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Ask me anything about being a Man, Korean Style - Page 8

Blogs > MightyAtom
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StorkHwaiting
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States3465 Posts
February 23 2011 19:19 GMT
#141
Yeah with Chinese we believe it's something learned and innate, of course some better than others, but generally it comes with proper breeding, upbringing, and learning. Confucian etc :D.
alexpnd
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada1857 Posts
February 23 2011 19:32 GMT
#142
How do you overcome sadness? I'm 24 now, I messed up with 2 schools believe it or not, but now I'm at a college that as far as delivering quality education is far below my standards. However, thankfully they offer a co-op which is currently very satisfying in educating and giving me experience I was after. To put things further in perspective, my brother is becoming a lawyer over at UofA and my younger brother is finishing his major in Neurobiology at Harvard of all places with his eye on a Phd I'm proud of them but I don't want to be left in the dust with a college diploma :S which is not entirely bad but I'm fuzzy on job prospects. I consider myself very intelligent and many other good things but not getting the foot in the door is my greatest fear. Not only that but my engineering 'buds' are boasting their Toronto lifestyles etc and I'm stuck at home like a nobody, only partying with them once every couple of months because of my poverty. So now. I'm getting killer grades and have good favor of many of the professors. My aim is to cut off 2 years from a comp sci program and finally get a degree at 27ish years of age and that's only if I manage to cut the program in half. Then I have to get a job and get a life. It's painful to even think about. Your thoughts?
www.brainyweb.ca //web stuff!
beetlelisk
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Poland2276 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-02-23 19:40:18
February 23 2011 19:38 GMT
#143
On February 24 2011 02:14 MightyAtom wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 23 2011 23:24 beetlelisk wrote:
On February 23 2011 22:26 VManOfMana wrote:
Two questions:

1. How would you explain the Korean Starcraft phenomenon to a foreigner (non-Korean)? Have you ever been in a situation where it becomes a topic of conversation with non-Koreans?

2. Given the competitiveness of Korean society (as you have explained it), how does progaming fits into it? I live in the United States, and my personal experience is that gaming is still looked down upon by people over 35. After what you said in your blogs, it sounds a bit illogical that of all countries, progaming would develop in Korea.

Yeah, do you think it's because competitive society is generating so much stress that Korean people are (or maybe have to be) tolerant to a wider variety of stress relievers than Westerners?


Playing scbw is not stress relieving for Korean pro gamers, its because of too much academic competitive pressures that actually contribute to kids wanting to be a progamer rather than continue in school.

For the general population: we treat it like a sports league, so the fans view and play and for older guys, its fun in the PC bang. But for stress release, Koreans drink a lot; about once a week we get sloshed, we probably have one of the high rates of alcohol consumption in the developed countries.

So it's just natural, nice ^__^
Generation or 2 and gaming will take over West too...

I'm not sure if I understand correctly what is nunchi: in short it's an ability to read other people's emotions and knowing how to react properly?
I wanted to say "sort of empathy" but way more calculated?
wwww
LosingID8
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
CA10828 Posts
February 23 2011 20:01 GMT
#144
nunchi is basically being able to read subtleties in social situations and acting accordingly.
ModeratorResident K-POP Elitist
SushilS
Profile Joined November 2010
2115 Posts
February 23 2011 20:28 GMT
#145
Dave-hyung for president...
He changed my life. True story.
Insta-5/5 ofc.
iceiceice: I’m going to make this short; I am the one true tinker player.
MightyAtom
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Korea (South)1897 Posts
February 23 2011 21:06 GMT
#146
On February 24 2011 04:32 alexpnd wrote:
How do you overcome sadness? I'm 24 now, I messed up with 2 schools believe it or not, but now I'm at a college that as far as delivering quality education is far below my standards. However, thankfully they offer a co-op which is currently very satisfying in educating and giving me experience I was after. To put things further in perspective, my brother is becoming a lawyer over at UofA and my younger brother is finishing his major in Neurobiology at Harvard of all places with his eye on a Phd I'm proud of them but I don't want to be left in the dust with a college diploma :S which is not entirely bad but I'm fuzzy on job prospects. I consider myself very intelligent and many other good things but not getting the foot in the door is my greatest fear. Not only that but my engineering 'buds' are boasting their Toronto lifestyles etc and I'm stuck at home like a nobody, only partying with them once every couple of months because of my poverty. So now. I'm getting killer grades and have good favor of many of the professors. My aim is to cut off 2 years from a comp sci program and finally get a degree at 27ish years of age and that's only if I manage to cut the program in half. Then I have to get a job and get a life. It's painful to even think about. Your thoughts?


