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Hey all,
My name's Andrew Groen, and I'm a writer in the games industry. I'm pretty new in the TL forums, so let me know if links like this are frowned upon. I couldn't quite tell whether this violated the policy set forth in the advertisement rules.
I did a couple pieces for PC Gamer over the weekend at PAX reporting on eSports events, and one of my articles was focused on SC2's presence at the show. It's also got photos from both the BarCraft (where Bomber was taking challengers) and from the Red Bull LAN Trial of the Xel'Naga where I was able to stitch together a panorama to show the entire venue.
It may be a little noobish for established SC2 fans (PC Gamer is more of a general audience than TL,) but I always like seeing SC2 in the headlines so I thought you guys might enjoy it.
Excerpt: "Amid all the laughter and cheering of this specific event, I actually looked back and saw the normally rather stony-faced pro-SC2 player INcontroL (click to glimpse said stony-face) practically giggling with his hands over his face as the Planet Cracker hovered forebodingly over a Zerg player’s base just barely out of range of destroying every structure the player had.
http://www.pcgamer.com/2012/09/05/starcraft-2-at-pax-prime-2012-review-needed/
Again, if this violates any rules, just let me know and I'll be happy to take it down.
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Nice article! I like your writing style!
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What demographic are you trying to write for? Anyone who is not a hardcore follower will have a hard time understanding the words and phrases you are using. I don't know the readership or demographics of PC Gamer, but you should be able to have access to that information.
Personally I would rather describe events than use terms like "medivac doom drop" or "a couple nuke drops and mothership beams." You did this here: "When this ability came into play, a neutral Mothership floated around the battlefield melting everything in sight with a doom beam of awesome." This is much better than "mothership beams."
I would also state players actual names and refer to their gamer tag/team name as an aside. This way the article would appear more professional. I mean no disrespect, but the entire piece, except for one paragraph, comes off HS newspaper article written an hour before it was due. You keep using I, is a news piece or a blog?
"Even seemingly small changes like giving a unit a new ability can fundamentally alter the game experience when playing at the highest level. Constantly changing the rules meant that any established strategies went out the window completely. Improvisation became just as important as practice and skill. This was like a jazz concert as opposed to a symphony. Or perhaps more appropriately, this was like a baseball game where the fans could choose to give the players jetpacks or loose a tiger onto the field."
The above is an excellent paragraph, it provides a clear analogy of what the event was and how it differs from a typical tournament.
Overall, the article is completely lackluster. The vocabulary and colloquialisms you used were childish and sometimes idiotic. ("There’s a simple yet exhilarating thrill in overhearing someone in public shout at their friend, “Dude, you have no right to talk! Infestors are ridiculously OP right now and the Queen patch completely negates hellion harass. What else do you want!?” It’ll send a chill up your spine.") I doubt the page view bump you'll get from posting this will increase your ad revenue, you'd be better off refining your articles instead of posting them under the guise of critique to score cheap ad dollars.
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On September 07 2012 09:07 TeslasPigeon wrote:
What demographic are you trying to write for? Anyone who is not a hardcore follower will have a hard time understanding the words and phrases you are using. I don't know the readership or demographics of PC Gamer, but you should be able to have access to that information.
Personally I would rather describe events than use terms like "medivac doom drop" or "a couple nuke drops and mothership beams." You did this here: "When this ability came into play, a neutral Mothership floated around the battlefield melting everything in sight with a doom beam of awesome." This is much better than "mothership beams."
I would also state players actual names and refer to their gamer tag/team name as an aside. This way the article would appear more professional. I mean no disrespect, but the entire piece, except for one paragraph, comes off HS newspaper article written an hour before it was due. You keep using I, is a news piece or a blog?
"Even seemingly small changes like giving a unit a new ability can fundamentally alter the game experience when playing at the highest level. Constantly changing the rules meant that any established strategies went out the window completely. Improvisation became just as important as practice and skill. This was like a jazz concert as opposed to a symphony. Or perhaps more appropriately, this was like a baseball game where the fans could choose to give the players jetpacks or loose a tiger onto the field."
