Fun Player Bios

On April 23 2008 08:16 azndsh wrote:
Legends tell the tale of a half-dragon, half-zerg beast living deep in the forests of Germany. Known as the "One Dragon", his power exceeds that of a Balrog wielding the One Ring. His mixed blood makes him unparalleled in combat; thousands of brave souls have ventured to challenge him -- and died. Those that survived no longer possess their sanities and now reside in various mental institutions. Sometimes for amusement, he takes a human form and walks around among us. Do not let your guard down though, since he once ripped out someone's throat for asking what race he was (something that he is rather sensitive about).

Incidentally, he is also extremely good at StarCraft and favored to win the TSL.

On April 23 2008 08:39 nevake wrote:
Dissy Dragon was born in Germany to Rekrul, Hitler, and an unknown korean whore in the mid 1950's. Dissy had barely lived a day when he was abandoned to live the cruel, outside world by himself. As he grew older, he began to wonder who his family was and embarked on a journey to find out. Creating an idealized image of his father as a chauvinist fighting for Aiur, Dissy lived every day of his life to be reunited with his true father. However as he learned more and more about his origin, he became more and more angry. His depiction of his father was the complete opposite of what he had imagined. In a rage quit on life, Dissy turned crazy and vowed to murder anyone to cross his path. He soon became known as the infamous Mondragon, which lends it's name today not only to the popular series "Pokemon", but also dragons in general. Mondragon was a vicious, heartless zerg serial killer, and victims came to him like maphackers to proxy gates. At the peak of his onslaught, Mondragon forged a ring. In this one ring he put all of his power, and soon he was DOMINATING and UNSTOPPABLE often drawing comments of disgust such as "HOLY SHIT". One day, a righteous knight by the name of nevake came to him. "I don't care if they say you're 1/3rd Korean, you shall not pass!" And with that Mondragon was stopped in his path, or so everyone thought. Recently many suspect the Brood War Player "Christoph Semke" that plays under the game name "Mondragon" to be the former serial killer. Christoph certainly fits the part in his unmerciful slaughter of the "TSL", and if so, continues to plague society with his iniquity and can not be stopped anytime soon.

On April 23 2008 01:15 GTR-2-Go wrote:
Retired_Draco, shortened from Draco Malfoy, is a fictional character in J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series. He is a Slytherin student in Harry Potter's year, and his house's most visible adolescent representative. He is frequently accompanied by his two extremely dim-witted accomplices, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, who act as his bodyguards. Although Draco is often regarded as a cowardly bully who uses psychological manipulation and verbal taunts to denigrate his victims, he reveals an ability to wield magic cunningly in order to attain his objectives. Draco is described as a tall boy with a pale, pointed face, sleek white-blond hair, and light grey eyes. He is the only child of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy.

On April 25 2008 11:20 Hot_Bid wrote:
Strelok Holmes is a famous fictional detective of the late 19th and early 20th centuries who used his array of detective skills to defeat an organized Zerg crime syndicate. London-based detective by day and Terran StarCraft player by night, Strelok Holmes is famous for his intellectual prowess, and is renowned for his skillful use of "deductive reasoning" while using abductive reasoning (inference to the best explanation) and astute observation to solve difficult cases. He is often seen wearing a deerstalker cap, and carries around a portable comsat magnifying glass while smoking a stimpack pipe. Strelok Holmes is aided by his Protoss assistant, Dr. Watson-Ra.

On April 22 2008 19:47 Hot_Bid wrote:
TSL-Kr, real name "Steve Kr" is a retired American professional basketball player. He was the most accurate three-point shooter in National Basketball Association history upon his retirement in 2003. He is now listed as the second most accurate three-point shooter behind Jason Kapono. Kerr is a five-time NBA champion. On June 2, 2007, the Phoenix Suns named Steve Kerr as the team's President of Basketball Operations and General Manager. Kerr, an original partner in Suns Managing Partner Robert Sarver's 2004 purchase of the franchise, helped facilitate Sarver's opportunity to buy the Suns, has been one of Sarver's trusted advisors in basketball decisions over the past three years.

