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On April 16 2012 15:31 Jisall wrote:Show nested quote +On April 16 2012 15:23 MrSkyfire wrote:friend linked me this as i'd been going through some dark things lately.. dno what about it kept me going but it did.. thought i'd share with tl, but i found it with search (dont need to be banned for not search .. last thing i need ..) Trina, a college student, 21 years old
Fall quarter I called Suicide Prevention. I'd called them before and the people were nice, but this time the woman acted a little indignant. "Why the hell do you want to do something like that?" she asked. We talked until she said she had other phone calls. But she made me promise I wouldn't try it without calling back first. I had a bottle of Coricidin from a wisdom tooth operation. I'd been thinking about it for a month off and on. Much later that night I took ten Coricidin and went to bed. I woke up in the morning feeling really rotten -- weepy, groggy. I could hardly move I thought I was going to die any minute. My roommate came home and got a friend to drive me to the school infirmary, where they gave me something that made me sick to my stomach. The doctor who gave it to me calmed me down. She said it happens to a lot of people, the pills wouldn't hurt me. I felt tingly, like I might pass out any minute.
I was immediately taken in a wheelchair to the psychiatrist's office. I talked to him about five minutes. He kept yelling ta me about why did I take the pills, why didn't I do this or that. I remember thinking, boy this man is a real jerk. I told him I didn't want to see him any more. He said, "That's fine," and put me in a locked room with bars on the windows. I couldn't make phone calls. I felt humiliated, which made me angry. I'm not crazy. I'm not weird. I don't want people to look at me like I'm nuts. I'm not some nutty kid who tried to knock herself off. I was most angry at being stuck in that room. I expected to be put in a straitjacket any minute. I complained until they moved me a pretty room and let me make phone calls.
I was there about two weeks. My psychiatrist kept harping at me about school -- was I going to stay in or drop out? I saw him ten minutes a day. The other patients and one orderly helped me a lot more than he did. I just wanted to find a place where I could be alone and think about things. I left feeling like not much had been accomplished, except letting me know that I didn't want to attempt it again. No -- I feel like I've become a lot more sensitive to people. I don't look at their problems as trivial any more. I almost like it when my friends come to me with problems. I feel like I can help now. I still haven't told the two people I was most angry at -- my father and my boyfriend -- why I was in the hospital. so close to home it is unreal.. i keep going because of my friend, maybe these notes will give someone some persepctive like it did me When you go threw shit, you always come out stronger. Its wierd, because most of the things that drive people to suicide are mental conflicts. If you can fight that mental battle and win, then I feel those are some of the strongest people in the world. Physical pain holds no weight in their lives, they have already conquered the mental pain.
I definitely agree with you that you come out stronger in the end, though it's shitty if this conflict takes a long time and your life basically stands still for a large part meanwhile. Leaves a lot of gaps to fill afterward.
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Removed; Noticed original quotee changed post.
I shouldn't respond to something that was changed. 
Edit edit; Someone brought my attention to the fact that this thread is 5 years old. I probably should have noticed that too. 
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On April 16 2012 18:04 VanyarExile wrote:Show nested quote +On April 16 2012 17:44 ZenithM wrote:
You seriously created an account to lecture others in a somewhat random thread in a Starcraft forum?
Well, not that it was a bad post, but still... I had an account. But since you get a pw sent to you by email and don't pick one. I originally logged in and forgot about it. Well, i lost my email and got logged out. And while i'm perfectly content with lurking for the most part, i felt i had to comment here. (What i failed to notice, was the fact that the thread is 5 years old. And who i'm hypothetically lecturing as you put it, have probably been gone for a long time.) But i stand by my post non the less. I might just be a random (and outdated) thread on a Starcraft forum. But i was never one to need a big stage. If one single person reads that post and reflects on it. I would consider that a resounding success. And if no one cares, what is lost? It becomes just another random, unread text to join the billions before it.
I read your post in its entirety at least, I was just questioning the motives a bit, but it did give me plenty to think about
Edit: haha, you edited. but I liked your explanation so I'll leave it here if you'll allow me to.
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Man I can't believe humans even survive adolescence between "Hey, let's down this vodka and sprint across the highway lol!" and "omg she said what??? My life is over, goodbye everyone...".
The range between not giving fucks about stuff that can actually end you and then placing insane gravity on completely trivial matters is surreal.
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bunch of alt-QQ ers.
Should always stick to end just to give life and death a big "Fuck you"
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On April 16 2012 18:10 VanyarExile wrote:Show nested quote +On April 16 2012 18:08 ZenithM wrote:I read your post in its entirety at least, I was just questioning the motives a bit, but it did give me plenty to think about You had the decency to do what i doubt many will, and actually read text longer than 2 lines. And i'm not blind to how odd it looks to put something like that on a thread 5 years old. (Although i hadn't seen that at the time. )
I read your excellent post and replied in my own way.
