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I did that exact same things you did OP. It's been a long thread and you might not come across this post but here's how it went with me when I finally overcame rage.
I was in skype with a bud just talking casually while playing a 1v1. I lost again to something I was mentally prepared for. Lost my shit. I had a cup of wine on the table that I was going to have after the match. Slammed my fist on the table, that shit went all over my keyboard and fried it. My friend heard it all, commented that I had "some issues". That right then and there I realized how stupid it all was. I didn't ever rage again, I just stopped raging and treated the game for what it was, a game.
I don't know how it happened, but something in me just snapped. I had enough. No more raging. I gain nothing from raging. And from then on I improved A LOT with my new zen-like mentality. I dunno man it'll randomly come to you at some point. But if it really cuts into your real life then maybe you should really distance yourself from the game.
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On May 13 2013 11:49 Snuggles wrote:
I did that exact same things you did OP. It's been a long thread and you might not come across this post but here's how it went with me when I finally overcame rage.
I was in skype with a bud just talking casually while playing a 1v1. I lost again to something I was mentally prepared for. Lost my shit. I had a cup of wine on the table that I was going to have after the match. Slammed my fist on the table, that shit went all over my keyboard and fried it. My friend heard it all, commented that I had "some issues". That right then and there I realized how stupid it all was. I didn't ever rage again, I just stopped raging and treated the game for what it was, a game.
I don't know how it happened, but something in me just snapped. I had enough. No more raging. I gain nothing from raging. And from then on I improved A LOT with my new zen-like mentality. I dunno man it'll randomly come to you at some point. But if it really cuts into your real life then maybe you should really distance yourself from the game.
I never had very big issues in the first place, but I would occasionally slam my desk with an open palm or yell "FUCK" really loud (that was about the extent). Personally I thought that was far, far too much. Eventually one day I just felt "wow, this is really childish, if anyone else saw how pitiful this video game makes me look I'd be super embarrassed."
And that was it. I just don't really rage anymore. I just don't care. I don't care about getting better at Starcraft in the slightest because it doesn't improve the rest of my life in anyway. It doesn't make me more likely to get promoted in my career. It didn't make me get better grades in high school / college. It definitely in no way ever helped me get laid. And really, is wasn't that great of a stress reliever. So what did it offer?
Just start considering it mindless entertainment. That was literally enough for me. Has been for years now. And I play this game a lot, at top masters level as random.
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I think anger is a normal feeling so I wouldn't try to keep it in. However I would start for sure with no more hits or any other act of phisical violence. That's just stupid imo and is also easier to control than the pure psychological aspect.
That said I find really strange that videogames are the only thing that makes you so upset. Generally the anger for videogames is related with the personality of some people. If you are a very competitive person it's likely that you hate to lose at anything, especially when you know you're underperforming and should win instead. However if it were the case you would also experience anger in other fields, atleast in other sport/games.
That said, is also true that generally people feel truly angry just for the things which they care more. So maybe you are just giving too much importance to the game (considering you are not a pro) or simply you're not approaching it with the correct mindset.
It would be interesting to know the exact situations that trigger your anger. Does it happens every time you lose? Beside the anger, do you accept your losses?
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On May 11 2013 17:13 Lauriel wrote:Show nested quote +On May 11 2013 14:49 Jrocker152 wrote:On May 11 2013 14:12 BronzeKnee wrote:On May 11 2013 14:08 VasHeR wrote:
If you love sc2 and play it all the time, maybe you should set up a stream that you can run ads from. People will probably come to watch you rage (like how many people watch NASCAR hoping for a crash). This will allow you to (1) profit from your anger, (2) get immediate feedback after every game about what tactical decisions, micro errors, or otherwise led to your loss, and (3) give you an appropriate place and audience to vent your frustrations.
good luck This sounds like a terrible idea... So he sets up the stream, loses, rages, but we'll need a camera in his room where he plays, so we can see him smash stuff. Also let's also setup a camera in his car, so we can watch his "rage runs" as he speeds recklessly around the streets before coming back to que up another game. Yes, sounds like that would attract the appropriate therapeutic audience... Fact is, when he is raging he won't listen to the game play feedback and it won't help him appropriately calm himself. What he needs to do is figure out what makes him rage. Is he mad at his opponent? Himself? The game? That is really the first step, because before coming up to a solution we have to know the problem. Solving each of those requires a different response. 100% agreed. Anyway, have you seen "The Greatest Game"? (Golf movie, Shia ?LeBeouf?)? I recommend. Finally, what general area do you live in- about driving. This can lead to a therapeutic vent possibility, so... I'm not being a creeper, I doth swear. My location is all over TL anyway. I have not. And without getting too specific, I live in central Texas.