First off, you're still young, its hard to put that into perspective, but you are.

If you are successful at age 28, or 35, when you're 40, did it really matter when you were successful or when you got on your path?

Intelligence is via genetics, that's my thought on it, if you say you're intelligent, I believe it,
but maybe you're too intelligent that is why you messed up with your first 2 schools.

When you're young and smart, things come easy, so it is hard to feel any desperation or even appreciation for getting good results, because you inherently think that because you are intelligent, that in itself is enough. But when the results are starkly contrary to your own self image, is when you get the reality check.

Being too intelligent is a crutch as well, because unless your IQ is plus 170, the material will eventually be harder than you can instantly process, thus when this occurs: this is a new situation where you actually have struggle and your ego would rather just pass it off instead of putting the hard work into it.

Let me ask you a serious question; if you were to go back in time, as you are now, and then meet yourself at the first school and say, LISTEN ALEXPND, YOU KNOW THIS IS YOUR FUTURE SELF, if you dont' fucking start to study now, you're fucked and you're gonna end up in a low end college, fucking study now!'

do you really think you would have listened to your future self and averted the disaster?

Then you visit yourself again in the second school and same thing. No, a guy like you doesn't listen until they get to a point where they at the bottom and there are no more chances yet to simply not apply yourself.

For you, this is the best thing that could have happened to you, because if you really are as smart as you think you are, then where you were educated is virtually irrelevant if you can prove your worth in the work force. And make no doubt about it, you're still gonna have to work for those diplomas and maybe do more schooling and work harder when you are in your first real shitty job.

But here is the thing, a guy like you, if you get past this, the fact that you can't rest on your laurels with a nice shiny prime A degree or ivy school pedigree, this will be a chip on your shoulder and you will work hard to put this deep in your past. So you will work harder, longer, better and you will continue to improve yourself and do better and never stop achieving. When you are in that company the CEO will notice you are different, you are better and you're hungry.

When others think they are established at 30, you'll just be getting out of the gutter into the sunlight, but you will continue to be better and when you compare the fact that you never stopped learning, going forward, by the time you compare your achievements at 35, you''ll be light years ahead of those who thought they made it when they graduated from a good school or as a professional.

Embrace your situation as a wake up call, forget about living it up now, focus, concentrate and fight to get back into the game and become a warrior and be the best in the field and never ever stop.

Heroes are made this way, so stop being a pussy and thinking about what was or what is now or what will be. Just fight the good fight and know that your damn intelligence got you in this mess, and now that you've finally learned how to use it properly for other than your ego, nothing can stop you from moving up, even if you are at the bottom now. Just never stop and be the fucking hero.

^^


Administrator-I am the universe- Morihei Ueshiba
MightyAtom
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Korea (South)1897 Posts
February 23 2011 21:09 GMT
#147
On February 24 2011 05:01 LosingID8 wrote:
nunchi is basically being able to read subtleties in social situations and acting accordingly.


yes that is it.
if it is really developed then you can anticipate someone's questioning with the answer before they actually speak, thus rendering people speechless.
Administrator-I am the universe- Morihei Ueshiba
MightyAtom
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Korea (South)1897 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-02-23 21:11:16
February 23 2011 21:10 GMT
#148
On February 24 2011 05:28 SushilS wrote:
Dave-hyung for president...
He changed my life. True story.
Insta-5/5 ofc.


Being Hyung is enough ^^ oh and don't be a politician,
make money without fame is the best way to live.
Administrator-I am the universe- Morihei Ueshiba
Cedstick
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
Canada3336 Posts
February 23 2011 23:02 GMT
#149
Hahaha, loved your answer. Women: robots with de-compression timers XD
"What does Rivington do when he's not commentating?" "Drool." ~ Categorist
thehorsebecomesking
Profile Joined February 2011
189 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-02-24 00:52:42
February 24 2011 00:47 GMT
#150
I live with someone right now and I am scared of the consequences. I dont think I'm ready to give in yet. I constantly think about all the beautiful women that I will never get to know if I stay with this one. I also think she is not the best I can score, even though I'm not 100% sure on that one. Another thing that troubles me is that she isn't the brightest girl I've met, the point about intelligence being hereditary is valid in my eyes. But it is very likely that no one else will love me as much as she does and no one else will be closer and more honest with me than she is. It's like she's never really grown up. She is only a year younger than I am which is not good either seeing how I'm starting to feel old.