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I never knew this thread existed and now I'm leaving it because it's just too sad.
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I find this actually extremely fascinating. Suicide notes are almost inherently interesting, since it is really the last message that you are leaving with everyone you love and hate before removing yourself from reality. Really says a lot about you, in my opinion.
Personally I have considered what I would say in a suicide note, and I realized that I would probably go on for pages addressing everybody I ever knew, trying to say everything I ever wanted to to them. In its own little way I am sure it would be exhilarating, since no longer would I have any inhibitions about what to filter. I could be perfectly honest, and I really wish that I could do that now without having to kill myself, just saying what I want to because it would make life so much easier.
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The starcraft one is definitely instantly recognizable. It's kind of funny how the UED just appear out of nowhere. In fact the entire starcraft universe is a bit weird considering earth has better technology than some slow colony ships. You'd think Earth would develop significantly faster than light travel if at all before colonizing a distant planet. It's believable.
At least it doesn't just make xel naga appear from nowhere to become a primary villain. :/
The thread on people being stressed because their bodies haven't adapted to the demands of society is interesting, but I felt obvious. And even then, it beats being hungry :p
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On April 16 2012 16:11 DeceiverSC2 wrote:Show nested quote +On April 16 2012 16:07 Satire wrote:On April 16 2012 15:58 obesechicken13 wrote:On April 16 2012 15:31 Jisall wrote:
When you go threw shit, you always come out stronger.
Its wierd, because most of the things that drive people to suicide are mental conflicts. If you can fight that mental battle and win, then I feel those are some of the strongest people in the world. Physical pain holds no weight in their lives, they have already conquered the mental pain. I think this is true too. Any idea why the brain does this? There is a theory on it called "Post Traumatic Growth". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posttraumatic_growthIt makes sense in a way. Essentially if you are able to overcome obstacles and work through a very difficult time, you begin to gain resiliency and perspective. Of course this isn't true for everyone, but it does indeed lead to support "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". Contrary to what people say, what drives people to suicide most often is not mental conflicts. It is actually feelings as if you have nothing going on for you, you are a burden to others, and ultimately you feel all alone. This feeling can come from mental conflicts, such as depression, but that feeling of burden and being alone is pretty much the unifying factor in most suicides. It's sad, because in a lot of cases a simple kindness could have probably saved a lot of these people. Reading these suicide letters really drills this point home.  Suicide mostly comes from depression, schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder. Each come from different things. For example depression comes from the chemical serotonin being sent back into the same nueroreceptors it came from. That theory is retarded and backed by 0 sound evidence, please use facts next time instead of this unbelievably silly notion.
Depression is not caused by serotonin being sent back into the same neuroreceptors. That's not how neurotransmitters work. They actually are not 100% sure in how depression is caused. Much like they aren't sure about how many of the medications work that target brain functions and stability. Many experts agree that serotonin plays a role in that the levels are either too low or the serotonin itself is unable to reach the receptors, but I believe you have the function of SSRI's (selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors - essentially causing the neurotransmitter to remain in the cleft much longer to artificially boost levels) confused with that theory. There are also theories about how other neurotransmitters, such as GABA and even dopamine, have an effect on depression. You'd be absolutely horrified if you realized how little is understood about mental illness, and coincidentally, how the medications work. This is especially true with schizophrenic medications, as schizophrenic and schizo-affective disorders are barely understood.
http://www.webmd.com/depression/recognizing-depression-symptoms/serotonin
But what would I know - it's not like I'm in the medical field and spent 3 months doing clinical in the largest mental health institution in my province - OH WAIT... Here's some articles from various qualitative research experiences supporting post traumatic growth. Feel free to use your own fantastic source/evidence finding abilities to derive the articles from their respective sources:
Gerrish, N., Dyck, M., & Marsh, A. (2009). Post-traumatic growth and bereavement. Mortality, 14(3), 226-244.
