The Shikyo Memorial for QQ Therapy

Fildun is a little bit hurt


To which petered responds

The more you know.

I sometimes think of LoL not as a game, but a psychologist's twisted experiment designed to tease out man's emotional, mental, and spiritual breaking point. Some days the malevolent scientist in the sky merely feathers the LoL rage throttle. A DC here, a feeder there, jungler talking shit every game. Stuff like that. We wring our hands and shake our fists, but for the most part we keep our composure and play on.

When that rage throttle gets cranked up, though, we find that we have, as Fildun says, a fucking limit. Maybe it was that guy going 0/14 and flaming you, or maybe it was that brain dead ADC with a runaans and no last whisper late game. For me it is usually just the existence of junglers.

Whatever the case, we reach our fucking limit and begin to lose our already tenuous grip on humanity. Your blood pressure skies so quickly that the room begins to spin as you scramble to translate your desperate anger into words directed at your nemesis. The words, however, become incomprehensible as any sense of consciousness gets crowded out by the force of your primal rage. The once calm summoner has transformed into a fount of molten hatred, banging his fists against his keyboards in a futile attempt to communicate even a fraction of pain you have been forced to endure.

Such is the nature of LoL, I hope the scientist in the sky can make sense of it all.

Oh shit, Riot caught wind of this and is designing a new resource system that really isn't a resource since you can't run out of it, but provides the illusion of having to make strategic choices.
It is called "motivation" and all your champion has to do to build it up is to literally do anything but stand in fountain and pout. Apparently promotes aggressive gameplay and counters anti-fun. GG riot.

If you haven't noticed, I find Fildun's posts rather funny, two in a row! I wish you many dreary, feeder-filled games my friend. May we continue to reap the generous fruit of your tears.

I'd like to think that this thread is a sort of all-purpose forum trash can. That 0-10 jungler needn't be the only thing that brings you here, sometimes the colossal failure of modern american english should be enough to do it as well. This isn't a recycling bin, folks, this shit goes straight to the internet landfill.

That being said, the day that some genius mod starts directing the girl problem blog posts to this thread is the day I quit. Even we don't stoop that low.

One of the rarest responses I ever have to a post in this thread is to actually feel bad for them, but this post made my heart hurt. I salute you, brave Inquisitor, for carrying on in the face of four 4 DC losses in one weekend. Your demeanor implies the stoutest of character.

Also, fuck those dumbass junglers who "help" their mid, not pausing to think about the ramifications of donating a kill and double buffs to the opposing mid in a volatile, snowbally lane. Hey shitface, that level 6 mid can blow up your level fucking 4 ass in two seconds, back the fuck off. For a more complete, but certainly not exhaustive, list of jungler sins, please consult Djagulingu's post below.

What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, self control. Commendable, GrandInquisitor!

That right there is literally the farthest anyone has ever read into an Alaric QQ post and yet the guy still writes a fuckin book every time. Mad props.

Let's put this into context. You just put 30-40 minutes into the inherently unproductive activity of making your digital guys beat up on other people's digital guys. One of millions of ultimately meaningless competitions that happens everyday. There is, undeniably, no greater purpose to playing this game outside of competing and winning, which leads to a temporary, unfulfilling sense of enjoyment that, however fleeting, is reward enough for most of us.

But our philosophical lux has managed to squeeze every last bit of possible contentment from this game. No longer is meaningless victory at a meaningless game required, simply the misguided, ill conceived attempt was enough for her.
O how I pity and envy this beautiful Lux.

If simply watching something made you good at it, well, lets just say that more than a few of us would be studs in the bedroom.

Making excuses, typical jungler. I thought wood was your specialty (heh heh).

Aw, it is like a parent complaining about their two year old who is causing problems. You'll learn to love him Kipsate!
I heard he likes it when you name threads after him.

In a related note:

Shikyo nooooooooooo.
At least he didn't get banned for complaining about teammates in the general discussion thread. I think he is maturing.

You are an icon for our generation, little fancy. Lead us to the promised land of racial equality.

Being on the NA server I miss the days of getting random Brazilian premades. jajaja huehuehue.

