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http://www.razerzone.com/talon
Razer has released some New gaming gear in addition to there other products, in a EffOrt to improve E-sport.
The average GameR hits 100 actions-per-minute (APM) based on the number of actions on mouse and keyboard - Pro-Gamers peaking around 300 APM. Über-optimized and over-powered for MMO, FPS and RTS gameplay - the Razer Talon will accelerate you to a pace of over 3,000 APM. With its intelligent movement programmability and State of the art construction, your opponents, like your keyboard, will be left smoldering in a cloud of smoke.
Altough it does look very tempting, it looks Really expensive, and without any offical prizes i'm not sure how many players will use this. Will this give and Edge against others Who aren't using this?
Some comments from Pro players Who have tried out the New gear
SlayerS_BoxeR - The Emperor of Starcraft
After a week with Razer Talons, i believe that this is the next step in Human evolution. These are my New hands. And not because i can't remove them.
Mondragon - The RTS Wizard
I'M reaching levels of APM like I've Never hit before. I'M hitting 900 with every game i play, but somehow i don't understand why my hands are turning blue.
SjoW - Starcraft II Speed Freak
Everyday feels like Friday, when you have the Razer Talons on Always looking forward to my next game. Fun fun fun!
Guess Nintendo was right all along regarding gaming accessories
+ Show Spoiler +
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That glove looks uncomfortable just to know more about APM, but maybe I'll try it depending on the price tag :D
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Its almost believeable, only because its razer and their marketing is the lamest wannabe "edgy" shit I've ever seen.
AF though
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Nice SmoKim
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lol april fools is the best
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3000 APM!?
I'm impressed, but also afraid of that. I'm not sure how it works, but the fact that it can control you hand speed, and has "anti-twitch technology" is frightening. If its proven safe I'd try it though.
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haha ... good 1st april :D
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Australia782 Posts
Do the chickens have large talons?
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[Warning]
Use of Razer Talon without proper application of Razer Snake Oil Hyperesponse Lubricant may result in product failure/catastrophic fire.
Do not attempt to stroke, pat, or interact with any pets/younger siblings while the Razer Talon is in use. Doing so may result in damage/cataclysmic destruction of intended affection recipient.
If Razer Talon begins to behave erratically, move on its own, or become self-aware, unplug unit and barricade yourself/loved ones within a safe location and contact Razer Support. An armed team of product specialists will be dispatched to your location to dispose of and RMA your affected unit.
Do not attempt to rub, scratch, or interface with any part of your body while using the Razer Talon, as this may result in unit damage/horrific loss of valued limb(s).
Use of the Optional On-Board Razer Venom Delivery System without proper medical screening may result in arrhythmic heartbeats, future sight, imagined powers, rapid appendage growth, erratic limb spasms, corrosive bowl movements, lupus, and/or projectile ocular bleeding.
Do not fight/resist the A.T.A.P.M.A / Automated Intelligent On-The-Fly Movement feature as this may be interpreted as a sign of aggression against your Razer Talon, resulting in an angered/maliciously vengeful unit.
I have to admit I thought this was god damn hilarious! Well played razer.
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Title gave it away. But i totally would buy that in real life
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For a second I thought ....
No.
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I can't be the only one who thought about the autoerotic applications this product might have...
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I just got and i have to say... THIS IS THE GREATEST PRODUCT. Helped me get to 700 amp with one finger
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Holy shit that Sjow's quote, gotta love Rebecca Black <3
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This is nice . Would use them, even if it turns my hands into blue goo.
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Would it make masturbation more accelerated with this power glove? Or leave it "left smoldering in a cloud of smoke."
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Please note that the Issue Restoration Massage Mode is only intended for use on the hands. Exposing the Razer Talon to other bodily areas, while tempting, may result in excessive strain of and potential loss of said area. am i the only one who finds this hillarious
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Sjow Starcraft II Speed Freak - that gave it away for me .
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On April 01 2011 17:49 Megaliskuu wrote:Its almost believeable, only because its razer and their marketing is the lamest wannabe "edgy" shit I've ever seen. AF though Indeed, all the while knowing it is going to be an AF joke, I was almost convinced that it was real by the standard outrageous claims of the product.
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got me there >_< but the stuff saying a venom will go in your veins somehow didn't fit
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It's pretty funny, since it's pretty much a jab at themselves for their sometimes ridiculous claims on XTREME GAMING!
Love the BoxeR comment though hahahaha + Show Spoiler +"After a week with the Razor Talons. I believe this is the next step in human evolution. These are my new hands. And not just because I can't find a way to remove them."
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Hilarious
Edit: LOL Sjow = "Speed freak"? No no no Razer, 80 apm isn't = speed freak.
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i knew this was a joke as soon as i saw sjow promoting apm technology
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pointless stuff is pointless.
