EPT
And then she was there.
She, her brother, and her mom sat in their grandmother's house making small talk that was thankfully so much easier because of the crazy dog her grandmother owned. As the dog kept barking sporadically, her eyes kept flicking to the clock at the top right, wondering when he would arrive.
With nothing left to talk about, her mother began to try bribing the dog with treats to make it calm down. The girl's mind was elsewhere - she wondered if it would be awkward; she couldn't remember the last time her family had gotten together, all four of them.
And then with a bustle, the front door opened and he entered the apartment. Everyone immediately stood up to greet the man.
The man - this man... who was he? His face, his posture, his clothes - these were all the same but his hair... it was unnaturally black and longer than she remembered it had ever been. She felt like she was looking at a picture of her father from the 80's. She didn't like it at all. She vaguely remembered thinking he was handsome when looking at his younger pictures, but he wasn't young anymore. Far from it - he was now well over 50. Why, oh why was his hair so damn black? Where was her father with short, brown hair speckled with grey and white? Hair that was appropriate for someone his age?
He stepped over to her and opened his arms for a hug. She hesitantly gave in before frowning again - he smelled different. His cologne now seemed harsher, rougher on the nose.
She felt like she was looking at a man who was trying to look a lot younger than he was.
She quickly pushed out the question of why he would go to such lengths to disguise his age as the answers that came to thought made her feel nauseous.
The 5 of them proceeded to go out for dinner. It was an expensive meal - she focused all her attention on wrapping the perfectly seared meat with lettuce, putting just the right amount of rice in, then folding it just enough so that it would pop into her mouth. If she just enjoyed the food, maybe the deeper wrinkles on his face wouldn't stand out so much.
The meal proceeded with superficiality spread taut across every topic. At one point she stared down at her crossed legs.
This was not the kind of dinner she had imagined when she thought about seeing him again.
Afterward, she, her mom, and her brother said goodbye to their grandmother and filed into her dad's car so that he could drop them off at the bus stop. As the trees whizzed by, all she could think was that this could likely be the last time the four of them would be in one car, in the same vicinity to see each other, to be together.
The last time they would look like a real family.
As she got on the bus and looked out the window, she looked at the man who waved at her. She smiled faintly and gave a half-hearted shake back before closing her eyes. She could feel a hot sensation in her eyes and she took a deep breath to swallow the growing stone in her throat.
She had been wrong. This change, this rift - it had occurred with formalities. It had even been gift wrapped, tied with a fancy ribbon in the shape of a pricy meal of korean barbecue. She had so much looked forward to seeing him again, had come to see him today with so much expectations and high hopes, not realizing that it was not to say hello, but goodbye.
Goodbye...
At least you got to see him for who he is, letting go of what you imagined or held onto all this time? Goodbyes aren't always bad... *hugs*
