EPTOn October 21 2010 13:42 Ndugu wrote:
Since I told you to scrap this, I figured I'd try and help present an alternative.
I'll describe my essay to you, as an example of an essay a somewhat generic person can write to get into college. Not that I'm generic, and I actually could have written quite the baller pity essay. But it was either pity essay, or pull something fairly crazy.
I started my essay off with something along the lines of "Brontosaurus. I still have trouble restraining myself when I hear someone misname this magnificent sauropod." (It's real name is Apatosaurus, in case you're a fucking n00b)
"Brontosaurus." as my first sentence caught the attention of whoever just got finished reading twelve essays about how bad being a middle-class teenager is.
I then went on to talk about how much I fucking loved dinosaurs when I was a kid. So much so that when I was 5 and I heard about there being a book version of Jurassic Park (<3 Michael Chrichton), I decided I would read it. My parents told me it was too hard, but I told them to fuck off. I sat down with a dictionary and worked my way through the book cover to cover, barely understanding one word in seven without the dictionary's help.
I then concluded on some happy note about how happy I was when I finished reading Jurassic Park, how much better it was-- even better than the movie! This desire to learn and read has never left me... yadayada.
It painted a picture of mas a) A cute five year old, bonus points b) someone who's hard working and doesn't give up. Make sure you have a subliminal message in your essay that you kick ass. Overall it had a really upbeat, positive, happy, successful tone. Imagine your job is to read these pieces of shit all day and night.
For the record, I got into a college that I had absolutely no right to. I didn't send in a sheet with my extracurricular activities because it would have been less impressive than nothing at all. I only sent one recommendation. I'm pretty sure someone liked my essay :D
Since I told you to scrap this, I figured I'd try and help present an alternative.
I'll describe my essay to you, as an example of an essay a somewhat generic person can write to get into college. Not that I'm generic, and I actually could have written quite the baller pity essay. But it was either pity essay, or pull something fairly crazy.
I started my essay off with something along the lines of "Brontosaurus. I still have trouble restraining myself when I hear someone misname this magnificent sauropod." (It's real name is Apatosaurus, in case you're a fucking n00b)
"Brontosaurus." as my first sentence caught the attention of whoever just got finished reading twelve essays about how bad being a middle-class teenager is.
I then went on to talk about how much I fucking loved dinosaurs when I was a kid. So much so that when I was 5 and I heard about there being a book version of Jurassic Park (<3 Michael Chrichton), I decided I would read it. My parents told me it was too hard, but I told them to fuck off. I sat down with a dictionary and worked my way through the book cover to cover, barely understanding one word in seven without the dictionary's help.
I then concluded on some happy note about how happy I was when I finished reading Jurassic Park, how much better it was-- even better than the movie! This desire to learn and read has never left me... yadayada.
It painted a picture of mas a) A cute five year old, bonus points b) someone who's hard working and doesn't give up. Make sure you have a subliminal message in your essay that you kick ass. Overall it had a really upbeat, positive, happy, successful tone. Imagine your job is to read these pieces of shit all day and night.For the record, I got into a college that I had absolutely no right to. I didn't send in a sheet with my extracurricular activities because it would have been less impressive than nothing at all. I only sent one recommendation. I'm pretty sure someone liked my essay :D
That's not a bad opening line! I would probably actually read most that essay, even if I were twelve essays in already.
