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This transition from Middle School, to my High school Sophomore, than finally in my High School Senior has made me realize something about specific people who decide to do something so provocative and so mind-numbing for me.
Fake:
Definition (Credits to Dictionary.com)
to conceal the defects of or make appear more attractive, interesting, valuable, etc., usually in order to deceive: The story was faked a bit to make it more sensational.
Obviously, as a way to cope with society, people have gone into this string of hiding their most embarrassing attributes, while shining out their most best (or maybe the attributes that society heavily focuses on.)
This follows into a sort of train into people creating a whole new image about themselves, showing a new aspect that they've completely made up, and is not genuine behavior from their own hearts.
All because they want to fit in society better.
Now the question folks is: Is it morally justified?
Is it okay to abandon your natural growth in society and create a whole new face of your background in order to have an advantage or a stronger social status?
(IRL Examples: My friend, Jackson (false name for the sake of identity), likes to hang out with me during third block, but when we walk to another class, another person would rise up to our little walk circle. He consistently gives the other attention, because of his social status is seemed to be "higher" than mine (judged on his own perspective). He would to this to the point until that I feel like I am a stranger in their conversation. It's as if they just threw me away as trash.)
Thats what these people do. Trash you when somebody "better" than you pops up in their face. If there is nobody "better", than they will just stick with you because of your status being "higher" than anybody else in that present environment.
You can catch them anywhere. Schools, Churches, Bars.
What should be the blame for this?
Is it society's impact on their own lives into telling them how they should live? (Like this?)
Or is it their own decision to be a self-indulgent bastard into ditching others for their own benefit?
It goes either way, and thats what I'm hoping would be the debate for this blog.
Whats the solution?
One: "Climbing" the social status of their own environment, and then having them realize about the strong status behind yourself and result into them wanting to hang out with you//etc.
(Notice how illegitimate this solution feels like. Do you really want to have "friends" that hang out with you just for the sake of their own social status? Thats like saying I want to hang out with you not because you're unique in your own personality, because I want to use you to have myself be in a better position.)
Second: Just screw it, that friend doesn't deserve you. There are plenty of people in this world that don't live that way.
Thats really all the solutions I have to offer, or can think of sensibly.
Why am I posting this blog to you, Teamliquid?
Because I just feel the need to rant about these stupid things, and hope that if I was to meet anyone of you, that this behavior will be non-existant in the fun that we would probably have.
:Edited Out: Attracted too many trolls.
  
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I feel ya my nigga homies up my high school be fake too.
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yo dawg, im not fake sup.
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im keepin it real too 1/5
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Interesting, I didn't have any problems with this at all in high school.
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ahh fake people in high school.. such a big deal when its happening not such a big deal in real life...
keep it real bro cause we all are..
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I live in the hood, ghetto Brooklyn NY FO LIFE!
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I don't understand this blog, what do you want people to do? What is "keeping it real" ? Should you not "optimize" all your options so to speak?
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United States10774 Posts
to be honest maybe your friend likes the other person more than you. if he's an actual friend i don't see why you're even bothered by the fact he gives the other guy more attention. who cares? i don't necessarily perceive why that's "fake." in my opinion, there is nothing wrong with climbing the social ladder as long as you are NOT making things up about yourself and damaging others on the way. by keeping it real, what exactly do you mean? i don't really understand what it means to "abandon your natural growth." yes - deceiving others to raise yourself is not good. but there's nothing wrong about choosing to hide your shameful aspects and bringing out the best.
edit: oops, big typo.
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On July 24 2010 16:37 v[1.8]c wrote:
I don't understand this blog, what do you want people to do? What is "keeping it real" ? Should you not "optimize" all your options so to speak?
Keeping it real was part of the joke that I was giving you guys, obviously taking it to the wrong terms. Lame.
What do you mean, optimize all your options so to speak. I said that those were the opinions that I had on this matter.
What I wanted for people to do was to debate whether having this type of life-style of being "fake" was justified or not.
On July 24 2010 16:58 OneOther wrote:
to be honest maybe your friend likes the other person more than you. if he's an actual friend i don't see why you're even bothered by the fact he gives the other guy more attention. who cares? i don't necessarily perceive why that's "fake." in my opinion, there is nothing wrong with climbing the social ladder as long as you are making things up about yourself and damaging others on the way. by keeping it real, what exactly do you mean? i don't really understand what it means to "abandon your natural growth." yes - deceiving others to raise yourself is not good. but there's nothing wrong about choosing to hide your shameful aspects and bringing out the best.
It was an example that I bought to you to your attention of what I was trying to define. That story alone was not the main focus of my blog.
By the way, the friend gives the other guy more attention to the point of which I am no longer part of any conversation they have. As if they just threw me away. :-/
I seem to be hitting two different types of arguments here, sorry for that, let me make myself more clear.
Is living a life-style of being "fake" just for the sake of building your own social status, for the sakes of friendships with other people, justified?
:edit:
Hopefully this will turn out to be an interesting discussion. Sorry I didn't clear up some things for you guys. Gotta sleep for tonight (Will check up tomorrow)
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Ya gotta keep it real like me and B-real.
