On August 29 2024 01:27 Jealous wrote: Please seek medical help.
Please take this post seriously
Agreed
You know nothing of this place. You‘re just a hater. It‘d turn you insane as well with how it‘s governed.
I think people who comment are more likely to care about your wellbeing than hate you man.
I have no reason to hate you. I like you and want you to be well.
Thanks. I was prickly sorry. I have to figure out what they did to me with zero information except bits and pieces in a very dysfunctional country. And it‘s mentally exhausting.
On August 29 2024 01:27 Jealous wrote: Please seek medical help.
Please take this post seriously
Agreed
You know nothing of this place. You‘re just a hater. It‘d turn you insane as well with how it‘s governed.
I think people who comment are more likely to care about your wellbeing than hate you man.
I have no reason to hate you. I like you and want you to be well.
Thanks. I was prickly sorry. I have to figure out what they did to me with zero information except bits and pieces in a very dysfunctional country. And it‘s mentally exhausting.
On August 29 2024 01:27 Jealous wrote: Please seek medical help.
Please take this post seriously
Agreed
You know nothing of this place. You‘re just a hater. It‘d turn you insane as well with how it‘s governed.
I think people who comment are more likely to care about your wellbeing than hate you man.
I have no reason to hate you. I like you and want you to be well.
Thanks. I was prickly sorry. I have to figure out what they did to me with zero information except bits and pieces in a very dysfunctional country. And it‘s mentally exhausting.
What does a 'good' outcome look like for you?
Getting rid of the secrecy and being lied to and old habits/diseases however one wants to look at it. Being told what I might have done wrong.
The more I write here the more they freak out on average around me but nobody would admit they‘re reading my posts while knowing my identity.
Possibly also because of someone who took credit for my ideas or even my account name.
I think I‘d like more trustworthy authorities who can stop things from escalating in time by being open, not sneaky dirt collectors.
On August 29 2024 01:27 Jealous wrote: Please seek medical help.
Please take this post seriously
Agreed
You know nothing of this place. You‘re just a hater. It‘d turn you insane as well with how it‘s governed.
I think people who comment are more likely to care about your wellbeing than hate you man.
I have no reason to hate you. I like you and want you to be well.
Thanks. I was prickly sorry. I have to figure out what they did to me with zero information except bits and pieces in a very dysfunctional country. And it‘s mentally exhausting.
What does a 'good' outcome look like for you?
Getting rid of the secrecy and being lied to and old habits/diseases however one wants to look at it.
The more I write here the more they freak out on average around me but nobody would admit they‘re reading my posts while knowing my identity.
Possibly also because of someone who took credit for my ideas or even my account name.
I think I‘d like more trustworthy authorities who can stop things from escalating in time by being open, not sneaky dirt collectors.
If all of this happens what would that look like? what would the outcome be in terms of your life?
On August 29 2024 01:27 Jealous wrote: Please seek medical help.
Please take this post seriously
Agreed
You know nothing of this place. You‘re just a hater. It‘d turn you insane as well with how it‘s governed.
I think people who comment are more likely to care about your wellbeing than hate you man.
I have no reason to hate you. I like you and want you to be well.
Thanks. I was prickly sorry. I have to figure out what they did to me with zero information except bits and pieces in a very dysfunctional country. And it‘s mentally exhausting.
What does a 'good' outcome look like for you?
Getting rid of the secrecy and being lied to and old habits/diseases however one wants to look at it.
The more I write here the more they freak out on average around me but nobody would admit they‘re reading my posts while knowing my identity.
Possibly also because of someone who took credit for my ideas or even my account name.
I think I‘d like more trustworthy authorities who can stop things from escalating in time by being open, not sneaky dirt collectors.
If all of this happens what would that look like? what would the outcome be in terms of your life?
I think I‘d be fine as long as I kept it real and disciplined. Quite damaged, still. Some scars will remain. I‘m not as agitated irl as I appear here. I‘d prefer to sleep for days atm.
I scream for knowledge that I need to be able to close out a chapter of my life so I may continue with the next one.
I wouldn‘t mind being of help in some way to others who might have the same issues.