On April 23 2008 01:41 IntoTheWow wrote:
IefNaij (JianFei backwards, 沒有豬肉 which translates as "No pork" ) is the name of a chinese waiter who became famous after being featured in the YouTube video "RK House". In this video the waiter is asked for several dishes which include pork after him being very clear that they didn't have pork.
Shortly after the incident, British tabloid the Sunday Express named the man as Jian Fei, a 19-year-old student; however, the veracity of this claim is dubious. Numerous rumours have sprung up as to the man's identity and current whereabouts, but none are backed by hard evidence.

On April 23 2008 11:13 Colbi wrote:
Excello.NonY. Back home on Aiur, the Protoss high council held a meeting debating the issue of why Protoss is such an easy race to play compared to the others. A majority of the members of the council were worried that too many idiots were picking Protoss for the sheer fact that it was really easy to get good at. After brainstorming several ideas, they all came into an agreement that if they found a semi-intelligent person who excelled in his studies, he could do wonders with Protoss. They began a long, exhausting process of handpicking an individual for this experiment. After months of work, they would come across a Duke University student known as Tyler Wasieleski. He was given the blessings of Zeratul and ordered to destroy any Terran or Zerg who crossed his path. Tyler was given the nickname NonY (pronounced “New nee”) by the council with the purpose of filtering out the skilled from the unskilled. Only a truly skilled Protoss would have the ability to see beyond the simple rules of the English alphabet and pronounce their vowels incorrectly. The unskilled Protoss, that makes up around 99% of the players have brains that are just too small to grasp such a concept. This is what would separate NonY from the rest.
better or use both)

On April 23 2008 03:26 hymn wrote:
Excello.Nony is the son of an unknown but very skilled swordmaster. At the fragile age of 3,4 years his father started the training of what he thought was going to be the future swordmaster. But alas, things went really bad as the little boy hit his knee with the practice sword. Then his father exclaimed: I knew you'd hit your knee, boy! Hence the boy's nickname - knew-knee --> nony. Anyway, the kid then stumbled upon a game developing company, namely Blizzard. He told them of what he had seen in the woods with his dad, tales of warriors with blades of mental energy and of flying creatures with bat wings, screaming like Nazguls, and also stories of small cars planting, ridiculous as it might sound - land mines. The game developers thought the boy had fucked up mind but someone there decided to try to make a PC game based upon the maniacal renderings of the boy's mind. And so they tried...

On April 22 2008 19:54 pachi wrote:
)ToT(Cloud is a popular Muppet character on the children's television show Sesame Street. He is best known for his voracious appetite and his famous eating phrases: "Me want cookie!", "Me eat cookie!", and "Omm nom nom nom" (said through a mouthful of food). He often eats anything and everything, including danishes, donuts, lettuce, apples, bananas, and inedible objects such as salt and pepper shakers, napkins, telephones, motorcycles, trucks, and the four letters in the word "food". Once, he even attempted to eat Guy Smiley and the petals and leaves off of Bert's flower costume in a Sesame Street Little Theater pageant. As evidenced by his name, however, his favorite food is cookies. Chocolate chip cookies are his favorite kind; oatmeal cookies are his second favorite. In a song in 2004, Cookie Monster revealed that, before he ate his first cookie, he believes his name was Sid.

On April 23 2008 03:55 GongKyuckTerran wrote:

MistrZZZ (Frederick Charles "Freddy" Krueger) is a fictional character from the protoss horror games. Created by battle.net and portrayed by actor Piotr Jaworski in every game of the starcraft series, he is an undead serial killer who can attack his victims from within their own dreams. Freddy is commonly identified by his burned, disfigured face, red and green striped sweater, brown fedora hat, rush tactics,big knowledge about zerg drops on paranoid androide,awfull macro,good zealot micro and trademark metal-clawed leather glove.

On April 23 2008 08:29 Colbi wrote:
Skew[Media]. Having grown up on wine vineyard in Northern Italy, “Skew[Media]” was raised by his grandparents Mario and Isabella Brola. As a child, he was taught to smash grapes while using his feet, but young Skew wanted to use his hands instead. At the age of eight, he broke the record for most grapes smashed in Italy at a competition held outside of Milan, defeating a 54 year old moped mechanic from Rome. Some wine makers from Napa Valley, California took notice and wanted to hire him as the poster child for their company. He would accept their offer without the support of his grandparents and move to California. Skew always loved grapes, his dream since he was young was to become rich enough purchase his own medieval castle and have beautiful goddesses feed him grapes daily. At the age of 17 he would meet a person that would change his life, “Artosis[Media]”. Artosis introduced Skew to the ways of Terran and convinced him that he could eventually become a professional gamer and make enough money make his dream a reality. Skew would quit his job at the wine vineyard to pursue a career as a brave soldier of Terran. Unfortunately, he couldn’t stand losing and would frequently recite a similar excuse after every loss, “You can only beat me with <insert unit that he was just defeated by>”. This famous quote became known as the “Skew” and its popularity caught on quickly. Terran players from all over would recite this quote after they lost which would drive their opponents to the point of insanity.