Kunst, M. (2011). Affective personality type, post-traumatic stress disorder symptom severity and post-traumatic growth in victims of violence. Stress & Health: Journal Of The International Society For The Investigation Of Stress, 27(1), 42-51. doi:10.1002/smi.1318
McElheran, M., Briscoe-Smith, A., Khaylis, A., Westrup, D., Hayward, C., & Gore-Felton, C. (2012). A conceptual model of post-traumatic growth among children and adolescents in the aftermath of sexual abuse. Counselling Psychology Quarterly, 25(1), 73-82. doi:10.1080/09515070.2012.665225
Park, C., Chmielewski, J., & Blank, T. (2010). Post-traumatic growth: finding positive meaning in cancer survivorship moderates the impact of intrusive thoughts on adjustment in younger adults. Psycho-Oncology, 19(11), 1139-1147. doi:10.1002/pon.1680
Scrignaro, M., Barni, S., & Magrin, M. (2011). The combined contribution of social support and coping strategies in predicting post-traumatic growth: a longitudinal study on cancer patients. Psycho-Oncology, 20(8), 823-831. doi:10.1002/pon.1782
Sherr, L., Nagra, N., Kulubya, G., Catalan, J., Clucas, C., & Harding, R. (2011). HIV infection associated post-traumatic stress disorder and post-traumatic growth - A systematic review. Psychology, Health & Medicine, 16(5), 612-629. doi:10.1080/13548506.2011.579991
Zoellner, T., Rabe, S., Karl, A., & Maercker, A. (2011). Post-traumatic growth as outcome of a cognitive-behavioural therapy trial for motor vehicle accident survivors with PTSD. Psychology & Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice, 84(2), 201-213. doi:10.1348/147608310X520157
That's just to start with. Obviously this theory is bunk, zero supporting evidence. Post Traumatic Growth is indeed a fact, but how people grow and adapt is completely subjective. Suicide is often caused by depression, but the stigma that there is something inherently "wrong" with all individuals who commit suicide and this "something wrong" is caused by mental illness is completely misinformed. People with mental illness are much more prone to winding up homeless than dead. The reasons people commit suicide is ultimately subjective as well, but often these people truly do feel that there is no way out and they are alone in their struggles. The human capacity of connectedness can make such a difference here.
PS - there is a substantial amount of irony when you call a theory "retarded" with the implied subtext of how in-depth your knowledge and understanding is on mental illness. /slowclap
On April 16 2012 17:22 VanyarExile wrote:
To everyone in the thread who mindlessly repeat "Suicide is quitting." "People who commit suicide are worthless and selfish."
F U.
Shows that you have a lot of fucking growing and expanding to do.
Like someone mentioned earlier; Killing yourself to get back at others or to prove a point is silly. And unfortunately the letters prove that this is sometimes the case. And unfortunately lots of teenagers kill themselves before life ever really gets going.
HOWEVER. People also kill themselves because they legitimately feel they are better off dead.
Leaving notes behind to anyone who cares about them apologizing for putting them through grief. Never doing so to make anyone feel bad, or to change the world.
If you haven't sat at home with a gun, a knife, pills or a length of rope. Simply pondering your existence.
If you haven't stood by the train tracks or sat with your feet dangling over the edge. And seriously considered if non existence would be an improvement... You have no right to ever judge the people who have. Ever.
If you think you know. If you think that everyone no matter what they have been through should simply "suck it up."
If you think less of someones who hurts so much that they are willing forfeit life. I will give you another resounding F U.
That moment will either be your end, or it can be your rebirth.
There is a certain liberation to consciously, and in a very real way making the choice of whether you want to continue.
Many times I've heard "I didn't ask to be born." or "I wish i had never been born." Well here is your chance to reset that score. Here is your chance to choose.
You end it now, all your pain will go away, you will no longer exist. There is no pleasure, no pain, no nothing. You are free.
Or you put down the gun, put away knife, return the pills to the cabinet and throw the rope in the basement.
You watch the train pass and lay down to watch the sky instead of the ground, streets or water below.
And if you can, you change your life. Recognize much of the stuff that brought you here might be bullshit.
This is the point people reach for different reasons. Some simply can't face the prospect of going on. And know, that some have very good reasons for feeling this way.
Others realize that death is not the answer to their particular problems.
No matter which path they choose, these are all people who are there for a reason. Don't dare think less of them unless you have intricate knowledge of how and why they ended up there.
Exceptionally well said. No amount of book smarts can account for the human factor and complexity of this issue.
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On April 16 2012 18:22 padfoota wrote:
bunch of alt-QQ ers.
Should always stick to end just to give life and death a big "Fuck you"
people like you make me sick. pretending to know what another person thinks and goes through. And even pretending like your gonna act tough in the face of death lol, i bet your gonna cry like a little girl when the time comes. Anyone that claims not to be afraid of death is either lying or an idiot.
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i think ppl that say suicide is selfish are retarded. Sure it might not be easy for ppl that know you but if you don't want to live it's your own fucking right.It's fucking selfish of them to even say that. The dude just killed himself and you think about you feel?