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I hate phonies. It is like "The Great Gatsby". I'd go with the second option because being around phonies is no way to make friends. Usually they just introduce you to more phonies.
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I feel like you're reading way too much into this, as high school can be a very emotional time. You'll get to a point where you really don't care, and you're not nearly as close with all the friends you had in high school. It's really hard to believe now, and it sucks that it happens at all, but it's really for the best and part of growing up. That being said, in relation to my advice, I would say fuck that dude. I wouldn't be an ass to him, I wouldn't change anything I was doing at all, but I just would try to care a lot less in general.
You can also sort of "raise yourself up" or "peacock" and just act like you're the fucking man, because you should think that you're the best person in the world anyways. You always have to look out for yourself  What are you doing talking to a dude in 3rd period anyways? You should be talkin' to girls! Who cares if they don't want to talk to you? Make them want to by bustin' their chops and puttin' them in their place (they should be cooking for you, lol) but let them know you're kidding.
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I try and be myself in high school. THis is definitely easier because I go to a small liberal private school but I try and take pride in things I enjoy and am good at. I wear my tl shirt to school and fuck im proud of it. Yea I get some shit for it but imo its better than wearing a shirt with skulls and guns on it. I think ppl hide themselves in high school because they aren't proud of who they are. When I see kids like that I try and think of myself well. If someone fuckin tries to stare me down i look at them right in the eye and just get a what the fuck are you looking at face on.....works pretty well. Just maintain confidence in yourself and if someone challenges you on it don't back down, its worth the beating or w/e you might get for it.
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It's high school. High schoolers are whiny, self-absorbed, self-conscious know-it-alls. It's the time in most people's lives when they go through that burning desire for social acceptance. This shouldn't be a surprise to you.
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Social Status? Just be awesome and people will want to hang out with you.
Popularity doesn't matter at all.
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It's not just in school, most people do this in the whole society consciously or subconsciously. You try to put yourself in a better light at job interviews, you exaggerate or try to look good in front of a girl, you boast to your friends, internet buddies. The reason why people feel embarrassed or don't want to be associated with their family in front of their 'cool' friends is because they have one personality to please the parents at home, and another one to please their friends. It's disgusting.
As adults, we still carry this kind of behaviour, we become disconnected as human beings because our real self is not attached to the one we display in front of people.
There's a good psychology example to illustrate this.
![[image loading]](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2c/Johari_Window.PNG)
Unfortunately this is how human beings work, and to be able to live in society you have to accept it and deceive other people yourself. There is no 'real', 'honest' friendship or social interaction. It's all a lie.
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Shauni, I understand that everybody is a little "fake" inside, but the people who gladly accept it and take advantage of that sort of behavior just seems to just fall in their little hole of trying to complete the image that they're trying to project to others. In deem time they will probably fall into their own little loop and will have to admit somethings that they have done just to please the crowd.
But yes, I agree that everybody is somewhat "fake", but I see that there are people who don't agree with that kind of behavior and try to shun it from their own personality. I don't think we should just simply accept it and deceive other people.
:edit:
Seems to me that being fake really is only for the moment, and the despicable thing about it is that people really won't care about it in the future, yet they had the fun for that moment of admiration, advantages, and such.
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Sorry man, but that guys not "being fake" or anything. He either likes hanging out with the new person more or thinks you're not cool. It's highschool, you don't need friends like that.
And having two "personas" isn't a bad thing, many people who are crazy motherfuckers when chilling with friends have to calm down for work/family. I'm a pretty calm guy so I don't have this provlem but it's not a bad thing.
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I was walkin' through the city streets, and a man walks up to me and hands me the latest energy drink. Run faster, jump higher. Man, I'm not gonna let you poison me. I threw it on the ground. You must think I'm a joke. I ain't gonna be a part of this system.
...that's the attitude I take towards PHONIES.
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On July 24 2010 16:59 Folca wrote:
Is living a life-style of being "fake" just for the sake of building your own social status, for the sakes of friendships with other people, justified?
If you have to be fake to keep the friendship with other people, why would you want to keep it? I say find other friends that like the real you. Like previous posters said, high school is an emotional time, everyone's young and of course wants to be accepted, some people take greater measures than others to accomplish this. I don't think being "fake" to build a social status or friendships is justified, but social status is important to some people.
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Interesting blog; during high school years I made friends with many socially awkward people that weren't always "fitting in" and I took pride in that. Yet sometimes even a guy like that can show up at a party and since I was friends with many "normal" kids I would sometimes joke around and participate in mocking that "awkward" kid if it was funny enough. Obviously the "awkward" kid would think of me as a traitor, much like the OP. But I really wasn't, I did like him just as much as before.
Ironically same thing happened to me, one time this one guy I used to hang out with a lot and talk the deep talk ended up playing a bad prank on me along with everyone else, at the time I felt like he took a shit all over my soul. Imagine this, he called me last year absolutely out of nowhere, after not talking to me once for 5-6 years and said he was sorry for what he did back then. I didn't even remember that incident until he said he was sorry, I have no idea what made him call me. Regrets?
Humans are social creatures and sometimes their surroundings make their worst come out of them. Take it easy, look for a better friend but don't just ditch the one you have.
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EPT