Ok- cool. So if you are near open spaces, I don't care what kind I car you drive but when that happens, roll the windows/put the top down. (Get as much airflow running through the vehicle as possible.)
1. This helps you to appreciate the speed you are traveling at. May not work, but it affects your subconscious too I believe so should slow you down whether you know it or not. And it lets you vent a bit, yes, but that is far from the goal. Don't yell at ppl if you can avoid it, or get out of town first...
If you are in a cool city (Texas has plenty) the sounds of people milling about could work either way. Otherwise, if not too expensive, look up scenic routes and get out of town. This is 2. I live in Palm Desert, a Palm Springs suburb. So I have the convenience o being able to check out Palm Springs or head to sky valley when I get stressed. Sky valley at night is the creepiest, most beautiful spot on a night with a full moon. Amazing rage/sadness/stress killer.
Even if you're in TeFLATxas, there are great vistas! Even if you can't appreciate them, and it doesn't help, at least roll the windows down, open sunroof or top.
Source: I've hit rough times in the past and this helped me. So if not this sorry, I've got nothing sir.
Edit: hits can be therapeutic! But get a punching bag, or similar. Then, not only do you vent, you exercise!
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On May 13 2013 10:50 Sokrates wrote:Show nested quote +On May 13 2013 10:21 Scarecrow wrote:On May 13 2013 10:04 Sokrates wrote:
It is really interesting how people from the US are advising therapy for such a minor issue. Paying a lot of money to rage less in sc2 sounds really weird to me. And i also think the OP can fix his issues by himself...
I really wonder if this "go see a therapist" thing is something you would get recommended in the US more often than in other (western) countries. It's not just regular rage though, he's actually putting his own life and those of others at risk. There's clearly some underlying issue/s that would benefit from therapy. Talking to a professional makes for a far easier fix than trying to work it all out by yourself. 1.Costs a lot of money. 2.Takes time. 3.No success guaranteed. 4.Minor issue. 5.How do you know there is "clearly underlying issue" here and not just the rage at a game? Just a total exaggeration with "putting his and the life of others at risk". A lot of people are stressed out, sleep deprived etc. etc. and driving anyway. Not that it is a good thing but that is just the reality. "Oh you didnt sleep barely at all, well now you are putting your and the life of others at risk." I guess nobody ever would make that excuse in front of his boss. And then again it would be much smarter to try out some simple things like puniching a boxingbag or whatever before you consider "therapy" and waste a lot of money. I just dont get that concept of "go see a therapist"...
On this, some people have been driving 16 hours (hello there) and that is not safe. The necessity of it can add to the pressure. I have been in one accident in my life. Her fault.
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On May 13 2013 11:49 Snuggles wrote:
I did that exact same things you did OP. It's been a long thread and you might not come across this post but here's how it went with me when I finally overcame rage.
I was in skype with a bud just talking casually while playing a 1v1. I lost again to something I was mentally prepared for. Lost my shit. I had a cup of wine on the table that I was going to have after the match. Slammed my fist on the table, that shit went all over my keyboard and fried it. My friend heard it all, commented that I had "some issues". That right then and there I realized how stupid it all was. I didn't ever rage again, I just stopped raging and treated the game for what it was, a game.
I don't know how it happened, but something in me just snapped. I had enough. No more raging. I gain nothing from raging. And from then on I improved A LOT with my new zen-like mentality. I dunno man it'll randomly come to you at some point. But if it really cuts into your real life then maybe you should really distance yourself from the game.
Yeah, I think this thread may actually have been that realization for me. I've played probably close to 100 games since posting it, and I haven't raged once yet. Here's hoping!