Do you think that marrying someone should be based upon social status and qualities rather than 'love'? When do you know it's time to get married?

Also what bothers me a great deal is that she will suffer a lot from breaking up with me. She was about to give up on trying to find her man right before we met. I'm afraid of all the consequences of that possible breakup and of her not being able to handle it. How do you break up with someone you care so much for?
MisterD
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Germany1338 Posts
February 24 2011 01:11 GMT
#151
my former politics and history teacher always said he married his wife not out of love, but because of tax privileges (which is indeed somewhat significant here in Germany afaik).

(Yes he was always ironic about everything ;P )
Gold isn't everything in life... you need wood, too!
cArn-
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Korea (South)824 Posts
February 24 2011 02:55 GMT
#152
On February 24 2011 02:34 MightyAtom wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 24 2011 00:22 cArn- wrote:
Here is my issue ;

I've met a korean girl at a place I go to pretty often, and at some point I ended up asking for a picture with her (she's really beautiful), as they take picture of the people coming in at the end of the event, and asked her name before leaving. After that she started to come to me when I happened to be at the same place (at an event, in the subway, etc..) to talk and whatnot. Before all that a friend confirmed me that she would glance at me pretty often when I was around (I noticed it because I have a hard time getting my eyes off her myself). So after all that I figure she would be interested in me in some way, but being the retard that I'm I took a very long time to actually try to make something happen, and she backed off a bit and wasn't really coming to me anymore.
So when valentine day came I finally decided to make a move and sent her a chocolate box along with a rose with written "happy valentine day" in korean, signed from me, via a co-worker of hers that I know pretty well (I couldn't go there myself obviously). So when I saw her a few days later I asked if she received it etc and if she liked and smiled giggle a bit saying that yeah she liked it, so later on this day I tried to invite her for dinner the night of her last work day of the week, but she basically said she's working late and has to get home afterwards, so that she couldn't. I told her I would drive her home back anyway but I don't think she clearly understood that (her english is decent but she's not fluent), and when I proposed the next day which is her day off she said that she's resting on that day (it's her only day off).

So basically I don't really know if I could take that as a no and her being too nice to tell me directly or if she really is too busy and too tired with work etc. I'm even more confused as she clearly seemed interested at first, unless I'm completely misunderstanding the situation.

I also know that it's korean girls who actually are supposed to send chocolate on valentine's day in korea, and that men do it the next month, but I still did it cause I'm not korean and I thought I could get away with it as I'm not supposed to know that kind of things as a foreigner.
It also doesn't make sense to me as I think they would expect men to take the initiative, so I just did.

Also I almost forgot, we are both 23.

Sorry for the long post but I felt you would need some details to help me figure it out, and I really need to settle this as it's ruining my focus a lot and I can't practice nor perform decently anymore


She likes you, but she is shy or comes from a conservative house hold.
Keep mentioning that she is pretty;
go out for coffee with her during lunch
spend time together,
ask her if she has a boyfriend,
ask her about her family background
and she may really be actually tired etc.

there is a thing in korea called 'skin ship'
a play on friendship, but means when you hang out, you sit close to one another, you shoulders touch when sitting beside each other, you playfully hold hands etc.
if you get to the skinship level, she likes you 100%.

What you can do is this, one day later when you say, lets go for coffee and grab her hand so that you pull her towards the door,
if she pulls away immediately, gg -.-
if she squeezes your hand back, gg!
if she is limp but smiles, she is shy but good.

if she squeezes it back then hold on to it and be joyful,
if limp then let it go as soon as you pass the door way.

But, keep asking her out like this: what are you doing on your free day, the time she says, 'nothing' then you ask her to join you doing something (not asking her out, but say you are going somewhere and if she'd like to join you).

Now I give this advice this way, because I think she is shy or she is tired, but she likes you,
but if you like her, continue to tell her she looks great today (but not when she actually does look like shit or else she may think you are teasing her).


Thanks a lot ! I had some ideas about how to go about it and wasn't too sure if that was the right things to do but now I have a much better idea of how to handle this.