On April 23 2008 03:09 Cesar2000 wrote:


RoX.ALF, born October 28, 1756, is the only alien competing in this inter-species Starleague. He crash-landed on our planet in 1986, leaving him with no way of getting back to his home Planet of Melmac. After spending 4 fun years living in hiding with the Tanner family, he was captured by the US Military, and was never heard of again....

... until 1998. The Military, not wanting to release him, locked him in a room only with a computer and a copy of Starcraft. Having worked as part of the Melmac Orbit Guard, he was naturally suited for this form of Space Warfare, and quickly became a top ranked player. There he remains today, playing Starcraft 20 hours per day, hoping one day... to buy his freedom.

While many people have raised complaints about him being a different species, and as such having an unfair advantage, they fall to deaf ears. At least he isnt Korean.

On April 23 2008 02:27 Chill wrote:
Excello.CaStrO (born Fidel Castro), is a Cuban revolutionary leader who served as the country's 22nd president beginning January 1959. Unfortunately, his obssession with an archaic video game (StarCraft: Brood War) peaked in late 2007. After Castro legally changed his given name from Fidel to Excello in February 2008 (to complete the anagram "Star Excel Loco", an homage to his great StarCraft play being deemed "crazy"), his position as Cuban leader was forcibly taken by his younger brother, Raúl. Shamed, Castro sought shelter in the Bolivian province of Cochabamba, where there is literally nothing to do but play StarCraft.

On April 24 2008 00:57 Colbi wrote:
The Hindu God’s desired to create a player with Godlike skills who could not possibly be defeated by any lesser beings (unless of course they were a “lucky newb”). They chose to name him IdrA, named after the warrior Indrajit from the Hindu epic known as the Ramayana. A majority of the characteristics of Indrajit would be given to IdrA with the exception of his fighting abilities. In the epic, when Indrajit cried at birth he would cause thunder and lightning storms. As a mortal on earth this trait would carry over and whenever IdrA cried after losing, a great storm would occur somewhere on earth. He was given all of the skills by the divine powers to be successful with Terran. However, when the God’s created IdrA they underestimated the easiness of the Protoss race. Later in his life, he became one of the most outspoken individuals against Protoss and would later go on to join the “Media Terran Triad”. During one of the group’s rallies against Protoss in his home state of New Jersey, he was approached by a recruiter of the South Korean Terran army, most notably the eStro faction who were stuck in a civil war against eleven other factions. He currently resides in South Korea where he continues to train with hopes of one day being skilled enough to fight on the front lines in the civil war.

On April 22 2008 19:46 Hot_Bid wrote:
Incontrol was the son of a female bear and a male english literature-loving debater. When he was young, he was named Jeff Robinson but deemed that name too manly, altering it to the now French-iteration "Geoff." Incontrol refuses to have anything to do with computers, having only recently how to use torrents and attach pictures to email (btw, you should attach the full size pictures instead of just the thumbnails). In his spare time, Incontrol chooses not to be ignored, attacks a lot, and sires Zerg children, most notably "Machine[Media]."

