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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On January 12 2017 21:38 farvacola wrote:+ Show Spoiler +I am strongly turned off by women (and people generally) who "live to get off," that is, they don't really get personal value out of pursuing their educational/career interests and instead focus almost exclusively on weekends and vacations (this usually dovetails with poor alcohol/smoking habits). I'm sure this forum has its share of weekend warriors too, so to each their own 
I used to feel the same way but I've adopted more YOLOesque habits in college. I had a roommate who heavily influenced and totally changed my perspective on shit like money and saving and a bunch of hippie friends who peace & love man.
RE: last couple pages: I feel like daddy issues are to blame for a lot of girls' attractions to older men. I wonder how many of these girls with older boyfriends had a distant or inactive father figure in their past.
On the other hand, many cultures have been pretty geared towards "Man & Wife" ideology and while feminism exists, their is proably still some underlying forces that push women to stereotypical men. Meanwhile men may take years getting to that stereotypical male status that is attractive to women. Whereas the girl can transition to stereotypical wife in much less time.
Was that sexist?
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On January 14 2017 02:34 ragnasaur wrote:Show nested quote +On January 12 2017 21:38 farvacola wrote:+ Show Spoiler +I am strongly turned off by women (and people generally) who "live to get off," that is, they don't really get personal value out of pursuing their educational/career interests and instead focus almost exclusively on weekends and vacations (this usually dovetails with poor alcohol/smoking habits). I'm sure this forum has its share of weekend warriors too, so to each their own I used to feel the same way but I've adopted more YOLOesque habits in college. I had a roommate who heavily influenced and totally changed my perspective on shit like money and saving and a bunch of hippie friends who peace & love man. RE: last couple pages: I feel like daddy issues are to blame for a lot of girls' attractions to older men. I wonder how many of these girls with older boyfriends had a distant or inactive father figure in their past. On the other hand, many cultures have been pretty geared towards "Man & Wife" ideology and while feminism exists, their is proably still some underlying forces that push women to stereotypical men. Meanwhile men may take years getting to that stereotypical male status that is attractive to women. Whereas the girl can transition to stereotypical wife in much less time. Was that sexist?
I had the exact opposite experience given that I spent most of high school and practically all of my undergrad career deeply enmeshed in drug using cultures. That said, plenty of of my hippy, won't-smoke-hydro-weed-because-its-not-grown-in-dirt friends share my "you better be about more than getting off" attitude towards partners, so yeah, not sure how to parse your comment.
All I'll add is that, in my experience, "peace and love" and "yolo" don't actually go together very well at all 
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On January 14 2017 03:31 farvacola wrote:Show nested quote +On January 14 2017 02:34 ragnasaur wrote:On January 12 2017 21:38 farvacola wrote:+ Show Spoiler +I am strongly turned off by women (and people generally) who "live to get off," that is, they don't really get personal value out of pursuing their educational/career interests and instead focus almost exclusively on weekends and vacations (this usually dovetails with poor alcohol/smoking habits). I'm sure this forum has its share of weekend warriors too, so to each their own I used to feel the same way but I've adopted more YOLOesque habits in college. I had a roommate who heavily influenced and totally changed my perspective on shit like money and saving and a bunch of hippie friends who peace & love man. RE: last couple pages: I feel like daddy issues are to blame for a lot of girls' attractions to older men. I wonder how many of these girls with older boyfriends had a distant or inactive father figure in their past. On the other hand, many cultures have been pretty geared towards "Man & Wife" ideology and while feminism exists, their is proably still some underlying forces that push women to stereotypical men. Meanwhile men may take years getting to that stereotypical male status that is attractive to women. Whereas the girl can transition to stereotypical wife in much less time. Was that sexist? I had the exact opposite experience given that I spent most of high school and practically all of my undergrad career deeply enmeshed in drug using cultures. That said, plenty of of my hippy, won't-smoke-hydro-weed-because-its-not-grown-in-dirt friends share my "you better be about more than getting off" attitude towards partners, so yeah, not sure how to parse your comment. All I'll add is that, in my experience, "peace and love" and "yolo" don't actually go together very well at all
Why not? yolo means you'll enjoy every day and every opportunity you have, how one enjoys might not be that much peace and love friendly, but i wouldn't say it's impossible to be yolo and peace and love at the same time.
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On January 13 2017 15:34 dravernor wrote:Show nested quote +On January 12 2017 16:42 dravernor wrote:
I think I used to understand before, but it kind of baffles me now. My best friend always goes for older guys, also like 10+ years, and she isn't quite sure why. We're in our mid 20s.
