EPTOn November 10 2009 00:24 nayumi wrote:
Do you really love incontrol?
Do you really love incontrol?
Yes.
Ask uNcontroLable - Page 14
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uNcontroLable
United States1180 Posts
Yes. | ||
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uNcontroLable
United States1180 Posts
On November 10 2009 00:40 Kim_Hyun_Han wrote: will i get the girl i like? her name is Naomi What do I look like, a magic 8 ball? Be her friend, make her laugh, earn her trust, really know her, treat her special... then yeah, probably.  | ||
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SwEEt[TearS]
Canada1575 Posts
On November 10 2009 17:50 uNcontroLable wrote: What do I look like, a magic 8 ball? Be her friend does not compute | ||
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uNcontroLable
United States1180 Posts
On November 10 2009 01:00 Hypnosis wrote: Is your mom hot? WIll you be a hot mom? real question: What do you think about girl help threads on teamliquid and how would you rate them on the pathetic D- loser nerd scale from 1-10; 1 being "jacks off 10 times a day" and 10 being "rarely browses TL and is a pimp" thank you Actually, my mom is pretty hot, or so I've been told. I look a lot like her. I hope I will be a hot mom. Geoff says outlook is good.  The best way to describe my feelings about girl help threads on TL is just to say that they often exhaust me. I sometimes stay away from posting in them because either a) I get tired of guys asking the same common sense questions, looking for an easier way to get laid than actually having to care about the girl and put some work in, or b) There is too much bad advice for me to adequately respond to. All in all, I really love to provide a woman's perspective on things when it will help, I guess I just feel like there aren't enough guys out there who are really looking for that perspective when they make these threads. It's more often "how can I get this girl" than it is "what can I do to make this girl's day," or, "what are some creative ideas of nice things I can do for this girl to get her to notice me, here is what she is like..." You know? I yearn for topics that show the guy has at least put some thought in and has some understanding of women as human beings. I think online forums are a great place to get opinions and ideas...but asking general questions about all women from thousands of guys and then applying those ideas to a specific woman in a particular situation is, in my opinion, as futile as it is... well... typical. | ||
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uNcontroLable
United States1180 Posts
lol... see above ^ | ||
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uNcontroLable
United States1180 Posts
On November 10 2009 03:49 Klockan3 wrote: The thing is that guys also gets treated better the better they look. You get a lot in life for free by spending some extra time making sure your clothes fit, your hair is neat and working out once in a while, it is not just for getting guys/girls. And it isn't abusive in any way, they go out of their way to help you because they want to, you accepting will make them happier than if you declined. Overall you make people happy by letting them help you out, it is a win-win situation. As for the topic, do I have a question? Hmm, lets see. Yeah, that: Why do women usually have so much trouble trying to take the first steps towards a relationship? A forward female is one that smiles a lot and don't say no to most things, the same behaviour for a guy would place him in the "shy" category. Women do fiddle with their hair/neckline, laughs excessively, tries to give a lot of praise or other such things when they are interested, but why can't they just ask people out? Now, I am sure that some women do that, but a large majority don't. As it is it seems that men starts the relationships while women ends them. So, how do you think one should act to get a girl to ask you out? Technically it would be a lot easier for me to just ask them out, but it seems like it is all but impossible for me to do that so I figured that maybe it would be possible if it were the other way around. I do look good, women are often eyeing me and/or go out of their way to talk with me or help me or things like that. And before you ask, the problem with asking women out is that I can't figure out why I would go for any particular girl. It is like, as a guy you are supposed to just shotgun out invites and then be happy with whatever you get while as a girl you can wait till it feels right. So for me it feels like I am not being honest when I ask someone out, I am not particularly interested in anyone and it seems like getting together with someone that you know you will break up with will just make things more miserable for both of you. Or maybe it is just me having an overly negative view on relationships, to me they seem more agonizing than anything else and the only reason I could possible have for being in one is if the other part would. I am very empathic and loves to do things for others so that could work, at least for a while. Aw, now I feel like a freak :| Ok, so as I see it, you really have 3 main questions: 1) Why do girls, in general, seem to wait to be asked out instead of doing the asking? 2)What is a good way to get a girl to ask you out? 3)How do you pick who to ask out/who to go out with if you are not particularly interested in someone? 1) For any number of reasons, I would say most girls are hung up on the idea that it's bad to do the asking when it comes to dating. This comes from eons of socialization geared toward male dominance, all the way up to Cosmo telling us we don't want to look "desperate," so we should do a, b, and c to get the guy to ask us out, and if that doesn't work, then he's not into us so go cry about it. I know that I personally am okay with asking a guy out, but only to the extent that we agree to go do something together. I would feel weird saying "hey, can I take you out on a date sometime?" Probably because I would be afraid he'd say yes without really being into me, and I'd look like a fool. This is totally unfair, because obv it's the same kind of concern for guys... but that's just kinda the way it is. I think the ancient cultural odds are stacked against you on this one. 2) If you're really set on the idea of being asked out instead of doing the asking, there are a few things you can do to encourage it. First of all - and I'll touch on this in the next question - I'm not talking about "Here, do these things and women will flock to you." that's bogus. Those kinds of catch-all tips aren't real, and even if they were, they would catch you lame girls that weren't interested in the real you anyway, so