EPTI decided to finally take a crack at this guide after I had the idea a few weeks ago. Now just as a starter, I’d like to tell you this is in no way a brag blog. This is (was?) my life and how I managed to change while doing not that much.
A little info on me: I’m currently 19, been overweight ever since I was ~5. I was raised by a single mother who left my father (French from France, whom I’d visit every summer)when I was 4 with only some clothes and her furniture from Quebec. Needless to say, I wasn’t (and to this day still ain’t) close to him, so I can say I never had a father figure. My father made a shitload of money in the 90’s by selling pt6 engines and other parts at a time where it was very hard to get them other than by going to the main merchant. He’d bring back (or so I heard) $3.5k US/week on top of his job salary and bonuses he’d get for signing big contracts. I was very comfortable growing up and never really had financial problems, aside from the mere times my father’s alimony was late.
I got into gaming at about 6-7, when I got my first console (Sega Genesis fuck yeah) and played non-stop Mortal Kombat (with blood tyvm). I got my first computer when I was 8 or 9, and from there on I got a new one every 3 years or so. My gaming career, while very short, took all the time I had away from me. From casually playing CS 1.6, I went to WC3 to fail in ladder games then become very notorious at DotA during the 5.84c era, during which I set up a clan (CmP, Cry more Please) who had its own era of dominance for about a month and a half, at which point I was tired of TDA and just gave up. The next game was WoW, biggest time sink ever. I spent roughly 3 years on and off, mostly on, accumulating over 300 days /played, especially during the TBC era in which I peaked 124th best 3v3 team as Warrior Druid Priest (me) in Season 3. I quit 2 weeks into Season 4 and haven’t played since then.
First of all, disclaimer:
This is a rough guide. You probably won’t be overweight and socially inept. I truly wish you aren’t that way. However I’ll write it as if you are. You must also understand that everything I’ll ask you to do will be hard and you won’t see the results overnight. You didn’t become a nerd/fat ass overnight, so reversing the process won’t be easier. If anything it’ll be harsh and you’re likely want to give up. Don’t. Practice makes almost perfect, because there’s no such thing as a perfect control of your health and social life. It’s all about what makes you happy.
Step 1: Losing Weight
Losing weight isn’t exclusively about eating good things for you. It’s also (and mostly) cutting back what you eat. Chances are if you are overweight you abuse things you shouldn’t eat in large/frequent quantities and don’t do the extra work needed to burn those useless calories. But that’s fine because there’s a way to work on that.
The method I used was a ghetto copy of Weight Watchers. You’re gonna be like “wtf, I ain’t doing no diet”. Well I’m telling you you are. Mostly because you’re not eating what’s right, but almost exclusively because Weight Watchers is the one of the only diet where you can eat whatever the fuck you want, as long as you’re in your points limit.
To those unfamiliar to Weight Watchers, it’s basically a point counting system. Each food has a point value based on calories, fat and fibers. At first, you want to calculate your allowed point limit per day. To do so, use this:
+ Show Spoiler [Counting your daily points intake] +
What are you?
Are you a man? 8 pts
Are you a woman? 2 pts
Are you a pregnant woman? 12 pts
How old are you?
17-26 4 pts
27-37 3 pts
38-47 2 pts
48-58 1 pts
58+ 0 pts
How much do you weigh in pounds? (round to the lowest decimal, take the 2 first numbers e.g. if you weigh 198 pounds, you get 19 points)
How tall are you?
5’1” and less 0 pts
Between 5’1” and 5’10” 1 pts
5’10”+ 2 pts
During the week, do you spend most of your time:
Seated? 0 pts
Standing up, but sitting from time to time? 2 pts
Walking? 4 pts
Doing hard work (such as construction worker, gardener, nurse etc.)? 6 pts
What’s your total?
**Notes: you have an extra 35 points per week in case you cheat and eat things you’re not supposed to do.
If you’re under 18 points, eat 18 points. You’re underweight.
If you’re over 44 points, eat 44 points. You’re too overweight.