I think about suicide almost every day. When i see a train coming up on the street I ask myself: is this the day ? I'm 30y old and it's been 14y since i last had a girl. And every time i like a girl i get hit in the face (figuratively, meaning rejection) and hate myself for ever even thinking i had a chance. My job is uninteresting even boring. I play games all day (when i'm not working) to avoid reality, at least there i have a well defined goal. What is the point of life ? work sleep work sleep ? fuck that.
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On April 16 2012 20:04 B.I.G. wrote:Show nested quote +On April 16 2012 18:22 padfoota wrote:
bunch of alt-QQ ers.
Should always stick to end just to give life and death a big "Fuck you" people like you make me sick. pretending to know what another person thinks and goes through. And even pretending like your gonna act tough in the face of death lol, i bet your gonna cry like a little girl when the time comes. Anyone that claims not to be afraid of death is either lying or an idiot.
I've seen plenty of patients in my short medical career who weren't afraid of death. Here's a little thought experiment for you: Try imagining what it is like to breath through a straw, every single breath is taxing for you, and over time your muscles become so fatigued that your own chest is too heavy for you to lift, making it impossible for you to breathe any longer and you die of asphyxiation...
Mind you, the above isn't a short process, it takes years from the onset of the disease and you won't have been able to walk around for weeks when the day that you die finally arrives... Trust me, these patients aren't afraid of death, nor are they idiots... People really need to stop making black/white statements, because those aren't fit to describe this world.
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On April 16 2012 21:06 Nizaris wrote:
i think ppl that say suicide is selfish are retarded. Sure it might not be easy for ppl that know you but if you don't want to live it's your own fucking right.It's fucking selfish of them to even say that. The dude just killed himself and you think about you feel?
I think about suicide almost every day. When i see a train coming up on the street I ask myself: is this the day ? I'm 30y old and it's been 14y since i last had a girl. And every time i like a girl i get hit in the face (figuratively, meaning rejection) and hate myself for ever even thinking i had a chance. My job is uninteresting even boring. I play games all day (when i'm not working) to avoid reality, at least there i have a well defined goal. What is the point of life ? work sleep work sleep ? fuck that.
You might want to:
1) Contact your doctor and tell him how you feel - he can refer you on to either a psychiatrist or psychologist. It really sounds like you need some help and I'm sure he'll be willing to help you out if you tell him what you just wrote in that post.
2) Think about your perspective on life - what makes one man happy doesn't necessarily make another happy. For instance whilst I couldn't imagine myself happier than when I'll get the villa, volvo and dog (it's a crappy translation of a danish phrase, but you get the picture), my sister wouldn't like any of that, but prefers her own 2 room apartment in the city. Perhaps you are focusing too much on social norms and what they dictate you should want?
EDIT: Apologies for the double post, but felt like I had to respond to Nizaris.
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A lot of these have a really eerie, sombre feeling... Something about reading the words of the wantonly dead, you know...?
On that note...
Married male, age 74
What is a few short years to live in hell. That is all I get around here.
No more I will pay the bills.
No more I will drive the car.
No more I will wash, iron & mend any clothes.
No more I will have to eat the leftover articles that was cooked the day before.
This is no way to live.
Either is it any way to die.
Her grub I can not eat.
At night I can not sleep.
I married the wrong nag-nag-nag and I lost my life.
W.S.
to the undertaker
We have got plenty money to give me a decent burial. Don't let my wife kid you by saying she has not got any money.
Give this note to the cops.
top
Give me liberty or give me death.
W.S.
Hahahaha... Now THAT is honesty. I can't stop reading these things.
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Thanks for necroing this thread, really interesting read. I like the almost poetic quality some of these notes possess. "Give me liberty or give me death."
The one of the father telling his daughter not to enter the bedroom is also quite powerful in its implications.
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this thread is not helping my mood right now
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Vietnam9031 Posts
So Nony has been having depression (?) for quite some time. Hope he gets rid of it soon.
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On June 19 2006 07:55 Aukai wrote:Show nested quote +On June 19 2006 07:35 decafchicken wrote:On June 19 2006 06:51 venusian.kohai wrote:On June 19 2006 06:42 Hysterisk wrote:On June 19 2006 06:36 venusian.kohai wrote:
people suiciding are so egocentric, they all think the world revolves around them. That's so cliché. You could say the same for every person doing any number of things. Well, that is the main problem in today's society I believe. How would you explain suicidal people then, I am no zoologist or biologist expert, but I believe we are one of the only species who suicides ourselves. ever heard of lemings? On June 19 2006 07:04 Aukai wrote:Dolphins commit suicide dolphins are also the only other species to have sec for pleasure coincidence? i think not! Dolphins are so cool, my fav animal If you consider them that, since they are smarter than us.
oh my god
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EPT