She dated a guy our age for 6 years and it went horribly wrong, and she was looking to settle down and get married etc, so perhaps her interest in dating older guys also stems from the need for stability and being ready to settle down.
Personally, I prefer dating within my own age group of +-2 years. To follow on from this - last night she was complaining that there were no decent men left in our country and when our other friend asked why she replied (with a far off stare) 'I don't know, they've all changed. There aren't any men with manners. I like old school men, like our dads, who knew how to treat a woman right. Men these days drinkntoo much, use women and won't commit. I know it's the womens' fault as well, because we're too easy, but it makes it hard for the few of us.' And that's when it hit me. I don't know if that is the reason globally why women prefer older men, but it made sense in her case.
Just assuming United States, I've heard this before too. Women complaining individually to me or in groups that there's no marriageable guys or LTR + kids guys anymore, and previously there were. If they show they're open for disagreement, I usually ask if they'd expand upon why they think so or why they think it's the case. You might be able to guess the topics that come up ... how things have changed since "the old days" like children out of wedlock, no-fault divorce, growing numbers of career-before-kids women, and others.
The most recent example I had was pretty funny. We were all part of a larger shared-interest club, say 40+ people in the room, and I pointed out two guys she would certainly know by name, who were single, and had been stable in a regular job for some time, and weren't drunkards. I asked her if they were included in "good guys (her "decent men") available" or if they weren't, why not. Her and her friend said "X & Y? Ewwww." I asked about amending the "no good guys" to "no good guys that you're attracted to" based on interpersonal chemistry. It can't be just stable job/no addictions if otherwise, something about social poise and what turned them on. We all laughed, and I had offered this up non-judgmentally and moved on to other topics. Events like these have influenced me to think the "no good guys these days" really relies on other unstated cultural and social factors, rather than the ones you mentioned and women commonly mention.
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I don't know where to begin.
Growing up with a paranoid psychotic mother and having a generally fucked up childhood and teenage years has made me feel like I'm doomed to lonelyness. I think my non-verbal communication skills got royally fucked up during that time and has made me come across as creepy to everyone I talk to that doesn't know me.
I think a girl liked me during 9th grade, but that was also the period where I was the most depressed in my life and I royally fucked it up. Maybe I'll elaborate on that story in another post because it has some painfully funny moments.
After that my confidence was shredded and I went though highschool without any friends because all the years of isolation made me awkward in soacial situations and that awkwardness made me afraid of social situations which became a self reinforcing loop that was hard as hell to break out of.
At college I finally broke out of it. Stopped caring about what people thought of me, and got a group of awesome friends. But I'm still in recovery as I see it. I don't feel 'normal' yet.
And that makes me so anxious when it comes to girls. I hear stories about people who got treated badly in dating despite being decent normal people. I can't even maintain eye contact properly when talking to someone I find attractive, what hope do I have?
What makes me more unhappy is that when I was a kid I really looked forward to dating. I wanted the awkwardness of dating in the early teens because it seemed so adorable. And now I've missed that by at least a decade. Hell, women my age are closer to their thirties than their twenties now. It may seem a petty thing to be upset about but I don't want to get in the game just when the sexual marketplace values of the genders have started to switch around. It's too late. I don't want a partner that settles for me when it becomes harder for her to get guys.
I just hope I can develop my personality and move away enough from my past to become attractive before it's too late.
Because of my horrific childhood I've approached life with no compromises. I've been miserable for too long to live a mediocre life. I always put my back to the wall and go for awesome, or I crash and burn. And it worked well when it came to education. I wanted to get into an amazing university (Chalmers university of technology, gothenburg). And despite sucking at math I decided that I would get the degree I wanted, or I would have no degree. And after enough superhuman effort, I got into that school.
I have the same approach to my love life. I won't compromise. I will be with someone I think is amazing. Or I will be alone forever. I don't have space in my life for something in between.
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On January 14 2017 07:09 KungKras wrote:
I don't know where to begin.
Growing up with a paranoid psychotic mother and having a generally fucked up childhood and teenage years has made me feel like I'm doomed to lonelyness. I think my non-verbal communication skills got royally fucked up during that time and has made me come across as creepy to everyone I talk to that doesn't know me.
I think a girl liked me during 9th grade, but that was also the period where I was the most depressed in my life and I royally fucked it up. Maybe I'll elaborate on that story in another post because it has some painfully funny moments.
