Worst breakups you had/know/witnessed - Page 29

This will likely sound like the weirdest story ever, but here goes. When I was about 5 I had dreams about this girl in the woods and I had a dream that my soul split into two and the other half went to this brown haired girl. I used to have this dream a lot. When I was about 10, I was at the swimming pool once and there was this lovely brunette girl who was swimming beside me. She gave me the chills just looking at her. "I recognize this girl", I thought to myself. Her Dad called her name, and I thought I need to remember this girl. Throughout the next 3-4 years I would catch her swimming often and we would often be by each other, but I never had the courage to even say hi.

Once I hit Grade 9 and was in Highschool, I started to see this girl around the high school. Every time I walked by her - instant chills. So strong. I did not have any feelings for this girl, but she gave me the chills like no one's business. The best way to describe this feeling is that this person had some sort of importance in my life. I never knew this girl, but she was something special.

In Grade 11, I went to a school function called the 30 hour famine. The girl was there also. I designed a new game out of every possible piece of gym equipment called "Ultimate Dodge-ball" and she started playing with us. I finally gathered the courage to introduce myself to her. We hung out the entire day and night, and after that we became very good friends. I would tease her all the time recklessly in band class as we shared that class together, and eventually I gathered the courage to ask her out over the phone. (Yes pathetic, I know. Give me a break, it's my first love here!) She said she'd give me an answer at the swimming pool later that night. Of course, like most women who say they're going to do something, she didn't... :-p

I didn't want to make her uncomfortable as I valued her as friend, so I didn't make mention of it. We hung out every day almost; eventually we were officially dating a month later. I had never been so close or excited to be around someone in my life! The first time she took me to her room in the basement, there was a picture of her in a dress in the woods when she was 5 hanging on the wall... Exactly like my dream.

One and a half months in I finally managed to gather the courage to kiss her. We were sitting on top of the monkey bars in a park, gazing at the stars when it started to rain softly. I put my jacket over both our heads to protect us from the rain, leaned in, and went for the kiss. I have never been so nervous about anything in my life... I hit her nose and totally missed her mouth. At this point, I just had to start laughing and so did she. Embarrassed, I asked her if I could try again, and she agreed. We shared our first real kiss. The next day, she came to me with something she had written out. It was a list of what kisses meant. Apparently kissing someone on the nose means that you want to kiss them, so she gave it to me and said that our first kiss was perfect.

Over the years we fell in love. We used to play a game where we'd look at each other eyes and try guess what the other was thinking. We eventually got so good at the game that as the years went by we always knew what the other was thinking. In the first 4 years of this relationship I can only count on 1 hand the amount of arguments we got in and we always resolved them quickly. This girl was my soul mate. She was beautiful inside and out, and better than that, she made me smile and laugh. We had agreed that we would get married one day, and bought promise rings. She frequently showed up to my work with treats or supper or just to visit during my break to see how I was doing. Every day she reminded me of how much she loved me, and how great I was.

Shortly after celebrating our 5th anniversary, I became extremely ill. After the 6th day in the hospital, I was wheelchair bound and my family and my girlfriend had to push me around to do things. On the day I was most ill, my Aunt and my Girlfriend took my IV pole and my wheel chair and we went down town and they helped me pick a birthday card up for my best friend. That night my girlfriend had to wash me up because I was unable to move my arms enough to do it myself. By this point, the infection in my body had spread to my throat and tonsils and my only way of communicating was via writing things in a book.

Shortly after, the doctor came in because my body was rejecting the IV fluids. I was in the process of late stage Septic Shock, my body was rejecting the medication they were giving me and the pain meds were no longer working. My throat was too swollen to eat or drink. There was an intubation tube taped to the side of my bed in the event things got worse. As I worked at the hospital, the doctor was a friend of mine. He told me he was putting a 2nd IV in for morphine for comfort measures. Up until this point I had been refusing, but I had no choice. He quietly took my family and girlfriend aside, and told them that I would likely die but they would do everything to make me comfortable. I remember her face sunk, and her eyes filled with tears, and she ran out of the hospital crying. The nurses in the room began crying. My parents were also crying, and stayed in the room with me the entire night. Later on my girlfriend came back with her Mom, and she mustered the strength to stay by my side all night too. All the while all I could do was sit and write out my thoughts, and be powerless to the fact that I was unable to console them.

I was discharged from the hospital about 5 days after this. I miraculously managed to bring up my white blood cell count to a reasonable level, and mustered the strength to talk and walk around on my own. I spent a month straight in my bed at home. My family made a celebration dinner for me of my favourite food - soft shell tacos. We had a big party with us all. My girlfriend but on a brave face, but had to go to the bathroom where I heard her sobbing. My girlfriend spent that entire month beside me in my bed talking and cuddling with me, crying almost every day. I was unable to do much, and even having sex was very difficult at this time. My girlfriend became very depressed.