I‘ll resume my studies in October but it‘s hard to focus when you are haunted by being killed in silence, in another room. And when society seems to fall apart.
I‘d like the country to go with the time, not be stuck with old thinking that allows it to be exploited like I witnessed it.
The right to knowledge about oneself is universal. I learned that I have a capacity of being very evil. But it‘s not what I want to be. Most evil believed it was doing good, initially.
On August 29 2024 01:27 Jealous wrote: Please seek medical help.
Please take this post seriously
Agreed
You know nothing of this place. You‘re just a hater. It‘d turn you insane as well with how it‘s governed.
I think people who comment are more likely to care about your wellbeing than hate you man.
I have no reason to hate you. I like you and want you to be well.
Thanks. I was prickly sorry. I have to figure out what they did to me with zero information except bits and pieces in a very dysfunctional country. And it‘s mentally exhausting.
What does a 'good' outcome look like for you?
Getting rid of the secrecy and being lied to and old habits/diseases however one wants to look at it.
The more I write here the more they freak out on average around me but nobody would admit they‘re reading my posts while knowing my identity.
Possibly also because of someone who took credit for my ideas or even my account name.
I think I‘d like more trustworthy authorities who can stop things from escalating in time by being open, not sneaky dirt collectors.
If all of this happens what would that look like? what would the outcome be in terms of your life?
I think I‘d be fine as long as I kept it real and disciplined. Quite damaged, still. Some scars will remain. I‘m not as agitated irl as I appear here. I‘d prefer to sleep for days atm.
I scream for knowledge that I need to be able to close out a chapter of my life so I may continue with the next one.
I wouldn‘t mind being of help in some way to others who might have the same issues.
I‘ll resume my studies in October but it‘s hard to focus when you are haunted by being killed in silence, in another room. And when society seems to fall apart.
I‘d like the country to go with the time, not be stuck with old thinking that allows it to be exploited like I witnessed it.
My unsolicited advice is to focus on the parts of this that are positive and forward facing and try to let go of the things that are holding you back or that making you feel bad.
For sure acknowledge the things that have been shit, but do it with the aim of moving towards:
- Closing that chapter of your life and moving forward
Its not that easy to do for sure, and it probably sounds giga lame. But some things are too big to control, so try to focus on what you can control and what makes your life as happy and healthy as possible.
One of my family friends is schizophrenic. He was our neighbor and the father of my childhood friend. He was a funny, gregarious, and intelligent research scientist.
About 10 years ago he started going off the rails. He was around 50 years old. This is an atypical time of presentation for this condition but not unheard of. On the other hand, you are right around one of the classic risk periods for young people who experience these symptoms for the first time.
Anyway, my friend (his son) had already moved out and was going to medical school in a Metropolitan area not too far away. So, it was just the father and his wife, who was also a doctor. However, both were either in denial, or too afraid, or too timid to do anything for a long time. His paranoia kept growing and growing. It started with checking his car for bugs planted by the police. Eventually it was disabling their mobile phone plan and hiring an electrician to inspect their house. Losing his job. Going on angry rants at his wife for putting them at risk by leaving the home to get groceries. Finally, it was prohibiting his wife from talking to anyone at all. He was even pushing her to quit her job because he thought her coworkers were out to get her. He would spend his days pacing the house looking for bugs, raving about conspiracy theories to take him down, and setting up cameras and recording equipment all around his property and obsessively monitoring any activity outside, believing that the government was now either bugging and mind controlling wild animals to venture onto his woodland property or maybe they were hyper-realistic robots and not wild animals at all.
Eventually the wife had enough and bought a burner phone and coordinated with her son and my parents to stage an intervention and have him committed. He spent a year there and came out saying he was better, how he understood that he had gone off the deep end and was thinking irrationally, etc. It only took a few months after release for him to think his psychiatrist was a government plant meant to spy on him which is why he was asking him so many questions. He thought the psychiatrist was trying to find out how much he knew about the conspiracy to take control of his mind and his family. He thought the pills dulled his senses and made him too hazy to see the "truth" happening around him. So, he stopped taking them.
