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Girl question - Page 2

Blogs > NickC
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KinosJourney2
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Sweden1811 Posts
October 19 2010 22:10 GMT
#21
Saying "GO FUCK YOURSELF" was inappropiate in my opinion, but putting her in her place was the way to go as she has no right to be a whiny bitch and blame her bad mood on you.
ocho wrote: EDIT: NEVERMIND, THIS THING HAS APM TECHNOLOGY OMG
Zapdos_Smithh
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Canada2620 Posts
October 19 2010 22:14 GMT
#22
On October 20 2010 06:58 Kennigit wrote:
In all seriousness, just put her in her place. Girls do this shit to test if you are a man or not.

You're welcome


You realize by you saying that, you are essentially saying that women are inferior to men in a relationship. I understand you have experience with women, but I think you are applying animal behaviour theory a little too strongly to real life.

Telling a girl, "GO FUCK YOURSELF", is innappropriate no matter the situation. The real issue I have with this is that the OP really has no concept of WHY the girl is angry. Maybe the girl was joking around, maybe the girl had a serious issue, maybe she really just was angry, but there was a reason for it, the the OP did not know the exact reason as to why, simply because he is looking at her behaviour, not understanding what she is thinking.

Simply put, imagine you were stressed out about some issue at a club. You tell your girlfriend your issue and it comes out as angry/harsh. She tells you to "GO FUCK YOURSELF" and walks off. Then she expects an apology from you because you caused her actions. If you think that's unrealistic then you obviously feel that women are inferior to men in a relationship.

The fact that you think that "just putting a girl in her place" is the "proper biological way to act", disgusts me. By saying that, you are essentially saying that ignoring a woman's issues or troubles is the proper way to act, especially with rude and harsh responses. I think you have read too many books or watched too many videos on how to get girls' attention or how to pick up girls, which is the complete opposite of how to treat a female, or anybody for that matter, in an actual relationship.
Biff The Understudy
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
France7888 Posts
October 19 2010 22:14 GMT
#23
On October 20 2010 06:50 Zapdos_Smithh wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 20 2010 06:47 NickC wrote:
i shouted "GO FUCK YOURSELF" and walked off


I think you need to go to anger management classes, and I am being absolutely serious.

Idra get out of this body!

Seriously, the whole thing is childish. When people are stupid let them be stupid. Including girls. And then arguing about who is right or wrong, I mean seriously.

Just let it go ffs. Do you really care that much about being right and people knowing that you are right? If you are really right, keep it for yourself instead of arguing with the girl like a ten years old.

Sorry to be harsh. Also, go fuck yourself, well, it's not a way to talk to girls. I'm old fashionned, I know, but still. And if you do, then you should actually apologize, independently of the wrong she did.
The fellow who is out to burn things up is the counterpart of the fool who thinks he can save the world. The world needs neither to be burned up nor to be saved. The world is, we are. Transients, if we buck it; here to stay if we accept it. ~H.Miller
Saechiis
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Netherlands4989 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-10-19 22:21:50
October 19 2010 22:16 GMT
#24
Make-up sex imo.


But seriously, grow up. It's your fault that you shouted "Go fuck yourself!" to her, learn to control yourself or drink less. Acting like your behaviour was ok because she started is really immature.

Also, David D'Angelo is retarded and his "advice" is in now way aimed at a healthy relationship. And I'm pretty sure that even he wouldn't advice you to give your girlfriend a verbal beatdown.

On October 20 2010 07:08 NickC wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 20 2010 07:04 micronesia wrote:
Being manly by going out of your way to seem manly doesn't seem very manly to me tbh...


most manly traits are stuff boys and men are never taught, have no natural intuition for, and often never find out for themselves. is it manly to force yourself to stand up straight and drive with your hips when you're walking, until it becomes a habit?


Again ... David D'Angelo ... retard. Don't listen to his crap because you're insecure. Shouting at people doesn't make you seem manly, if you were confident you wouldn't give a fuck what she thought.
I think esports is pretty nice.
Zapdos_Smithh
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Canada2620 Posts
October 19 2010 22:17 GMT
#25
On October 20 2010 07:14 Biff The Understudy wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 20 2010 06:50 Zapdos_Smithh wrote:
On October 20 2010 06:47 NickC wrote:
i shouted "GO FUCK YOURSELF" and walked off


I think you need to go to anger management classes, and I am being absolutely serious.