After that my confidence was shredded and I went though highschool without any friends because all the years of isolation made me awkward in soacial situations and that awkwardness made me afraid of social situations which became a self reinforcing loop that was hard as hell to break out of.
At college I finally broke out of it. Stopped caring about what people thought of me, and got a group of awesome friends. But I'm still in recovery as I see it. I don't feel 'normal' yet.
And that makes me so anxious when it comes to girls. I hear stories about people who got treated badly in dating despite being decent normal people. I can't even maintain eye contact properly when talking to someone I find attractive, what hope do I have?
What makes me more unhappy is that when I was a kid I really looked forward to dating. I wanted the awkwardness of dating in the early teens because it seemed so adorable. And now I've missed that by at least a decade. Hell, women my age are closer to their thirties than their twenties now. It may seem a petty thing to be upset about but I don't want to get in the game just when the sexual marketplace values of the genders have started to switch around. It's too late. I don't want a partner that settles for me when it becomes harder for her to get guys.
I just hope I can develop my personality and move away enough from my past to become attractive before it's too late.
Because of my horrific childhood I've approached life with no compromises. I've been miserable for too long to live a mediocre life. I always put my back to the wall and go for awesome, or I crash and burn. And it worked well when it came to education. I wanted to get into an amazing university (Chalmers university of technology, gothenburg). And despite sucking at math I decided that I would get the degree I wanted, or I would have no degree. And after enough superhuman effort, I got into that school.
I have the same approach to my love life. I won't compromise. I will be with someone I think is amazing. Or I will be alone forever. I don't have space in my life for something in between.
Wasn't sure where this was going in the end given the shift in the second to last paragraph, but this is the kind of stuff that gives me hope. Even if you're met with failure, pushing back against life and forcing things to go your way is something I can almost never do, and always regret after.
Don't stop trying, no matter what may come. There have been people in this thread who have had terrible experiences, mediocre ones and great ones, but most seem to meet with mediocre to alright. That's how things will come most of the time, and in a game of odds, while you're not guaranteed anything, after a large sample size, you're more likely to get some outliers.
And as an aside, while you are trying to get away from your past, remember how far you've come and be proud. You've gotten this far through effort alone, so from the sound of it you'll be able to get even further 
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Hello, Teamliquid.
I just discovered something pretty disturbing, and I think all the gentlemen in this thread ought to know about it.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/3gukkPi.jpg)
Source
Apparently signs like this are going up in ladies bathrooms in several restaurants, including Hooters, according to the article. Am I overreacting or is this something that can be abused?
Sincerely,
Shalashaska_123
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Honestly if your first date with a girl is at Hooters you probably should be arrested.
But jokes aside I don't think it's a "toss him in jail" thing. They're just calling the police in case there's an altercation, which could happen especially if people have been drinking. In fact, they might not even call the police by default at all and that's just a reassuring line.
Hell, I would honestly have used that service for a woman in a date I've been on, and I'm a straight man.
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Just imagine you are having a date and really feel like you have a connection and they order an angel shot with lime right in front of you haha...
And KungKras: Seems like you had a rough start in life but I disagree with a lot of the other stuff you wrote. I mean switching of the sexual market values? The fuck are you talking about? Become attractive before its too late? Girls settling because they can't get better?
I suggest you stop making excuses about why you don't date and commit to meeting women. Many of them. Im talking one or two dates a week at least. How do you find those you ask? By spamming tinder and any other dating app you can find while approaching women in your normal day to day life as well. Be ready to put in some hours if this is what you want.
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Netherlands6192 Posts
I have been chatting to one of my Swedish friends recently and apparently the dating scene is very different in Sweden to the rest of the world. He mentioned that he misses actual dates. They don;t really exist anymore. You meet people in your friends group, or you meet them on a dating app and thats that. You don't do the coffee thing anymore etc because it is just out of date.
Or, at least according to his and his friends' experiences.
But I don't know. Where I am it is still very much a thing to go out for coffee when you're interested in someone and from there gauge whether you'll be seeing them again etc.
As I mentioned earlier, I am from a very small town where pretty much everyone knows everyone else, or at least knows someone who knows everyone else. It is extreeeeeeemely rare to find someone on Facebook here that has less than 3 mutual friends. So small town dating is an issue here, which is possibly another reason my friend has resorted to dating older men with the more traditional values.
On January 14 2017 06:16 Danglars wrote:Show nested quote +On January 13 2017 15:34 dravernor wrote:On January 12 2017 16:42 dravernor wrote:
I think I used to understand before, but it kind of baffles me now. My best friend always goes for older guys, also like 10+ years, and she isn't quite sure why. We're in our mid 20s.