The above is an excellent paragraph, it provides a clear analogy of what the event was and how it differs from a typical tournament.
Overall, the article is completely lackluster. The vocabulary and colloquialisms you used were childish and sometimes idiotic. ("There’s a simple yet exhilarating thrill in overhearing someone in public shout at their friend, “Dude, you have no right to talk! Infestors are ridiculously OP right now and the Queen patch completely negates hellion harass. What else do you want!?” It’ll send a chill up your spine.") I doubt the page view bump you'll get from posting this will increase your ad revenue, you'd be better off refining your articles instead of posting them under the guise of critique to score cheap ad dollars.
At no point did the OP ask for critique. Appears he only wanted to draw attention to its existence and the coverage of the event in general... but feel free to throw $.02 around wherever you feel necessary.
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On September 07 2012 10:05 BoZiffer wrote:Show nested quote +On September 07 2012 09:07 TeslasPigeon wrote:
What demographic are you trying to write for? Anyone who is not a hardcore follower will have a hard time understanding the words and phrases you are using. I don't know the readership or demographics of PC Gamer, but you should be able to have access to that information.
Personally I would rather describe events than use terms like "medivac doom drop" or "a couple nuke drops and mothership beams." You did this here: "When this ability came into play, a neutral Mothership floated around the battlefield melting everything in sight with a doom beam of awesome." This is much better than "mothership beams."
I would also state players actual names and refer to their gamer tag/team name as an aside. This way the article would appear more professional. I mean no disrespect, but the entire piece, except for one paragraph, comes off HS newspaper article written an hour before it was due. You keep using I, is a news piece or a blog?
"Even seemingly small changes like giving a unit a new ability can fundamentally alter the game experience when playing at the highest level. Constantly changing the rules meant that any established strategies went out the window completely. Improvisation became just as important as practice and skill. This was like a jazz concert as opposed to a symphony. Or perhaps more appropriately, this was like a baseball game where the fans could choose to give the players jetpacks or loose a tiger onto the field."
The above is an excellent paragraph, it provides a clear analogy of what the event was and how it differs from a typical tournament.
Overall, the article is completely lackluster. The vocabulary and colloquialisms you used were childish and sometimes idiotic. ("There’s a simple yet exhilarating thrill in overhearing someone in public shout at their friend, “Dude, you have no right to talk! Infestors are ridiculously OP right now and the Queen patch completely negates hellion harass. What else do you want!?” It’ll send a chill up your spine.") I doubt the page view bump you'll get from posting this will increase your ad revenue, you'd be better off refining your articles instead of posting them under the guise of critique to score cheap ad dollars. At no point did the OP ask for critique. Appears he only wanted to draw attention to its existence and the coverage of the event in general... but feel free to throw $.02 around wherever you feel necessary.
I'll try and remember to continue the circle jerk next time, until then he can earn his ad views by writing competent articles.
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The advertisement thing is directed twords teams mainly.
Good press: really happy TL'ers. =)
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yeah nice article! and thx!
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Thanks guys. Glad to see some folks got something out of it. Like I said, it's probably too basic for most of us here, but its written for the average PC player with only a passing familiarity of the SC2 scene.
@TeslasPigeon
I definitely use some bywords and SC2 jargon here and there, but I always try to do it in such a way that it's easy to get the gist of what I'm trying to say. It's fairly easy for any gamer to understand that when I say "a lucky medivac doom drop" I just mean a lucky haymaker. Even if they don't know what a medivac is, they'll get the idea.
And I do genuinely appreciate the feedback, even if it was given with an odd amount of vitriol. Just be real about what you're saying. Don't say "I mean no disrespect" followed by telling me the article read like a highschool newspaper piece and "the vocabulary and colloquialisms you used were childish and sometimes idiotic."
Haha You mean disrespect, so just own it. That said, in the future you should be nicer to people. It's very nerve wracking to put your work out there in front of a specialist audience like TL, and it sucks to have it ripped up like that.
Oh, and I'm just a freelance writer with PC Gamer, so page views aren't my concern. I just write things I think people would like to read, and things I think I can sell to the editors.
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EPT