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The best bit is clearly the Venom injection.
Batman fans know where it's at!
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Even Razer is trolling on 4-1, lol. Before the day is through we'll have blizzard saying we're getting lurkers next patch ><
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On April 01 2011 17:54 gazageiras wrote: Holy shit that Sjow's quote, gotta love Rebecca Black <3 I thought the same. Facepalmed.
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"Get your hit of performance enhancing Razer Venom directly to the area that needs it most: your woefully unprepared sausage paw."
^ what the h...
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The description on the page is too close to their real products. Trying to wow you with nonspecific bull shit. Then when you get to the real specifics, it's like "glowy lights!". Obviously the further you get into this product, the more ridiculous it gets, but it starts off convincingly cheesy and unattractive.
The thing that makes it obviously not a real product (without reading anything) is that it doesn't plug into anything, and thus isn't an input device.
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I actually want this
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hahhahaha i loved this. i love the rebecca black reference.
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haha very good
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This one so got me for a minute. I was really reading the razor page about it till I got to "takes controll for you" o.o
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i would love to see a pro use this today in a showmatch just to troll even more
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LOL, i got angry at first. Like "no that is so unfair, not cool!".
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WTF NO WAY!!!
I dont think its possible for something like this to increase someone's apm drasticly.
Sjow doesnt even have high apm..
Obviously a scam
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Sooo great to call SjoW "Starcraft Speed Freak" :D
Love how much effort to put into this new product line, people without this will get ownt in upcoming tournaments.
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Haha Razer so good. SjoW = Speed Freak fosho ;D... I'm actually quite impressed Razer knew that about SjoW.
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actually could be fun to have such a thing but sad it will only be available on april 1.
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# Use of the Optional On-Board Razer Venom Delivery System without proper medical screening may result in arrhythmic heartbeats, future sight, imagined powers, rapid appendage growth, erratic limb spasms, corrosive bowl movements, lupus, and/or projectile ocular bleeding. # Do not fight/resist the A.T.A.P.M.A / Automated Intelligent On-The-Fly Movement feature as this may be interpreted as a sign of aggression against your Razer Talon, resulting in an angered/maliciously vengeful unit.
haha
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I only twigged when it said sjow was a "starcraft 2 speed freak" xDD
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I ws interested, checked link, had a good laugh, waiting on Blizzard's April Fool's Joke's they're always good!
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LOL they sure got me .. ^^
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calling Sjow the speed freak gave it away, i started WTFing till i read that, then referring to the 80 apm blind terran made me realize what day it is
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fuck i believed ((
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"If Razer Talon begins to behave erratically, move on its own, or become self-aware, unplug unit and barricade yourself/loved ones within a safe location and contact Razer Support. An armed team of product specialists will be dispatched to your location to dispose of and RMA your affected unit."
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obvious day is obvious ;P
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Oh god, the whole thing is just hilarious! For a second I was like "O.o wh.... whaaaat?!"
Awesome!
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They could have at least tried making it sound believable... Disappointed, I am.
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HAHAHAHAHAHA
I was like hmm...this is some weird shit, then I saw the sjow the speed freak part and started rofling.
If he's the speed freak, I'm a fucking cheetah. Sick friday reference too.
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Oh god, I lost it at the Friday reference.
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United States4126 Posts
Took me a second, realized it after how sarcastic the gamers' comments were
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For a second I actually believed it, but 3000 apm? That may be a little over the top :D
Also, much love on Boxers comment on the glove.
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What's funny is they are totally parodizing the way they market their products, by blowing the gains you get from them completely out of proportion, and making everyone want to have one to be more competitive.
And wow Razer snake oil, I thought they already sold that all over their site. A truer parody was never imagined.
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lol nice pre-ordered it! you should to! :D
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Maybe Sjow's apm could actually raise to 300 with this ^^ + Show Spoiler +if it would work for real :b
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Lol I read the warning sign!
"If Razer Talon begins to behave erratically, move on its own, or become self-aware, unplug unit and barricade yourself/loved ones within a safe location and contact Razer Support. An armed team of product specialists will be dispatched to your location to dispose of and RMA your affected unit."
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I liked the venom bags from last year better - that was hilarious
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if this was actually real i would buy one
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haha.. i smell a april fools
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Rofl, the Razer article is epic.
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The part with Sjow is the best! OMG! LOL
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Funny April fools joke lol, at first I actually thought it was serious until I read the warnings at the bottom lol
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SJOW DOES NOT LIKE REBBECA BLACK! Rawr.
Kinda funny, but the title wasn't really convincing. Plus the whole over 9000 apm thing in BoxeR's quote... yeah.
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rofl. Those are so cool though!
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fuck it had me for a minute there
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So good XD. well done razer.