She dated a guy our age for 6 years and it went horribly wrong, and she was looking to settle down and get married etc, so perhaps her interest in dating older guys also stems from the need for stability and being ready to settle down.
Personally, I prefer dating within my own age group of +-2 years. To follow on from this - last night she was complaining that there were no decent men left in our country and when our other friend asked why she replied (with a far off stare) 'I don't know, they've all changed. There aren't any men with manners. I like old school men, like our dads, who knew how to treat a woman right. Men these days drinkntoo much, use women and won't commit. I know it's the womens' fault as well, because we're too easy, but it makes it hard for the few of us.' And that's when it hit me. I don't know if that is the reason globally why women prefer older men, but it made sense in her case. Just assuming United States, I've heard this before too. Women complaining individually to me or in groups that there's no marriageable guys or LTR + kids guys anymore, and previously there were. If they show they're open for disagreement, I usually ask if they'd expand upon why they think so or why they think it's the case. You might be able to guess the topics that come up ... how things have changed since "the old days" like children out of wedlock, no-fault divorce, growing numbers of career-before-kids women, and others. The most recent example I had was pretty funny. We were all part of a larger shared-interest club, say 40+ people in the room, and I pointed out two guys she would certainly know by name, who were single, and had been stable in a regular job for some time, and weren't drunkards. I asked her if they were included in "good guys (her "decent men") available" or if they weren't, why not. Her and her friend said "X & Y? Ewwww." I asked about amending the "no good guys" to "no good guys that you're attracted to" based on interpersonal chemistry. It can't be just stable job/no addictions if otherwise, something about social poise and what turned them on. We all laughed, and I had offered this up non-judgmentally and moved on to other topics. Events like these have influenced me to think the "no good guys these days" really relies on other unstated cultural and social factors, rather than the ones you mentioned and women commonly mention.
In my experience, yes, girls don't consider 'nice guys' dateable options if they're not attractive straight off the bat. If they're not attracted to them (and it is very possible to become attracted to someone once you know them better regardless of their physical traits) then there is a fairly high chance that they're not going to get out of the friend zone.
For example there is one guy who has previously chased me. He is a lovely guy, upstanding, gentle, kind, willing to bend over backwards for you, witty, similar interests etc. All traits I would look for in a man. But I'm not attracted to him, and never have been. It isn't even that he is physically repulsive, I am just not attracted to him in a sexual way.
I once kissed him, and that was enough for me to know I was uncomfortable and unwilling to take it further. I told him so, and he was upset for a few weeks, but our friendship resumed as normal after that and we can hang out platonically without any issues ever since.
A guy becomes attractive to you once you see they have a backbone and interests outside of you. Hobbies, a job, friends etc. Things that show you they are interested in the world around them, eager to learn, able to enjoy life without being dependant on someone etc. I've found that the 'nice guys' often become too involved in the small things surrounding you in their efforts to impress you (noticing your hair cut, complimenting your shoes, offering to do everything for you etc), and it makes your relationship with them feel more like a gal pal than a suitor. And thus it becomes easier to friend zone them when they feel more like a gal pal than a dating option.
I don't know how far this applies outside of me, but this is a pattern I have noticed amongst all the guys I have friend zoned over the years.
People say the trick to stopping a girl from friend zoning you is to show interest very quickly and aggressively so that she knows you're not there to be friends. Personally, I disagree. There is nothing I hate more than jumping too quickly into a relationship with someone I don't really know and then discovering I really don't like them and having to break up with them. Most of my relationships have been built from an initial attraction (and I would say very few of my ex boyfriends are conventionally physically attractive) because of the person they are, and getting to know them and befriend them, and then having feelings build up over time.
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It's freaking humiliating but I'd like to write something here, since no one who knows me would read this page.
I'm an extremely introverted person and having a crush. What should I do?
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On January 14 2017 21:05 Thouhastmail wrote:
It's freaking humiliating but I'd like to write something here, since no one who knows me would read this page.
I'm an extremely introverted person and having a crush. What should I do?
Does she know you exist?
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On January 14 2017 21:11 Acrofales wrote:Show nested quote +On January 14 2017 21:05 Thouhastmail wrote:
It's freaking humiliating but I'd like to write something here, since no one who knows me would read this page.
I'm an extremely introverted person and having a crush. What should I do?
Does she know you exist?
Welp, I`m working for prosecutor's office as an investigator and she's my senior - yes, she knows my existence.