Idra get out of this body!

Seriously, the whole thing is childish. When people are stupid let them be stupid. Including girls. And then arguing about who is right or wrong, I mean seriously.

Just let it go ffs. Do you really care that much about being right and people knowing that you are right? If you are really right, keep it for yourself instead of arguing with the girl like a ten years old.

Sorry to be harsh. Also, go fuck yourself, well, it's not a way to talk to girls. I'm old fashionned, I know, but still. And if you do, then you should actually apologize, independently of the wrong she did.


Why am I arguing? Because it disturbs me that some guys out there treat women this way and justify it by talking to their buddies. If he just told the story and that's it, I would leave it alone and not even respond, but this guy is asking for advice. If people tell him that telling a girl to go fuck herself is appropriate, he will more than likely do it again which I am bothered by.
Osmoses
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Sweden5302 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-10-19 22:21:41
October 19 2010 22:19 GMT
#26
Mwell, I would have asked her how it was my fault first before deciding she was batshit. But I'm really irresponsible and have a terrible short term memory so I've basically just learned to assume it was probably me that fucked up.

edit: I for one totally understand you blowing up on her though. I mean seriously, you're drunk and someone gets right in your face, it's no surprise you'd get angry and lash out. People saying "it's wrong, no matter the circumstances" simply have 20/20 hindsight. Everyone has that, but those people feel the need to be superior about it. They suck.

Stop sucking.
Excuse me hun, but what is your name? Vivian? I woke up next to you naked and, uh, did we, um?
ReketSomething
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States6012 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-10-19 22:20:54
October 19 2010 22:19 GMT
#27
You should tell her that at that time you were really frustrated at your inability to push your relationship further. You should then confess to her telling her that you want to move beyond girl friend and into girlfriend. This will make her not angry and your relationship will deepen! It seems you like her very much and that this is the path to take.

It will work. Believe. + Show Spoiler +
in the heart
Jaedong :3
Seide
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States831 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-10-19 22:45:15
October 19 2010 22:19 GMT
#28
"but ive been listening to david d'angelo etc tapes lately" - Not a fan, but he does make a good point once in awhile.

So she got pissed off at you and you told her to fuck off. Unreasonable response to someone being unreasonable themselves.

Thats not being having character or being manly, thats responding to someone who is being a bit of a bitch by being a bigger bitch.

While she was in no position to talk shit to you. You could of done 2 things: yelled at her like a drunk moron, or make a logical point to her and tell her that what he is getting angry about is illogical, I mean honestly how hard is is to find your friends again, use a fucking text message, or its a club, you will prolly run into them eventually anyway.

Although she will prolly get pissed at either option, but one of them wont make you look like a raging jackass and will make it harder to for her to displace her being a bitch on your behavior.

Learn to handle situations logically, calmly and smoothly and things will fall into place on their own. But whatever, things were said, you were at club alcohol was involved, tense situation. If you both cant get over something minor like that....lol.

Just dont back down from your new stance, thats the 1st step to changing. Just in the future know you can handle it a bit better than telling her to go fuck herself.
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
nekuodah
Profile Joined August 2010
England2409 Posts
October 19 2010 22:21 GMT
#29
Should of pulled the glove out and demanded respect by showing dominance.
Kennigit *
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Canada19447 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-10-19 22:51:57
October 19 2010 22:22 GMT
#30
On October 20 2010 07:14 Zapdos_Smithh wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 20 2010 06:58 Kennigit wrote:
In all seriousness, just put her in her place. Girls do this shit to test if you are a man or not.

You're welcome


You realize by you saying that, you are essentially saying that women are inferior to men in a relationship. I understand you have experience with women, but I think you are applying animal behaviour theory a little too strongly to real life.

