[–]manisier 14 points 7 minutes de ça*
Yep.
Hello people, figured I'd post this here and educate everyone and fans of CLG and myself, so its nice and clear and there's no confusion or weird theories that some niggas may randomly dream of. This shit is pretty long, I think. I wouldn't read all of it if I saw a wall of text this big myself.
The news: I am now a sub for CLG!
For a long itme coming I have always felt the discomfort when playing team games, especially tournament games (even in the games in which I do really well and carry I still don't feel the 'right flow').
There are definitely a lot of shit talkers out there trying to piss pro players off all the time, but they are usually not the people that can get to someone like me (just makes me annoyed, that's all, most of the time). Most of these unwanted feelings I feel really stems from long terms of decreasing faith in me from my teammates, which has been snowballing increasingly.
And not for just the past month or two, but for a while now. This 'snowballing decreasing faith' shit, as I call it, is a common enemy of HotshotGG as well! This was often the main reason that there was a lot of arguing and raging both recently and in the past. But, I actually feel it's not too bad to actually get it out of your system - like Hotshot cries about it for hours at times and often brings it back up at different times again too. For I have just tried to focus on my own game for a long time ignoring what they say, but when I go in scrims I still end up focusing pretty hard on what people think rather then playing the game and making my own plays and coordinating with my team.
It's not really their fault, though, it's just how the jiji brain functions, probably. They're human and it's just how humans respond to things, and it just kind of snowballed ever since a long time ago I guess! For the longest time I have felt it is pretty damn hard to improve. Ever since I played DotA back in the day my confidence level has been fucking God almighty high, twice as high as Doublelift's, easily. This has been true for a long time, stretching all the way back to season 1. Confidence, faith and trust really is something for a player like myself, too bad I lost most of it and started playing halfassedly, stuck with the same problems for a long time.
This shit is getting really long. Bottom line, even if they didn't decide to give the starter position to L1nk, I feel like I would have wanted to let him have it for the above reasons and general discomfort (I don't think he's much better than me, though, I am still very confident).
So, fans of jiji, I will be more relaxed from now, streaming, training myself, and in entertainment mode, expect more streams and more kitties and more talking to you niggas.
P.S. I have also been asked to be the coach for CLG and move in (yes, if I had been a starter for season 3 I would have moved in). I think I can really help them get into shape and stop their slacking so hard. However I at the moment I feel like it's too hard and annoying to command these silly, wild, crazy niggas to do their tasks properly. Maybe at a later date.
P.P.S Donations are welcome from now on! I will not have any real salary as a sub and I will rely on streaming (on own3d, deal with it) for awhile to feed my kitties while I relax and turn on entertainment/training mode! I have no idea how to post a button on Facebook and own3d, it's too hard.
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=7L73AHVXD8D86 How does HTML work?
I will never forget the 5th of October, 2011 during the IEM Guangzhou grand final. I died to a Gangplank gank against Misaya on Annie, then got ganked few more times then Annie snowballed into oblivion.
tl;dr: I'm off to own solo queue noobs and maybe make a ranked 5s team for with solo queuers and scrim LCS teams for fun.
EPT