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Regarding relationships at work I do have positive experience in my circle of friends but I myself always avoided that.
On a side note, props for having an awesome job
First thing I'd generally do is to spend time with the person I'm interested in and see if s/he enjoys the with me and build from that. A crush can easily dissipate into indifference if what I had imagined the person to turns out to be exactly that, my imagination.
Bottom line is, spending time, getting to know and moving forward together.
How to do that I can't tell you :-/
e: Not knowing how much time you both spend at work together, how much free time is actually available and how your standing with her is now (do you talk casually? have you met already?...), I can't really feel myself into your situation and so have only written my general approach how I would at the moment approach having a crush on someone.
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On January 14 2017 07:09 KungKras wrote:
I don't know where to begin.
Not everyones social life has been a breeze, I had not kissed a girl or have anyone even remotely interested in me before I was 22. It's "hard" to change but at the same time extremely easy if you just make an effort to do it. You might actually suffer of bad luck and start to like dating women
Being in Sweden is especially good since there are an abundance of quality women to date. Don't wait for someone to fall into your arms though, take action and ask girls out yourself. Get on tinder, ask out cute girls at campus.
On January 14 2017 18:52 dravernor wrote:
I have been chatting to one of my Swedish friends recently and apparently the dating scene is very different in Sweden to the rest of the world. He mentioned that he misses actual dates. They don;t really exist anymore. You meet people in your friends group, or you meet them on a dating app and thats that. You don't do the coffee thing anymore etc because it is just out of date.
Or, at least according to his and his friends' experiences.
Firstly I think it's a difference between dating a stranger and dating someone you already know. And what do you mean by "that's that."? Just because you matched with someone on tinder and met them doesn't mean you're a couple.
It sounds to me that the people you have talked are not much about serious dating, they sound more into just sleeping around and some of them just happen to end up together.
I'm not much for coffee dates myself, I like to do something with some form of activity. Just counted my first dates...
Walks: 15
Movie/sex: 4
Ice cream: 1
Climbing: 1
Disc golf: 1
However coffee dates are definitely not out of date in the age group 20-25. I don't think they are as popular among Swedes since it requires you to stare into their eyes and Swedish people are not known for being the most social people.
On January 14 2017 15:00 Shalashaska_123 wrote:I just discovered something pretty disturbing, and I think all the gentlemen in this thread ought to know about it.
Apparently signs like this are going up in ladies bathrooms in several restaurants, including Hooters, according to the article. Am I overreacting or is this something that can be abused?
I saw that the other day and thought it sound reasonable however pretty odd thing to do, he will know something is up if you start ordering shots randomly after coming out of the bathroom.
I don't think it can be abused, cops won't arrest you just because she doesn't dare to say that she wants to go home.
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On January 14 2017 21:05 Thouhastmail wrote:
It's freaking humiliating but I'd like to write something here, since no one who knows me would read this page.
I'm an extremely introverted person and having a crush. What should I do?
Well you should probably check up on how your company sees on dating collegues first. If it isn't frowned upon just ask her out for a date. Coffee, lunch, a walk?
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Don't date colleagues
Don't date colleagues
Don't date colleagues
Seriously
Don't date colleagues
You're having a crush mate if she doesn't show you clear signs of interest then do not be that fool that asks her out on a date, ESPECIALLY IF SHE IS YOUR F**KING SUPERIOR
Seriously don't listen to bumbling romantic bullshit of people who have no career (or one they give a damn about) that refer to the 1 in a 100 chance it actually works rather then making this a crash and burn cringe worthy fail.
Crushes in general are the fucking work of the devil because they have the tendency to be aimed at people that are unreachable for whatever reason.
Don't torture yourself with this or do dumb shit. Seriously move on and get over it if she doesn't make a move first. Unless you think this is the love of your live but I somehow doubt it.
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Agree with B.I.G. Recipe for disaster. Dating in the workplace is kinda problematic, but crushing on your direct superior? Jerk off a few times and find somebody else.
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It's been almost 100 days since I've suffered with this - darn, I shouldn't have dropped my Episcopalian priest course..
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On January 14 2017 15:00 Dark_Chill wrote:Show nested quote +On January 14 2017 07:09 KungKras wrote:
I don't know where to begin.
Growing up with a paranoid psychotic mother and having a generally fucked up childhood and teenage years has made me feel like I'm doomed to lonelyness. I think my non-verbal communication skills got royally fucked up during that time and has made me come across as creepy to everyone I talk to that doesn't know me.
