[R] college essay

artofmagic

United States1951 Posts

October 17 2005 03:31 GMT

so today i figured out that i was rank #51 out of 491 students. My score is 86 point something. I missed the top 10% rank tile by a few points. Rank #1 was the score of 96 and 89point can get me to rank#20-30.. so there were less competition than I thought... Now i feel depressed on why should I not done better.

so now i have to worry about SAT, SATII, interviews and college essay to achieve my college of choice.

Anyone have any college essay tips? do and don'ts?

HULKAMANIA

United States1219 Posts

October 17 2005 03:35 GMT

I got your college essay tips right here, boss:

1) Read the question carefully and answer the whole thing.
2) Use active verbs and include specific details.
3) Support every generalization with evidence.
4) Cut out extra words.
5) Make your introduction and conclusion clear. Use transitions to get from one to the other.

If you follow those guidelines, you'll have a hard time writing poorly.

Prawned

United Kingdom794 Posts

October 17 2005 03:44 GMT

Ask tl.net to do it for you. Seems to be a popular trend.

PaeZ

Mexico1627 Posts

October 17 2005 03:52 GMT

wow you got really high considering.... but yeah, as Hulk said, always be specific and concise, don't exagerate or overelaborate things, write clearly, direct to the point, and along those guidelines Hulk said, you will perform oustanding, good luck in your tests :D

artofmagic

United States1951 Posts

October 17 2005 03:58 GMT

thanks for tips.. more tips is welcomed..
i really want to have a career on technology and i dont wanna be some minor worker sucking up to their boss. i wanna take action and impact the world.. so yea.. i need to go to some great colleges inorder to achieve that.

naventus

United States1337 Posts

October 17 2005 22:15 GMT

On October 17 2005 12:58 artofmagic wrote:
thanks for tips.. more tips is welcomed..
i really want to have a career on technology and i dont wanna be some minor worker sucking up to their boss. i wanna take action and impact the world.. so yea.. i need to go to some great colleges inorder to achieve that.

To have an impact on the world is not tied in any way to what college you go to. Getting a stable/high ranking job may be. But if you really have the balls and personality to be a shaker, where you go for college is highly irrelevant.

Tien

Russian Federation4447 Posts

October 17 2005 22:54 GMT

Depressed over that? Jeez, its just one essay or test that wont make a difference whatsoever in your life in the long run.

Atleast you didn't fail.

Hot_Bid

Braavos36400 Posts

October 17 2005 23:00 GMT

the essay doesn't matter nearly as much as your grades and SAT... i'd study like mad for the standardized test then worry about your essays

actually, your grades actually matter quite a bit more. my school was highly competitive and i was ranked similarly to you (like #41 out of 550 or so) but got a high SAT score (1550) and predictably didn't get into any of the top tier Ivy's (yale, princeton) but did for the lesser ones (cornell).

my essay was really good but i don't think it mattered much. i'd say don't be afraid to write about something out of the ordinary, as long as you put enough effort into the writing... don't write a generic one that they just hear again and again. you won't stand out. obviously don't write about punk rock or starcraft, but definitely something other than "i want to make a difference".

ZaplinG

United States3818 Posts

October 17 2005 23:28 GMT

When you say you are depressed about being ranked 51, it makes me want to throw up.
I think people take this stuff too seriously.
Here is a tip: Write with a thesaurus and replace your dull words with things more vibrant and colorfull.

Hot_Bid

Braavos36400 Posts

October 17 2005 23:38 GMT

#10

using academic vocabulary is a good idea, but replacing words solely by using a thesaurus is not a good idea. more often it leads to awkward and improper usage rather than impressed admissions officials. all it takes is one misused word (even slightly) for them to realize you're just trying to puff up your essay. it's very clear when people are using words they don't normally use in their regular writing. you can use a thesaurus, but do not make the essay to flowery.

ZaplinG

United States3818 Posts

October 17 2005 23:43 GMT

#11

Of course you dont want to randomly choose a word that would disrupt the flow of the paper. I was just saying that its nice to mix it up a little bit.