I loved the part about the twin needles inserting razer venom into your unsuspecting sausage claws.
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LOL
i was gonna call bullshit and trash this thing... then i remember it was April 1...
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Damn.. I started to search on youtube and other sites for a tutorial on how it works. Was soo ready to buy 1 lol :D gg razer
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its sad I actually fell for this kinda, until reading about it.. In which case, I still thought it was real, just obviously hyperboles of how great it is in an effort for marketing (no one can get 3000 APM lol) ..
I mean, isnt it logical on some level that someone could invent some type of exoskeleton device that would send tiny electrical jolts to each of your fingers every 2 seconds you dont move that finger?? Almost like a reminder to use it?? Or something along those lines..
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I actually believed this until i read Sjow's entry.
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funny, the best part was about mondragon's 900 APM.
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Lol, I forgot it was that one foolish day here in the US for most of that article, and I was busy bitching about how this made no sense whatsoever and is clearly some consumer novelty etc, etc...
:D Good one Razer!
(EDIT: Also loved hearing about Mondragon's 900 APM, lol)
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Okay I've been lurking on TL for a while now, but on seeing the reaction to this I feel the need to post.
I can't believe that real progamers like Boxer would sink so low as to use a machine to augment their gaming. This is just yet another step in dumbing down RTS for the ignorant masses, like unlimited unit selection or auto worker mining. At least that only ruined one game, this is set up to ruin broodwar, too, and we can't allow that.
Here on TL, we have a responsibility to tell companies that we DON'T WANT stuff like this. Razer has no right to shit on our community by creating something to tempt gamers in to taking the easy way in to getting skill.
I am completely appalled that other TL users and progamers would consider using this. =.=
So join me, send emails to GOMTV, KESPA, MLG, etc. and URGE THEM to BAN this handset from use in their tournaments. This is the LEAST any community member can do.
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Haha this had me going for a good 5 minutes. Nice april fools!
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sjow a speed freak ahah ahahaha hahahaha nice try
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Dominican Republic913 Posts
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I am the only one that thinks the repetition of these posts are stupid as hell ? Years ago there would be like 1-2 really well thought out ones that you would have to watch out for, now it's just a new lame one every few hours. Sad.
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On April 01 2011 22:24 LostDevil wrote: I am the only one that thinks the repetition of these posts are stupid as hell ? Years ago there would be like 1-2 really well thought out ones that you would have to watch out for, now it's just a new lame one every few hours. Sad.
I thought this was clever and decently done.
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Hehe ye.... 1 second then.... like Ah, grrrr. stupid
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Maybe its April's fool thing again? I mean, i'm 99% sure it is. Lets wait a little big =D
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The average gamer has 100 APM? :I
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My fav April fools joke from Razer was the Razer Venom. Hook an IV up to your arm and you get energy and nutrients for 72 hours of straight gaming.
The first year they did that soooo many people fell for it
Also did anyone read the Disclaimer at the Bottom.....LOL"S
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Hyrule18829 Posts
My favorite part is the warnings, specifically:
Use of the Optional On-Board Razer Venom Delivery System without proper medical screening may result in arrhythmic heartbeats, future sight, imagined powers, rapid appendage growth, erratic limb spasms, corrosive bowl movements, lupus, and/or projectile ocular bleeding.
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I need this now!
And 10 new keyboards
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United States22883 Posts
On April 01 2011 22:24 LostDevil wrote: I am the only one that thinks the repetition of these posts are stupid as hell ? Years ago there would be like 1-2 really well thought out ones that you would have to watch out for, now it's just a new lame one every few hours. Sad. More than anything else, I think it's awesome that Razer can make fun of themselves. This wouldn't have been nearly as entertaining if another company had done it.
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On April 01 2011 22:19 SharkSpider wrote: Okay I've been lurking on TL for a while now, but on seeing the reaction to this I feel the need to post.
I can't believe that real progamers like Boxer would sink so low as to use a machine to augment their gaming. This is just yet another step in dumbing down RTS for the ignorant masses, like unlimited unit selection or auto worker mining. At least that only ruined one game, this is set up to ruin broodwar, too, and we can't allow that.
Here on TL, we have a responsibility to tell companies that we DON'T WANT stuff like this. Razer has no right to shit on our community by creating something to tempt gamers in to taking the easy way in to getting skill.
I am completely appalled that other TL users and progamers would consider using this. =.=
So join me, send emails to GOMTV, KESPA, MLG, etc. and URGE THEM to BAN this handset from use in their tournaments. This is the LEAST any community member can do.
Um... can't tell if you're serious or not, but I hope you realize what day of the year it is If you're just joking then, well, haha nice one! :D
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Haha to good. This would be amazing though.
