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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
October 30 2013 20:25 GMT
#6021
On October 31 2013 05:12 SixStrings wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 29 2013 11:17 Impervious wrote:
On October 28 2013 06:04 SixStrings wrote:
Do I really have to explain this to you?

Sex is like pizza, even bad pizza is still pretty good and certainly better than no pizza at all.

You say this now. Wait until you have some really bad pizza.


Please do elaborate.


I think he's just saying there exists pizza that is bad enough that you would have rathered not to have any pizza at all.
chadissilent
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Canada1187 Posts
October 30 2013 20:25 GMT
#6022
On October 31 2013 05:12 SixStrings wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 29 2013 11:17 Impervious wrote:
On October 28 2013 06:04 SixStrings wrote:
Do I really have to explain this to you?

Sex is like pizza, even bad pizza is still pretty good and certainly better than no pizza at all.

You say this now. Wait until you have some really bad pizza.


Please do elaborate.

You ever fuck a girl with herpes? Bad pizza can be worse than no pizza.
decafchicken
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
United States20069 Posts
October 30 2013 21:06 GMT
#6023
On October 31 2013 05:12 SixStrings wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 29 2013 11:17 Impervious wrote:
On October 28 2013 06:04 SixStrings wrote:
Do I really have to explain this to you?

Sex is like pizza, even bad pizza is still pretty good and certainly better than no pizza at all.

You say this now. Wait until you have some really bad pizza.


Please do elaborate.


It's not the bad pizza you gotta watch out for, it's the crazy pizza.
how reasonable is it to eat off wood instead of your tummy?
Aeroplaneoverthesea
Profile Joined April 2012
United Kingdom1977 Posts
October 30 2013 21:51 GMT
#6024
On October 31 2013 04:45 white_horse wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 31 2013 04:30 ElMeanYo wrote:
On October 31 2013 04:22 white_horse wrote:
How do you gently reject a girl that you are not interested in? There's this girl whose been texting me almost everyday for the past several days and I am not interested in her romantically. I don't want to text her back with conversation killers (i.e one word texts like "ok") because I don't want to be rude or hurt her feelings so I've been texting her cheerfully. So what am I supposed to do? Wait until she asks me out for dinner/lunch, say no, and hope she gets the message?


Honesty is the best policy. Just tell her how you feel about her in plain words, no games.

She may have a bad reaction... that is to be expected. Later when she is thinking more clearly she will appreciate your honesty. I so wish the women I dated in the past had just honestly told me what they felt about me instead of leading me on or ignoring me. It comes with maturity and I dated some immature girls.

BTW, show her some respect and tell it to her face. Even calling is better than texts. So much is lost with body language and tone of voice in todays tech world.


But when she texts she's just asking me random questions about the day, thanksgiving break plans, etc. Isn't suddenly texting (or saying) "hey I don't really like you romantically so I don't want you to misunderstand our relationship" just plain mean? And there actually isn't anything go on between us, I've just met her several times before and she's been texting me since then so we are nothing more than just acquaintance/friends at this point anyway.


Why did you meet her several times? IMO it's obvious within about 10 minutes or meeting someone whether you're into them or not.
gedatsu
Profile Joined December 2011
1286 Posts
October 30 2013 22:19 GMT
#6025
On October 31 2013 06:06 decafchicken wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 31 2013 05:12 SixStrings wrote:
On October 29 2013 11:17 Impervious wrote:
On October 28 2013 06:04 SixStrings wrote:
Do I really have to explain this to you?

Sex is like pizza, even bad pizza is still pretty good and certainly better than no pizza at all.

You say this now. Wait until you have some really bad pizza.


Please do elaborate.


It's not the bad pizza you gotta watch out for, it's the crazy pizza.

Never stick your dick in crazy pizza.
Skynx
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
Turkey7150 Posts
October 31 2013 00:37 GMT
#6026
On October 31 2013 05:12 SixStrings wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 29 2013 11:17 Impervious wrote:
On October 28 2013 06:04 SixStrings wrote:
Do I really have to explain this to you?

Sex is like pizza, even bad pizza is still pretty good and certainly better than no pizza at all.

You say this now. Wait until you have some really bad pizza.