Are you a man? 8 pts
Are you a woman? 2 pts
Are you a pregnant woman? 12 pts
How old are you?
17-26 4 pts
27-37 3 pts
38-47 2 pts
48-58 1 pts
58+ 0 pts
How much do you weigh in pounds? (round to the lowest decimal, take the 2 first numbers e.g. if you weigh 198 pounds, you get 19 points)
How tall are you?
5’1” and less 0 pts
Between 5’1” and 5’10” 1 pts
5’10”+ 2 pts
During the week, do you spend most of your time:
Seated? 0 pts
Standing up, but sitting from time to time? 2 pts
Walking? 4 pts
Doing hard work (such as construction worker, gardener, nurse etc.)? 6 pts
What’s your total?
**Notes: you have an extra 35 points per week in case you cheat and eat things you’re not supposed to do.
If you’re under 18 points, eat 18 points. You’re underweight.
If you’re over 44 points, eat 44 points. You’re too overweight.
Here are a few links to help you learn about points:
+ Show Spoiler +
http://quiddity.cc/rachel/diet/wwfoods.htm list of most of the foods and how much they’re worth
http://www.dwlz.com/WWinfoTOC.html again, a list of most of the foods and restaurant meals and how much they are worth
http://www.webmilhouse.com/pointcalc.php point calculator, if you happen to have the nutritional information of your food
http://www.dwlz.com/WWinfoTOC.html again, a list of most of the foods and restaurant meals and how much they are worth
http://www.webmilhouse.com/pointcalc.php point calculator, if you happen to have the nutritional information of your food
Now here’s the exception. Look at the amount of points you’re allowed per day and try to imagine how much it’d look like. Does it look like what you’d eat throughout a day, or much less?
If it’s much less, here’s a good technique for you. I called it the 90%-2.
+ Show Spoiler [90%-2 Method] +
The principle is you try to eat 90% of what you usually eat. If you’re able to eat 90% of what you usually eat for 2 weeks in a row, eat 90% of what you now usually eat (so 81% of what you originally ate). Keep doing this until you think it’s about the same as a normal Weight Watchers diet then switch to what I pointed to you.
Now for a few tips to help you eat less.
- Your best friends are fruits, vegetables and water. You're shit outta luck if you hate them all because they're the best things to have something in your stomach without actually taking in calories.
- Try to lower your fried/fast food intake. They usually are filled with sugar and/or fat and have no good nutritive value.
- Take your time! If you eat a lot of fast/fried food, it's fine to eat it ever so often. The goal here is to progressively change your eating habits, so removing them completely from your diet in a day is just stupid and will make you nerdrage very quick. Calculate the WW points value and see if they can fit in your everyday diet. Remember, you have an extra 35 points per week; it could be allocated towards that. Otherwise, I suggest you progressively reduce the frequency (say if you eat them every day, cut to 3-4 times a week until you don't feel like eating them 7 times a week).
+ Show Spoiler [Step 2: Hygiene (why am I writing this?)] +
As a gamer, maybe showering everyday isn’t that useful. After all you don’t go out, you don’t sweat, so whatever right? Sad thing is, outside, hygiene is like, a prerequisite to doing anything.
Showering every day is like basic. Then you should take care of your hair (usually short hair = win, but if you can fashionably pull long hair, gg to you sir). Brush your teeth (tbh I had a hard time with this because mint and menthol taste makes me want to puke. But there are alternatives, don’t be lazy).
Same thing goes with body odors. Nobody likes smelly feet or armpits. Fix it.
Acne sucks, but taking care of your skin every day reduces it’s effect. Moisturize your skin a lot, and eat decent food. Should help a lot.
Last but not least (and often overlooked), nails. Overrated, I know. But girls tend to bitch a lot if you eat your nails. Try to cut them short if you really can’t stop yourself from eating them until you can go a day without having your fingers in your mouth. Or use that smelly disgusting clear polish thingy that makes them taste like garbage. Your call.
Step 3: GTFO
You might be a recluse. You might hate people. You might just game all day. In the end, you’ll have the same problem: you don’t go out.
