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Lakers center Kwame Brown isn't a exactly league leader in steals, but he allegedly scored one sweet takeaway in Hermosa Beach over the weekend.
No matter how you slice it, Brown, known for small hands that occasionally fumble passes on the basketball court, enjoyed a real cakewalk Saturday, according to a police report. For reasons only he knows (and he's not talking) Brown allegedly snatched a man's $190 2-by-2-foot chocolate birthday cake.
Once he had the cake, Brown opted not to eat it, too. He instead allegedly hurled it at the man and struck him in the back.
It all went down at the Blue 32 nightclub on Hermosa Avenue.
Several Lakers headed to the bar following their 109-106 victory over the Orlando Magic on Friday, according to a Hermosa Beach police report. Just down the street, Alexander Martinez, the man who filed the report, was celebrating his 30th birthday at the Shore Restaurant.
About 1:45 a.m. Martinez left the restaurant, his birthday cake in his arms, and walked north. He stopped in front of Blue 32. According to Martinez's report, Brown came along, grabbed the cake out of his arms and threw it at him. The report gives no indication why Brown would do such a thing.
The 5-foot-9, 165-pound Martinez, tried to confront the 6-foot-11, 270-pound Brown, but Brown got into a white limousine, the report said.
Twelve hours later Martinez visited the Hermosa Beach police station to file a police report on the purloined pastry.
Detectives looked into a possible case of grand theft and presented it to the Hermosa Beach city prosecutor, who decided to throw the case out.
Lakers spokesman John Black said the team was aware of the episode, but had been informed prosecutors were not seeking charges.
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kwame was obviously intoxicated lolol
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He probably did it just to see if he can get away with it.
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What the fuck?.
I'm seriously thinking that we are now in the time when I say "Fuck" and everyone goes retarded.
-_- I can not believe this shit.
lol.
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thats pretty funny. he was probably high.
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The "click here" doesn't do anything.
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i remember an article about nba players getting they're metaphors wrong, one was "it was like a walk in the cake"
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On January 18 2007 14:09 EAGER-beaver wrote:
The "click here" doesn't do anything.
Oh.. I copied and pasted the advertisement too. Don't worry, it was just some advertisement for LA Galaxy tickets. "Be part of History" it said.
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On January 18 2007 14:09 lil.sis wrote:
thats pretty funny. he was probably high.
when you're high you don't just throw away a $190 chocolate cake
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I wanted to make such a bad negro joke but ill refrain because people might get me wrong! so mature?<=-
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--;
What a horrible title for the story. Misleading =[
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On January 18 2007 14:13 CoralReefer wrote:Show nested quote +On January 18 2007 14:09 lil.sis wrote:
thats pretty funny. he was probably high. when you're high you don't just throw away a $190 chocolate cake
Yeah, and this clearly has nothing to do with being high or otherwise influenced.
I would SO do this if I were a millionaire. Go steal someone's gigantic birthday cake and throw it on them. Then drive off in a limo.
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
On January 18 2007 14:15 Servolisk wrote:Show nested quote +On January 18 2007 14:13 CoralReefer wrote:On January 18 2007 14:09 lil.sis wrote:
thats pretty funny. he was probably high. when you're high you don't just throw away a $190 chocolate cake Yeah, and this clearly has nothing to do with being high. I would SO do this if I were a millionaire. Go steal someone's gigantic birthday cake and throw it on them. Then drive off in a limo.
I really do think that if the victim has a good lawyer and the funds to support it (and hates celebrity athletes) he could sue for quite a lot.
shit, i'm hungry.
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ah, the things you can get away with when youre rich
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who says it was marijuana?
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On January 18 2007 14:17 j0ehoe wrote:
ah, the things you can get away with when youre rich
true, true. managers do similar things with millions of euros over here in germany >_<
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I see, Kwame can grab a huge cake from a mans arms with no problem. But catching a basketball? No chance in hell.
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On January 18 2007 14:17 thedeadhaji wrote:Show nested quote +On January 18 2007 14:15 Servolisk wrote:On January 18 2007 14:13 CoralReefer wrote:On January 18 2007 14:09 lil.sis wrote:
thats pretty funny. he was probably high. when you're high you don't just throw away a $190 chocolate cake Yeah, and this clearly has nothing to do with being high. I would SO do this if I were a millionaire. Go steal someone's gigantic birthday cake and throw it on them. Then drive off in a limo. I really do think that if the victim has a good lawyer and the funds to support it (and hates celebrity athletes) he could sue for quite a lot. shit, i'm hungry.
Hell yeah... he could probably get almost two hundred dollars if he played his cards right.
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lol grand theft. Is this where the manpower in our justice system is going? Id say there was some elaborate backstory involving some sort of expensive item being baked into the cake, or a drunken dare.
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Still, he has no incentive to do this. He should be banned from the US and A for doing something like this and be glad things like this don't get you the death penalty. An alternative punishment is to disallow birthday cakes for him and his family for the rest of his life. Just because there isn't much damage doesn't mean it's ok to do stuff like this. With the years i'm getting more and more pissed off with people who do shit for no reason. You can't hide behind being rich, sucker. Humanity doesn't need you and your 'passing skill' to keep existing, in fact, we'd be better off without you.
Look!...
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United States10774 Posts
Kwame what the tits were you thinking?
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On January 18 2007 19:47 aseq wrote:
Still, he has no incentive to do this. He should be banned from the US and A for doing something like this and be glad things like this don't get you the death penalty. An alternative punishment is to disallow birthday cakes for him and his family for the rest of his life. Just because there isn't much damage doesn't mean it's ok to do stuff like this. With the years i'm getting more and more pissed off with people who do shit for no reason. You can't hide behind being rich, sucker. Humanity doesn't need you and your 'passing skill' to keep existing, in fact, we'd be better off without you.
Look!...
What?
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
my god.. so random. Shame the cake was so much money, bad luck on his part.
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On January 18 2007 19:32 useless wrote:
lol grand theft. Is this where the manpower in our justice system is going? Id say there was some elaborate backstory involving some sort of expensive item being baked into the cake, or a drunken dare.
A cake worth $200 doesn't need a backstory
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
so where is the source for this article --;;
fake?
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United States20663 Posts
On January 18 2007 14:14 thedeadhaji wrote:that's a similie if it uses "like" or "as" :O but anyways, I'd be sad if some 6 foot 11 mofo ruined my 30th birthday cake  Sue for emotional and mental damage man.
there are english professors who argue that similes are a subset of metaphors. irrelevant though.
should be fake. if it's real, I pity America.
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Cayman Islands24199 Posts
I'm hungry. Think of the starvin children!
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On January 19 2007 00:16 thedeadhaji wrote:
so where is the source for this article --;;
fake?
google
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Why did the guy file a report 12 hrs later? =/
They need to get Phoenix Wright on the case, Kwame is innocent!
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I would be so pissed if some huge dumbass grabbed my birthday cake and threw it at me. Maybe he filed it 12 hours later because it was the middle of the night and he was probably drunk off his ass as well.
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omg we need a crusade against NEWS-THREADS.
i've seen like 5 topics easily, that are just copy-pasted news from another site.
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It's not like if anyone of us did it we would go to jail. we would MAYBe have to pay for the cake and for dry cleaning
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EPT