Please do elaborate.


Even tho it tastes good, you don't want your whole pizza covered in peperoni. Just get enough, not much more.
"When seagulls follow the troller, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea. Thank you very much" - King Cantona | STX 4 eva
kaykaykay
Profile Joined July 2012
Singapore637 Posts
October 31 2013 01:33 GMT
#6027
how do you go about keeping sexual tension in a group setting?
should it even be done at all?
Starve the ego, feed the soul.
Zooper31
Profile Joined May 2009
United States5711 Posts
October 31 2013 01:51 GMT
#6028
On October 31 2013 10:33 kaykaykay wrote:
how do you go about keeping sexual tension in a group setting?
should it even be done at all?


Family reunion? No. Church group? Maybe. Skinny Dipping at the lake? Definitely.
Asato ma sad gamaya, tamaso ma jyotir gamaya, mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
white_horse
Profile Joined July 2010
1019 Posts
October 31 2013 02:26 GMT
#6029
On October 31 2013 06:51 Aeroplaneoverthesea wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 31 2013 04:45 white_horse wrote:
On October 31 2013 04:30 ElMeanYo wrote:
On October 31 2013 04:22 white_horse wrote:
How do you gently reject a girl that you are not interested in? There's this girl whose been texting me almost everyday for the past several days and I am not interested in her romantically. I don't want to text her back with conversation killers (i.e one word texts like "ok") because I don't want to be rude or hurt her feelings so I've been texting her cheerfully. So what am I supposed to do? Wait until she asks me out for dinner/lunch, say no, and hope she gets the message?


Honesty is the best policy. Just tell her how you feel about her in plain words, no games.

She may have a bad reaction... that is to be expected. Later when she is thinking more clearly she will appreciate your honesty. I so wish the women I dated in the past had just honestly told me what they felt about me instead of leading me on or ignoring me. It comes with maturity and I dated some immature girls.

BTW, show her some respect and tell it to her face. Even calling is better than texts. So much is lost with body language and tone of voice in todays tech world.


But when she texts she's just asking me random questions about the day, thanksgiving break plans, etc. Isn't suddenly texting (or saying) "hey I don't really like you romantically so I don't want you to misunderstand our relationship" just plain mean? And there actually isn't anything go on between us, I've just met her several times before and she's been texting me since then so we are nothing more than just acquaintance/friends at this point anyway.


Why did you meet her several times? IMO it's obvious within about 10 minutes or meeting someone whether you're into them or not.


Her friend brought her to a party I was having at my apartment and the other couple times I met her was by coincidence.
Translator
WonnaPlay
Profile Joined September 2010
Netherlands912 Posts
October 31 2013 15:55 GMT
#6030
Hmm, I don't think as long as you're not overly flirting with her its not that bad to just text her back in a friendly manner.
As long as she doesn't make a move, you do not need to take any action since it is just friendly conversation, with a bit of flirting ofcourse. No foul done here
Aeroplaneoverthesea
Profile Joined April 2012
United Kingdom1977 Posts
October 31 2013 18:58 GMT
#6031
On October 31 2013 11:26 white_horse wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 31 2013 06:51 Aeroplaneoverthesea wrote:
On October 31 2013 04:45 white_horse wrote:
On October 31 2013 04:30 ElMeanYo wrote:
On October 31 2013 04:22 white_horse wrote:
How do you gently reject a girl that you are not interested in? There's this girl whose been texting me almost everyday for the past several days and I am not interested in her romantically. I don't want to text her back with conversation killers (i.e one word texts like "ok") because I don't want to be rude or hurt her feelings so I've been texting her cheerfully. So what am I supposed to do? Wait until she asks me out for dinner/lunch, say no, and hope she gets the message?


Honesty is the best policy. Just tell her how you feel about her in plain words, no games.

She may have a bad reaction... that is to be expected. Later when she is thinking more clearly she will appreciate your honesty. I so wish the women I dated in the past had just honestly told me what they felt about me instead of leading me on or ignoring me. It comes with maturity and I dated some immature girls.

BTW, show her some respect and tell it to her face. Even calling is better than texts. So much is lost with body language and tone of voice in todays tech world.


