Protoss are the most baller high-tech kickass mad-scientist inventor/destructor species in the universe. Leonardo Da Vinci would need a few hundred more inventions and like 100kg+ more muscle mass before he could start to compare to any below-average protoss whiz-kid (which all protoss kids are). The Protoss have the most fearless warriors, the most powerful weapons, and the most advanced technology the other species have ever laid their dumb eyes upon.
Zealot - not only are all Protoss crazy intelligent, they are also fearless badasses who don't give a shit that you have a gun, or that you are literally 10x+ bigger in size; it doesn't matter, zeals will run up, charge in, and start slashing at anything and everything like it's just another day in the office. the protoss have enough advanced technology to create a giant walking war of the worlds robot but the average toss individual just says screw using GUNS, I'm gonna strap PSIONIC BLADES TO MY HANDS and stick them in your face.
Sentry - back in the days of broodwar this one zeal was getting pretty pissed that everything just kept running away from his fearsome handblades of destruction, so he spent a few seconds thinking how to get his enemies to stay put so he could get on with the hacking and slashing. the sentry robot was incorporated into the protoss army a couple days later because the protoss military is so fucking ingeniously adaptable, right after they figured out how to have it able to kill shit and make the rest of the army nearly invincible too.
Void Ray - zealots never get tired but sometimes after a good minute or two of hacking at buildings they get bored and decide it'd be more entertaining to decapitate something living. the protoss military thought yea, it really is too easy, so they put in a few death star beam flying machines of destruction into the force so zeals could get to the fun stuff.
DT - FACTS: DTs are biological/psionic. DTs kill all your units SO FAST. the purpose of DTs is to flip out and kill everything. DTs are so precise, strong, and invisible that you will never see them before they tear out your spine. DTs are so fearsome that just by being on the same planet with them makes all other species go crazy paranoid and waste all their resources trying to catch the DTs, which is a totally useless effort because DTs are so unimaginably awesome.
Stalker - one day a DT after an easy day's work of 1-shotting 20 scvs was chilling in his lab and thought: hey, wouldn't it be cool if I could be a speedy supermobile instantly teleportable 4-legged machine of DEATH? So he thought it, and so it was.
Immortal - you thought you killed that zealot? nah, but you might have convinced him to pop himself into a kickass dragoon robot suit. oh, you thought you killed that too? nah, you just made him decide it was time for a little upgrade. you have a tank or 6? wouldn't try shooting, or else you might convince him to install some colossus lasers on the side after he demolishes the whole force in a few seconds.
Colossus - just in case the rest of the protoss war machine powerhouse wants to kill shit even faster, the protoss can always build a few of these babies: the most powerful piece of equipment, ever.
Warp-in - the sweetest piece of technology in the universe. yeah, we have an army spread across entire freakin' galaxies, but you need them all right in once place now? sure, we can just all just pop up anywhere on the whole map and decimate your force wherever it runs off to. warping in is like making instant noodles with 15 microwaves going at once, but instead of tasty noodly goodness, you get mindblowingly powerful armies.
EDIT: additions for units I missed are welcome. "super geniuses" would be a better title yea, since these Ts don't seem to understand figurative speech and all have the same identical 2-line comment. and c'mon now, you zerg have to get to writing one of these. they're much better than the official descriptions.
On April 12 2010 00:13 -Iron- wrote: Don't try to undermine the PURE MANLINESS of the terran race you sissy protoss and zerg players out there!
Most people's definition for "pure manliness" is stupidly made decisions, show-offs, and the ability to go over-board because of the smallest little thing.
I couldn't withstand to post that picture. But seriously: this thread is fail... though the opener had the balls to try it but now he should move back to his kitchen
man read the OP, instead of just the title, geez. oh wait, most Ts are illiterate, they probably just got their moms to read the title for them. even so, you T's are a bit slow for not understanding the turn of phrase "kid" as it relates to the true gangstas that Protoss are.
On April 13 2010 03:49 panzerbat wrote: More like a race for the fat kids who can't bother to fight for themselves and forces robots to do all the heavy lifting. Pussys.
So Terran and Zerg players are actually fighting themselves?
Actually I think the OP got the Protoss concept wrong.
If terran are the "real men" then i'd say protoss seem more like the mafia/triad/etc. I'm not talking about the crap gangsta you see in the hood. I'm talking about the kinda mafia that breaks your fingers while smoking his cool cigar and rambling about how life sucks.
Zealots/immortals = thugs. Warp rays/DT/stalkers = assassins, you dont pay the protoss what you owe, you get a visit from one of them. Sentries/HT = the money collectors
On April 13 2010 06:03 Crissaegrim wrote: Actually I think the OP got the Protoss concept wrong.
If terran are the "real men" then i'd say protoss seem more like the mafia/triad/etc. I'm not talking about the crap gangsta you see in the hood. I'm talking about the kinda mafia that breaks your fingers while smoking his cool cigar and rambling about how life sucks.
Zealots/immortals = thugs. Warp rays/DT/stalkers = assassins, you dont pay the protoss what you owe, you get a visit from one of them. Sentries/HT = the money collectors
random? i know.
On April 13 2010 06:20 minus_human wrote: Protoss = wanting to be cool so bad that you reach depression, and sadly unoriginal as ever, you play Protoss.
...
The op pretty much proves my point.
Real gangsta-ass Protoss don't flex nuts 'Cause real gangsta-ass Protoss know they got 'em.