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Haha this is pretty much a real product though: http://theperegrine.com/product/
Not sure of the APM it's capable of. Caused me to take it more seriously though haha
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Yeah, at first I thought it was Razer's answer to the Peregrine (which is a real product and they even sponsor EG) which felt weird considering how small the market for such a product must be right now.
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3000 apm gave it away for me...lol
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Always looking forward to my next game. Fun fun fun!
I love Razer.
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Personally not a razer fan, but they played this well. Hats off!
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now thats a well done april fools joke. i especially love the part
Hardware ownership is a personal affair. We understand that there is nothing more violating than having a stranger's hand shoved somewhere it doesn't belong.
That's why Razer PWNership Recognition ensures that any unauthorized and unrecognized hands inserted into your Talon will send the unit into lock mode, followed immediately by 50,000 volts of raw sibling frying power. Kick your enemies' asses both online and when you're AFK.
Warning: Extremely effective. Two of our alpha testers were destr... decommissioned after we mixed up the testing units by accident. We'd like to remember and thank them for their services.
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I love the first of this month XD
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Someone linked it to me, and I was like Oo but then I realized what day it was haha :D
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United States7483 Posts
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How much does it cost?
Wait is it just an april fools?
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SjoW "Fun fun fun!", SjoW just loves Rachel Black
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so does this really..
ooo wait!
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What's funny is that this joke is from Razer, who already released "APM Technology" gear which shamelessly tried capitalizing on noobie gamers obsession with APM. This really isn't that far off lol. Funny though.
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show's comment is loll he knows what day it is... he really DOES
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haha, this is hilariously silly. So awesome!
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SjoW you just made my friday~ fun fun fun fun.
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I can't be the only one who thought about the autoerotic applications this product might have...
There is an explicit warning about that Do not attempt to rub, scratch, or interface with any part of your body while using the Razer Talon.
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Hahah April Fools. Good one guys.
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It should have said over 9000 apm :D
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Remember Razer's April fool's joke last year? Injectible Gamer Fuel, so you could play for days without sleep lol
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Nice, I would love to get my hands on one of these. ^^
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The quote by sjow was really funny
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Win. Started lol'ing in class. :D
Poor Boxer... :D
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Man I'm getting trolled so hard today...
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lol its 1 st april, cant belive someone dont understand that ))
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That snake oil looks really effective; have to try and get my hands on some.
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Heh had me going for a few seconds, love AF stuff.
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crazy idea and the picture of the guy with this on sitting at a computer is like "oh shit this is so taxing" :D
Better not have an expensive keyboard when you use this or youre gonna go broke real soon.
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Some of these replies are better are even funnier than the OP... I guess that is the sign of an amazing troll April Fool's thread.
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On April 01 2011 22:19 SharkSpider wrote: Okay I've been lurking on TL for a while now, but on seeing the reaction to this I feel the need to post.
I can't believe that real progamers like Boxer would sink so low as to use a machine to augment their gaming. This is just yet another step in dumbing down RTS for the ignorant masses, like unlimited unit selection or auto worker mining. At least that only ruined one game, this is set up to ruin broodwar, too, and we can't allow that.
Here on TL, we have a responsibility to tell companies that we DON'T WANT stuff like this. Razer has no right to shit on our community by creating something to tempt gamers in to taking the easy way in to getting skill.
I am completely appalled that other TL users and progamers would consider using this. =.=
So join me, send emails to GOMTV, KESPA, MLG, etc. and URGE THEM to BAN this handset from use in their tournaments. This is the LEAST any community member can do.
Bahahaha, I wanted to badly to think that you're serious but given your high post count you've been around for a while and I'm sure that you're not that stupid. Either way, funny post.
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On April 02 2011 02:40 Redunzl wrote: Some of these replies are better are even funnier than the OP... I guess that is the sign of an amazing troll April Fool's thread.
i never troll :o
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great post ftw!
I do hope to have a real one of these
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Lol i love Sjow's quote lol @ mondragon's quote too lol
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On April 01 2011 17:50 Trion wrote: 3000 APM!?
I'm impressed, but also afraid of that. I'm not sure how it works, but the fact that it can control you hand speed, and has "anti-twitch technology" is frightening. If its proven safe I'd try it though. if you read the article you should be aware that it is an April fools joke.
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David Kim: "I need this to counter my 20% nerf."
Looks like they have all of their stuff well-coordinated.
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They had me going until the first warning...
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Missed this last week... that's great, hahaha
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If the emperor says it's good then it's good. I'll take 20 =)
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Please tell me how much ? price of razer talon? and how to work by talon?
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I can't believe I missed this one, hahahah. Definitely one of the better jokes out there!
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I expected the APM increase to be over 9,000 instead of over 3,000.
Either way, pretty funny joke lol
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"SjoW - Starcraft II Speed Freak" made me laugh :D
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