I don't think women are inferior. I think we have different strengths and weaknesses and comparing males/females is like comparing apples oranges. I think theres such a thing as equality in the work place, but theres no such thing as emotional equality between the sexes. Men and women have completely different emotional needs

I'm not a scientist, but i have a lot of alpha/business/commerce leader female friends who have routinely expressed their need to be told to stfu. I'm not joking of being sarcastic. They've told me flat out that "sometimes...i just need a man who will tell me 'no'".

Animal behavior is real life....how can i apply real life too really :o
Ation
Profile Joined July 2008
Finland102 Posts
October 19 2010 22:25 GMT
#31
I'm a person who 100% trusts in talking. I mean, if you can't talk to her you are f00ked and just can-not-talk-to-her. There are some serious artificial dividers between humankind and people tend to fit or not fit into groups.

Strongest man has the balls to forgive tbh. Need not go hostile on any situation unless you feel like being an asshole or "tough" for some reason. People also do stupid stuff when they lose their cool / feel threatened, and... you sir felt threatened by your friend

PS. It's impossible to have an honest conversation with someone who isn't ready to ACCEPT THE REALITY, so sometimes you're best off just selecting friends who you can be honest with.
Biff The Understudy
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
France7888 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-10-19 22:29:34
October 19 2010 22:28 GMT
#32
On October 20 2010 07:22 Kennigit wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 20 2010 07:14 Zapdos_Smithh wrote:
On October 20 2010 06:58 Kennigit wrote:
In all seriousness, just put her in her place. Girls do this shit to test if you are a man or not.

You're welcome


You realize by you saying that, you are essentially saying that women are inferior to men in a relationship. I understand you have experience with women, but I think you are applying animal behaviour theory a little too strongly to real life.

I don't think women are inferior. I think we have different strengths and weaknesses and comparing males/females is like comparing apples oranges. I think theres such a thing as equality in the work place, but theres no such thing as emotional equality between the sexes.

I'm not a scientist, but i have a lot of alpha/business/commerce leader female friends who have routinely expressed their need to be told to stfu. I'm not joking of being sarcastic. They've told me flat out that "sometimes...i just need a man who will tell me 'no'".

Animal behavior is real life....how can i apply real life too really :o

How do you explain then that for centuries until we lost all kind of politeness, the etiquette towards women have been to be extremely polite, careful, and caring?

I never shout on my girlfriend, and I when I get angry, I suck it up and I stay calm and courteous. That's what being manly is for me, and for her too. Being manly means being master of yourself and being able to take the situation in hand without losing nerves or even being unnecessarly rude or hurting.

Someone who start screaming when he is upset is not being very manly, imo.

I'm sorry, but it's still a bit of a machist cliché, your stuff
The fellow who is out to burn things up is the counterpart of the fool who thinks he can save the world. The world needs neither to be burned up nor to be saved. The world is, we are. Transients, if we buck it; here to stay if we accept it. ~H.Miller
hero33
Profile Joined December 2009
Canada122 Posts
October 19 2010 22:29 GMT
#33
sounds to me liek your both bi polar/
Anyone can become famous, Just set urself on fire
Zapdos_Smithh
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Canada2620 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-10-19 22:31:55
October 19 2010 22:30 GMT
#34
On October 20 2010 07:22 Kennigit wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 20 2010 07:14 Zapdos_Smithh wrote:
On October 20 2010 06:58 Kennigit wrote:
In all seriousness, just put her in her place. Girls do this shit to test if you are a man or not.

You're welcome


You realize by you saying that, you are essentially saying that women are inferior to men in a relationship. I understand you have experience with women, but I think you are applying animal behaviour theory a little too strongly to real life.

I don't think women are inferior. I think we have different strengths and weaknesses and comparing males/females is like comparing apples oranges. I think theres such a thing as equality in the work place, but theres no such thing as emotional equality between the sexes.

I'm not a scientist, but i have a lot of alpha/business/commerce leader female friends who have routinely expressed their need to be told to stfu. I'm not joking of being sarcastic. They've told me flat out that "sometimes...i just need a man who will tell me 'no'".

Animal behavior is real life....how can i apply real life too really :o


I agree to an EXTENT. Yes I do believe, in general, women are attracted to men who make the decisions, in fact I'd say that's pretty universally known. However in this situation I don't believe it was applicable.

