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Hey all, I'm still rather new here, but a few of you may know who I am, my name is Pete. and I'm a Competitive Gamer from the New England area. I am 25 Years Old, Married, and have 4 Children (3 Step, 1 Biological). I also have been writing for a while on a few other sites. Within my blogs, I do my best to get a few notable points across, and express to the reader my unique way of thinking, and hope that it enriches that individuals life in some menial way.
This Blog is no Different.
This story begins last night at about 8PM on an average Thursday night. me and my wife Maria put Lauren (10 Month old Daughter) and Joey (6 Year old Stepson) to bed, and after the house was settled in and quiet, I decided to boot up Starcraft 2, and play some 2v2 Ladder Matches with my good friend LiquidNeon (No Connection to Team Liquid mind you, he's had this handle since 1998). So,we played our matches, and luckily enough, won all of them. We decided to quit while we were ahead, and both logged off for the evening. I then went to watch TV with my wife with a new found sense of accomplishment, after a very successful gaming session. 
The following conversation ensued,
Maria: "Why are you so happy?"
Me: "Me and Craig (Liquid Neon) just kicked some serious ass in Starcraft tonight, I think we've found a great strategy. And it seems to be working against a lot of other teams. We won every game we played tonight."
Maria: "Great..." *she exclaimed with a deep amount of sarcasm.
Me: "What? is it wrong for me to be happy and feel accomplished about winning?"
Maria: "It is when it's over a stupid video game."
... Now I'm going to put this conversation on pause, and analyze what just occurred.
Basically, I was attempting to express my joy to someone who I love and care for immensely, and it was inherently thrown to the wayside. needless to say, it was not exactly the response I was hoping for. The conversation then took a bit of a detour, as one would assume. It went from a good light-hearted conversation, into a "State of the Union" type conversation about our entire marriage.
I found out last night, how much my wife truly dislikes how much I play video games. From how involved I am with them, the amount in which I play them, and how she feels that I push my family and her aside to play them.
Bear in mind, that this is all her opinion, my side of the story is slightly different.
My basic day goes like this:
Wake up around 7:30AM
Leave for work before 8:30AM
Get to Work at 9:00AM
Leave Work at 6:00PM
Get home by 6:30-6:45PM
Eat Dinner with Family when I walk in the door.
I'll Clean-up dinner and the house afterward, while maria gives Lauren and Joey a bath before bedtime.
Kids are in bed around 7:30PM.
After 7:30PM, is when things wind down, and we could actually do something.
Now I'd like to actually unwind a bit. as you can see, 90% of my day is pretty much booked, day in, day out. with rarely any space that I could call "me time".
So yes. after the kids are in bed, I would much rather play a few video games, as opposed to just sit mindlessly and watch TV (what my wife does). And on top of that, my wife is usually up at around 6 or 6:30 in the morning to feed the baby, and is ready to fall asleep around 8:30 - 9PM. much... much earlier than I choose to. however, she tends to get upset when I don't go to bed the same time as her.
So, I suppose you see my dilemma. every night, I have to choose doing something for myself, or spending time with my wife.
Any night I choose to play games, my wife views it as me "blowing her off" and ignoring her. which truly is not the case. She's even extended that thinking into the idea that I'd prefer to play video games, than have sex with her. Which, also... is not the case...
In Short, I'm not tired at 9PM, and prefer to do something besides watch TV.
So, I had an epiphany, and I thought long and hard about why I do the things I do, and that perhaps that if I explained my actions, she may understand, after all she is my wife.
If your going to read any part of this, the part below is the real reason for this blog.
What I did then was completely open up to her. I told her that I love video games, and the truth is, I love that I love video games. (A Paraphrase of Day[9]'s I think) They are something I'm passionate about, and they truly do, enrich my life, much like any other hobby that anyone on the planet may have. From the entertainment of the games themselves, the analytical thinking and problem solving that they require to be proficient at them, and even to the communities that come together because of them (like us here at TL). Video gaming is a big part of my life, and a part that I would hate to lose for any reason.
Video games in my opinion, are highly responsible for what I have accomplished in life. Does that sound stupid? Think again. What other "Form of Entertainment" exists to where your forced to make Split Second Decisions, Solve complex puzzles, interact with environments, memorize many different points of data and strategies, and be able to recall that information as needed and execute it proficiently. And, in some cases, have the needed social skills to get a team of people working together for a common goal.
The Answer: None.
Gamers aren't just people with a hobby.
The skills and attributes you can obtain by playing games on a moderate level, are nearly unmatched by traditional means of education.
However, many "Gamers" Are viewed as immature kids (or childish adults) who are social misfits and are usually described by the general populous as such. It's a shame really, because if we (As Gamers) were to break that stereotype, and to convince others why our passion for video games is so justifiable, we'd be able to obtain so much more, as a whole.
I'd like to feel that I could use myself as an example. I'm a Married 25-year-old with children, who holds a steady, and respectable job. And also, is a Gamer.
So. here's my conclusion.
What we need more than anything, as Gamers, is AMBASSADORS. Individuals who can convincingly explain to others (non-gamers), why not only our hobby is so great, but to break the stereotypes that have been plaguing it since it's inception.
So I ask each and every one of you, to spread this message, and find one person out there to describe your love of video games to. but do yourself a favor, Talk from the heart, and with any luck, they'll understand. It could be a family member, teacher, anyone really. But if we work together, imagine what we could accomplish.
And soon enough, people won't be referring to your beloved and cherished hobby as "A Stupid Video Game."