But when she texts she's just asking me random questions about the day, thanksgiving break plans, etc. Isn't suddenly texting (or saying) "hey I don't really like you romantically so I don't want you to misunderstand our relationship" just plain mean? And there actually isn't anything go on between us, I've just met her several times before and she's been texting me since then so we are nothing more than just acquaintance/friends at this point anyway.


Why did you meet her several times? IMO it's obvious within about 10 minutes or meeting someone whether you're into them or not.


Her friend brought her to a party I was having at my apartment and the other couple times I met her was by coincidence.


Are we talking no sexual attraction at all or is she just not what you look for in a long term girlfriend because imo if the girls chasing you you may as well hit that unless she's really not attractive at all.
white_horse
Profile Joined July 2010
1019 Posts
October 31 2013 19:20 GMT
#6032
Yeah zero interest in anything more than just friends.

On November 01 2013 00:55 WonnaPlay wrote:
Hmm, I don't think as long as you're not overly flirting with her its not that bad to just text her back in a friendly manner.
As long as she doesn't make a move, you do not need to take any action since it is just friendly conversation, with a bit of flirting ofcourse. No foul done here


I realized that this is what I should do, thanks
Translator
MightyBill
Profile Joined October 2013
93 Posts
November 01 2013 10:06 GMT
#6033
This summer I had a crash-and-burn relationship with someone. I thought we had some romantic dates (dancing, holding hands, small kisses on the cheeks) but she wasnt interested in more. Obviously I didnt like that, since I did tell her I like her a lot and that I was starting to have feelings for her. After that she held me on a leash, so I got angry with her and told her that I dont like to be made into a utility-friend. Not a lot of contact for a few months,

But out of the blue, after having dated 3 different girls since then, she suddenly starts contacting me a LOT (asking to eat breakfast together, getting drinks, etc) and when she found out I dumped my last date, she responded very fake-compassionate like "awwww thats soooo sad! so you're single again?".

Normally I dont really overthink this and I just act, but I havent got a clue with this one. She's almost exactly the same as I am in terms of interests and impulsiveness, which makes me feel that I have a lot to lose if I mess it up now...
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14080 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-01 10:16:34
November 01 2013 10:16 GMT
#6034
Not a lot of contact for a few months.

she suddenly starts contacting me a LOT


Those two lines alone should tell you what's going on.
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
corumjhaelen
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
France6884 Posts
November 01 2013 10:21 GMT
#6035
After 2 and a half year without anything, thanks to a dating site I met a girl with whom I tried to not be my usual beta friendzonable self. Thank to all the expert in the thread (PrinceXizor, Igne, VayneAuthority and whomever I may forget) I managed to get a kiss. I might even get laid one of these days, who knows !
Those blue eyes look a bit dangerous though...
‎numquam se plus agere quam nihil cum ageret, numquam minus solum esse quam cum solus esset
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
November 01 2013 20:22 GMT
#6036
Finally stopped being a bitch and asked a girl I've been crushing on for 4 months to hang out, her response was that she would love to but can't today for logistic reasons and that "You're a nice guy and I think we'd be good friends ". Was disappointing to hear but I'm not really a believer of the 'friend zone' so I plan on hanging out with her in the future and just being flirty/touchy. We've never been together anywhere except for where I go for Muay Thai, and I would not ever be overtly flirty in that environment so being elsewhere changes the relationship. Honestly though I don't know her well enough to say if I want to date her to begin with which is why I was less direct in asking her out.
sc4k
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United Kingdom5454 Posts
November 01 2013 20:38 GMT
#6037
On November 02 2013 05:22 Najda wrote:
Finally stopped being a bitch and asked a girl I've been crushing on for 4 months to hang out, her response was that she would love to but can't today for logistic reasons and that "You're a nice guy and I think we'd be good friends ". Was disappointing to hear but I'm not really a believer of the 'friend zone' so I plan on hanging out with her in the future and just being flirty/touchy. We've never been together anywhere except for where I go for Muay Thai, and I would not ever be overtly flirty in that environment so being elsewhere changes the relationship. Honestly though I don't know her well enough to say if I want to date her to begin with which is why I was less direct in asking her out.