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On May 13 2013 12:51 Jrocker152 wrote:Show nested quote +On May 11 2013 17:13 Lauriel wrote:On May 11 2013 14:49 Jrocker152 wrote:On May 11 2013 14:12 BronzeKnee wrote:On May 11 2013 14:08 VasHeR wrote:
If you love sc2 and play it all the time, maybe you should set up a stream that you can run ads from. People will probably come to watch you rage (like how many people watch NASCAR hoping for a crash). This will allow you to (1) profit from your anger, (2) get immediate feedback after every game about what tactical decisions, micro errors, or otherwise led to your loss, and (3) give you an appropriate place and audience to vent your frustrations.
good luck This sounds like a terrible idea... So he sets up the stream, loses, rages, but we'll need a camera in his room where he plays, so we can see him smash stuff. Also let's also setup a camera in his car, so we can watch his "rage runs" as he speeds recklessly around the streets before coming back to que up another game. Yes, sounds like that would attract the appropriate therapeutic audience... Fact is, when he is raging he won't listen to the game play feedback and it won't help him appropriately calm himself. What he needs to do is figure out what makes him rage. Is he mad at his opponent? Himself? The game? That is really the first step, because before coming up to a solution we have to know the problem. Solving each of those requires a different response. 100% agreed. Anyway, have you seen "The Greatest Game"? (Golf movie, Shia ?LeBeouf?)? I recommend. Finally, what general area do you live in- about driving. This can lead to a therapeutic vent possibility, so... I'm not being a creeper, I doth swear. My location is all over TL anyway. I have not. And without getting too specific, I live in central Texas. Ok- cool. So if you are near open spaces, I don't care what kind I car you drive but when that happens, roll the windows/put the top down. (Get as much airflow running through the vehicle as possible.) 1. This helps you to appreciate the speed you are traveling at. May not work, but it affects your subconscious too I believe so should slow you down whether you know it or not. And it lets you vent a bit, yes, but that is far from the goal. Don't yell at ppl if you can avoid it, or get out of town first... If you are in a cool city (Texas has plenty) the sounds of people milling about could work either way. Otherwise, if not too expensive, look up scenic routes and get out of town. This is 2. I live in Palm Desert, a Palm Springs suburb. So I have the convenience o being able to check out Palm Springs or head to sky valley when I get stressed. Sky valley at night is the creepiest, most beautiful spot on a night with a full moon. Amazing rage/sadness/stress killer. Even if you're in TeFLATxas, there are great vistas! Even if you can't appreciate them, and it doesn't help, at least roll the windows down, open sunroof or top. Source: I've hit rough times in the past and this helped me. So if not this sorry, I've got nothing sir. Edit: hits can be therapeutic! But get a punching bag, or similar. Then, not only do you vent, you exercise!
I live in the coolest city in Texas (well, I think so anyway), so there's always something to take my mind off of it. Also, I think getting outside more in general will help. I think a lot of my raging is the result of just having spare energy to burn and no good way to get rid of it sometimes.
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On May 13 2013 12:24 RedFury wrote:
I think anger is a normal feeling so I wouldn't try to keep it in. However I would start for sure with no more hits or any other act of phisical violence. That's just stupid imo and is also easier to control than the pure psychological aspect.
That said I find really strange that videogames are the only thing that makes you so upset. Generally the anger for videogames is related with the personality of some people. If you are a very competitive person it's likely that you hate to lose at anything, especially when you know you're underperforming and should win instead. However if it were the case you would also experience anger in other fields, atleast in other sport/games.
That said, is also true that generally people feel truly angry just for the things which they care more. So maybe you are just giving too much importance to the game (considering you are not a pro) or simply you're not approaching it with the correct mindset.
It would be interesting to know the exact situations that trigger your anger. Does it happens every time you lose? Beside the anger, do you accept your losses?
Well, I am a very competitive person, and I hate losing in real life as much as I hate losing at online games. I think the difference is that in real life I can take steps that I know will help me perform better in the area at which I'm performing under par. In games, there is no way to go back in time and play better. Instead, you can just play better in the next game. I think that realization bothered me, because I hate not being able to go back and fix the things I did wrong against the opponents I lost to.
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For the ongoing therapist or no therapist argument that seems to be continuing, here's the reason why I'm reluctant, outside of the monetary concerns involved.