On April 25 2008 15:06 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
Being Polish it was natural for Chris "Slider" Syzeksiziekxyz to be in capable of thinking for himself. So naturally, when there was a buzz on the polish websites about the new Olympic sport involving plastic lanes and water he was not going to sit this one out. With the 2008 Summer Olympics drawing near Syzeksiziekxyz earned his nickname by patenting the belly-dual shocker hands style that caught fire in local tourneys and earned him the title of top polish "Slider." With Slip'N'Sliding being the world's fastest growing sport his fame grew. Syzeksiziekxyz got used to being one of the best and success came easy to him. Eventually someone told him about the computer game "SC." He thought this was funny but gave it a shot. The game was stupid, boring and imbalanced until he accidentally selected protoss and found himself enjoying tremendous success with relatively low amounts of effort. A star was born. Chris "Slider" Syzeksiziekxyz had found a new activity. Reluctantly ditching his Olympic dreams he traded in his swim shorts and goggles for a slick mouse and wrist-pleasing keyboard. It wasn't long before the success of his race landed him a match against an American hero. That hero was of course RedeemeR. Having decided that would be entirely too difficult the Polish community harrassed and barked at the administrators until a more lucrative match was made to replace the previously mentioned death sentence. Artosis was yanked away from a crime scene and asked if he would once again return to the game that had landed him in a loft with arthritis and low self esteem. He said no but was called a "pussy" and decided it best he deny such claims the only way he knew how: Losing publicly and being mad about it.

On April 25 2008 11:52 Hot_Bid wrote:
Hugh G. Kwak is his full name. He has a brother, 10inch.

On April 25 2008 11:48 G5 wrote:
KwaK was born into a world of crime and prostitution. His only escape was going down to the local Computer store and playing a new demo called Starcraft. From the moment the young boy made his first probe, he fell in love with the game and the Protoss race. He spent countless hours in that computer store, every free second he had was spent mastering the Protoss race. When someone asked him if they could try the game, he would always modestly reply "I live in a burned out Saab, do you think I am scared to kill you?".

When he explained the passion he had for the game of Starcraft to his mother, she saw the potential her son had as he defeated 7 computers in front of her very eyes. She vowed to do everything she could to help her boy. His gypsy mother saved her gypsy earnings for 7 months to buy the young KwaK a computer so he could fulfill his destiny in the game.

He played every single second he was awake. His talent shining bright and his skill growing fast. After 10 years he finally made it to the big time. Top 48 TSL. When he told his mother he had qualified, she hugged him with tears in her eyes, "I can't tell you how proud I am of you son, you are now a man." she said. That night as they celebrated at McDonalds and it was the happiest moment of his life. As they returned to there shelter after the hearty meal, he refreshed the TSL Rankings page only to find out he is to play Machine[Media]. He wept uncontrollably as his dreams of victory were shattered. His mother encouraged him but deep in her heart she knew the task of defeating the famous Machine was impossible. But the young man is a Brave one and has dealt with countless challenges in his life and he would not back down. Although he knew his fate was already decided, he would press forward anyways. And so it begins, the great David vs Goliath of our time. KwaK vs Machine.

On April 22 2008 22:37 GrandInquisitor wrote:
Ask the proverbial American on the street to name a member of the Sex Pistols -- or, for that matter, to name the first punk figure who comes to mind -- and chances are that the answer will be MYM.Testie. That's because for many listeners, the myth surrounding Testie became the essence of what punk rock was all about -- anarchy, violence (especially at gigs), nihilism, wild excess, an apathetic lack of concern with everyone and everything, and dying young, all in the service of a pervasive boredom and dissatisfaction with the predictable, mapped-out existence in store for young adults of varying class backgrounds. According to his myth, Testie's demise was destiny from the start, as he chose the path of destruction and lived it to the hilt, breaking all "the rules" out of total disrespect, destroying himself and everything around him out of frustration with the hollowness of existence, a quixotic rebel without a cause who possessed a certain doomed romanticism and junkie glamour.

On April 23 2008 04:35 Colbi wrote:
Machine[Media]. Since his days as a larva, “Machine[Media]” slowly evolved in the shadow of his father iNcontroL. He lived a life of privilege, only consuming the finest marines, but he was a rebellious child. At a young age, he disobeyed the rules of his father and ventured out alone on the jungle terrain until he came across a great Protoss warrior known as “G5”. They made friends quickly, spending most of their time alone together building their skills and chatting late into the night. Eventually, iNcontroL caught word of his youngest son’s friendship with the Protoss warrior and disallowed him from ever seeing G5 again. Machine grew furious and out of anger made the decision to train very hard, so that one day he could eventually become king and make his own rules. Shortly thereafter, Machine was introduced to his older brother LzGaMeR. A distraught Machine felt he was losing grasps in his dream of becoming the king and out of desperation challenged his older brother. Machine came out victorious with his strong play against Zerg, however, LzGaMeR had a trick up his sleeve. After their great battle, LzGaMeR informed his younger brother about his mastery in the dark arts of Aiur. Machine grew interested in these unfamiliar teachings, but he always remembered the words that his father told him when he was young, “real men play ZvZ”. To this day, he still jockeys for power with his older brother, so that one day he will become the king of the Zerg.