I understand losing against beginner bots. When you are learning the game you have to start somewhere. I am still trying to wrap my mind around the thought of actually surrendering to a machine, though. Have some dignity. I imagine the chat in Enki's game went something like this:

Summoner1: WAVE TEH WHITE FLAG BOYS, WE CAN'T COMPETE WITH THEIR ROBOTIC SUPERIORITY.
Summoner2: I, for one, accept our new robot overlords
Summoner3: Annie bot OP (this is 100% true, actually)

I fear LoL isn't doing its part to raise up the next John Connors.

The Shikyo QQ thread has traditionally resorted to words strung together in the form of sentences to communicate our anger. jcarlsoniv has ditched such conventions in favor of a more primal outburst of anger. In the space of a single line of seemingly random letters, he has managed to communicate as much and more than the schmucks who post 500 word essays on the failings of their teammates (which no one else reads, lets me honest).

What injustice has caused this anger? We don't know. Who is his anger directed towards? We don't know. Do these things really matter? Deep down in your heart you know they don't.
We do, however, know the width and the depth of jcarlsoniv's anger. And let me tell you, internet, it is fierce. It is fierce indeed.

He writes this message at 12:25 on August 10th

I am a big proponent of releasing your rage verbally in a non destructive manner. I welcome a host of FUCKKITY FUCKS and rage poems and bitching. Even so, plasmidghost is going beyond healthy anger. Any time an activity you partake in during your free time spawns a desire to chainsaw another person's face, some sort of perspective is needed.

Then, a mere 25 minutes later at 12:50 on August 10th, mr plasmidghost writes this:

Oh the transformation! No longer does plasmid harbor desire for gruesome vengeance, he simply wishes people would stop bitching. No longer is he going to uninstall a game he has clearly spent a lot of time playing, instead he wants to keep playing. This, my friends, is the power of the Shikyo Memorial for QQ therapy thread. We make the world a better place, one chainsaw massacre prevention at a time.

Look, we have a similar situation with TheKefka. At 6:13 he posts:

And behold, after the Shikyo thread has worked its magic a minute later he posts:

....not everyone can be helped.

I am intensely curious as to why this individual thought it necessary to revive hitler to do the gassing. If you are already praying to the most evil being and convincing him to enact your will, why not cut out the middle man and just have satan himself do the gassing? It is questions like this that keep me up at night.

petered's comments: This is why we play. Getting wins is merely a byproduct of the process of becoming greatness. The LoCi thread is everything we hope to be.
Of course you could just read it and realize that half the posts are: I won with champion Y, my score was 2X-X-1.5X. Feels good man.

petered's comments:
"Is it vain to quote yourself? Yes. Get over it."
- petered

petered's comments: When I was first learning to drive, I accidentally backed into my grandparents car when driving to school. My grandpa later told me, "Well the car is already damaged so you might as well get out there and get some more practice backing out of the driveway."
I see this soraka is wise beyond her years.

petered's comments: I completely agree that the tribunal system sucks and we should revert to the old jungle. We need to stand together as a united communinity. Well put eits.

petered's comments: Other brilliant ideas this twitch has had:
- I won't buy wards as Sona so they won't know I am the support
- I won't buy AD on vayne so they won't know I'm the AD carry
- I won't buy armor on rammus so they won't know I am the tank
A new meta is taking the LoL scene by storm.

petered's comments: QQ about QQers is still QQ bro. Besides, you take the high road now but we all know you are going to get some hotshot singed going 0-8 in the first 5 minutes of the game and then you will be down here in the slime with the rest of us.
Check out the rest of his intellectual rant (crying) on page 63.
(the singed story is from my last game, QQ)

petered's comments: QQ manifests itself in many forms on the internet. CAPS LOCK rage, sputtering indignation, or in the case of our brave numbers, poetic melancholy. Yes, suffering inspires the most beautiful artwork. Let us hope that we can all be so productive in the time of our despair.

petered's comments: Real QQ about < level 30 teammates is silly in general, but this one made me nostalgic for the days when I was just learning LoL. I would pick heimer and just keep setting turrets closer and closer to their tower until the tower was shooting me and I would die. Also I died to every gank ever but it didn't occur to me until level 15 or so that I shouldn't auto attack and spam abilities in lane. Also funny is that I saw a tournament game where someone did this exact thing (bumrush tower with no one there) in order to get free damage on tower. Maybe this noob was in fact a visionary?

petered's comments: Southlight is kinda like that teacher you had in middle school. You give perfectly legitimate reasons for not getting your homework done and he tells you to try harder and do better next time.