When someone goes to a therapist, the therapist assumes that they're there because they have a problem in their life that they can't solve themselves. Therefore, they start looking much deeper into that person's life and psyche for problems that may or may not be there. I don't blame them for it - they kind of have to. If they just said "you need to take things less seriously, or try exercising more," then they'd be accused of not doing their job because their feedback is so simple. Is this a hard and fast rule? No, of course not, but I'd wager that it happens more often than not.
Without sounding arrogant, I'm almost entirely certain that my Starcraft 2 rage isn't rooted in some deep-seated issue that I'm not aware of, so what I'm (relatively) sure will happen if I were to go to one is that they'll dig and dig for something that isn't there, or worse, try to convince me that something is there that isn't. The idea that someone who has never met me, and knows basically nothing about my life can tell me how to solve my problems just doesn't make much sense, and on top of that, I feel as though the best therapy can be gotten from friends and family, not someone whom you have to pay to listen to you at all. I take the feedback of someone who I know cares about me much more seriously than someone who, for lack of a better way to put it, is a hired ear with the ability to write prescriptions to fix your brain.
Now, why make a post like this on the internets if I don't think someone who knows me can solve my problems? Because we're all (for the most part) gamers, and on this particular issue, I know there are players here who have dealt with this and found ways to control it. In short, I'm asking for advice about the issue itself, rather than for advice on how to fix myself. I don't actually think I'm broken. I think my habits and mindset are. If, after I fix my habits and mindset, I still have significant rage issues, then I'll have to consider the possibility that this isn't something I can fix myself. However, as of now, I'm fairly confident it won't come to that.
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Sounds like quite some troublesome rage issues you have 
As I recall Day9 talked about hanlding rage in one of his dailies a year or two ago. I didn't find which one though.
One of the things he said though, was to just ride the rage wave, and don't direct it at anything. Just be in the emotion ("I'm so angry right now. Oh man... I'm so angry"). But don't let it crystalize into directed thoughts ("I'm so angry at myself. Man, I suck. Fucking cheese!"). I've tried it a few times, and it helped me.
What also helps me is trying to turn it into something positive. "Awesome! I lost to X! This is a good thing! Now I'm gonna learn how to stop that, by watching the replay and possibly seeking help online."
Ofcrouse that only helps afterwards. I can still get upset from losing.
Also you said that you just qeue up another game when that happens. I really think you should take a break until you're calm and collected agian. Nothing good will ever come from playing when already enraged 
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On May 13 2013 15:22 Lauriel wrote:
Without sounding arrogant, I'm almost entirely certain that my Starcraft 2 rage isn't rooted in some deep-seated issue that I'm not aware of, so what I'm (relatively) sure will happen if I were to go to one is that they'll dig and dig for something that isn't there, or worse, try to convince me that something is there that isn't. The idea that someone who has never met me, and knows basically nothing about my life can tell me how to solve my problems just doesn't make much sense, and on top of that, I feel as though the best therapy can be gotten from friends and family, not someone whom you have to pay to listen to you at all. I take the feedback of someone who I know cares about me much more seriously than someone who, for lack of a better way to put it, is a hired ear with the ability to write prescriptions to fix your brain.
You have some understandable biases against therapy, understandable because it is sadly still stigmatized, but they are misinformed. Nobody is a bad or weak person, because they see a therapist to help with their problems. When your foot hurts, you go see a doctor and not your basketball coach, because the doctor is a professional though the coach knows your training routines and movements better. A therapist gets know you, by asking the right questions from experience and patterns. Not being aquainted personally is an important point, because it decreases pressure, no need for shame, lies, making a good impression. You´re probably no biased against doctors, though it´s the same thing.
I don't actually think I'm broken. I think my habits and mindset are. If, after I fix my habits and mindset, I still have significant rage issues, then I'll have to consider the possibility that this isn't something I can fix myself. However, as of now, I'm fairly confident it won't come to that.
It´s good to stay open-minded. "Fixing" though is a dangerous idea regarding the psyche, because it is bound to go for quick solutions to function properly for a while, without actually solving the underlying problem. No shame in requiring professional help, it´s what they´re there for and everybody can profit from therapy, really, everybody.
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Netherlands6187 Posts
I guess what makes me different here is that I'm not an overly competitive person, and I don't rage. No matter if I have been cheesed or lost to something I did wrong (such as threw my army into a really bad encounter and lost it completely) I always gg and leave. I go back and watch the replay and see what I did wrong or what I could have done differently. I do it completely calmly as I look at it in a way that I may have something to gain from this in the future.
