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Falling into a
Sleepless dream.
Shadows by every turn.
Making aquaintances with
Shadows.
Every dark shadow
Provides a burn.
Shifts-- drifts.
OH!
A dim light to reveal
Opaque.
Fake.
Turns twists and
Full of bliss
You dare it was a
Dream?
With time,
With them,
It isn't thrown.
Cries, cries, cries!
Time bought.
A knickel dropped.
Was it all a dream?
This was a poem i made after i read a few poems and short stories from Mr. Poe. I had crazy nostalgia for short stories and poems, so i bought a book of his works.
im no expert on poems by any means, but his poems conceived these feelings that i had to write on paper. I'm by no means someone who incorporates feelings into his writing, but just by reading his poems i actually kind've understood how poems are created.
last i written a poem was in highschool.
Feel free to give pointers, criticism.
And provide some works of your own, or your favorites of others.
  
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Wow.
You're a poet and you don't even know it.
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Meh. This kind of poem is incredibly difficult to pull off. It's very tough to write a poem in this style and have it turn out well. I've heard that most famous abstract artists like Picasso and Pollack first learned to paint in the traditional style and then after they had a good understanding of that they branched out. I think the same thing applies to other forms of art. It's just super difficult to write this kind of poem, especially if you start here. It's like if you're new at Starcraft and you decide to borrow a friend's account and only play in diamond. Maybe you're incredibly gifted and will be able to play in diamond, but most likely you need to practice in silver or bronze first and work your way up. Still, just like any silver league player, if you work at it, you can rise through the ranks, and maybe if you're talented you'll rise pretty fast.
Here's a few of my favorite poems:
http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15403
http://www.bartleby.com/198/1.html
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4/5, interesting and thought-provoking poem but I can't quite grasp it as a whole.
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poems, everybody. this lad reckons himself a poet!
new car, caviar, four star daydream, i think i'll buy me a football team
absolute rubbish,
...get on with your work.
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A good poem finds....
a home in the internet....
writer finds much joy...
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poem of mine:
Adulthood
I wrote poetry as a child,
it was shallow and frivolous,
which was accepted, nay, celebrated.
But now that I'm old
and 17 and in calculus,
people think my poetry
shallow and frivolous.
i like stuff by WS Merwin, though some if it goes over my head. my favorite from him:
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/archive/poem.html?id=171868
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On October 03 2010 16:21 Revolt wrote:
This was a poem i made after i read a few poems and short stories from Mr. Poe. I had crazy nostalgia for short stories and poems, so i bought a book of his works.
im no expert on poems by any means, but his poems conceived these feelings that i had to write on paper. I'm by no means someone who incorporates feelings into his writing, but just by reading his poems i actually kind've understood how poems are created.
What separates poetry from prose is that (more often than not) prose is meant to elucidate, explain, and extrapolate, while poetry doesn't necessarily have to do those things; prose goes from general to specific while poetry goes from specific to general. Also, poetry works a lot with the sounds of language, whereas prose can often be obfuscating and dense in its efforts to explicate something.
Which is to say you have the right idea: poetry operates on an emotional level - Faulkner said the best age for poets would be the early 20s, because that's when you have all your energy and emotion and you just want to yell about it; poetry and music aren't precisely demarcated - but even poets with a bad opinion of poetry (e.g. Frank O'Hara, one of my favourites) will be extremely well-acquainted with the poetry written previously to him or her. It is from that anxiety that aspiring poets can create something very resonant, sonorous, and beautiful.
Most immediately your poem strikes me as just not being very familiar with the intricacies of the English language - what there is in the English language that differentiates it from others, how we use these, and why would do this. Regarding Poe (who I loved as a child as well), he pays particular attention to the sounds of the English language and exploits them to create a mood; he writes sonnets, yeah, and plays games within them (e.g. "Valentine," essentially an acrostic sonnet), but "Annabel Lee" or "The Raven" are winding, incredibly rhythmic poems of varying and balances sounds (trochees, iambs, anapests, spondees, etc.), with varying stanza and line lengths. "Annabel Lee" varies long lines with short to create ballad verses while "The Raven" is attentively, densely structured (Stephane Mallarme translated "The Raven" into French, but because French is not an accented language like English, and because the English standard iambic pentameter is so different from the French standard Alexandrine line, Mallarme just rendered it in plain prose).
That is not to say that every poet sits down and consciously writes entire poems in iambs or whatever (although Poe was very attentive towards rhythm, line length, and sound, IIRC), but that after a certain point it becomes natural. And your poem lacks these things, more or less betraying that you haven't spent much time with poetry.
For recommendations, I dunno, man. You just gotta start buying books and reading. Dylan Thomas, Allen Ginsberg, Charles Baudelaire, and William Carlos Williams are all good starting points for anyone interested, I think. (Although I kinda hate Ginsburg, I still recommend him.)
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A few tips if you're serious about creating powerful poetry:
Above all, read. Read your work. Read the work of others. Read everything aloud at least once, to feel the words on your tongue, to feel the rhythm and meter with your body. Reread everything you've read. Read into what you've read.
It's just like studying replays in Starcraft. The more you examine and reexamine art with a critical eye, the more you will see.
Join or at least investigate a community dedicated to poetry. Ones I've seen have tended to be mature compared to gaming communities, but the fact remains that you will need to put your ego on the line to take advantage of criticism.
It's just like joining a clan in Starcraft. To improve, players must thrive on losing to and learning from those around them.
Use imagery. People are far more receptive of the concrete, even or especially when it represents the abstract. I've found that even the most apparently cryptic poetry is still abundant with imagery, albeit baffling imagery. When you deal exclusively with the abstract, with words that do not evoke images, you create a work similarly vague and reliant on context... a context that is not there.
Finally, love. Love one thing, something, or everything about the universe, even if you love the chimerical. Even the fiercest hate is borne from the absence of what the hater would love. Passion bears the seeds of art, so you absolutely must have that energy in order to be prolific. Specifically, a love for words will help since it's only natural to want to learn as much as possible about what we love.
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EPT