After several months of regression, he was committed again. He spent a much longer time there this time, I think close to 2 years. He's been out for about a year now and seems to be stable with his new medicine and treatment plan. After a while, he has started reaching out to people again, having fun at social events, and never talks about some wingnut government conspiracies anymore. My parents were so elated to have their friends back that they actually canceled a weekend meet-up with me to invite them over lol. Everyone is super relieved to have him "back," but there is still the lingering fear that one day he might snap again and do something that is abusive and unsafe for himself and his family. His son and his wife are clearly traumatized by all of this.
Vivax, nip it in the bud. Go willingly for a psych evaluation. If you are 100% clear-minded and there is a real conspiracy against you, they can help you. If there isn't and these are just the machinations of a sick mind, it's better to get it treated now than to lose 10 years of your life indulging in it and fighting it.
No one here can help you. None of your posts here will lead to a positive outcome for you, whether the conspiracy is real or not. The only person who can help you out of this is you, so please choose to help yourself by seeking professional, medical, psychiatric assistance. Whatever it costs, it is a bargain compared to losing 10 years of your life and hurting those closest to you.
Psychosis or ptsd is more likely. I don‘t suffer from hallucinations or disregard norms in conversations. My self control is improving. But I have crippling anxiety.
Dumping parts of my past is an effort at clearing my head. Also at finding out what happened during the mafia games two years ago.
It‘s a good story, I have an overwhelming sense of wanting to escape somewhere though.
I‘ve also had drones spy on me through the windows for some reason, so don‘t tell me I‘m making it up. This place is beautiful but also really creepy in a way.
You could say darkness crept over it and affected me.
On September 04 2024 09:00 Vivax wrote: Psychosis or ptsd is more likely. I don‘t suffer from hallucinations or disregard norms in conversations. My self control is improving. But I have crippling anxiety.
Dumping parts of my past is an effort at clearing my head. Also at finding out what happened during the mafia games two years ago.
It‘s a good story, I have an overwhelming sense of wanting to escape somewhere though.
I‘ve also had drones spy on me through the windows for some reason, so don‘t tell me I‘m making it up. This place is beautiful but also really creepy in a way.
You could say darkness crept over it and affected me.
Take photos and videos of these physical events like drones outside of your window. It will help you differentiate reality from fiction and perhaps more importantly, prove it to others.
Whether it's schizophrenia, PTSD, psychosis, whatever - get help for it. We can't diagnose ourselves if we are mentally ill, the same way that a broken thermometer can't tell the temperature, and more importantly can't tell that it can't tell the temperature. We can describe our state and condition as we perceive it to a trained third party who will in turn have the experience and objectivity to run a differential diagnosis. Whether all of this is real or not, it is too big for you to handle on your own. Please, please seek help ASAP.
On September 04 2024 09:00 Vivax wrote: Psychosis or ptsd is more likely. I don‘t suffer from hallucinations or-
I'm gonna stop you right there.
I was just in Katowice and Prague.
You're living in a cold war that ended 35 years ago.
These people couldn't hide spy work if they tried, and I am a relative of actual American spies.
Every evidence of a government thinking YOU are worth those resource expenditures is indeed phantasm. If YOU were worth that, you'd be dead or locked up. Believe me, governments move quick and effectively. Surveillance is just to see if someone is doing suspect things or not and rarely lasts long.
You've been "surveilled" way too long, for way too thin of a reason, Mr. Gorbamachop. Unless you are Xi Jinping in which case, let your people go free, Pharaoh.
What do you think Austria is, Switzerland? But seriously even they aren't THAT rich.
No, dude, go see a shrink and live real life. It's better. Don't start believing in the matrix when there isn't one.
From one whack job to another! LET THE MADNESS UNITE FOR THE CURE!!!
although, I don't think there is a cure for mine. Sadge.
I was learning 한국 in the hopes of a job in the home of my favorite soup, God help me I will botch the spelling, but 냉면(spelling?) Is from
I won't even try this one Pyongyang.
Can you imagine this stupid slam fish trying to watch north Koreans and go all James bond on them? P h a t chance lol
Vivax I also suffer delusions that my wife has bugged my phone. She seems to "know" when I have versus haven't watched a certain Tsukasa having a grand old time on some Japanese dude's junk and tried to share a part of it all wistfully and teary eyed. Thing is, (until now) I don't tell TL that shit, I tell her and she gets kinda stunned and says she knows all men use porn, she doesn't have to bug my phone and we actually laugh together about it (and she says shit like this is why I am leaving you, punk- which restarts the blue funk) and that is better for it than any therapy I can think of.