The one time I did rage was when I was cheesed so badly I lost my main base and rebuilt. I scouted and found my opponent had a lot more bases that I did (regardless of the fact I actually had a perfect counter to his army and a better economy) and so I quit the game. I went and watched the replay and found that I was far ahead of my opponent and had already killed his entire army and my units were better upgraded. I was so angry. I shook. But I just went and lay down on the bed and let the anger wash over me. It took an hour to subside and since then I have been completely calm when playing.
I know this probably doesn't help the OP in any way, but I thought relating my own way of handling anger might inspire someone else to just direct their rage internally. It is a game, in the end, and while stats do affect your ranking all you can do is learn and practice and become better. Just take a few deep breaths, walk around and take your mind off it. Go back she you are feeling calmer and always stop playing on a good note.
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On May 13 2013 15:58 Daswollvieh wrote:Show nested quote +On May 13 2013 15:22 Lauriel wrote:
Without sounding arrogant, I'm almost entirely certain that my Starcraft 2 rage isn't rooted in some deep-seated issue that I'm not aware of, so what I'm (relatively) sure will happen if I were to go to one is that they'll dig and dig for something that isn't there, or worse, try to convince me that something is there that isn't. The idea that someone who has never met me, and knows basically nothing about my life can tell me how to solve my problems just doesn't make much sense, and on top of that, I feel as though the best therapy can be gotten from friends and family, not someone whom you have to pay to listen to you at all. I take the feedback of someone who I know cares about me much more seriously than someone who, for lack of a better way to put it, is a hired ear with the ability to write prescriptions to fix your brain. You have some understandable biases against therapy, understandable because it is sadly still stigmatized, but they are misinformed. Nobody is a bad or weak person, because they see a therapist to help with their problems. When your foot hurts, you go see a doctor and not your basketball coach, because the doctor is a professional though the coach knows your training routines and movements better. A therapist gets know you, by asking the right questions from experience and patterns. Not being aquainted personally is an important point, because it decreases pressure, no need for shame, lies, making a good impression. You´re probably no biased against doctors, though it´s the same thing. Show nested quote +I don't actually think I'm broken. I think my habits and mindset are. If, after I fix my habits and mindset, I still have significant rage issues, then I'll have to consider the possibility that this isn't something I can fix myself. However, as of now, I'm fairly confident it won't come to that. It´s good to stay open-minded. "Fixing" though is a dangerous idea regarding the psyche, because it is bound to go for quick solutions to function properly for a while, without actually solving the underlying problem. No shame in requiring professional help, it´s what they´re there for and everybody can profit from therapy, really, everybody.
I don't actually have anything against therapy, nor do I think it's only for the weak. However, I do think that it's something that should be a last resort rather than a first step, especially since prescription medications have become such a fashionable direction to move in lately (seriously, not every kid needs to be on Ritalin, but I digress). Furthermore, there's something that I feel is inherently disingenuous about having to pay someone to listen to your problems, and then, for some reason, putting so much stock in what they have to say about them. Don't get me wrong - there are therapists out there who are probably excellent, and legitimately care about their patients as people and not just as methods of paying their bills, but until I've tried the means available to me to solve my problems myself, it's an avenue I'd rather not venture down, especially since I'm confident that there aren't any underlying issues for someone to unearth.
I think therapy can help everyone as well, but I'd rather seek that therapy from friends and family. I value the opinions of those who I know genuinely care about me more than someone I've never met who I have to pay to listen.