KH1031

United States862 Posts

October 17 2005 23:50 GMT

#12

if you look good attach a pic of yourself and on the back put down your #

Tien

Russian Federation4447 Posts

October 18 2005 00:18 GMT

#13

I wonder how he would feel if he received a 45% on a physics exam like I did one time.

Depressed? Nah, he would suicide. Lol.

HULKAMANIA

United States1219 Posts

October 18 2005 02:27 GMT

#14

Ok, man, if you’re serious about improving your essays, I can give you some more thorough advice on how to do it. But first off, let me tell you where I’m coming from:

I went to college to major in classics because I owned at Latin in high school. Then I switched majors to philosophy. Then I switched schools twice and settled on an getting an English major. Obviously foresight isn’t my strong suite, but writing always has been, specifically essay writing. And I’ve been in writing intensive fields of study my entire college career. Currently, I work part time tutoring Samford athletes in English, which boils down to editing a shitload of essays.

Those five rules I posted at the start of this thread are the same five rules I give to all my students. If you adhere to them religiously, they’ll transform a weak essay into a passable one, a passable essay into a strong one, and a strong essay into a damn fine essay. But I wrote them for folks who have little to no writing experience. Judging by your academic ambitions (which I support by the way—the college you choose will make a difference as to where you go in life), I assume that you’re a pretty good student. So, I’ll go ahead summarize some more I know about what makes a good essay, and you can learn from it what you will. Here it is, HULKAMANIA’s Brief Guide to Writing like a Champ:

Write like you have a pair.

OK, let’s face it: we’re not all Bill Shakespeare. You’re not going to wow the world with every essay you write. But you can learn to write clearly and effectively, which will serve you well for the rest of your life. Don’t be one of those dumbasses who try to hide their cluelessness behind complicated verbage. Say what you want to say in assured, plain talk. Here are a couple easy ways to improve the clarity of your prose:

1) Write like you talk; use simple words.

When I get bogged down trying to express something in an essay, I like to imagine how I would say it to a friend of mine or to my professor. Most folks communicate much better through conversation than writing because most folks view writing as some strange, esoteric art. Then they adopt some academic vocabulary and stilted syntax and completely botch their delivery. Writing doesn’t require an entirely different diction. It’s more formal, yes. But it’s not all that different from having a slow, deliberate conversation with a friend.

If you find yourself writing something which you would never say, chances are that it will sound forced and pretentious. Talk to yourself out loud when you’re writing. See how the words sound. You can even read what you’ve written to someone else, and then see if they can tell you what your main idea was. If don’t have any trouble parroting your point, you’re writing clearly.

2) Don’t do what ZaplinG advised you to do; Avoid the thesaurus when you write.

There’s no good reason to use “perspiration” when “sweat” will do. There’s no good reason to write “eudaimonia” when you really mean “gladness.” If you go randomly grabbing words from the thesaurus, you’re likely to use a word with a unexpected connotation or one which fits poorly in the context of your sentence, and you might end up looking like an idiot. Stick to the plain words you know. Again, if you feel like you would use that word in conversation, if you feel like it fits, go for it. If not, close that thesaurus and write how you would write.

3) Use the active voice. Here’s a quick English lesson for you:

Active: Hulk Hogan smashed the table.
Passive: The table was smashed by Hulk Hogan.

In the first example, the subject of the sentence (THE HULKSTER!) acted on the object of the sentence (the table). The subject performed the action. In the second sentence, the subject (which was the table that time), was acted on. The subject received the action. Now you can decide for yourself what you think, but most people respond better to the active voice rather than the passive voice. The active voice strengthens your writing while the passive voice waters it down.

4) Use action verbs.

T. S. Eliot called it “muscular syntax.” Basically, verbs can accomplish a lot more than we tend to let them accomplish. They can give a sentence oomph. They make sentences pop. But students tend to neglect them because it is easier to use “to-be” and linking verbs. See? In that last sentence, I could have written:

“because they (students) find “to-be” and linking verbs easier to use.”