You have the unlucky lot that you didn't marry someone B e f o r e this shit set in, and have it latch only to them.
I might also get religious about it but no way that will help u m8, unless you really really buy in which I doubt you will.
Yeah prayer also helps a lot. Yes, I think demonic forces that are orchestrating my divorce and getting a Foothold every time I head out looking for ladies from the place that conquered my wife's place and yes, men from where raped her ancestor, are also playing with my mind because I have opened it to them to do so. .weird maybe but not entirely madcap. Evil and twisted absolutely, I never deny I am an evil bastard! A horny one too. I am retarded too
Ok ok ok I will let that one rest (not! Because I am evil, remember? I am having way too much fun with this : ) But anyway the delusions are in fact madcap and my wife is very honest which helps those specific issues and sears me with others
Long airing of dirty laundry with which to say, Vivax I am nuts and I can tell you are going more nuts than me. Getting help will help you pay for the help, if I read the situation right, which is admittedly not a very dissing argument.
Sad to learn Austria doesn't have nationalized Healthcare. I thought us Californians only had to worry about that.
Before we go hang with Hawaii.
Alaska can come too.
THE END!
Oh no wait I forgot Jealous post is better than mine, I know that, but I can't sit here and say nothing like I think it's chill or that I don't think Jealous is right
BUT EVEN THOUFH YOU SMARTER THAN ME DONT MAKES ME CHANGE POLITICS
YET
UH
well
I MUST REMAIN RETARDED STILL! And evil too hehehehe
And, VIVAx! In complete contradiction to what I said earlier, this!
There is truth here too, took a damned long time to find Saddam and Osama. But that's the beauty of it!
Your phantoms are both too fucking capable and too fucking lazy! No real government is ABLE to do what you suspect yours is doing E I T H E R. W A Y! Too fucking expensive and capable, too fucking lazy and impotent. Why not just nab you now and make you what they want you to be and be done wasting money on you? I don't know is not a valid answer here! That response means you don't know how to think like a totalitarian system! And if you don't know that, you can't be worth being watched. Don't care how much money you have or anything else. Again unless you are Kim Jong Un or something. Dude if you had secrets or knowledge they want they torture you. If you have blackmail they kill you.
Why sit at "suspect" so long? That is a total failure of "understand why governments do this type of shit".
You can just pick a random psychiatrist in a different city if you want to keep your movements unpredictable. Call around/shop around for an early appointment.
On September 04 2024 14:33 Alakaslam wrote: Oh but there could actually be a drone enthusiast or a prankster teen pointing drones at Vivax. Not sure having photos would help
We could ask Dandel about those but I suspect he has been abducted under similar circumstances after solving his own puzzle. Maybe he enjoys getting probed.
I had the weirdest dreams tonight. It‘s a good thing for a change. What‘s bad is what‘s going to happen around here with a lot of super annoyed inhabitants due to weaponization of internet. Can‘t blame them.
Btw they can observe you for a decade. This isn‘t like the US. There‘s paramilitaries.
They are doing a better job at spotting the pattern in youth lately. I know who I need to go to. Baldie should understand the degree of mental fuckery I‘ve been put through.
Then he might slay me but that‘s life. I am aware I was monsterified and something inside me died and I am still trying to make something better out of that.
There is no reason at all good or bad for Austria to do it, that argument is pure bullshit from your phantasm
Let's say Austria can watch their populace super closely and pervasive for eternity
Then it is just China. There are probably a million cameras on every street corner to see if you jaywalk
People survive China every day
YOU ARE PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIC
ME TOO BUT AT LEAST MY WIFE DOES HAVE VALID REASON TO BUG MY PHONE LOL. but it is illegal as hell and she doesn't want to so obviously she does not. I change like a little gremlin when I see porn so, she can tell 😅
Meanwhile you are seeing faces and hearing things that aren't there. Get some help, I can tell you from experience it is worth it
EPT
