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Hi everybody! This is my one of my first posts. I feel like a loser posting on the internet where EVERYONE can read it, but I feel like I need to talk to someone - and the internet is my only friend. =( I spent over an hour getting this first paragraph JUST right, so please guys, don't make fun of it.
My name is... Edward and I am 18 years old and a Gemini. I think that once in a while, I get these ideas to do something really crazy, like roll down this big hill in my yard. Whoa is that some crazy stuff. One time I felt so bad I jumped into the pool with all of my clothes on. I could not believe I was such a wild and crazy guy while I sat there in the ice cold pool shivering my balls off.
Speaking of which. I am a guy, okay? Get that straight.
My friends... well I don't think I really have any friends. In 6th grade I felt like I had some friends but then I guess I figured out they just liked me since I was president of the Chess club and they wanted to feel special. That made me sad.
I want to grow up and be a pro wrestler. They have lots of people cheering them on and that would make me feel warm inside. They also have lots of girls. I think I want a girl. I think it was in 2nd grade when I had my last girlfriend. Her name was Young-Yoon and she was a Korean girl who wasn't pretty, but she was a nice person. I think her mom told her to go out with me though. I guess I broke up with her by pushing her off the monkey bars when she called me a ugly hee-soo. Whatever that means. Damn Koreans.
Well, that is my life. I hope being a Gemini will pay off with the planets aligning or whatnot sometime soon, because I need the stars on my side if I'll make anything of myself!
I guess I will go outside now. There is a rare breed of hummingbird outside my window - hummingus birdus is the scientific name I believe, and I want to take pictures!
-E
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Hey again everybody. I am at work right now. I work in New York City and I am a telemarketer. You all hate me. I know. I hate me too.
It's kind of cool what I sell though. I call all these people with the computer (I LOVE COMPUTERS THEY ARE SO SEXY. ESPECIALLY THE NEW iMACS) and I ask them if they want to buy a book on how to make balloon animals with a package of 50 balloons that comes with it for 19.95 + SH. (SH means shipping and handling. Don't worry, it took me a long time to get the jargon down too.)
Anyway, today I was at the water cooler filling up my one liter bottle (the doctor says I have to drink lots of water to be healthy) and the lady who works in the cubicle next to me (her name is Kelly and even though she is older than me she is still the young age of thirty-six and she is a very nice person) she said "Hey, Easy-E." I wanted to scream "I am Easy! Take me now!"
Luckily I was able to restrain myself and go to the potty, where I emptied out the last 2 liters I have had this morning. =)
Anyway. I have sold - 0 - books this morning. Hopefully selling some more later.
My boss is coming, gotta go.
-E
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Hi again everybody. I am leaving work in a few minutes but I wanted to write one more entry before the day is over. In a way, I feel like this is really helping me because some guy I read about said that everyone needs a form of self-expression. Well guys. I think this is mine.
Work was pretty uneventful. I called up the mother of this guy I went to elementary school with and got her to buy a balloon book pretty much out of guilt. But hey - I got my 5% commission.
Oh oh oh! And the best thing is that for lunch, I celebrated my sale with a turkey and mayonaise sandwich (my fave) and a vanilla coke. I used to like Cherry Coke a lot but this Vanilla coke stuff just makes cherry taste like my retainers after I haven't touched them for weeks!
Speaking of which, I should probably wear them every night like my orthodontist says I should. My teeth are starting to move and stuff and they're getting pretty crooked again. I don't like to put my retainers on though because when I wake up the morning after I can't even chew my daily granola bar. Sad.
I gotta run. Star Trek runs in half an hour and it takes 20 min to get home on my scooter.
-E
P.S. - I hope Kelly will come to work tomorrow in something tight and seduce me with some food item of the fruit variety.
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Star Trek was great. It was the episode when Lt. Commander Data discovers all these frozen people on this frozen space module. So what does he do? He beams them all back to the USS Enterprise-D. What an idiot. I mean. Come on. Frozen people = bad news.
Captain Picard was so badass in this episode. The Romulans - see they thought they could be all tough with him and shit but he was like 'phuck that' and he played their game by HIS rules and made the Romulans agree to an alliance they didn't see coming.
According to this episode the Federation has not had contact with the Romulans for over fifty years. How utterly weird. I didn't know that until I saw it today. I guess you learn something every day.
