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So I've been thinking about this, since
1.) I think girls are ridiculously hot, in general. But I like asians, mostly.
2.) I have very little idea of how to even approach or talk to girls. I guess I have more than a few female friends... but what tends to happen is that at some point I realize that she is pretty smoking hot, and things get terribly awkward from there. I have not found any successful segue out of the so-called "friend-zone."
3.) Among the few relationships I've had, none have panned out... mainly due to my complete social inadequacy. I mean, I can't even produce a successful hug without fumbling around to try to avoid squishing her breasts while figuring out whether to put both my hands on her back or just one over the other. I don't even want to think about kisses... I end up saying "wait!" while I pull out flavored chapstick and mouthwash to make sure I'm minty fresh. And when the 30 seconds rinse and spit are done, so is that romantic moment.
So... I've decided to approach this problem from a very systematic perspective: I want to create an algorithm (in the form of a mental checklist) to help me succeed in future romantic encounters with females.
For clarification:
This is not an issue of "game." This is an issue of protocol.
The difference is I'm not so much asking:
What is the response that will get me laid?
but rather...
What is the "socially acceptable" response?
While many people are gifted with an instinct for social situations, I must, instead, rely on my stunning intellect to keep me afloat. Since, of course, I do not have a response for many situations the awkward moments in my life are many and in this one extremely important part of my life (that is, my interaction with the opposite sex) I would like to be able to dramatically reduce the quantity and degree of that awkwardness.
Below, I will include a series of condition/actions that I think are correct (read: socially acceptable yet compatible with my strange personality) ways to handle certain situations. (feel free to contribute or to correct me if you think I'm horribly misguided)
New Sensations!
Condition: I just met the girl.
Response: Say "Hi!"
Condition: Girl responds to "Hi!" with a friendly demeanor.
Response: Say "You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met. Can I have your phone number?"
Condition: Girl responds to "Hi!" with a hostile demeanor.
Response: Break eye contact, look down and pretend it wasn't me who said "Hi!"
Condition: Girl responds to "Hi!" with an undecided demeanor.
Response: Walk up close and say, "there's something in your ear!" Then pull a business card out of thin air and hand it to her.
Condition: Girl responds by turning toward you and revealing her face is horribly disfigured/deformed.
Response: Stare O_O Then make a funny face of my own.
.
.
.
Escape from the dreaded friendzone!
Condition: I just realized my friend is smoking hot.
Response: Call her with a cheesy pickup-line:
"I was getting a little bored of working out my rock hard abs, and I thought it might be a good idea to do some cardio. Let's go swimming in my jacuzzi. Naked."
or
"So I was looking over your paper, and it looked pretty flawless until I realized you were single. Let's fix that error ASAP!"
(These are just some that I'm dying to try)
Condition: She laughs so hard at the pickup line she starts snorting and I realized why I never considered her before.
Response: Very quickly say "hahaha just kidding" and hang up.
Condition: After a brief chuckle she pauses and asks "Are you serious?"
Response: ????
Condition: After a brief awkward silence she says "uhhh what?"
Response: Hang up and look down at the floor in abject failure.
.
.
.
Rounding the bases!
Condition: I have not seen this beautiful girl in a long time and she suddenly catches my eye in the doorway.
Response: Prepare for a hug by gauging the angle formed by my shoulders and hers to the ground.
Condition: She is tall, so I must angle upwards.
Response: Hook arms upward in hopes of latching onto shoulders to avoid falling down.
Condition: She is roughly my height.
Response: ??? (where do the arms go?)
Condition: She is shorter, so I must angle downwards.
Response: Hook my arms around her mid-back being sure not to put too much pressure.
Condition: The hug ends up not resulting in injury. A tender moment ensues.
Response: ???
Anyway, that's pretty much all I know. Plz help T_T
 
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Forget all you know, its not about some phrases you throw at girls and then their pants come off.
If you have to see it as a sience, you gotta treat every girl differently. but yeah if you're insecure work on that not on "hey you are the most beuatiful girl i've ever seen" ;D
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This reminds me of stuff I used to read online as a kid, people posting about their nights out or improving their game, all full of lols. You're alright dude, it's gonna work itself out. You can't have a standard response to a situation because girls are different. Just be your best self (take care of school/family/your body) and don't worry too much about the girls. Then when you meet that tall swedish blonde that wants to go for a walk, you can just say: "yeeeeah" and enjoy it 
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Realistically, you will not have a 100% success rate with girls. Just be confident, and if you get rejected, then deal with it
Put aside your awkwardness, and remind yourself that you are AWESOME and you can get the girl! Confidence goes a long way with women 
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If you ask enough girls at least one of them will say yes. Don't be too particular if your goal is just girls.
