went to a club with a girl (one of my best friends) and her friends.
everything was fine. at end of club i went to the bathroom while girl friend waited outside the club.
i came out from bathroom and my girl friend was all hissy, bitchy, accusing, demeaning and aggressive suddenly (in my eyes).
she said (as if talking to dirt) "i cant find the others now because of you".
i said "because of ME? its MY fault?"
she said (bitch voice) "well YES"
i shouted "GO FUCK YOURSELF" and walked off
now this girl has a unique temperment where if something doesnt go her way she is vocal about it. some would say its "picky" and appreciative behaviour, some would say its "bitchy" behaviour. i really admire her for it because its a powerful and commendable attitude, something that most pussy girl-less men would do well to aspire to.
but on some occaisions it gets directed at me and i feel like its nasty and inappropriate.
in the past i would always be a pussy and be like "oh im sorry for upsetting you" or i'd have to whine back at her like "well blah blah blah" with some dumb justification or riposte.
but ive been listening to david d'angelo etc tapes lately and being more aware of my pussyness and my own (lack of) pickyness and strength of character.
so when she started on me this time i just flipped and swore and walked off in a rage.
now it all happened in a split second and i was raging all the way home (how dare she talk to me like a dog).
so 2 days later i msg her online and shes like "arent you going to apologise??". i said (being totally calmed now) "no. that was an unacceptable way to talk to me."
after a little back and forth she said something like "you want me to lick your ass???" and i called her batshit crazy, and hence commences the arguement about who was wrong and who was right.
i told her that my REACTION was a reaction to HER shitty action. SHE made me angry and it was HER fault.
i took the position that if you talk to someone like dirt then they're going to get mad at you, and that she shouldnt have been aggressive and bitchy.
she simply responds with "why dont you practice what you preach" (since i had blown up and swore at her).
how the fuck can i respond to this? all i could say was "dont turn this round onto me". shouldnt she be thinking about her own behaviour rather than just blame blame blaming mine?
now, my conclusion
i done the right thing in the wrong way. i was a bit drunk and totally flipped out when i felt her repeat this demeaning attitude at me.
i maintain that i had a right to be angry even though im not sure if i can get her to clearly see this. i reacted totally on autopilot and wont apologise for swearing at her because that is how SHE made me feel with HER actions.
what i SHOULD have DONE was simply tell her "look, you cant talk to me that way, its totally unacceptable. blah blah lets go find your friends."
Flipping out on someone like that, even when deserved, isn't the correct response. I think you realize this. Being the mature one is difficult sometimes though...
edit: it helps to be able to laugh when someone is being ridiculous and accusing you of dumb shit... don't let it get to you... if you are getting mad it's a sign that you are offended even though you shouldn't be.
Correct way to respond to her bitchy attitude outside the club would have been:
"If you don´t like my company, why wait?"
Despite what d'angelo and "experts" say, you have to take into account that this is not a "pcik-up" for you. It´s a friend or someone you don´t want to lose.
Yeah in hindsight you can always say what you should've done is stay calm and just take it. But she was acting out of line and your reaction was completely warranted. If she's not going to apologize then she doesn't have the decency or humility to admit she made a mistake, something you don't have to deal with.
The temptation to rage back is very strong and tbh in your position i would of probably done the same, but even so sometimes its best to just ignore it and that way they end up looking even worse than if you had reacted. Rough situation just let it pass over
On October 20 2010 06:55 dudeman001 wrote: Yeah in hindsight you can always say what you should've done is stay calm and just take it. But she was acting out of line and your reaction was completely warranted. If she's not going to apologize then she doesn't have the decency or humility to admit she made a mistake, something you don't have to deal with.
lol are you kidding me? You seriously think yelling "GO FUCK YOURSELF" to a girl and walking off is warranted? What the fuck? Do you get outside much? No matter how angry someone may be that is NEVER a proper way to treat a girl, or any friend for that matter. That's almost disturbing to me that you think that sort of behaviour is appropriate.
standing up for myself in a ssocial situation isnt something ive really had to do before, its completely new to me. until i met this person i dont think ive ever gotten angry or had a personal social conflict (like shouting at a friend). im guess im going to have to find a balance of being "strong" without accidently being a tool.
You were 100% correct in your reaction. In fact a threatening back hand would have had an even more dramatic effect. In all seriousness, just put her in her place. Girls do this shit to test if you are a man or not.
A lot of girl questions can be solved by watching an animal planet documentary on gorillas or lions.
On October 20 2010 06:58 Kennigit wrote: You were 100% correct in your reaction. In fact a threatening back hand would have had an even more dramatic effect. In all seriousness, just put her in her place. Girls do this shit to test if you are a man or not.
A lot of girl questions can be solved by watching an animal planet documentary on gorillas or lions.
On October 20 2010 06:55 dudeman001 wrote: Yeah in hindsight you can always say what you should've done is stay calm and just take it. But she was acting out of line and your reaction was completely warranted. If she's not going to apologize then she doesn't have the decency or humility to admit she made a mistake, something you don't have to deal with.
lol are you kidding me? You seriously think yelling "GO FUCK YOURSELF" to a girl and walking off is warranted? What the fuck? Do you get outside much? No matter how angry someone may be that is NEVER a proper way to treat a girl, or any friend for that matter. That's almost disturbing to me that you think that sort of behaviour is appropriate.
honestly i have no idea. all i know is that i got that freakin angry and it was like an automatic reaction that was over in a split second and i was already walking away (fuming)
On October 20 2010 07:04 micronesia wrote: Being manly by going out of your way to seem manly doesn't seem very manly to me tbh...
most manly traits are stuff boys and men are never taught, have no natural intuition for, and often never find out for themselves. is it manly to force yourself to stand up straight and drive with your hips when you're walking, until it becomes a habit?
EPT