High Templar: After a few hundred years of punching everything in the face, a Zealot can get a little tired, and feel the need to retire and engage in some deep religious Khala introspection. While most religions involve peace, love, and spiritual salvation, the Protoss religion involves melting everything in its path. Jesus turned some water into wine? That's nice, but even the mostly lowly Protoss priest can cause lightning bursts to come out of the ground.
What about high templar? He is too cool to use his legs for walking and uses his superior psionic powers to float in air and create storms out of nothing and can merge his power with another templar to create the most badass ball of kickassery in game... Destroy...Annihilate...Obliterate...Eradicate...
On April 13 2010 06:34 iounas wrote: What about high templar? He is too cool to use his legs for walking and uses his superior psionic powers to float in air and create storms out of nothing and can merge his power with another templar to create the most badass ball of kickassery in game... Destroy...Annihilate...Obliterate...Eradicate...
On April 13 2010 03:14 AppleTart wrote: Terran is for people who are attracted to real men. Protoss is for people who are attracted to cool kids.
You play the race you like, not who you pretend to be!
Lol He just said that either terran is for people who are gay or for girls lol...
but seriously heres my Carrier
Carrier- So you zerg made up a few brood lords and you terran made up a few Thors and tanks to completely destroy our ground force huh? Well You apparently didn't look up to see our flying space stations did you? O no, OF COURSE you didn't! You were too busy admiring your own muscles to realize that your admiring what is now gonna be a *squish*.... dead body-.- These are flying space stations that contain 8 flying zealots in tiny space ships! "WE MAY BE TINY BUT WE PACK A BIG PUNCH!" Said a zealot in a interview we had with it right after he helped his buddies kill a Thor. "We just went right around him and he died before he new what hit him!" said another zealot of the same interceptor squadron. "We have fun killing things and performing the coolest tricks the enemy has ever seen just before we kill them!" Said yet another zealot from the same squadron. As you can see, these tiny ships don't just protect us from our enemies but they get to have fun doing it! Join the fight to re capture Aiur TODAY!
edit: ya I know its long but its just too big and awesome to make it small!
On April 13 2010 06:34 iounas wrote: What about high templar? He is too cool to use his legs for walking and uses his superior psionic powers to float in air and create storms out of nothing and can merge his power with another templar to create the most badass ball of kickassery in game... Destroy...Annihilate...Obliterate...Eradicate...
too bad archons literally suck ass in this game
Yeah they are crap now but their legacy from sc1 still lives.
On April 13 2010 06:34 iounas wrote: What about high templar? He is too cool to use his legs for walking and uses his superior psionic powers to float in air and create storms out of nothing and can merge his power with another templar to create the most badass ball of kickassery in game... Destroy...Annihilate...Obliterate...Eradicate...
too bad archons literally suck ass in this game
Yeah they are crap now but their legacy from sc1 still lives.
literally, without the Muta Stacking Glitch, Archons are useless.
On April 13 2010 06:34 iounas wrote: What about high templar? He is too cool to use his legs for walking and uses his superior psionic powers to float in air and create storms out of nothing and can merge his power with another templar to create the most badass ball of kickassery in game... Destroy...Annihilate...Obliterate...Eradicate...
too bad archons literally suck ass in this game
Yeah they are crap now but their legacy from sc1 still lives.
literally, without the Muta Stacking Glitch, Archons are useless.
Protoss: I don't feel like microing or thinking for myself, so I rather just spend a lot of money for units I can A-move all over the map to make myself feel superior.
Protoss, a race for spoiled kids who think minerals can buy them anything, including cool.
warping in is like making instant noodles with 15 microwaves going at once, but instead of tasty noodly goodness, you get mindblowingly powerful armies.
Made my day. :D Fucking epic man, don't listen to the primitive Terran whiners.
On April 13 2010 07:03 shindigs wrote: Protoss: I don't feel like microing or thinking for myself, so I rather just spend a lot of money for units I can A-move all over the map to make myself feel superior.
Protoss, a race for spoiled kids who think minerals can buy them anything, including cool.
Wow so you just copy Robert Hamburgers writing style and even steal some of his lines from realultimatepower to try and get some laughs on TL. Good job asshole but you're both unfunny and a baboon.
On April 13 2010 08:32 Cooterburger wrote: Wow so you just copy Robert Hamburgers writing style and even steal some of his lines from realultimatepower to try and get some laughs on TL. Good job asshole but you're both unfunny and a baboon.
On April 13 2010 08:44 Zack1900 wrote: Toss isn't the most advanced. Where are their flying buildings calling in harvesters from capitol ships in orbit?
They're busy zapping fools, Vortexing Thors, and Recalling for massive damage, that's what they're doing.
On April 13 2010 palanq wrote: the average toss individual just says screw using GUNS, I'm gonna strap PSIONIC BLADES TO MY HANDS and stick them in your face.
lol this made me smile, like the rest of your thread. protoss power! =)
and for all those terrans who claim to be real men: stop hiding behind ur fancy wall-ins and bunkers and turtling until you feel like moving out, then we'll talk about manliness ;D
When a Terran gets old and somewhat less manly, he goes home, takes his medicine and talks about the 'glory days' and recites war stories over and over....
When a Protoss gets old... he suits up and goes back to boot camp! They take the 'walkers' of the Terran's, and slap two armour-munching phase disruptors on it! The old men of the 'manly' race talk about how shoddy things are now a days. The Old men of the Protoss prove it by blowing holes through it!
EPT![[image loading]](http://i757.photobucket.com/albums/xx220/palanq/ninja.jpg?t=1271094597)
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![[image loading]](http://i39.tinypic.com/rthmo0.jpg)
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