Or

“because “to-be” and linking verbs come more readily to mind.”

In either case, I could have avoided a form of “is,” which tends to fill a sentence with dead space, and replaced it with a stronger, more lively verb. Don’t say, “The teacher was being forceful with us about our classwork.” Say, “The teacher forced us to do classwork.”

Punctuate and spell properly.

Now punctuation isn’t rocket science, but you can’t master it overnight, either. But if you take the time to set good punctuation habits, you’ll improve your writing dramatically. Punctuation organizes the words on the page. It helps classify them and makes the ideas they convey more accessible to the readers. The more signs of punctuation that you can employ properly, the more flexible you’ll be as a writer. Sometimes a comma and a conjunction will join two independent clauses just fine, but sometimes you just need a semicolon there. Knowing how to use both gives you more freedom. It’s like Starcraft: the more strategies you can execute flawlessly, the more easily you can rip your opponent a new one.

But, like I said, you can’t just flick on the punctuation light-switch. While you master punctuation (which is basically a lifelong process), you should rely on someone else to edit your papers for you, someone who knows more than you do about punctuation and grammar.

I don’t know if you know anyone like that so I’ll just make an offer right here. In fact, I’ll make this a standing offer to all TL.net. If anyone needs me to proofread a paper, I’ll gladly do it for you to the best of my ability. Just PM me for my e-mail address and then send it to me. If you give me advance enough notice, I’ll edit whatever you send me.

But, back to the spiel, you can practice your punctuation easily. Just make an effort to punctuate every post that you make correctly. If you find out that you don’t know how to punctuate what you’re trying to say, go look it up online. Anyone can google up a decent writing manual. But I can’t overstate how much practice will improve your writing. If you put in the effort and concentration it takes to write properly and effectively, you’ll get better at it; it will become second nature.

As for spelling, you have www.dictionary.com. Also, spell check seems to catch most mistakes these days. Just make sure you don’t confuse homophones. And spell “lose” (as in, “Andre the Giant will lose when Hulk Hogan bodyslams his fat ass”) with one “o” for God’s sake. It’s not “loose.”

Rewrite, rewrite, rewrite.

Rewriting takes time and energy, but you’ll turn in better essays when the dust settles. For me, this usually means printing the paper out, finding a red pen and a quiet place, and reading through it so slowly and carefully I want to cry. Check your paper for everything. Check that it makes sense. Check that you’ve done your grammar, spelling, and punctuation perfectly. Hunt down passive sentences and eradicate them. Switch out weak verbs for stronger ones. And, in addition to all this, cut, cut, and cut some more. Cut out extra words.

If I were to edit this post, I would probably make at least thirty changes. I might make upwards of fifty; some of them might be drastic ones. But the correction I would make most often would be dragging my little, red ink pen straight across a word to obliterate from the record forever. Brevity is the soul of wit. Likewise, thrift is the soul of good writing. Never say with ten words something you could say in five; you’re just giving your reader more room to get lost. Be especially critical of your adjectives and adverbs. Are they necessary? Do they add something to the sentence or do they distract? Like I said before, I firmly believe in straightforward, uncluttered writing. It’s hard to muddle up your essay if you restrict the amount of words you allow yourself to use. You’ll end up keeping only the necessary ones, the good ones.

But that about does it for me. I hope you can glean some useful knowledge from this mammoth post. If you have any questions, post them up here, and I’ll try to field them. Maybe one day I’ll go back, edit this post, and actually make it adhere to all the rules I put forth in it. Good writing takes sweat and time, man. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Good luck on your essays.

Hot_Bid

Braavos36400 Posts

October 18 2005 02:30 GMT

#15

great post hulkamania! a very detailed and accurate guide to basic essay writing.

it's amazing how many college students (smart ones, from good colleges) don't follow those basic rules and are just horrible at writing essays.