Always love your blogs hyung :
Twitter : http://twitter.com/CARNDARAK
milikan
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States67 Posts
February 24 2011 03:46 GMT
#153
how do you make sure you wake up on time? i can set 5 alarms on my phone and put it in another room, but if im sleepy enough ill just get up, turn the alarm off, get back into bed, and fall right back asleep.

this usually happens after im up all night studying. ;_;
MightyAtom
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Korea (South)1897 Posts
February 24 2011 03:47 GMT
#154
On February 24 2011 08:02 Cedstick wrote:
Hahaha, loved your answer. Women: robots with de-compression timers XD


keke, good summary ^^
Administrator-I am the universe- Morihei Ueshiba
MightyAtom
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Korea (South)1897 Posts
February 24 2011 04:15 GMT
#155
On February 24 2011 09:47 thehorsebecomesking wrote:
I live with someone right now and I am scared of the consequences. I dont think I'm ready to give in yet. I constantly think about all the beautiful women that I will never get to know if I stay with this one. I also think she is not the best I can score, even though I'm not 100% sure on that one. Another thing that troubles me is that she isn't the brightest girl I've met, the point about intelligence being hereditary is valid in my eyes. But it is very likely that no one else will love me as much as she does and no one else will be closer and more honest with me than she is. It's like she's never really grown up. She is only a year younger than I am which is not good either seeing how I'm starting to feel old.

Do you think that marrying someone should be based upon social status and qualities rather than 'love'? When do you know it's time to get married?

Also what bothers me a great deal is that she will suffer a lot from breaking up with me. She was about to give up on trying to find her man right before we met. I'm afraid of all the consequences of that possible breakup and of her not being able to handle it. How do you break up with someone you care so much for?


I assume you're in your mid-twenties.

1. Do you love her is not the issue here, it appears that you do, let me ask you another question, do you want her to be the mother of your children?

She will treat you well, but so will a lot of people, you love her, but you both can love others. For upper society Koreans, generally, social status and qualities are a pre-check mark, meaning that if the social status and qualities are not present in the first place, you would not consider to even have a relationship with the girl in the first place. I realize that it seems heartless, but when this pre-checklist is confirmed, then you are free to say either you love or can love or not.

So I'll be very clear in that; you're not douche for thinking this way, marriage is very difficult, its best to start the marriage off with the best possible circumstances because there will be MANY things in the long run you guys don't like or are not happy with each other, but because of love you accept them truly for who they are and every negative is simply them. BUT BEFORE MARRIAGE, you have a choice and that choice can be seen as very selfish, but its your one life and this is the one time you get to be selfish because its a freaking life long commitment. If you follow this way, then the chances for divorce are less (although with me there is no possibility of divorce, my wife will be my wife whether she likes it or not).

2. The fact that you are still thinking about the many women you have yet to find and date, but resign yourself to the fact that you know she probably will love and care for you the most and you do have care for her deeply means... you need separation time to get a reality check: either to appreciate her as the angel that she is or for you to find someone who you feel does match with you better and that you don't feel any passive aggressive pressure (basically using your own guilt against you by being blameless). If you are serious about marriage tot his girl; then separate for at least a month and then come back to it and decide then. She may not understand or agree or try to bother you during that month, but even if you have to move out for a month, do it and go and see what is out there.

Now a month doesn't seem like much, but you need to respect her too, you know her, you know the situation, now you don't have the luxury of time to keep her along and find yourself; if you want all the time in the world, then break up now and then hope that she is still waiting to take you back if you find out that you truly loved her and need her. But if you want simply 'confirm' and get a reality check, 1 month with little contact except for sms to see if she is fine, is enough.


3. DON'T FUCKING LIVE FOR SOMEONE, You need to live for yourself first, to be the best that you can be and then you can be the best for someone else. If she is this loving and good, she will find someone else and if it takes a long time then it will, but to continue to be with her because you care about her situation is that ACTUALLY, she really doesn't care about you. Now you may have not expressed this to her, so maybe she does really care about you. When I was engaged, I asked my wife for some time off, like 2 weeks. She said yes. And she said to me, 'i love you, and if you will be happy with someone else but not me, I can accept that because I love you and want the best for you'. Now she could have been uber good at manipulating me, but I know she wasn't and truly loved me to be the best man I could be. No matter how hard it is, if she simply can't give you that space, then she is being selfish too, and it is very very tough; but if you come back to her, then you come back 100%, than being 80% the rest of your life.

We live to be the best that we can be and that is what we share with others. Maybe she does make you the best you can be and you just don't know it yet. But everything you have written, it shows, you care, you're a good man,

but you need take action so you can make a clear decision.
That is what men do, make a clear decision, not always the right one, but one they can sleep at night with. It's the times where you don't make a clear decision that you regret.
Administrator-I am the universe- Morihei Ueshiba
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
February 24 2011 04:17 GMT
#156
What are the best methods of seducing room salon girls (10pro)?

