EPTEnjoy
P.S. I also found my blogs alot more interesting if i read them in Alan Wakes voice. Just throwin it out there
I had left her place once again. I took off shortly after 11 and headed home. When i arrived home my mom was still up working away at the computer on some report for work. She had greeted me and i had told her about picking Ashley up. Which was greeted with the hillarious and ironic response of
"Wow shes got you wrapped around her finger, one date and youre picking her up from school." I smirked a bit and made off to my room for an hour or so of lurking on TL and Family Guy.
Another night staring at the ceiling thinking about her. She was my girlfriend now. Thinking back, Replaying picking her up. She had laid her head on my chest. Totally not obligated to or anything. I remember her voice telling me its comfy, she enjoyed it.
I dozed off shortly after and woke around the usual time. Send her the good morning text. Typical day. Got work done, went home. Starcraft.
Friday night
Another long day at work, slowly ticking away. As if time knew i had another date tonight and was mocking me. The day was long and slow, leaving me with plenty of time to get everything done. But nothing to keep me occupied afterwards.
So trudging through the day at a snails pace we had texted back and forth as any new couple would have. Decided on dinner again, somewhere casual, cheap, easy. However we hadnt decided on what just yet. So the day ends and i almost step for step reenact Tuesday night. I hit the shower, scrubbed the hell out of my stained, tired hands. Got dressed. Checked the time.
6:27... again
And again, I ask her if its alright to show up at 7. She responds positively and i take off for her house once again.
I arrived at her house. The wind had picked up considerably from earlier in the day and was blowing snow around violently. I sprinted up the drvieway, jumped all 5 stairs, and stopped dead at her door. I wasnt quite as nervous tonight, I still had a woman to impress but at least my foot was in the door.
Tonight was different though. Tonight its like there was something at the back of my mind. Something that needed to be said. But what was it?
Eh... i dunno.
I shook it off when she had opened the door with another one of those heartwarming smiles. and joined me out on the porch. We met in a strong embrace as if we hadnt seen each other in years. It seemed like it but it was more along the lines of 20ish hours. The wind whipped between us and neither of us cared. She smiled up at me.
"Dont be so nervous tonight" and pulled me in for a long, warm kiss. We pulled back and smiled at each other and ran for my truck. I cranked the heat up and we took off for the other side of town.
As per usual light chatter filled the truck back and forth. She told me about her BFFL being in Florida and being jealous of her. Her stupid professor again. How she hates getting checked out by "wiggers" where she works. The usual conversations.
Driving around on the other side of town was proving to be the wrong idea. The busiest part of town was also the most sparse in the restaurant area. Chilis would have to do.
We had pulled in and had to circle the parking lot twice, there were literally no spots left. I made a wisecrack about there not being a reserved spot for "Princess Ashley" we both laughed and continued on our quest to find a spot to park.
And of course on the couldest windiest day of the year, we had to park in the Borders parking lot roughly 50 feet away from the Chilis parking lot. Lovely.
"Alright Princess, you ready to run?" I joked with her.
"Uh... no, Princesses dont run." She retorted with a smile.
We both got out and walked briskly towards the building. The wind had shifted behind us and was blowing stronger than ever. We had finally made it to the sidewalk to the entrance shortly after the torrent of wind and snow began pummeling us. She had all but hunched up in a ball walking, trying to reduce the amount of body getting blasted by the wind.
I stopped until she got a few steps ahead and began walking behind her. Blocking what i could. I knew that by my body size (5' 11"ish 200 lbs) being chilled to death must have been considerably hard on her, seeing as she is a few inches shorter and having quite a bit less body fat than I.
We arrived at the doors and the wind had completely stopped. Walking in we waited to be seated, She wrapped her arm around mine and put her head on my shoulder.
"That was really sweet. Thank you" Her face was a bit red from the cold. Or possibly my nice gesture. Either way was alright.
We were seated shortly after at a table 2 feet higher than it had any business being. The waiter took our orders, And we got down to business.
Tonight was more on a serious tone. Neither of us was quite as nervous now so we could dive a bit deeper and learn a bit more about each other. The conversation started with her asking about my family.
"Well... most of them are dead to be honest" It was true. My family name was dying. Out of all the extended family i knew existed, (roughly 15ish relatives) most had passed on except for one grandma and one aunt, that i had personally disowned. "Theres really only my grandma on my mothers side that lives up in Port Huron. Shes quite the inspiring woman, pretty funny too." And i explained shortly after that why i had decided to disown my aunt. "She had posted an Obama bashing thread on Facebook" i took a sip from my drink. Her eyes showed a bit of confusion "I had decided to throw my own 2 cents in. And she had recently married a carreer Navy officer so she was hardcore Republican now. Either way she didnt agree with what i said, She was being a bitch really. And all i did was try to explain very calmly that Obama isnt the reason why were in the middle east still, why theres gays in the military, and why nobody can prove hes some muslim thats trying to blow up america" Her eyes rolled along with mine. "Well she got more and more pissed off the more and more i shot down her extremely wrong points, and it turned into a "Im glad my parents are dead so they didnt see what a monster youve become" kind of thing" Her jaw had dropped.
A little more backstory. My father is Korean. The first 5 years of my life i had spent almost exclusively with my Korean grandmother. I was hit especially hard when news of her death had come to me. To this day i still miss her and wish i could have spent more time with her and learned more about my family history. Alas. Time is cruel
Needless to say, if she had said that to my face, She would have never spoken again.