On October 20 2010 07:25 Ation wrote:
I'm a person who 100% trusts in talking. I mean, if you can't talk to her you are f00ked and just can-not-talk-to-her. There are some serious artificial dividers between humankind and people tend to fit or not fit into groups.

Strongest man has the balls to forgive tbh. Need not go hostile on any situation unless you feel like being an asshole or "tough" for some reason. People also do stupid stuff when they lose their cool / feel threatened, and... you sir felt threatened by your friend

PS. It's impossible to have an honest conversation with someone who isn't ready to ACCEPT THE REALITY, so sometimes you're best off just selecting friends who you can be honest with.


Agree.

On October 20 2010 07:28 Biff The Understudy wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 20 2010 07:22 Kennigit wrote:
On October 20 2010 07:14 Zapdos_Smithh wrote:
On October 20 2010 06:58 Kennigit wrote:
In all seriousness, just put her in her place. Girls do this shit to test if you are a man or not.

You're welcome


You realize by you saying that, you are essentially saying that women are inferior to men in a relationship. I understand you have experience with women, but I think you are applying animal behaviour theory a little too strongly to real life.

I don't think women are inferior. I think we have different strengths and weaknesses and comparing males/females is like comparing apples oranges. I think theres such a thing as equality in the work place, but theres no such thing as emotional equality between the sexes.

I'm not a scientist, but i have a lot of alpha/business/commerce leader female friends who have routinely expressed their need to be told to stfu. I'm not joking of being sarcastic. They've told me flat out that "sometimes...i just need a man who will tell me 'no'".

Animal behavior is real life....how can i apply real life too really :o

I never shout on my girlfriend, and I when I get angry, I suck it up and I stay calm and courteous. That's what being manly is for me, and for her too. Being manly means being master of yourself and being able to take the situation in hand without losing nerves or even being unnecessarly rude or hurting.

Someone who start screaming when he is upset is not being very manly, imo.


Yes totally agree here as well.
Biff The Understudy
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
France7888 Posts
October 19 2010 22:31 GMT
#35
On October 20 2010 07:17 Zapdos_Smithh wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 20 2010 07:14 Biff The Understudy wrote:
On October 20 2010 06:50 Zapdos_Smithh wrote:
On October 20 2010 06:47 NickC wrote:
i shouted "GO FUCK YOURSELF" and walked off


I think you need to go to anger management classes, and I am being absolutely serious.

Idra get out of this body!

Seriously, the whole thing is childish. When people are stupid let them be stupid. Including girls. And then arguing about who is right or wrong, I mean seriously.

Just let it go ffs. Do you really care that much about being right and people knowing that you are right? If you are really right, keep it for yourself instead of arguing with the girl like a ten years old.

Sorry to be harsh. Also, go fuck yourself, well, it's not a way to talk to girls. I'm old fashionned, I know, but still. And if you do, then you should actually apologize, independently of the wrong she did.


Why am I arguing? Because it disturbs me that some guys out there treat women this way and justify it by talking to their buddies. If he just told the story and that's it, I would leave it alone and not even respond, but this guy is asking for advice. If people tell him that telling a girl to go fuck herself is appropriate, he will more than likely do it again which I am bothered by.

I was not taking to you, I quoted you because I wanted to add something with what you were saying. And make a joke/comment. The Idra stuff was for OP obviously.
The fellow who is out to burn things up is the counterpart of the fool who thinks he can save the world. The world needs neither to be burned up nor to be saved. The world is, we are. Transients, if we buck it; here to stay if we accept it. ~H.Miller
NickC
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
233 Posts
October 19 2010 22:32 GMT
#36
well actually it was david d'angelo who said to be more aware of your standards and to use words like "that is unacceptable to me". he doesnt endorse dumb things and you have to listen to his tapes to know what he's about otherwise you'll just assume the worst. i recommend Sexual Communication and On Being A Man....honestly this is the most interesting psychological material it keeps me glued for hours

i did of course ask her to explain how she is seeing things from her point of view. to her she was pretty much fine in how she behaved...she just doesnt see anything wrong with how she acts...honestly i dont think shes ever apologised or backed down over anything since i've known her...i even think maybe subconsciously i "overreacted" so harshly just to try to have an impact on her for once......
onmach
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
United States1241 Posts
October 19 2010 22:38 GMT
#37
It sounds like she is used to treating you like dirt and when you refused to apologize for nothing she got pissed off. You could have handled it better. That said, you aren't going to change her opinion of you overnight, if ever, if it is the case that you've been passive for a long time and she is the dominant person in the relationship.