On April 23 2008 01:12 Colbi wrote:
Knowing that his second Zerg child, “Machine[Media]” had begun the morphing process, iNcontroL grew worried that a power struggle would occur between his eldest son “NaW-LzGaMeR” and his new child to be. To prevent this from happening, he would transport his oldest son on an overlord to live in the only place that he knew would be safe from harm, the great bayous of Louisiana. In seclusion, he would quickly evolve into a form that would surprise his father. Knowing that he would be forced choose a rightful heir to the Zerg throne soon, he desired to closely monitor the progress of his two sons. However, while his eldest son, LzGaMeR, was in seclusion he had begun to study the teachings of Aiur, most notably the teachings of killing his own kind, the Zerg. Devastated by this news, iNcontroL was prepared to declare Machine as his heir to the throne, but LzGaMeR threatened convert fully to the ways of Aiur if the decision was made. Even though, Father Zerg did not approve of all of his sons beliefs, he grew to accept them. Now only time will tell which son will ascend the throne and take the place of his father.

On April 23 2008 05:58 Colbi wrote:
Born from two Jewish immigrants from Poland who traveled to the United States to raise their son in an environment away from a society that favored the Protoss teachings over the Terran. Shortly after coming to the United States, his parents took jobs working for Confederate Marine Corps. When he was young, he grew fascinated by the stories that some of the Terran marines would tell after coming home from a long battle. Everyday, he would daydream of one day becoming a “Brave Terran Warrior”. As he grew older, he would spend most of his day practicing, especially in the art of base defense. While fending off an onslaught of dark templar drops he met two people that would become his best friends for life. His newfound allies, “Skew[Media]” was a rather brash individual who quickly moved his way up the Terran ranks. His other friend “IdrA[Media]” was a young, ungracious Terran who had made quite a name for himself solar system after some recent victories against the hands of the Zerg army. While their personalities clashed often, they were all devout believers that Protoss took the least amount of skill. They would later go on to form the “Media Terran Triad”, a group that promotes the ideals of flaming your opponent after losing and defending your fellow Media brethren no matter the amount of proof that was stacked against them. While his true age is shrouded in mystery, he has earned the title of “Grandpatosis” by his closest friends.

On April 24 2008 17:31 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote:
Artosis' story began in his run-down office, a dirty hovel in the worst part of the worst city. On the door, Artosis' present life was neatly summed up in three words: "Detective For Hire". Artosis grew up surrounded by crime and poverty. Despite his four brothers involving themselves in all manners of unlawful business, Artosis remained stalwart and virtuous due to a single event that gave him an unquenchable thirst for justice.

Artosis' father was a heavy drinker. He held a job at the auto plant on the edge of town, overworked and underpaid. Every night after working twelve hour days, Artosis' father would sink into the same chair and open another bottle of the same whiskey. His life was one of repetition and subordinance, and in the depths of his heart Artosis' father loathed everything that was constant. Fatally devoted, Artosis' mother endured countless beating at the merciless hands of his father. On Artosis' sixteenth birthday, his father was laid off from the auto plant. In a drunken haze, his father beat his mother so bad that she'd never wake up. Artosis could find only one recourse; he hefted the steel bat his mother had gifted him for his birthday, and he returned the favor.

Artosis wandered the streets after that day, taking honest jobs when he could find them and hiring himself out as a "collector" when he couldn't. Artosis spent four years living in his own personal hell, when the call of virtue songed to him again. He became a freelance detective. He had always been good at... finding people.

On a particularily cold November afternoon, the door to Artosis' dingy rathole swung open, and through the frame walked the spitting image of his mother. Not the mother he found in a crumpled, deathly still heap at the feet of his enraged father, but the mother he had seen in photographs of happier times. Times when things were better for a growing family, some twenty years ago. His mother had seemed so radiant, so full of life in those photographs, but the young woman standing in his office now gazed at him impassively through eyes that seemed as dead as his own.

In a calm, level voice, the woman spoke of tragedy and despair as she explained her presence in an office that only the most downcast and unfortunate souls find themselves crawling to. Artosis had heard hundreds of sob stories. Sometimes he took the case, sometimes he didn't. But this instance, some old feeling buried deep under layers of sleeping pills and cheap gin burst to the forefront of his memory.