what's the point. That said, if you like a girl, and you want her to ask you out, give her lots of opportunities. Mention a movie you have been wanting to see, say that you've been trying to find someone to go to the gym with... mention that you love a certain restaurant... anything that provides her a segue into inviting you to do something with her. MOST IMPORTANTLY though, make it at least somewhat known that you have interest in her. I would say that men and women alike won't ask each other out if they perceive the risk of rejection to be too high. Other than that, I venture once again to state the obvious. Get to know a girl, become her friend, and if there is a spark, something will happen the right way, at the right time. 3) If you aren't interested in anyone, don't ask anyone out. ... I'm not really sure... but I'm getting the feeling that you are trying to circumvent the whole "actually getting to know someone" process here. Look for girls that pique your interest for some minute reason or another. If you think you might be into someone, spend time with them to find out. If you are dating them and you feel like you're not being honest about your feelings, back off. Sorry if I'm misunderstanding you, but this is exactly what I was talking about a few posts back with the girl help threads. This seems so common sense to me ??? | ||
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DarkYoDA
United States1347 Posts
- Which of these do you think is the most important to a girl in the order of importance? - If you're in a setting where everyone is new and you get to know some new dudes, does it mean those having attributes ranked no. 1 will get all the chicks? How does this work in your opinion? heheh 1) Rich 2) Good looking (Face) 3) Hot bods 4) Highly educated (Masters or PHD least to say) 5) Social Status (eg. someone famous or important like a CFO of an MNC or so) 6) Comedian, the kind that can crack you up even when you first meet 7) Others (pls elaborate) Cheers! While I have half a mind on what's important, I love to hear it from a lady I don't know.. ;p | ||
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uNcontroLable
United States1180 Posts
On November 10 2009 07:22 Foucault wrote: Have your view on men and the qualities that attract you changed with age? If so, how? Umm... I guess they have had to, though I'm not sure they've changed so much as developed... Like anyone else, i think I just learned more and more through the years about what I liked and didn't like, and what I needed out of a significant other. The biggest change is that I guess now I look less at potential, and more at real compatibility. | ||
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uNcontroLable
United States1180 Posts
On November 10 2009 17:42 Athos wrote: That whole eating a napkin thing is pretty pro. Not sure I could pull that one off. Did he swallow (the napkin)? Lol, actually, now that you mention it, i think that was one of the reasons I was laughing so hard. I think he tried to... chewing it and stuff... but because he ate a whole napkin, his mouth got so dry, he eventually had to surrender and slyly spit it out, laughing. It was pretty pro. | ||
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
Bonus Question: WHY ARE YOU POSTING INSTEAD? | ||
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SwEEt[TearS]
Canada1575 Posts
being a girl's friend is the best way to get the girl you like after 15 years | ||
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
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uNcontroLable
United States1180 Posts
On November 11 2009 03:27 {88}iNcontroL wrote: Question: Why aren't you over here? Bonus Question: WHY ARE YOU POSTING INSTEAD? Answer: Because I'm applying online for a job! Someone's gotta be the breadwinner eventually! Bonus Answer: You did this to me. EDIT: I'm coming over now. | ||
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StorrZerg
United States13919 Posts
On November 11 2009 03:47 {88}iNcontroL wrote: pinched for time? Do as the vikings do. eat napkins? | ||
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StorrZerg
United States13919 Posts
would knowing before hand about it change how you might of reacted around him? | ||
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Klockan3
Sweden2866 Posts
On November 10 2009 18:31 uNcontroLable wrote: Sorry if I'm misunderstanding you, but this is exactly what I was talking about a few posts back with the girl help threads. This seems so common sense to me ??? It is common sense, its mostly that you need to hear it many times to actually change yourself. Be happy if who you got moulded into by your childhood is a working human being, since otherwise you will get many years of trying over and over and over to change yourself into someone whose life is worth living. Psychology is not trivial, even if you know exactly what the problem is that doesn't mean that you can do much about it and you can certainly never expect quick results. If your childhood taught you that no matter what people will always hate you and when it seems otherwise it is just a facade, then you will continue feeling as if that is true for the rest of your life. You can be taught to ignore it and such but to change such things requires extensive measures and even then the feeling will always linger beneath the surface. Thanks for the reply by the way. PS, I have way too heavy problems for any kind of forum interaction to really help much, but I like to get some input. Especially number 2, I often forget that when I avoid people they think I do it because I am not interested in them and not because I am afraid of making them angry. Really, in my mind everyone is a ticking bomb, just waiting to explode with anger all over me so when I associate too much with the same people it often ends with me getting a nervous break down. So I switch groups a lot, no problem with loose contacts and people usually enjoy my company till I start to get too nervous around them. It is funny that, most can sense how you feel around them and will react accordingly even though they might not actively think about it. Being nervous do make others nervous too. | ||
lilsusie
3861 Posts
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mania
United States3 Posts
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YPang
United States4024 Posts
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Impervious
Canada4211 Posts
On November 11 2009 10:45 mania wrote: do most girls watch porn? Lol. I just got a good laugh out of that one. Welcome to TL. What a question to ask already. I applaud your balls, sir (assuming you are a sir from the question). | ||
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