As for people saying this is a man woman thing, you're wrong, this is a human thing. If your boss or parent (someone who has had undisputed authority over a long period of time) hassles you and you get mouthy, the same thing will happen. It doesn't matter whether they had justification or not.

Realize that she is not being mean on purpose. Don't be that angry guy that shouts at people. Apologize for shouting at her, but make it clear that you won't be taking anymore undeserved shit in the future.
Seide
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States831 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-10-19 22:46:19
October 19 2010 22:39 GMT
#38
On October 20 2010 07:32 NickC wrote:
well actually it was david d'angelo who said to be more aware of your standards and to use words like "that is unacceptable to me". he doesnt endorse dumb things and you have to listen to his tapes to know what he's about otherwise you'll just assume the worst. i recommend Sexual Communication and On Being A Man....honestly this is the most interesting psychological material it keeps me glued for hours

i did of course ask her to explain how she is seeing things from her point of view. to her she was pretty much fine in how she behaved...she just doesnt see anything wrong with how she acts...honestly i dont think shes ever apologised or backed down over anything since i've known her...i even think maybe subconsciously i "overreacted" so harshly just to try to have an impact on her for once......

Doesn't sound like that chick is good material man. I'd avoid someone like that like the plague. Those are the kind of girls whose skin I just try to get under, because its so easy.

You talk to her, thinking that eventually it will change but nah man, it won't change, not in the near future. I mean thats a core thing thats wrong. Sure it might be pretty good short term, but it is just going to get worse.

Don't back down or apologize for what you did. While what you did was unreasonable and you should probably handled it better, whatever, she was being unreasonable herself. People will be people, don't regret what you did, as it shows signs of weakness, just move on.

If that kind of minor thing can affect your friendship, it should really set off alarm bells in your head.
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
Kennigit *
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Canada19447 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-10-19 22:42:09
October 19 2010 22:41 GMT
#39
On October 20 2010 07:28 Biff The Understudy wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 20 2010 07:22 Kennigit wrote:
On October 20 2010 07:14 Zapdos_Smithh wrote:
On October 20 2010 06:58 Kennigit wrote:
In all seriousness, just put her in her place. Girls do this shit to test if you are a man or not.

You're welcome


You realize by you saying that, you are essentially saying that women are inferior to men in a relationship. I understand you have experience with women, but I think you are applying animal behaviour theory a little too strongly to real life.

I don't think women are inferior. I think we have different strengths and weaknesses and comparing males/females is like comparing apples oranges. I think theres such a thing as equality in the work place, but theres no such thing as emotional equality between the sexes.

I'm not a scientist, but i have a lot of alpha/business/commerce leader female friends who have routinely expressed their need to be told to stfu. I'm not joking of being sarcastic. They've told me flat out that "sometimes...i just need a man who will tell me 'no'".

Animal behavior is real life....how can i apply real life too really :o

How do you explain then that for centuries until we lost all kind of politeness, the etiquette towards women have been to be extremely polite, careful, and caring?
(

How do you explain the hundreds of thousands of years of evolution which revolved around females nursing and gathering while males hunted and protected the group. How do you explain this being true in almost all species of apes....600 years vs 100,000 years. Hmm.

Also to clarify. Im not saying you should knock your girl around or tell her to stfu....i'm saying you need to be a man and not a little bitch, which includes not letting your gf walk all over you.
NickC
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
233 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-10-19 22:44:13
October 19 2010 22:43 GMT
#40
onmach: mm thats really interesting. this isnt really a man women (love relationship) thing specifically (or exclusively) you're right. there are no love type feelings or jealousy feelings involved
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