since we moved to our new house 1 yr ago ive been fighting against those strange creatures
our first encounter happened when i was playing warcraft3 one of the first Arthas missions
a strange noise in my ceiling, i called my father, my mother and my sister and i was like:
-"wth who the hell is in my house"
everybody could check it was not a lie
the noises happened lotsa times
since then , whenever i enter in my bedroom, and i start listening epik high, led zeppelin, or when i start reading a book, they start making noises, like walking in my ceiling
also i believe they are stealing my bandwidth i found wires and cables that didnt use to exist before in the guest bedroom,
my downloads are pretty laggy too and i believe they are watching me masturbate or streaming porn
the only physical met i believe we had was actly an illusion caused by too much grape juice i was sleeping and then i woke up in the middle of the night i could see that small person standing between my thighs , i took the tv control and then BANG! in his head too bad it was a nocturne erection, my dick did hurt for 1 week
FUCK, u no be only one that see gnome the night and hear the noise for 3 year on roof. i now have the yearas hearin noise from upside and neighbor call cop on me but no they believe the gnome story so righ now i type this from madhouse.
yestreday i go resromm and bad stomach so i my pants take away and sit on toilet, but it was so darck i no could see and light too faraway. i feel something hairy up crack of my butt but no the see of anything, so i hear noise AGAIOIN and nurse ask if whats ok going on. i tell her ibusy becuase no light so hard more than dick to shit w/o this ilumiknation.
then after too pain of shit big poopoo i hear noise AGAINm abnd nurse break door but dick is still hanging so i drop floor screaming becuas i neverl ike anyone see me naked.
they spoon me taser and take me to hole where they keep john wayne gacy.
today they say i's the onluy one in madhouse that no given the sniwne flu shot so im be taken in two hour to big white room for shot. they say john wayne die yesterday with me on cell hole becuase of swine flu and find little axe on head.s o nobody close to me now fo protrectrion.
ok, now me go, i rather shit gnomes than get swine flu.
On November 19 2009 23:51 EsX_Raptor wrote: FUCK, u no be only one that see gnome the night and hear the noise for 3 year on roof. i now have the yearas hearin noise from upside and neighbor call cop on me but no they believe the gnome story so righ now i type this from madhouse.
yestreday i go resromm and bad stomach so i my pants take away and sit on toilet, but it was so darck i no could see and light too faraway. i feel something hairy up crack of my butt but no the see of anything, so i hear noise AGAIOIN and nurse ask if whats ok going on. i tell her ibusy becuase no light so hard more than dick to shit w/o this ilumiknation.
then after too pain of shit big poopoo i hear noise AGAINm abnd nurse break door but dick is still hanging so i drop floor screaming becuas i neverl ike anyone see me naked.
they spoon me taser and take me to hole where they keep john wayne gacy.
today they say i's the onluy one in madhouse that no given the sniwne flu shot so im be taken in two hour to big white room for shot. they say john wayne die yesterday with me on cell hole becuase of swine flu and find little axe on head.s o nobody close to me now fo protrectrion.
ok, now me go, i rather shit gnomes than get swine flu.
U 2 being harassed?
i see udersntand that the gnomes aer staeling both our bandwitdh and sanity
On November 19 2009 23:51 EsX_Raptor wrote: yestreday i go resromm and bad stomach so i my pants take away and sit on toilet, but it was so darck i no could see and light too faraway. i feel something hairy up crack of my butt but no the see of anything, so i hear noise AGAIOIN and nurse ask if whats ok going on. i tell her ibusy becuase no light so hard more than dick to shit w/o this ilumiknation.
It was probably just your dick hanging all the way down into the water, touching the bowl and then wrapping back up towards your ass.
I feel your pain. I dealt with a gnome infestation in a previous house, the trick is to, every morning when you awake, do 50 naked jumping jacks. Generally this will either scare them away, or arouse them to the point where they'll come out in the open. The only problem with this specific method is that you have no warning either way, and gnome rape is a seriously unpredictable way to be woken up at 2:00 in the morning.
On November 20 2009 00:45 ghermination wrote: I feel your pain. I dealt with a gnome infestation in a previous house, the trick is to, every morning when you awake, do 50 naked jumping jacks. Generally this will either scare them away, or arouse them to the point where they'll come out in the open. The only problem with this specific method is that you have no warning either way, and gnome rape is a seriously unpredictable way to be woken up at 2:00 in the morning.
On November 19 2009 23:51 EsX_Raptor wrote: FUCK, u no be only one that see gnome the night and hear the noise for 3 year on roof. i now have the yearas hearin noise from upside and neighbor call cop on me but no they believe the gnome story so righ now i type this from madhouse.
yestreday i go resromm and bad stomach so i my pants take away and sit on toilet, but it was so darck i no could see and light too faraway. i feel something hairy up crack of my butt but no the see of anything, so i hear noise AGAIOIN and nurse ask if whats ok going on. i tell her ibusy becuase no light so hard more than dick to shit w/o this ilumiknation.
then after too pain of shit big poopoo i hear noise AGAINm abnd nurse break door but dick is still hanging so i drop floor screaming becuas i neverl ike anyone see me naked.
they spoon me taser and take me to hole where they keep john wayne gacy.
today they say i's the onluy one in madhouse that no given the sniwne flu shot so im be taken in two hour to big white room for shot. they say john wayne die yesterday with me on cell hole becuase of swine flu and find little axe on head.s o nobody close to me now fo protrectrion.
ok, now me go, i rather shit gnomes than get swine flu.
Oh, believe me, I know all about those goddamn gnomes. I've been hunting them for years. The only way to kill them is a harpoon coated in laxatives. I see them every day, staring through my window with their beady little eyes. Waiting. Watching. I'll tell you all about gnomes, in the hopes that one day you may find the courage to wage war like no man ever has.