Anyway, after Star Trek: The Next Generation, I was really pumped, so I ate this really big bag of chips. In fact it was baked lays. (I think I can eat about a million bags of those.)
Anyway, I am really tired now (must be those chips), so I think I'm going to go to bed now. Good night, everyone. I'll write more tomorrow.
-E
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I was surfing the internet this morning and I found this online news source called The Onion. My gosh I wonder how they find so many people to go around the nation and cover everything so reliably.
The Onion's photographers also seem to be privy to some "candid shots" of people who are usually inaccessible because there was a shot of Lou Dobbs hosting "Moneyline" from a ledge! I'll bet The Onion photographers are undercover.
It is such a Democrat thing to set things up for ruin for the Republicans just so they can seem successful whenever they come into office. I was thinking "Hey it isn't his fault the economy has gone to poo. George Bush inherited a shaky economy from the democrats."
Today I am wearing green pants and a salmon-colored shirt with two breast-pockets. I like the two pockets because it's like a filing system that I can wear. I keep toothpicks, floss, and a small toothbrush in the left pocket, and paper, pens, post-it notes in the right pocket. Right for writing, left for hygeine, as I always say.
Alright i-gang, time to sell some books now.
-E
P.S. If it weren't for Kelly I'd have quit by now.
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So I was reading your comments everyone, and I noticed that some of you have decided to give me "e-props". Are these good for anything? Can you spend them? If you can win cool prizes by amassing e-props then that would be so cool.
You ever had a bag of doritos? You know how on the back they have "ploids"? Maybe eprops are like that. Maybe I can exchange my eprops for cool stuff. Like 200 e-props for a skateboard. That would rock.
I'm going to mail the Xanga team. (They gave me 1 e-prop) I'm going to ask them if they are spendable, and if so, a list of prizes.
I think Kelly reads this. I mean, I guess in a way I kind of wanted her to, since I put my feelings for her out there and all, but it is one thing to want it, and another to get it, you know? It's kind of scary since I have never initiated anything with a girl.
I like for them to talk to me. It makes them come into MY territory, you know? I mean it's unlikely they will reject you when they take the time to talk to you first. Maybe this is helping me become a new, more agressive Ed. An Ed who talks to girls!
I write all this because Kelly saw me writing in this earlier this morning, evidently, and she came up to me about half an hour ago and said pretty softly "I have something for you later." It's kind of exciting!
I wonder what it is. Is it e-props? That would rock.
Will keep you guys posted,
-E
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4492 Posts
At least you're only spamming one thread...
-Mynock
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Hey guys!!!
The COOLEST thing just happened!
When I got back from lunch I found a piece of white photocopy paper folded neatly in half with my name written in cursive near where the tape held the folded paper closed.
I undid the tape with a pencil and opened it up to see this crazy xerox mess. It took me a while to figure out what it was, but the paper was kind of scented with what seemed to hint at perfume. I studied it for a few minutes and finally figured it out.
->KELLY HAD XEROXED HER ASS FOR ME<-
In the corner, there was this handwriting that read, "You want some of this?"
You guys, this is totally cool. I think I'm gonna get a girl and I didn't even have to do anything! I folded the paper up so my boss can't see it and I put it in my right breat-pocket to save for later.
I'm kind of worried, and not too sure what I can say to her now. I don't know how to respond to her though. Should I talk to her? Should I start something? Or wait until she talks to me again about a time I can see her? This is really confusing, and I really don't know what to do.
Help me out, gang!
On a side note, Xanga mailed me back.
"E-props are not spendable. Sorry."
I think I could almost read, "You dumbass." between the lines.
Boss coming. More to come.
-E
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I talked to Kelly just now. She said she wants to "get together on the weekend for a little party. Just you and me".
I am going to tap a dent in that ass.
Getting on my scooter and high-tailing it home. I wanna work out. Later.
-E
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wtf 
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STFU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STFU STFU STFU!!!!!!!!!!!
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.... ?
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Korea (South)11601 Posts
umm you got to work and left work both at 13:59 cuz thats when they both were posted.
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1.) Hexa-post
2.) WTF
3.) Let me guess, you alway wanted to know how:
a) to get banned?
b) to get many posts?
c) to get attention?
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Norway28894 Posts
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EPT
