Fun Player Bios - Page 2

hymn

Bulgaria832 Posts

April 22 2008 18:26 GMT

#21

Excello.Nony is the son of an unknown but very skilled swordmaster. At the fragile age of 3,4 years his father started the training of what he thought was going to be the future swordmaster. But alas, things went really bad as the little boy hit his knee with the practice sword. Then his father exclaimed: I knew you'd hit your knee, boy! Hence the boy's nickname - knew-knee --> nony. Anyway, the kid then stumbled upon a game developing company, namely Blizzard. He told them of what he had seen in the woods with his dad, tales of warriors with blades of mental energy and of flying creatures with bat wings, screaming like Nazguls, and also stories of small cars planting, ridiculous as it might sound - land mines. The game developers thought the boy had fucked up mind but someone there decided to try to make a PC game based upon the maniacal renderings of the boy's mind. And so they tried...

ps: dunno if it's OK, hope you enjoy.

HaiVan

Bulgaria1698 Posts

April 22 2008 18:26 GMT

#22

These are great lol. [image loading]

GongKyuckTerran

Croatia1096 Posts

April 22 2008 18:55 GMT

#23

MistrZZZ (Frederick Charles "Freddy" Krueger) is a fictional character from the protoss horror games. Created by battle.net and portrayed by actor Piotr Jaworski in every game of the starcraft series, he is an undead serial killer who can attack his victims from within their own dreams. Freddy is commonly identified by his burned, disfigured face, red and green striped sweater, brown fedora hat, rush tactics,big knowledge about zerg drops on paranoid androide,awfull macro,good zealot micro and trademark metal-clawed leather glove.

SK.Testie

Canada11084 Posts

April 22 2008 19:18 GMT

#24

Hrm, eerily fitting.

Colbi

United States535 Posts

April 22 2008 19:35 GMT

#25

Machine[Media]. Since his days as a larva, “Machine[Media]” slowly evolved in the shadow of his father iNcontroL. He lived a life of privilege, only consuming the finest marines, but he was a rebellious child. At a young age, he disobeyed the rules of his father and ventured out alone on the jungle terrain until he came across a great Protoss warrior known as “G5”. They made friends quickly, spending most of their time alone together building their skills and chatting late into the night. Eventually, iNcontroL caught word of his youngest son’s friendship with the Protoss warrior and disallowed him from ever seeing G5 again. Machine grew furious and out of anger made the decision to train very hard, so that one day he could eventually become king and make his own rules. Shortly thereafter, Machine was introduced to his older brother LzGaMeR. A distraught Machine felt he was losing grasps in his dream of becoming the king and out of desperation challenged his older brother. Machine came out victorious with his strong play against Zerg, however, LzGaMeR had a trick up his sleeve. After their great battle, LzGaMeR informed his younger brother about his mastery in the dark arts of Aiur. Machine grew interested in these unfamiliar teachings, but he always remembered the words that his father told him when he was young, “real men play ZvZ”. To this day, he still jockeys for power with his older brother, so that one day he will become the king of the Zerg.

Titusmaster6

United States5937 Posts

April 22 2008 19:42 GMT

#26

Lol this thread is outta control.

asel

Germany1601 Posts

April 22 2008 19:54 GMT

#27

At least the MistrZZZ bio is serious

EGLzGaMeR

United States1867 Posts

April 22 2008 19:57 GMT

#28

omg i love this thread hahahaha
ㅋㅋㅋ

JoMal

Trinidad/Tobago1177 Posts

April 22 2008 20:32 GMT

#29

Castro is art !

Coulthard

Greece3359 Posts

April 22 2008 20:34 GMT

#30

mistrzzz bio owns haha

iNcontroL

USA29055 Posts

April 22 2008 20:38 GMT

#31

LZ/MACHINE HAHA nice colbi

alffla

Hong Kong20321 Posts

April 22 2008 20:47 GMT

#32

LOLLL WTF haHAHAHa
OMG JIANFEI ONE NO PORK that RKhouse video was fuckign funny ahahaha

Colbi

United States535 Posts

April 22 2008 20:58 GMT

#33

Artosis[Media]. Born from two Jewish immigrants from Poland who traveled to the United States to raise their son in an environment away from a society that favored the Protoss teachings over the Terran. Shortly after coming to the United States, his parents took jobs working for Confederate Marine Corps. When he was young, he grew fascinated by the stories that some of the Terran marines would tell after coming home from a long battle. Everyday, he would daydream of one day becoming a “Brave Terran Warrior”. As he grew older, he would spend most of his day practicing, especially in the art of base defense. While fending off an onslaught of dark templar drops he met two people that would become his best friends for life. His newfound allies, “Skew[Media]” was a rather brash individual who quickly moved his way up the Terran ranks. His other friend “IdrA[Media]” was a young, ungracious Terran who had made quite a name for himself solar system after some recent victories against the hands of the Zerg army. While their personalities clashed often, they were all devout believers that Protoss took the least amount of skill. They would later go on to form the “Media Terran Triad”, a group that promotes the ideals of flaming your opponent after losing and defending your fellow Media brethren no matter the amount of proof that was stacked against them. While his true age is shrouded in mystery, he has earned the title of “Grandpatosis” by his closest friends.