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I can't understand why any girl would like pickup lines lol there so corny and stupid ahah some are alright I suppose but most are just sick and disturbing
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Your situation is eerily similar to mine actually...I swear I had to double check to make sure I didn't post this. I too have extreme difficulties moving out of the friends zone and into that "other" zone. See, I don't even know what it's called! (I've only been there once in high school)
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Maybe our shared love for bananas is genetic. And maybe that gene is on the same chromosone as the one coding for social cluelessness D=
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On July 27 2010 17:28 CorpulentBanana wrote:
Your situation is eerily similar to mine actually...I swear I had to double check to make sure I didn't post this. I too have extreme difficulties moving out of the friends zone and into that "other" zone. See, I don't even know what it's called! (I've only been there once in high school)
realistically you shouldnt start out in the friend zone most of the time, though you would think you're in this zone based on what has happened. It just takes her a bit to show you what zone you're really in.
Anyway there should be girls you want to just be friends with and girls you want to get with, you should never be in a friend zone with a girl you want to get with, that or you're doing it wrong.
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On July 27 2010 17:39 Divinek wrote:Show nested quote +On July 27 2010 17:28 CorpulentBanana wrote:
Your situation is eerily similar to mine actually...I swear I had to double check to make sure I didn't post this. I too have extreme difficulties moving out of the friends zone and into that "other" zone. See, I don't even know what it's called! (I've only been there once in high school) realistically you shouldnt start out in the friend zone most of the time, though you would think you're in this zone based on what has happened. It just takes her a bit to show you what zone you're really in. Anyway there should be girls you want to just be friends with and girls you want to get with, you should never be in a friend zone with a girl you want to get with, that or you're doing it wrong.
I think I'm doing it wrong. How do I get so I can say I'm doin it rite?
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Honestly.. it kinda sounds like you are thinking too much about this. Just be yourself and have fun. Trying to map things out like this leads to fake responses that aren't really you and the girl ends up liking someone that isn't who you are.
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On July 27 2010 18:05 Crimson wrote:
Honestly.. it kinda sounds like you are thinking too much about this. Just be yourself and have fun. Trying to map things out like this leads to fake responses that aren't really you and the girl ends up liking someone that isn't who you are.
Only a certain part of our personalities is genetic. I like to think that through this thread I can improve that other part! <3
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love1another's sig
""I'm learning more and more that TL isn't the place to go for advice outside of anything you need in college. It's like you guys just make up your own fantasy world shit and post it as if you've done it." - Chill"
Anyone else spotting inconsistencies?
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My personality tends to have gaping inconsistencies. Like I'm super flexible when it comes to food, cuz all food is good. But when it comes to life's important things like RTS or beautiful girls, I'm very stubborn. Maybe the proper word is picky.
No definitely not, I'm pretty flexible when it comes to girls.
And learning how to talk to (female) people I like is definitely something I need to use for college!
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I can't even produce a successful hug without fumbling around to try to avoid squishing her breasts while figuring out whether to put both my hands on her back or just one over the other.
If a girl is worried about getting her breast squished she would not give you a hug in the first place. I think you're more worried about your private space getting invaded not hers, so relax and gently squish the boobies. xD Just saying... ^^
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On July 27 2010 18:28 love1another wrote:Show nested quote +On July 27 2010 18:05 Crimson wrote:
Honestly.. it kinda sounds like you are thinking too much about this. Just be yourself and have fun. Trying to map things out like this leads to fake responses that aren't really you and the girl ends up liking someone that isn't who you are. Only a certain part of our personalities is genetic. I like to think that through this thread I can improve that other part! <3
Which part are you trying to improve/change? The socially awkward part (no offense, sounds like what you are talking about. If I misread thread, my bad)? I used to be a deathly shy kid who would never imagine ever talking to anyone, and never a girl. What really helped get me over that was actually a really good friend of mine, who I now am dating and have been for 3 years. Being "friend zoned" is not always the worst thing to happen. My case might be an exception, but try to be friends first before trying to make a relationship.
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Why try to avoid squishing the breasts?
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Hong Kong20321 Posts
On July 27 2010 18:54 Altair wrote:Show nested quote +I can't even produce a successful hug without fumbling around to try to avoid squishing her breasts while figuring out whether to put both my hands on her back or just one over the other. If a girl is worried about getting her breast squished she would not give you a hug in the first place. I think you're more worried about your private space getting invaded not hers, so relax and gently squish the boobies. xD Just saying... ^^
LOL WTF SCARED OF SQUISHING HER BREASTS HAHaha
wtf man
just relax loooooooooool
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EPT