A couple months later, she got into drinking and partying very heavily. She became a bar star. As she didn't want to make me worry, she became close friends with one of my close friends and talked to him about all her issues she was dealing with. I tried to stay positive, but I didn't like it. A couple weeks into her party stint I got a phone call from the friend who I had bought the birthday card for, who was in tears at this point, telling me he saw her walk out of the bar holding hands after making out with my close friend. I was devastated.

She admitted to me this was true, and that they fooled around. She was really mixed up at this point. We tried to hold things together. Over that year I was visiting various specialists with my parent's having to drive me to appointments because I was unable to stay awake for more than 4 hours a day and had no energy, even many months after I was released from the hospital. I couldn't really do anything with anyone, and was confined to my bedroom. I used to have nightmares that I could never wake up - I became fearful of falling asleep, but I was too tired to stop myself from sleeping for sometimes 24+ hours at a time. My girlfriend kept telling me she knew I was the best thing she had in her life, and she didn't want to lose me, she was just too messed up to stop it. We went on break for a while, then came off of break. Then broke up. Then got back together. In the mean time, she got sucked in harder and harder, and began to do drugs. I started hearing stories and rumours about her getting drunk and doing things with other guys. I never wanted to believe any of it. Finally, our relationship was in such shambles that she broke up with me because we were no longer happy and she wanted me to do better. This broke my heart in half. I have never been so lost in my entire life.

I lost my identity here. We had dated for 6 years, and she was my soul mate. As said in the first paragraph, this was literally a fairy tale. Stuff like this doesn't just happen to anyone. I decided to fight, but I didn't have the strength. I spent the next 2 years chasing her. We were best friends. We also spent the next two years having sex and even going on trips together. We hung out 3-4 times a week as well, just like before. She kept telling me that we would be back together one day, because we were meant to be. She just needed to sort herself out. I kept waiting. She assured me she wasn't dating anyone else and still loved me. Over the next 2 years I got most of my strength back, and could even go out again. Then came the day of the worst news...

She came to me one day in tears. She said she had kissed a guy behind my back, and that she really enjoyed it and felt terrible. As this bothered her for weeks, I realized it was more than that. Finally, she told me that she had had unprotected sex with him. She was also ovulating at this time, and was worried she was pregnant. I told her not to worry, we could get through it. We were a team. I went and held her hand for her doctor's appointment and stayed and talked with her every night. We got the news - she wasn't pregnant. Shortly after this, something clicked, and she realized that I was the one for her. After 2 years, we started dating and were official again.

You might be mad at me at this point, but I assure you, keep reading.

That Easter (going on 8 years) she brought me a bunch of chocolate to work to surprise me and a stuffed rabbit. She was being just like her old self. This is it I thought! A couple months later however, I realized things had changed between us forever. She was a different person now. What I had been holding out for those 3 years of agony was the person she was, not the person she is. I loved the idea of what she was before I got sick, and I was in love with that life, not with the life I had now... Much like how it began, I phoned her, and we talked. I broke up with her, for good, and told her that a piece of me would always love her. We agreed to stay friends.

This girl and I have a special relationship, even still. She is one of my best friends and we know when each other is hurting and are always there for each other. We still know exactly what the other is thinking. After all of this it took me an additional year to be able to date again, but I got there. She was even the one who pushed me to do it. When the girl turned me down and I told her, she began crying because she wanted me to be happy more than anything. Our friendship is about as pure as pure can be because of what we've been through. Now, 5 years later, I will be one of her bridesmaids (I'm a guy ftw - she insisted) as she gets married to someone that fits her life now.

As for me, I have met some really amazing people over the years. I am on the brink of finishing my nursing degree that I was never able to truly start because of my illness. I believe that true love and soul mates do exist. I have dated a few different girls, and now am going on 10 months with a girl who fits my life now. She reminds me every day of how great I am and of how lucky I am to have her. She could be the one! Who knows?.. But that's what is exciting. Because of the whole ordeal, I am stronger than ever. I know what to accept and what not. More than that, I know the value of myself and what I should and should not put up with. When you lose everything you have, you realize the value of it. When you lose yourself, a similar principle applies as you find yourself back. I am every so grateful for the friends and family that I have now, and the various relationships I have in my life.

"You are not my everything.. You are the person I want to share everything with" This is my mentality now. All the happy and sad things, all the good and bad things, these are what truly make life wonderful. What matters is that you have people to share these things with.

Relationship are hard, and sometimes it seems like you don't get what you put in. I don't believe that to be true though. Maybe it's not what you wanted, but you always do get something in return. And it's something incredibly valuable; you learn bits and pieces about yourself. So for those guys out there going through hardships and break-ups, don't worry. You'll get there. And when you do, it will be all the sweeter because you can appreciate it all that much more.

Don't worry about what you don't possess, relish in all that you do.