup, I've definitely had frustrations with SCBW, and I also don't bother playing SC2 until I'm ready to destroy my way into masters. I don't feel like playing without lots of preparation haha.
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I feel PAIN whenever I make a mistake or realize that I am wrong.
I think I have this with starcraft.
I love to watch it, but playing is too frustrating to be fun 
I think playing cards with friends could be a good way to work through some of this. Something to show you that opening yourself up to failure can be a worthwhile endeavor.
+ Show Spoiler +It also takes me half an hour to make a four line post LOL
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On March 25 2011 08:27 oxidized wrote:Show nested quote +On March 25 2011 08:14 Myrkul wrote:
You can't solve your problem because you don't undrestand what your problem is. Saying that you want to be perfect because you're a perfectionist is not an explanation, it's simply describing the state of affairs. The key is in why you are a perfectionist. A most basic human need is to feel socially accepted, and you've grown into the thought that your primary means of achieving this is by being better than anyone else at your chosen activity/activities(what you call perfect) You want to be perfect not because you want to be perfect, but because you want people to see you as perfect. Yeah actually, it was silly of me to leave this out in my post, but I did come across this in reading about perfectionism, and it does apply to me. The whole idea of perfectionism comes about from trying to be accepted by everyone. I think I can start just by submitting my work without worrying what the receiving person might think of it. Show nested quote +Stop focusing on being what you think will make people like/aprecciate you, and start focusing on being what you are. This part is a little weird to me though. It's not like I am pretending to be something I am not. I am being who I am, but only trying to be the best at it - that part comes from trying to be socially accepted I guess, which is what I need to cut down on. But the whole idea of social acceptance is a little high level, and I don't think the solution to perfectionism is to "be yourself," but rather focus on cutting down perfectionism itself, until you don't feel the need to be perfect in the eyes of others.
Yea it came across a bit strange. I don't mean to say you're not being who you are, in fact everyone's identity in some part relies on what he thinks people think of him, it's just that in your particular case it relies a bit too much . The right aproach in my opinion is: "what I do, I do the way I think it should be done, and the way I'm satisfied with it being, and if someone doesn't like it, well boo hoo, they're wrong.
Anyhow, you're on the right path I think.
Good luck
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On March 25 2011 08:14 Myrkul wrote:
You can't solve your problem because you don't undrestand what your problem is. Saying that you want to be perfect because you're a perfectionist is not an explanation, it's simply describing the state of affairs. The key is in why you are a perfectionist. A most basic human need is to feel socially accepted, and you've grown into the thought that your primary means of achieving this is by being better than anyone else at your chosen activity/activities(what you call perfect) You want to be perfect not because you want to be perfect, but because you want people to see you as perfect. Stop focusing on being what you think will make people like/aprecciate you, and start focusing on being what you are.
I don't see how this helps anyone, I'm quite sure we're all aware people want to be good at things as a means of climbing the social ladder. If it were as easy as "stop focusing on being what you think will make people like/aprecciate you, and start focusing on being what you are", this world would be a much better place.
Unfortunately 99,9% of people care what other people think about them, even your posting on this site is probably because you want other people to care about what you think. Humans are social, you can't tell them to just be solitary selfsustaining creatures.
Admittedly, being perfectionistic to such a level is unhealthy, but I doubt we're going to find a solution in "just don't be perfectionistic or care what other people think".
Edit: I'm afraid that there's no suave (perfect?) solution to the problem, which makes dealling with it a problem in itself.
As for SC2, anyone on EU can add me (Saechiis.654) for some fun based non-judgmental games 
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Thank you for making this blog, at first I didn't think I was a perfectionist. It's hard to diagnose yourself as a perfectionist because you want to think that you don't believe in "silly made up conditions". Then I thought about how you said things like "procrastinate to email professors" "to find jobs" and I thought... "That's a me!" "Mario!"
By making this blog you've made me aware of an issue that I have, and have motivated me to work against it, and to minimize it's effects just through the knowledge of knowing that I am a perfectionist.
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EPT