"They took my son," she told him. "They came in the middle of the night. They shot my husband, and they took my son. God's sake, he's just a baby." Her husband had gotten himself into a gambling debt with the worst sort of people. People who'd kill their own mother without a second thought if the bosses above them told them to. People so ruthless, so evil that even the strongest young sapling would wither under their gaze. Korean StarCraft players.

The woman slid a disc across the table. Artosis eyed it carefully, and something in the back of his mind told him he'd find his destiny in this disc. He'd heard of StarCraft, of course, the game of life and death where the rich and privileged controlled strange alien creatures to slaughter the destitute, forced to use fragile and powerless things called "Terran" as punishment for their low rung on the ladder of life.

"Please," she said. "They said I had to pay them. I don't have that kind of money. They said they'd kill my son if I didn't pay. I cried for mercy, and they threw me that disc. They said, 'If you beat us with Terran, we'll give your son back'. Please, Artosis. People say it can't be done. But people also say that you're the best. They say you can do anything. Please, help me".

Artosis eyed the disc for what seemed like hours, in sheer disbelief of the request laid at his feet. To beat the Koreans with Terran? She didn't lie. No one had ever done it. Lifting his gaze to meet the haunted eyes of the woman in his office, Artosis felt the itch again. The same itch that came before he splattered his drunken father's skull all over the drapes like a rotten melon. He couldn't refuse. There was justice to be served. Artosis sank into his desk chair and placed the disc in his computer.

"Ma'am," he said, "as of this day, I am Terran."

And so, Artosis' journey began.

On April 25 2008 01:42 HotZhot wrote:
TSL-OctZerg
AKA JulyZerg, July[z-zone]
TSL News Special



After a continuos slump in Korean leagues, Park Sung Joon found himself wondering what would be of his career. He has found a new home on the STX team after numerous negotiations with several teams who just couldn't support his eating habits. It is said that July has lost his motivation and winning desire, just like iloveoov lost his oov.

It is at this time when JulyZerg finds the TSL and wishes to perform in it to step his game up and find the much needed boost to regain his selfconfidence and claim his righteous position as one of Korea's greatest, there is one problem though: Korean IP's have been banned from this league. Recent research has implied that July has taken a short vacation to Japan in the meanwhile for the contract terms to be settled and to do other things...

After a long thinking time he came to the conclusion that nobody would find him under a different month of the year, henceforth the name OctZerg, which literally means October Zerg, a rather drastical change for a midterm zerg.

After finding him on a local restaurant and 5 dishes later, July promised: "I will eat TossGirl after I win this TSL".

PS1: Please excuse my bad english.
PS2: Image shamelessly stolen from the BroodWar "July to STX" forum thread

On April 23 2008 13:45 HaXxorIzed wrote:
Peter "Legionnaire" Neate, came into this world as the result of a quick, bloody and ultimate indecisive war between the kangaroo cavalry of the Australian Defence Forces, and the the legions of Germany commanded by the great TECHNOVIKING. His parents? One of the captains of the Roo Cav himself, and a smitten vixen of TECHNOVIKING'S elite guard. In the resulting peacetimes that followed, he was one of the promising young children sent to the deserts of Northern Queensland (located in Korea, of course) to train in the ways of zen mastery, under the wiseman and prominent thinker, 'the wink' and the masters of pimpage, Daniel Lee and Rekrul. After surpassing his masters, Legionnaire stunned the peoples of Korea by using this mighty fighting style to incapacitate the great Caveman TheROCK himself, even as he tore apart bystanders in his desire to scream "RUWRRRRRRRR ROCK MAEK FIIREEEEEEEEE". Eventually however, Peter's attraction to the ways of honour found him joining the armies of the Protoss as a human mercenary, leading to vast improvements on the Maelstorm technique, which now has double the effect time and is known as the 'pimp wink'.

Aside from appearing at one edition of the World Cyber Games, saving many lives when mighty Korean Gorilla Champion iloveoov ran out of bananas and attempted to scale the convention building, he has not been seen since. Thus, the secret goal of the TSL is finally revealed, to create just enough impotent gamer anger to lure him back. For the final battle to subdue to the rage.

For the reavertime.