Gnomes were created in 420 AD by the Chinese. Chinese were a pretty advanced people, and they knew quite a bit of dark magic. You know, Chaos Gods and all that. Well, one day a crazy chinaman by the name of Ping Mang decided that he wanted to rule the world, but he needed more than just the backs of a million chinamen. He needed a race of super powerful, extremely intelligent and above all incredibly resilient demons that could swim across the world's oceans, scale the tallest mountains, and survive in any climate without food or water. By making a pact with the Dark Gods, he was able to give life to a seed of absolute pure evil - the first hamburger ever created by mankind, which he had previously bargained a part of his soul with the Chaos Gods to drag back in time.
Unfortunately for Ping Mang, the hamburger was such a potent source of evil energy that the Gnomes created from the infinite darkness of its abysmal depths were far too chaotic for him to control. The Chaos Gods laughed as the gnomes ran rampant immediately upon their creation. They reproduced like locust, they knew no pain or fear, and they quickly ran wild in China. Ping Mang was consumed by the gnomes for his life force and evil energy, and as no one knew of his devious plans, gnomes remained nothing but myths and mystery. Except for the fact that they were very real.
To this day, gnomes have infested the world and influenced its politics and events for their own deeds. Gnomes are users of dark magic themselves, and can hide themselves and their homes, which are fifty-story tall black spires that harness the energy of lightning, when they want to. But they like to toy with people. I mean, who's going to believe a guy who says that gnomes are watching him masturbate? No one! And the gnomes know that. They laugh in the shadows as you try to explain yourself to the authorities. And they come back. Every single night.
You must stand up to the gnomes. I know it seems impossible, as they are so numerous and we are so few, but you must fight. One day, when the sun falls into the ocean and the sky erupts in flame and judgment descends upon us, we will make the gnomes pay. I was going to say we will bury their children in graves of garlic and burn their women on crosses of ivory, but then I remembered that gnomes can reproduce by just eating stars. We'll have to suck them all into a black hole or something.
the only physical met i believe we had was actly an illusion caused by too much grape juice i was sleeping and then i woke up in the middle of the night i could see that small person standing between my thighs , i took the tv control and then BANG! in his head too bad it was a nocturne erection, my dick did hurt for 1 week
On November 19 2009 19:55 Kim_Hyun_Han wrote: so thats it
since we moved to our new house 1 yr ago ive been fighting against those strange creatures
our first encounter happened when i was playing warcraft3 one of the first Arthas missions
a strange noise in my ceiling, i called my father, my mother and my sister and i was like:
-"wth who the hell is in my house"
everybody could check it was not a lie
the noises happened lotsa times
since then , whenever i enter in my bedroom, and i start listening epik high, led zeppelin, or when i start reading a book, they start making noises, like walking in my ceiling
also i believe they are stealing my bandwidth i found wires and cables that didnt use to exist before in the guest bedroom,
my downloads are pretty laggy too and i believe they are watching me masturbate or streaming porn
the only physical met i believe we had was actly an illusion caused by too much grape juice i was sleeping and then i woke up in the middle of the night i could see that small person standing between my thighs , i took the tv control and then BANG! in his head too bad it was a nocturne erection, my dick did hurt for 1 week
thats it bay~
Wtf,seriously there is something really wrong with you...
Oh, believe me, I know all about those goddamn gnomes. I've been hunting them for years. The only way to kill them is a harpoon coated in laxatives. I see them every day, staring through my window with their beady little eyes. Waiting. Watching. I'll tell you all about gnomes, in the hopes that one day you may find the courage to wage war like no man ever has.
Gnomes were created in 420 AD by the Chinese. Chinese were a pretty advanced people, and they knew quite a bit of dark magic. You know, Chaos Gods and all that. Well, one day a crazy chinaman by the name of Ping Mang decided that he wanted to rule the world, but he needed more than just the backs of a million chinamen. He needed a race of super powerful, extremely intelligent and above all incredibly resilient demons that could swim across the world's oceans, scale the tallest mountains, and survive in any climate without food or water. By making a pact with the Dark Gods, he was able to give life to a seed of absolute pure evil - the first hamburger ever created by mankind, which he had previously bargained a part of his soul with the Chaos Gods to drag back in time.
Unfortunately for Ping Mang, the hamburger was such a potent source of evil energy that the Gnomes created from the infinite darkness of its abysmal depths were far too chaotic for him to control. The Chaos Gods laughed as the gnomes ran rampant immediately upon their creation. They reproduced like locust, they knew no pain or fear, and they quickly ran wild in China. Ping Mang was consumed by the gnomes for his life force and evil energy, and as no one knew of his devious plans, gnomes remained nothing but myths and mystery. Except for the fact that they were very real.
To this day, gnomes have infested the world and influenced its politics and events for their own deeds. Gnomes are users of dark magic themselves, and can hide themselves and their homes, which are fifty-story tall black spires that harness the energy of lightning, when they want to. But they like to toy with people. I mean, who's going to believe a guy who says that gnomes are watching him masturbate? No one! And the gnomes know that. They laugh in the shadows as you try to explain yourself to the authorities. And they come back. Every single night.
You must stand up to the gnomes. I know it seems impossible, as they are so numerous and we are so few, but you must fight. One day, when the sun falls into the ocean and the sky erupts in flame and judgment descends upon us, we will make the gnomes pay. I was going to say we will bury their children in graves of garlic and burn their women on crosses of ivory, but then I remembered that gnomes can reproduce by just eating stars. We'll have to suck them all into a black hole or something.
EPT
![[image loading]](http://www.neatorama.com/images/2006-08/gnome-prank.jpg)