So my familys rich tapestry is laid out on the table. I figured lets talk about hers.
Big mistake
She began talking about her father. The biological one. "He was an asshole. He treated me and mom like shit. He would drink and beat us" My heart sunk a bit "I had told my mom for years to divorce him. He was an alcoholic and an asshole. He made his living mowing lawns. most of which he bought alcohol with" My heart sunk even lower. Our food had arrived and we began to eat. However it didnt stop the veritable shitstorm of emotions built up over time. In between bites she continued; "Theres only one grandma in my family that still likes me. I like to spend quite a bit of time with her. She loves Logan to pieces." My heart had completely stopped. Time had stopped. It was that little clue that you know a bombshell is going to hit you.
A cold fear had washed over me. Time had come back to normal. And here it comes.
"Logan..." Her eyes turned towards the table. "His useless fucking dad..."
Oh god. If there was anything i knew never to bring up with a single mother it was that.
"That stupid piece of shit... He was just fucking useless. He was like every other guy i had dated. Sweet talking me "Were going to be together forever" and "I love you so much" and what the fuck happens when we have unprotected sex? I get fucking knocked up. And of course "Oh well take care of him together. Were going to be together forever" one week before Logan is born he fucking disappears. His whole fucking family had packed up and ran to Indiana." The feeling of fear had completely consumed me. Like i had opened Pandoras Box. "In fact. You probably knew him. He was in with the Auto Shop class" My heart had hit my feet.
I took Auto Shop most years of high school. Mostly because it was a fun class and i was already predisposed to fixing cars. Easy A. But looking back at the "Auto Shop Crew" and realizing one of them was the biological father of the child i may have to raise someday, made me completely freeze. My mind writhed with questions. I had to know. Even though i didnt want to know.
"So... what was his name?" i managed to squeak out. She looked up at me.
"Chris White"
The world around me shattered and i watched myself fly back through time. Back further and further to Junior year of high school. The memory played out in front of me.
"Dude... i need your help..." Chris had come running to me in the halls between classes, at the time we were decent friends. We would joke around and have fun in class but never really spoke much outside of school. "Ashleys pregnant... i dont know what to do"
"I uh... What did you want me to say about that?" My former self asked, my careless expression plastered my face
"I dont know man! im freaking the fuck out!" He shook me "What the hell would you do?!"
"I would man the fuck up and marry her. You dont have much of a choice now" I looked at him seriously in the eyes, i sensed his disapproval. That being the answer he didnt want to hear.
"Fuck man im not ready for this... There got to be some way out of this!" The memory had stopped. Snapping back to reality, hearing his sentance echo in my ears. I had turned back to her.
"Yeah i remember him. I didnt think he had it in him to run away" She had finished her mini burgers. "I mean, Really he seemed like he would have stuck with you" I tried to salvage the situation. I put her hands in mine and held them together. "Im really sorry he did that..." Her warm expression came back.
"I know... just thinking about it brings back alot of bad memories... That bastard only gave me one child support check. He probably stole that money from his grandma because they were all dirt poor." The check had come and i decided its about time for us to get the hell out so that we dont bring up any more bad memories.
We walked out and the wind miraculously picked up again. blasting us from the front this time. I took the lead and took the full force of the wind. The snow particles felt like daggers stabbing rapidly into me. I stood strong and walked all the way to the truck. My pants freezing to my legs, my nostrils freezing closed, the feeling of utter pain.
We had gotten into my truck and taken off. My face slowly thawed and we talked a little bit on the drive back to her place. A few roads before her place she asked if maybe we could park somewhere and talk a bit more. It was only 9 after all. And i knew the perfect place.
The local boat launch.
Many a child conceived in backseats here. Many a makeout session happened as well. Just a small parking lot overlooking the lake, streetlights dotted to parking lot here and there. We circled around the parking lot. Nobody. Perfect. We parked under a light, the sunroof of my truck let a brilliant white glow into the seat.
I got that feeling again. I gotta say something. My heart started racing.
"Look... Ashley..." She undid her seatbelt and scooted closer to me "I know its only been about a week now. And i understand youve had a bunch of terrible past relationships..." She laid her head on my chest "We both have. I just want you to know... Im not going anywhere. In a week youve treated me better than anyone. Gotten to know me better than anyone." Her head nestled a bit deeper. "I just want you to know that youve been in every thought and dream ive had lately. That i have been talking about you nonstop to all my friends about what i think about you" She turned her head up, The light made her beautiful skin glow.
"What do you think about me?" She said, eyes still closed.
"I..." I picked her head off my chest and held it gently in both of my hands, staring into her eyes. "I think youre the most beautiful woman ive ever met, Youre sweet, Youre caring, I just cant stop thinking about you..." My mind kept racing. What else could i say? "You just blow my mind. Youre so... perfect for me." She smiled a bit and i pulled her in close for a hug. My lips ended up next to her ear. My mind struggled to grasp what i was thinking. My heart was about to break my ribcage. And all i could think of was her. Our hearts beat in unision in our embrace.
I pulled her head even closer, my lips almost on her ear
"Ashley..." What was i saying? I didnt have anything written in my mind to say.
"...I love you"
To be continued
By the way i promised a pic. This was the best we could do. All of the others turned out bad lol...
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![[image loading]](http://imgur.com/GtUb9.jpg)