Artosis

United States2140 Posts

April 22 2008 22:28 GMT

#34

ROFL

azndsh

United States4447 Posts

April 22 2008 23:16 GMT

#35

Mondi:

Legends tell the tale of a half-dragon, half-zerg beast living deep in the forests of Germany. Known as the "One Dragon", his power exceeds that of a Balrog wielding the One Ring. His mixed blood makes him unparalleled in combat; thousands of brave souls have ventured to challenge him -- and died. Those that survived no longer possess their sanities and now reside in various mental institutions. Sometimes for amusement, he takes a human form and walks around among us. Do not let your guard down though, since he once ripped out someone's throat for asking what race he was (something that he is rather sensitive about).

Incidentally, he is also extremely good at StarCraft and favored to win the TSL.

Colbi

United States535 Posts

April 22 2008 23:29 GMT

#36

Skew[Media]. Having grown up on wine vineyard in Northern Italy, “Skew[Media]” was raised by his grandparents Mario and Isabella Brola. As a child, he was taught to smash grapes while using his feet, but young Skew wanted to use his hands instead. At the age of eight, he broke the record for most grapes smashed in Italy at a competition held outside of Milan, defeating a 54 year old moped mechanic from Rome. Some wine makers from Napa Valley, California took notice and wanted to hire him as the poster child for their company. He would accept their offer without the support of his grandparents and move to California. Skew always loved grapes, his dream since he was young was to become rich enough purchase his own medieval castle and have beautiful goddesses feed him grapes daily. At the age of 17 he would meet a person that would change his life, “Artosis[Media]”. Artosis introduced Skew to the ways of Terran and convinced him that he could eventually become a professional gamer and make enough money make his dream a reality. Skew would quit his job at the wine vineyard to pursue a career as a brave soldier of Terran. Unfortunately, he couldn’t stand losing and would frequently recite a similar excuse after every loss, “You can only beat me with <insert unit that he was just defeated by>”. This famous quote became known as the “Skew” and its popularity caught on quickly. Terran players from all over would recite this quote after they lost which would drive their opponents to the point of insanity.

allowicious

United States972 Posts

April 22 2008 23:36 GMT

#37

rofl, colbi, you're a genius at this stuff

Skew

United States1019 Posts

April 22 2008 23:37 GMT

#38

ROFL............ who paid you to mock my grape loving ways, you son of a bitch.

ketomai

United States2789 Posts

April 22 2008 23:39 GMT

#39

Mondragon

Dissy Dragon was born in Germany to Rekrul, Hitler, and an unknown korean whore in the mid 1950's. Dissy had barely lived a day when he was abandoned to live the cruel, outside world by himself. As he grew older, he began to wonder who his family was and embarked on a journey to find out. Creating an idealized image of his father as a chauvinist fighting for Aiur, Dissy lived every day of his life to be reunited with his true father. However as he learned more and more about his origin, he became more and more angry. His depiction of his father was the complete opposite of what he had imagined. In a rage quit on life, Dissy turned crazy and vowed to murder anyone to cross his path. He soon became known as the infamous Mondragon, which lends it's name today not only to the popular series "Pokemon", but also dragons in general. Mondragon was a vicious, heartless zerg serial killer, and victims came to him like maphackers to proxy gates. At the peak of his onslaught, Mondragon forged a ring. In this one ring he put all of his power, and soon he was DOMINATING and UNSTOPPABLE often drawing comments of disgust such as "HOLY SHIT". One day, a righteous knight by the name of nevake came to him. "I don't care if they say you're 1/3rd Korean, you shall not pass!" And with that Mondragon was stopped in his path, or so everyone thought. Recently many suspect the Brood War Player "Christoph Semke" that plays under the game name "Mondragon" to be the former serial killer. Christoph certainly fits the part in his unmerciful slaughter of the "TSL", and if so, continues to plague society with his iniquity and can not be stopped anytime soon.

KH1031

United States862 Posts

April 23 2008 00:00 GMT

#40

i LOL'd on the no pok video from IefNaji

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