The first and most important step to becoming social again is not hating or being afraid of going outside. To fix this, start by going out for a walk, jog, hell even a drive for 20 to 30 minutes once a day. It doesn’t need to be in public, you don’t need to interact with anyone. Just focus on going out of the house and breaking your basement routine.
The second important thing is don’t rush going to the gym. At first, you’ll want to like doing sports (I mean more than watching Bisu win against Jaedong) then you can actually focus on shaping your body the way you want it to be. It also depends on how well your diet is progressing. As a basic number, you’d want to start training more once you lose about 15-20% of your initial weight, as (again, depending on how fat you are) you might have stretch marks and skin to work on. The earlier you start the better it is, but you really have to want it bad.
The third step to being social is asking this question: what do YOU like?
It is important to first surround yourself with people who share the same interests as you. This way you’ll be less awkward trying to find conversation topics and you’ll have more chances to meet new people. The best way to do this is by trying to find groups of people who share the same hobbies and passions as you and also trying out new things. + Show Spoiler +
A good example would be how Jim Carrey in Yes Man (yeah I know fucking terrible movie stfu) took Korean and guitar lessons and whatever else. Best places to find those are at your college or high school or workplace on the boards. If there’s no ad corresponding to your hobbies/passions, put one up! You never know, there might be fellow SC players very near you who are just as shy as you~~
Don’t be scared to frequent places that have activities you like but not really indulge in them (e.g. go to a café that plays jazz but not talk to any frequent customers). Just be there and observe, learn about people, and when you feel confident enough make a move. Worst case scenario they’re douchebags and you wouldn’t want them as friends anyway!
The fourth (and most forward) step is actually being social. Now that you belong to multiple circles, learn about people and become their friend. It’s going to be hard and you won’t find a BFF in everyone, but you’re bound to find good people a way or another. If at first you fail, keep going~ Remember that everyone is a bit shy, so if people clam up when you first talk to them it’s perfectly normal. Just end the conversation a bit sooner and talk to them another day.
The firth step is the one that sucks the most. Go work. It’s going to suck for the first 1-3 jobs you’ll get (unless you’re really lucky and have good connections) but it’s also a good way to see and meet people and mostly to get you off the computer. Stick to it, normal life sucks.
The sixth step is kind of a given but I’ll throw it here anyway. Since you now have money, use it. Go out with your friends. Buy clothes. Change your haircut. Do what you want to make you feel happy. After all the suck you’re likely to feel at work, you deserve it.
General tips to not go back to bad habits:
- Fill your schedule. Leave 1 to 3 hours per day as “me time” for TL, SC and whatever else. The more you do the less you’ll think about the computer
- Smile. Honestly this is underrated, and you probably hate every douchebag who smiles like a complete imbecile at all times of the day. Hell, I do as well. But the douchebag got it right. Smiling is positive. It shows you’re confident and you can engage in positive conversations. You’re more likely to meet people if you smile than if you sit in a corner being emo.
- When people talk to you, talk back. Don’t be scared of engaging in conversations. You’re prone to say stupid or irrelevant things. That’s fine. It’s something you can’t control (unlike IM and forums, where you can take your time to write witty responses) and everyone’s going to do it. Likewise, when people say stuff that comes out wrong, don’t be mad. Try to understand what’s up first.
- Being nervous is fine. Stress is a good thing in small quantities. But don’t let it overrun you. Remember that if you think negative, everything will be negative. Tell yourself that as long you’re being positive, nothing can go wrong. And if it does go wrong, then it was out of your reach to try and fix it.
- Every day, look at yourself in the mirror and say "I am so good. I am brilliant. I win at life" until you really believe it. Then say it some more.
That is basically how I changed. Like I said you need to constantly work on it and it won't be easy, but it's a pretty cheap way and it introduces you to the hardship of life. I could tell you to take amphetamines or get a liposuction, but will that fix anything? You'll probably have the same habits and in the end you won't feel as proud as if you would've done all the work.
GL HF~~
<3