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On May 13 2013 16:50 Lauriel wrote:Show nested quote +On May 13 2013 15:58 Daswollvieh wrote:On May 13 2013 15:22 Lauriel wrote:
Without sounding arrogant, I'm almost entirely certain that my Starcraft 2 rage isn't rooted in some deep-seated issue that I'm not aware of, so what I'm (relatively) sure will happen if I were to go to one is that they'll dig and dig for something that isn't there, or worse, try to convince me that something is there that isn't. The idea that someone who has never met me, and knows basically nothing about my life can tell me how to solve my problems just doesn't make much sense, and on top of that, I feel as though the best therapy can be gotten from friends and family, not someone whom you have to pay to listen to you at all. I take the feedback of someone who I know cares about me much more seriously than someone who, for lack of a better way to put it, is a hired ear with the ability to write prescriptions to fix your brain. You have some understandable biases against therapy, understandable because it is sadly still stigmatized, but they are misinformed. Nobody is a bad or weak person, because they see a therapist to help with their problems. When your foot hurts, you go see a doctor and not your basketball coach, because the doctor is a professional though the coach knows your training routines and movements better. A therapist gets know you, by asking the right questions from experience and patterns. Not being aquainted personally is an important point, because it decreases pressure, no need for shame, lies, making a good impression. You´re probably no biased against doctors, though it´s the same thing. I don't actually think I'm broken. I think my habits and mindset are. If, after I fix my habits and mindset, I still have significant rage issues, then I'll have to consider the possibility that this isn't something I can fix myself. However, as of now, I'm fairly confident it won't come to that. It´s good to stay open-minded. "Fixing" though is a dangerous idea regarding the psyche, because it is bound to go for quick solutions to function properly for a while, without actually solving the underlying problem. No shame in requiring professional help, it´s what they´re there for and everybody can profit from therapy, really, everybody. I don't actually have anything against therapy, nor do I think it's only for the weak. However, I do think that it's something that should be a last resort rather than a first step, especially since prescription medications have become such a fashionable direction to move in lately (seriously, not every kid needs to be on Ritalin, but I digress). Furthermore, there's something that I feel is inherently disingenuous about having to pay someone to listen to your problems, and then, for some reason, putting so much stock in what they have to say about them. Don't get me wrong - there are therapists out there who are probably excellent, and legitimately care about their patients as people and not just as methods of paying their bills, but until I've tried the means available to me to solve my problems myself, it's an avenue I'd rather not venture down, especially since I'm confident that there aren't any underlying issues for someone to unearth. I think therapy can help everyone as well, but I'd rather seek that therapy from friends and family. I value the opinions of those who I know genuinely care about me more than someone I've never met who I have to pay to listen.
Of course, getting medication is a serious step for serious illnesses, and as with all medical professionals it´s possible you get them prescribed needlessly. I can symphasize with that.
The notion of a therapist as someone who is paid to listen though, is rather unproductive. Every professional works for pay. You also pay a doctor to fix your broken leg, same as a therapist. It doesn´t mean they don´t care. Neither does a personal relationship and long acquaintance substitute professional training. But that´s just semantics, you already figured what to do. I´m just saying that therapy is something really useful to everybody no matter how mentally healthy they think they are.
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1. Slamming my fists into any objects around me with such force and consistency that I have damaged the nerves in my hands, wrists, and fingers several times, sometimes requiring months to heal. At one point I thought I was going to need surgery for a nerve impingement, but was fortunate to be able to avoid it.
2. Throwing, damaging, and breaking objects around me. Yesterday, I managed to slam 4 or 5 keys off of my $120.00 mechanical keyboard. Fortunately I was able to find them and re-attach them and it still works (good on you, Corsair!).
3. Screaming in fits of rage that lasts for anywhere from 30-45 minutes at their worst. I was actually cited for a noise violation by my apartment complex late last year for this and the associated slamming and banging.
4. Speeding and driving semi-recklessly when I have to go somewhere after playing and losing a few matches. This is the scariest thing, because I could, y'know, die, or cause someone else to die.
IdrA is that you? haha..
Man you sound like you just need to take a break from the game, seriously. Like a month or more. Then you'll come back and you'll have a different outlook on the game.
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It is definitely a mindset thing. If you expect to win 100%, then you are bound to rage.
I know that losses can feel hard, but if you are playing starcraft to learn starcraft, then losses are what you learn absolutely most from and should view them as an opportunity to evolve. Ask yourself: "What did I do wrong this game that caused me to lose?". Try finding an answer through your replay. This also serves as a small break between your games.
If you are playing just for fun, try silly strategies like carrier rush, mass queen or mass reaper, anything that you don't expect to win with.
It also helps to have someone to talk to while playing and post-game.
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You look yourself in the mirror and say 'I am a loser' repeat it a few times over a number of days when you lose and eventually that crushes your competitive spirit and you end up not caring as much. Eventually you realize it just a stupid game and question why people take it so seriously, then you'll end up uninstalling it before the next expansion and only watch streams. You'll be happier for it and able to help other people with similar issues by passing on this advice.
