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Fun Player Bios - Page 4

Forum Index > Razer TSL Forum
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Artosis *
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
United States2140 Posts
April 24 2008 21:37 GMT
#61
god im gr9
Commentatorhttp://twitter.com/Artosis
Hot_Bid
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
Braavos36379 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-04-25 05:02:56
April 25 2008 02:20 GMT
#62
Strelok Holmes is a famous fictional detective of the late 19th and early 20th centuries who used his array of detective skills to defeat an organized Zerg crime syndicate. London-based detective by day and Terran StarCraft player by night, Strelok Holmes is famous for his intellectual prowess, and is renowned for his skillful use of "deductive reasoning" while using abductive reasoning (inference to the best explanation) and astute observation to solve difficult cases. He is often seen wearing a deerstalker cap, and carries around a portable comsat magnifying glass while smoking a stimpack pipe. Strelok Holmes is aided by his Protoss assistant, Dr. Watson-Ra.
@Hot_Bid on Twitter - ESPORTS life since 2010 - http://i.imgur.com/U2psw.png
G5
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
United States2912 Posts
April 25 2008 02:48 GMT
#63
KwaK was born into a world of crime and prostitution. His only escape was going down to the local Computer store and playing a new demo called Starcraft. From the moment the young boy made his first probe, he fell in love with the game and the Protoss race. He spent countless hours in that computer store, every free second he had was spent mastering the Protoss race. When someone asked him if they could try the game, he would always modestly reply "I live in a burned out Saab, do you think I am scared to kill you?".

When he explained the passion he had for the game of Starcraft to his mother, she saw the potential her son had as he defeated 7 computers in front of her very eyes. She vowed to do everything she could to help her boy. His gypsy mother saved her gypsy earnings for 7 months to buy the young KwaK a computer so he could fulfill his destiny in the game.

He played every single second he was awake. His talent shining bright and his skill growing fast. After 10 years he finally made it to the big time. Top 48 TSL. When he told his mother he had qualified, she hugged him with tears in her eyes, "I can't tell you how proud I am of you son, you are now a man." she said. That night as they celebrated at McDonalds and it was the happiest moment of his life. As they returned to there shelter after the hearty meal, he refreshed the TSL Rankings page only to find out he is to play Machine[Media]. He wept uncontrollably as his dreams of victory were shattered. His mother encouraged him but deep in her heart she knew the task of defeating the famous Machine was impossible. But the young man is a Brave one and has dealt with countless challenges in his life and he would not back down. Although he knew his fate was already decided, he would press forward anyways. And so it begins, the great David vs Goliath of our time. KwaK vs Machine.
Hot_Bid
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
Braavos36379 Posts
April 25 2008 02:52 GMT
#64
Hugh G. Kwak is his full name. He has a brother, 10inch.
@Hot_Bid on Twitter - ESPORTS life since 2010 - http://i.imgur.com/U2psw.png
HotZhot
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Colombia677 Posts
April 25 2008 03:26 GMT
#65
Watson-Ra, damit that fits so well it's not even funny
I only smile in the darK [] sAviOr//JaeDong Fan 4 Ever ~ CJ Entusman # 7
00Zarathustra
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
Bolivia419 Posts
April 25 2008 05:14 GMT
#66
Castro lives in Santa Cruz actually, not in Cochabamba. ^^
Zarathustra "You can't spell aNal_Rape without Nal_Ra"
iNcontroL *
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
USA29055 Posts
April 25 2008 06:06 GMT
#67
Being Polish it was natural for Chris "Slider" Syzeksiziekxyz to be in capable of thinking for himself. So naturally, when there was a buzz on the polish websites about the new Olympic sport involving plastic lanes and water he was not going to sit this one out. With the 2008 Summer Olympics drawing near Syzeksiziekxyz earned his nickname by patenting the belly-dual shocker hands style that caught fire in local tourneys and earned him the title of top polish "Slider." With Slip'N'Sliding being the world's fastest growing sport his fame grew. Syzeksiziekxyz got used to being one of the best and success came easy to him. Eventually someone told him about the computer game "SC." He thought this was funny but gave it a shot. The game was stupid, boring and imbalanced until he accidentally selected protoss and found himself enjoying tremendous success with relatively low amounts of effort. A star was born. Chris "Slider" Syzeksiziekxyz had found a new activity. Reluctantly ditching his Olympic dreams he traded in his swim shorts and goggles for a slick mouse and wrist-pleasing keyboard. It wasn't long before the success of his race landed him a match against an American hero. That hero was of course RedeemeR. Having decided that would be entirely too difficult the Polish community harrassed and barked at the administrators until a more lucrative match was made to replace the previously mentioned death sentence. Artosis was yanked away from a crime scene and asked if he would once again return to the game that had landed him in a loft with arthritis and low self esteem. He said no but was called a "pussy" and decided it best he deny such claims the only way he knew how: Losing publicly and being mad about it.
aTnClouD
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Italy2428 Posts
April 25 2008 07:45 GMT
#68
lol @ strelok holmes
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g64/hunter692007/kruemelmonsteryn0.gif
H
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
New Zealand6138 Posts
April 25 2008 08:10 GMT
#69
Dear god, Steve's Artosis bio is fucking artwork
[iHs]HCO | のヮの | pachi & plexa ownz | RIP _
Liquid`Drone
Profile Joined September 2002
Norway28701 Posts
April 25 2008 11:46 GMT
#70
oh steve
Moderator
Artosis *
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
United States2140 Posts
April 25 2008 12:08 GMT
#71
D:
Commentatorhttp://twitter.com/Artosis
SayaSP
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Laos5494 Posts
April 25 2008 17:05 GMT
#72
Cmon Artosis you know you love it
[iHs]SSP | I-NO-KI BOM-BA-YE | のヮの http://tinyurl.com/MLIStheCV , MLIS.
tttt
Profile Joined February 2008
United States386 Posts
April 25 2008 20:05 GMT
#73
On April 25 2008 15:06 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
Being Polish it was natural for Chris "Slider" Syzeksiziekxyz to be in capable of thinking for himself. So naturally, when there was a buzz on the polish websites about the new Olympic sport involving plastic lanes and water he was not going to sit this one out. With the 2008 Summer Olympics drawing near Syzeksiziekxyz earned his nickname by patenting the belly-dual shocker hands style that caught fire in local tourneys and earned him the title of top polish "Slider." With Slip'N'Sliding being the world's fastest growing sport his fame grew. Syzeksiziekxyz got used to being one of the best and success came easy to him. Eventually someone told him about the computer game "SC." He thought this was funny but gave it a shot. The game was stupid, boring and imbalanced until he accidentally selected protoss and found himself enjoying tremendous success with relatively low amounts of effort. A star was born. Chris "Slider" Syzeksiziekxyz had found a new activity. Reluctantly ditching his Olympic dreams he traded in his swim shorts and goggles for a slick mouse and wrist-pleasing keyboard. It wasn't long before the success of his race landed him a match against an American hero. That hero was of course RedeemeR. Having decided that would be entirely too difficult the Polish community harrassed and barked at the administrators until a more lucrative match was made to replace the previously mentioned death sentence. Artosis was yanked away from a crime scene and asked if he would once again return to the game that had landed him in a loft with arthritis and low self esteem. He said no but was called a "pussy" and decided it best he deny such claims the only way he knew how: Losing publicly and being mad about it.


Ahahahahahahaha
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