I think a girl liked me during 9th grade, but that was also the period where I was the most depressed in my life and I royally fucked it up. Maybe I'll elaborate on that story in another post because it has some painfully funny moments.
After that my confidence was shredded and I went though highschool without any friends because all the years of isolation made me awkward in soacial situations and that awkwardness made me afraid of social situations which became a self reinforcing loop that was hard as hell to break out of.
At college I finally broke out of it. Stopped caring about what people thought of me, and got a group of awesome friends. But I'm still in recovery as I see it. I don't feel 'normal' yet.
And that makes me so anxious when it comes to girls. I hear stories about people who got treated badly in dating despite being decent normal people. I can't even maintain eye contact properly when talking to someone I find attractive, what hope do I have?
What makes me more unhappy is that when I was a kid I really looked forward to dating. I wanted the awkwardness of dating in the early teens because it seemed so adorable. And now I've missed that by at least a decade. Hell, women my age are closer to their thirties than their twenties now. It may seem a petty thing to be upset about but I don't want to get in the game just when the sexual marketplace values of the genders have started to switch around. It's too late. I don't want a partner that settles for me when it becomes harder for her to get guys.
I just hope I can develop my personality and move away enough from my past to become attractive before it's too late.
Because of my horrific childhood I've approached life with no compromises. I've been miserable for too long to live a mediocre life. I always put my back to the wall and go for awesome, or I crash and burn. And it worked well when it came to education. I wanted to get into an amazing university (Chalmers university of technology, gothenburg). And despite sucking at math I decided that I would get the degree I wanted, or I would have no degree. And after enough superhuman effort, I got into that school.
I have the same approach to my love life. I won't compromise. I will be with someone I think is amazing. Or I will be alone forever. I don't have space in my life for something in between. Wasn't sure where this was going in the end given the shift in the second to last paragraph, but this is the kind of stuff that gives me hope. Even if you're met with failure, pushing back against life and forcing things to go your way is something I can almost never do, and always regret after. Don't stop trying, no matter what may come. There have been people in this thread who have had terrible experiences, mediocre ones and great ones, but most seem to meet with mediocre to alright. That's how things will come most of the time, and in a game of odds, while you're not guaranteed anything, after a large sample size, you're more likely to get some outliers. And as an aside, while you are trying to get away from your past, remember how far you've come and be proud. You've gotten this far through effort alone, so from the sound of it you'll be able to get even further
Thanks for the kind words
I have fallen a lot of times in life, but I think the only thing that matters is that you get back up after you fall. I intend to look back at my life and be able to say "I tried and I suceeded/failed with dignity"
I despise the expression "When life gives you lemons make lemonade" So I came up with my own version that summarizes my philosophy.
"When life gives you lemons you punch life in the face and go look for oranges."
On January 14 2017 17:57 B.I.G. wrote:
And KungKras: Seems like you had a rough start in life but I disagree with a lot of the other stuff you wrote. I mean switching of the sexual market values? The fuck are you talking about? Become attractive before its too late? Girls settling because they can't get better?
I suggest you stop making excuses about why you don't date and commit to meeting women. Many of them. Im talking one or two dates a week at least. How do you find those you ask? By spamming tinder and any other dating app you can find while approaching women in your normal day to day life as well. Be ready to put in some hours if this is what you want.
For the first point. As men we're biologically wired to get turned on by youth. I know I am. So therefore girls in the ages 18 - 28 are the most desired when we look for partners. Which means that they have the most bargaining power in the "partner markeplace". They can be more picky than we can. But this switches around when they get older and us guys' attractiveness doesn't detereorate as quickly when we age.
So what I'm basically saing is that if I can only get girls after this switch, it won't feel like I'm living life on my terms, and it would have to be an insanely special person in order for me to look past that.
And don't worry, I'm not making excuses. I want to date. A lot. I do intend to try. Not just in looking for a girlfriends but I realize I would also really need to have a lot more female friends. Just do get more used to talking to girls, to get past all my weird issues when talking to girls.
I've been eyeing Tinder recently and I will get it as soon as I manage to take a good picture of myself. Allright maybe that's an excuse, but I take all art (and photography is art) seriously since it's my big talent in life, lol.
On January 14 2017 21:38 bloodwhore~ wrote:Not everyones social life has been a breeze, I had not kissed a girl or have anyone even remotely interested in me before I was 22. It's "hard" to change but at the same time extremely easy if you just make an effort to do it. You might actually suffer of bad luck and start to like dating women
Thanks It feels good to hear.
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EPT