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I started talking to myself, commentating my own play, laughing at myself whenever I fucked up, joking when things went wrong, like I was doing live commentary. It helped a ton, gave me a good sense of perspective. Once you stop taking yourself so deadly seriosuly, you can be more relaxed about failures, real or imagined.
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On May 13 2013 10:50 Sokrates wrote:Show nested quote +On May 13 2013 10:21 Scarecrow wrote:On May 13 2013 10:04 Sokrates wrote:
It is really interesting how people from the US are advising therapy for such a minor issue. Paying a lot of money to rage less in sc2 sounds really weird to me. And i also think the OP can fix his issues by himself...
I really wonder if this "go see a therapist" thing is something you would get recommended in the US more often than in other (western) countries. It's not just regular rage though, he's actually putting his own life and those of others at risk. There's clearly some underlying issue/s that would benefit from therapy. Talking to a professional makes for a far easier fix than trying to work it all out by yourself. 1.Costs a lot of money. 2.Takes time. 3.No success guaranteed. 4.Minor issue. 5.How do you know there is "clearly underlying issue" here and not just the rage at a game? Just a total exaggeration with "putting his and the life of others at risk". A lot of people are stressed out, sleep deprived etc. etc. and driving anyway. Not that it is a good thing but that is just the reality. "Oh you didnt sleep barely at all, well now you are putting your and the life of others at risk." I guess nobody ever would make that excuse in front of his boss.
But they should. Just because it's common and/or people eat up all sorts of shit their boss feeds them doesn't mean it's ok. Just because many people still smoke in some countries/areas doesn't mean they're not putting their lives at risk. Thousands of people dying from accidents every year who did nothing wrong is not a minor issue just because most people don't care.
I agree with your skepticism toward therapy, although I wouldn't rule it out. But the point where he's speeding and thereby putting other people's lives at risk to me is the point where it really stops being funny and where doing something about this becomes a matter not only of his personal quality of life, but of responsibility.
If you can't overcome the rage, make sure you don't use the car until it dissipates. If you can't do that neither, quit playing the damn game.
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To be honnest, I raged a lot too (nowhere close to this kind of anger though) until I understood why Starcraft 2 is a big source of rage.
It's because as soon as a game starts and until it ends, you're 100% heavily focused on a lot of things, your strategy, your build order, your micro, ..., and above all : your desire to win. Thus you stack up a lot of stress and pressure.
And when you lose (in fact no matter how you lose, to an all in, a macro game, or a player doing dumb things, whatever) it's a bit like everything you built up during the game is worthless, that's mainly frustration we feel at that point, which leads to rage and anger.
Even if I didn't give a shit about ladder ranking I got pretty angry when it came to face several loses.
It's very simple to change his mindset about this, just don't play a game having in mind that the outcome of this particular game is actually important, because you'll be like "close-minded" to this.
You need to free your mind a little bit, see the big picture (like the 15 games you're going to play to master even more your build orders or whatever you like), play starcraft 2 with the idea of long term, that's how I seriously don't care at all anymore about winning or losing a game, and that's how I tend to be a way better player than I was.
(for example : i'm a terran player and I used to hate protoss all ins (actually I still do, starting to think it might be in my DNA xD), I lost a lot of these games, and whenever I faced a protoss all in (on WoL) I just wanted so hard to rape my opponent with a terrible kind of mindset like "fucking protoss all iner trash, get the fuck out of this game". And it leads to affect my TvP macro games too, until a 35% win ratio in this match up. Then I just told myself "okay face it : you're terrible" and learnt to deal with these all ins, completely reviewing how I played that match up, how I scouted, etc... I faced a lot of all ins and loses in TvP after this, but It just didn't affect me at all cause I automatically knew what I did wrong and what I did well, and tbh all I wanted is to face another blink all in or proxy immortal to correct the mistakes I made in the previous game).
I now think about my improvements, and especially on the ladder, I mean your opponents are literraly like test subjects for your build orders/strategies.
TLDR : If you focus on each game you play like "what is important is the outcome of this game" you can't really improve and be calm. See the big picture of your starcraft 2 experience, think about long term.
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EPT
