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great improvement on the protoss =) now there's at least 1 thread on each race.
Although personally, i think twin zergling rape and the Ultralisk picture is enough to settle "which race is the most epic"
and to phyvo: you took this a bit too seriously. . . unfortunately, that is still a human being sitting in his mortal chair typing up a funny thread. Not a fucking real protoss executive representative. Because they don't really exist.
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Such conceit, elder Protoss!
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of course, this is why every time your zealot gets zapped by a scv they shout "WE CANNOT HOLD"
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very nice read! a great way to show the strength and arrogance of the protoss. love this race
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Taiwan619 Posts
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On June 07 2010 05:52 fwaaahh wrote: and to phyvo: you took this a bit too seriously. . . unfortunately, that is still a human being sitting in his mortal chair typing up a funny thread. Not a fucking real protoss executive representative. Because they don't really exist.
ROFLMAO
and, good read, funny, but I think it could have been done a lot better, Protoss are a lot more awesome then this IMO :D
Edit: Phyvo is right though, most of it is not Protoss material, as this should actually sound like a real Protoss executive representative wrote it.
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FREEAGLELAND26781 Posts
Dude lol TL;DR part. Good thread~
Just as lulzy as the Terran one.
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The TL;DR definitely makes up for any issues with the writeup. In fact, you could pretty much just leave the TL;DR part up, erase everything else, and this thread would still be pretty legit.
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Our Cultural Researcher has informed me that many Terrans once worshipped a film, a fantasy in which a blade similar to ours was the pinnacle of power. Fortunately, you are Protoss, and you get two of these on Day 1.
This is win xD
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wonderful!
Oh TL you are the best.
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finally some interesting article to end my day! oh its 12:19... DAMN IT, start my day, though ima go to sleep now Nonetheless, good job!
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Silly toss's... trying to be all witty and eloquent, when in fact you are just a bunch of grumbling aliens without mouths.
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Wow this is awesome. Well done.
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En Taro Tassadar, dude-man!
(Because fuck Adun).
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I think a more epic one about P has already been made, sorry....
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Oh! And for anyone who thinks this thread isn't Protoss-esque, try clicking on a High Templar a few times until he says, "Do you know what happens to a frog when he gets hit by lightning? The same thing that happens to... other stuff." See! They don't always have giant sticks up their asses. Sometimes they like to blow shit up just like everyone else.
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+ Show Spoiler +On June 07 2010 03:36 phyvo wrote:I dispute the protossy-ness of this thread. Show nested quote +On June 06 2010 22:56 snotboogie wrote: We are strength incarnate, the object of Hercules' envy. I cannot imagine that a Protoss would ever stoop to merely being the object of envy of some obscure Terran myth, nor seek to compare themselves to one. Show nested quote +Stalker - Witness your Dark Templar brethren and the immense strength of spirit they possess. Death itself is a mere nuisance to the hardy members of the Shakuras tribes. You see, when they die, they cut off their heads and get them fused onto teleporting machines. Which shoot lasers. All while still wearing their masks. You're writing like a Terran now and fail to even attempt to exult any of these honorable characteristics of the Dark Templar. Your inaccurately describe their particle disrupters as "lasers", a simple term for simple minds. One of the Protoss' greatest medical feats is described as a simple "cutting" while the cultural significance and loyalty shown by their wearing of their masks is left completely unexplained and ignored, as if the author merely thought it was "cool". Show nested quote +Dark Templar - The living counterparts of the Stalkers are born invisible. They learn to kill from childhood. You're not stupid so I'll leave it to you to do the math. (By the way, while we're on the subject, lol @ the level of Terran "math"... ridiculous) There are many aspects of this writing to sneer at for their lack of poetry, but by far the use of the "lol" abbreviation undermines any authority you may have as one who speaks for the Protoss. Show nested quote + Colossus - Witness the capability of Protoss engineering. The laws of nature, the universe, and logic have never managed to constrain our great scientists, and now we have constructed a behemoth that is at one time both walking and flying. On the battlefield, you will witness them in action - do not be surprised when they set fire to your enemies simply by looking at them.
The simple nature of your language continues to distort the true and terrible nature of the things that you describe. The colossus, a war machine that towers in silhouette above dreams of other life forms, and the simple terms of "walking", "flying", "looking", and "setting fire" are far too plebeian to describe any construct created by the intellectual prowess of the Protoss as they have probed the deepest mysteries of the universe. Show nested quote +High Templar - One day, with much hard work behind you, you may ascend to this position. When you have done so, you will be able to erupt masses of living minds at will. You will also have really, really cool bling in the form of a glowing Khaydarin crystal that rests atop your third eye. It will magnify your potence; your thoughts will manifest with terrible power. Bling. My brain lost a few cells from even reading that term. I can hardly imagine that a proud Protoss would stoop to one of the lowest words of the Terran dialects, nor would an upstanding Protoss be concerned with such a minor things as material wealth or symbols of high status. Such is the caste system that every Protoss brings their full capacities to bear on the trials and tribulations that have befallen their race, and it is only because of this that they still survive today. Show nested quote +TL;DR Protoss have the biggest dicks in the universe. And if we didn't we would just will a bigger one into existence. It would actually work, because we are Protoss. And it would glow, too. TLDR the only good part of the whole post was the zealot part. Everything else was distinctly uninspired and written in low level language that should not be associated with ones who can proudly call themselves the "First Born". Aside: for those of you who think I'm taking this too seriously, I had nothing better to do and was genuinely disappointed with the tack the OP took. My opinion, for what it's worth on an internet forum. Get some manners. He made a thread and then you try and attention-whore the acclaim away with your own really mediocre writing. You're not a poet so stop shitting on someone elses contribution. Your rudeness just made me like the OP more.
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On June 06 2010 22:56 snotboogie wrote: My young Protoss son, listen to the advice of your father. Heed not the haughty words of strength from the brash Terran, who is so simple he cannot see his own weakness. (Can you believe, for a race so proud, they actually excrete feces? Surely their boasts are a jest, which the Universe laughs at!) In truth, they are but a step above the common beast.
Nor, child, should you believe the chattering of the despicable Zerg, whose will is not even their own - indeed, ultimately, they are ruled by one of those dirty Terrans I already told you about! They are a step below the beast, caricatures of animals, whose only function is to be slaves - a fate decreed from before they were born.
I'm sorry, is Earth overrun with the Zerg? Oh no wait, Aiur is. Is Shakuras overrun with the zerg? Well it was, but then you had to wipe the planet with the Xel'naga temple, killing every single DT. Sounds like the weakest of the three races if you ask me.
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On June 07 2010 19:47 Deathstar wrote:Show nested quote +On June 06 2010 22:56 snotboogie wrote: My young Protoss son, listen to the advice of your father. Heed not the haughty words of strength from the brash Terran, who is so simple he cannot see his own weakness. (Can you believe, for a race so proud, they actually excrete feces? Surely their boasts are a jest, which the Universe laughs at!) In truth, they are but a step above the common beast.
Nor, child, should you believe the chattering of the despicable Zerg, whose will is not even their own - indeed, ultimately, they are ruled by one of those dirty Terrans I already told you about! They are a step below the beast, caricatures of animals, whose only function is to be slaves - a fate decreed from before they were born.
I'm sorry, is Earth overrun with the Zerg? Oh no wait, Aiur is. Is Shakuras overrun with the zerg? Well it was, but then you had to wipe the planet with the Xel'naga temple, killing every single DT. Sounds like the weakest of the three races if you ask me.
yes. wiping out a whole planet is weak.
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