Just try not to prevaricate too long dude. Once you have hung out a bit and know that you want to date her, you should ask her to go out with you sooner rather than later. The friend zone may not be this all-conquering, immutable law of nature, but it does happen to some extent to people who are too scared to actually ask a girl out once they know they want to. In my estimation, the only time you should hold off is when there are certain qualities you possess that she isn't fully aware of, and you want her to see them before you ask her out because you think it might significantly affect your chance of success.
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
November 01 2013 22:16 GMT
#6038
Yea it just took me so long because I wanted to wait to have her isolated before I asked her out but I just said fuck it and asked her on facebook since an opportunity was just never going to arise in person. There are a few things I don't know about her/she doesn't know about me that I wanted to clarify before any sort of date happened. I was going to learn those things of her and then ask her out/decide not interested at the end of our day.
Maski
Profile Joined March 2012
Germany335 Posts
November 03 2013 05:15 GMT
#6039
Okay guys, update on my situation (opening post on page 299):

Tonight at a party, I finally decided to tell her how I feel about her. I know I missed a perfect opportunity last Sunday and reading your feedback made me feel really bad about myself. But it was true. I was a coward and I have to change. So tonight, despite it not being the perfect situation, I finally took the courage to tell her. I wanted to have closure, even though I knew that it's not going to happen. I just couldn't think of anything else the entire week and I had to get this out of my head. She made it pretty easy for me though. I went out on the porch and told my close friend to come get her (obviously did not want to tell her in the kitchen with a thousand people around us). My friend came back and told me that she said she knew and she did not want to talk to me because she did not want to make it awkward. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? It took me a lot of courage to finally express my feelings, and all I get is a "I know but I don't want to make it awkward?". Well, what do you think is going to happen now? I thought I would be sad and desperate, but right now I am just angry and disappointed. I find that to be totally disrespectful towards me. At least dump me in person. I deserve that and not that stupid other way. I hoped that we could be friends after she dumped me, but right now, I really do not want to talk to her. I am just mad and angry.
Zooper31
Profile Joined May 2009
United States5711 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-03 05:46:38
November 03 2013 05:20 GMT
#6040
On November 03 2013 14:15 Maski wrote:
Okay guys, update on my situation (opening post on page 299):

Tonight at a party, I finally decided to tell her how I feel about her. I know I missed a perfect opportunity last Sunday and reading your feedback made me feel really bad about myself. But it was true. I was a coward and I have to change. So tonight, despite it not being the perfect situation, I finally took the courage to tell her. I wanted to have closure, even though I knew that it's not going to happen. I just couldn't think of anything else the entire week and I had to get this out of my head. She made it pretty easy for me though. I went out on the porch and told my close friend to come get her (obviously did not want to tell her in the kitchen with a thousand people around us). My friend came back and told me that she said she knew and she did not want to talk to me because she did not want to make it awkward. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? It took me a lot of courage to finally express my feelings, and all I get is a "I know but I don't want to make it awkward?". Well, what do you think is going to happen now? I thought I would be sad and desperate, but right now I am just angry and disappointed. I find that to be totally disrespectful towards me. At least dump me in person. I deserve that and not that stupid other way. I hoped that we could be friends after she dumped me, but right now, I really do not want to talk to her. I am just mad and angry.


You didn't have the guts do even ask her to come out to the porch yourself. Why expect her to have the guts to tell you in person?

I'm sorry bro for how you feel. I'm super shy myself and I kick myself all the time for messing up missed opportunities. Best you can do it make this a learning experience and make sure you don't regret not acting in the future.

I myself finally asked girl at work out to go out to eat at Olive Garden (classy shit yo). We've done things together before outside work and they went fine imo, she even took pictures of us, but nothing close to a date imo. She complained to me at work about guys being douches and not following up on dates. So that was a perfect moment for me and told her she shoud let me take her out and show them how it's done. She said she'd txt me that night. I ask whats up several hours later and she says she doesn't know yet and I reply I'll just pick her up at 7 jokingly, no response.

Taking the lack of answer as a no, but I'm going to ask her tom at work since we work at the same time and get a definitive answer (I just want an answer and closure)
Asato ma sad gamaya, tamaso ma jyotir gamaya, mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
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