How do you feel Korean women interpret a man's wealth? aka what's more 'impressive' to them, a man who dresses nice and talks rich, or a man who does neither but spends out the wahoozle. a man with a seemingly 'high profile' samsung job or a man with a baller car?

When you're like "okay we don't need another bottle of soju" and the korean girl says "FUCK THAT ONE MORE," what kind of lady is she?

In your opinion, what are the personality differences between korean women who prefer to live alone and those that live with a roommate(s) or their parents?
why so 진지해?
MightyAtom
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Korea (South)1897 Posts
February 24 2011 04:18 GMT
#157
On February 24 2011 12:46 milikan wrote:
how do you make sure you wake up on time? i can set 5 alarms on my phone and put it in another room, but if im sleepy enough ill just get up, turn the alarm off, get back into bed, and fall right back asleep.

this usually happens after im up all night studying. ;_;


Right before you go to bed, drink a large cup of water.
Even if you want to sleep in, you can't cause you need to go for a piss so bad.
As soon as you go to the washroom, take your piss, don't go back to bed,
WASH YOUR FACE immediately, and turn on the shower to a hot temperature,
go into the shower and sleep standing up in the shower until you wake up,
don't leave it until you feel like you wont' go back to bed,
then turn the shower as cold as you can, step out and get a cup of coffee right away and off you go.

If you still can't wake, up, drink 2 cups of water;
at your age, you won't piss in your bed, you'll get a nightmare about pissing in your bed and then wake up before that happens.
Administrator-I am the universe- Morihei Ueshiba
MightyAtom
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Korea (South)1897 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-02-24 05:15:16
February 24 2011 04:48 GMT
#158
On February 24 2011 13:17 Rekrul wrote:
What are the best methods of seducing room salon girls (10pro)?

How do you feel Korean women interpret a man's wealth? aka what's more 'impressive' to them, a man who dresses nice and talks rich, or a man who does neither but spends out the wahoozle. a man with a seemingly 'high profile' samsung job or a man with a baller car?

When you're like "okay we don't need another bottle of soju" and the korean girl says "FUCK THAT ONE MORE," what kind of lady is she?

In your opinion, what are the personality differences between korean women who prefer to live alone and those that live with a roommate(s) or their parents?



Seducing is not my main ability, making them into your mistress would be my area of expertise, if I did such things.
For 10pro girls at Room salons (10% of the most beautiful of beautiful girls), they are very realistic about men, not cynical,but accept that a man is by nature not monogamous and needs entertainment. They are most attracted to a man with lots of money, but who is actually kind. Because they themselves make about 15k a month anyways.

The question about how women interpret a man's wealth depends on their own status: low end girls are dazed by the nicely dressed guy who talks rich, but won't be dumb to realize that the real baller is the one that spends like a mofo, but side by side, they low end girls will pick the nicely dressed guy.

The low end girls will pick the samsung guy as they will assume the guy will the baller car is a 'habitual cheater'-baram doongee- anyways but if they are young, the will go with the baller car guy.
But a high class woman wont' bother with a samsung guy at all and will consider the baller guy if he has no existing reputation and if he really is from a wealthy family rather than just fronting.


If a girls says, 'fuck that one more bottle'; low class bitch who drinks too much.

Personality between girls who prefer to live alone rather than with friends or family? The former likes to have one night stands frequently or can't stand the pressure of Korean society or maybe very serious about her studies. The other one is normal.

Ah but rekrul, you already know this better than me, you are just being kind to give the kids some good questions they wouldn't have thought to ask ^^*
Administrator-I am the universe- Morihei Ueshiba
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
February 24 2011 05:24 GMT
#159
What does the average Korean man think when they see a white guy walking around the street with a hot girl?
why so 진지해?
MightyAtom
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Korea (South)1897 Posts
February 24 2011 05:28 GMT
#160
On February 24 2011 14:24 Rekrul wrote:
What does the average Korean man think when they see a white guy walking around the street with a hot girl?


In Gangnam Seoul: won't even notice
In Itaewon Seoul: another Korean whore with US army guy
In general Seoul: interesting, but whatever

In the country side: fucking whore bitch

Oveseas Koreans: envy and wondering why all the white guys get the hot Korean bitches
Administrator-I am the universe- Morihei Ueshiba
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