-Anachromy
Blogger's Notes: I hope that this blog does not seem like to much of a re-hashing. I know this topic has been tackled before (or perhaps, to death). I just wanted to portray my thoughts in a relateable way.
  
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If you spent that time watching basketball, she'd still have the same response, so it has nothing to do with video games. That's just my take on it though.
btw i know that wasnt the point of your blog, just saying
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I think I only medium-strength like that I love video games. They are such a timesink, it takes so much time to achieve things in them that it has to cut out of other things that are also worthwhile. That's my biggest issue with them.
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I feel sorry for you, man.
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On February 16 2011 02:42 vOdToasT wrote:
I feel sorry for you, man.
Why do you feel sorry for him?
I don't think the purpose of this blog was to incite pity.
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TL;DR version of this blog is here.
Anyway, we gamers don't receive the respect we have to receive. It's like we're 159864925th tier people with below 0 social skills, live 6 feet deep and do a sheet job to live and sheet. This sucks. Casual gaming has no single problem in it.
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[sarcasm] Dude, you're married with kids. You don't get "me time" anymore. [/sarcasm]
There's no real solution here. Your wife has her opinion of gaming and you have yours. If you can change her opinion, great! If you can't (which is most likely the case), she'll remain bitter about it.
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On February 16 2011 02:44 deepfield1 wrote:Why do you feel sorry for him? I don't think the purpose of this blog was to incite pity.
It was indeed not the purpose, but I can imagine how annoying it must be for him. At least, how annoying it would be for ME if I was him.
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On February 16 2011 02:44 deepfield1 wrote:Why do you feel sorry for him? I don't think the purpose of this blog was to incite pity.
he's got 99 problems but a bitch aint one
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Ehhhh, gaming is a hobby, but a hobby can have major effects on a person's life, and can become more than a hobby given certain circumstances.
Like, for instance, amateur musicians play piano, guitar, drums, whatever, as a hobby, but it can still be a big deal for them, and something important to them, and even shape their life.
It still is a hobby unless they do it professionally, in my opinion.
But that's semantics, so if anyone disagrees, please PM me instead of derailing the thread.
I think the eye-rolling/sarcasm/whatever is partially (just partially, not entirely) about the way you phrased it as well? I mean, I'm a computer geek and a music nerd, and while I do find it amusing to say to someone, "Yeah, I totally played non-diatonic tones over that chord, that was pretty cool," I also know that it might not get anything other than a mocking response. If I said, maybe something like, "I had a lot of fun playing that song," it might not be so badly received.
I don't disagree with you though, people have a stilted perception of gaming. But that's true of everything, and honestly, I think the whole gamers as outsiders era is really over. It might just be PC gamers as outsiders now. Specifically Starcraft players.
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tbh, i cant see gaming fitting into your life as it is.
you're 25years old, having 4 children
your life is basically:
get up
get to work
get home from work
eat dinner with family
and thats about it?
Try thinking about your wife, her situation.
Shes up early in the morning
probably making breakfast
The kids need to get to school as well
she got some time to do all the neccesary stuff at home like
doing laundry etc
making dinner
and thats about her day?
sounds like a typical day for me, but im pretty sure she wants to spend some time with you as much time as possible, since she cant see you for 3/4 of a day.
Watching TV with your wife is not just watching TV anymore, but more like doing some social stuff with your wife.
btw im a big fan of the starcraft world, following the BW and SC2 scene as much as i can, but considering your situation, i dont think you even got time or room for the game anymore.
i hope you will be able to find a solution, and let me hear about it if you do find one, since i think there are alot of people sitting in the same situation as you.
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Dude, video games are not the most important thing right now. Honestly, I would stop playing unless there is literally nothing else you could/should be doing with your family.
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0 places in your schedule included your wife.
Even if TV is less interesting than starcraft its something you can do with your wife.
I mean your wife deals with kids all day with 0 % intelligent conversation. Do you realise how crazy that makes house wives? Then you come in and she expects some attention and instead you play starcraft?
I'm not saying it has to be sex but do something together. Perhaps ..talk? ...go for a walk? ..get rid of the kids maybe 1 night a week and go on a date to movies / nice restauarant?
Do you love your wife or starcraft more?
When you have a wife and kids its time to forget about me time. Sorry but it is. Yes you work for 8 hours a day but that doesn't mean you have no responsibility when you come home. It is tough and it is hard but its life and it's what you signed up to when you said "I do" at the wedding altar.
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On February 16 2011 03:10 Sfydjklm wrote:Show nested quote +On February 16 2011 02:44 deepfield1 wrote:On February 16 2011 02:42 vOdToasT wrote:
I feel sorry for you, man. Why do you feel sorry for him? I don't think the purpose of this blog was to incite pity. he's got 99 problems but a bitch aint one
Actually, he's got exactly one problem, and if you're feeling particularly crude and insensitive, you might refer to it as a "bitch."
But that would be mean. 
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be honest - how much do you play in an average week?
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Osaka27172 Posts
While I agree with the second part of your post, I think there will be a natural evolution in the idea of gaming, simply because gamers are getting older. The average long-term TL member is a gamer, is in or has finished university, and many of us have kids and families. As that continues, gaming will become more accepted. I don't think there is any forcing the issue.
As for your schedule, why don't you just play after she goes to bed? It isn't reasonable for you to have to lay in bed while she sleeps.
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man, i live with my girlfriend. we dont even have kids and i barely get any time alone anymore. FUCKKK.
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EPT
