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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On October 22 2013 01:45 docvoc wrote:Show nested quote +On October 22 2013 01:22 babylon wrote:On October 21 2013 23:23 Eisregen wrote:
Having sex if you feel like it with someone you might be attracted to does not hint on his/her intelligence.
Many women dont take the pill cause it freaks their bodies out so they use condoms. Even on birth control, use a freakin condom...
Some opinions here are really really really far from reality... Okay, this is true, but it's also one of those things that doesn't make sense in the long run to me. I understand that some birth control pills mess up hormones pretty badly, but it's a bit of trial and error, right? Logically, you would want to keep at it until you find the right one, because the consequences of SURPRISE PREGNANCY >>> not having sex for a while until you figure out which pill is the best for you. I agree with the general gist of your post though: a woman wanting to have casual sex does not make her more or less intelligent, just like a guy wanting to have casual sex does not make him more or less intelligent. Not wanting to practice safe sex does speak a little bit on priorities though, which may reflect on intelligence. About the pill part: That's not exactly true. A lot of girls get so hormonally fucked by the pill that they are scared to try other ones. That and adjusting to a new pill is not only painful from a somatic perspective, but the mood swings and everything else make it hard to live life. The pill is also shown to be unhealthy IIRC, so not all girls would want to be on the pill. It's not all good and no bad, in fact there are a lot of negatives that come with the pill. There is also the plan B pill, but after experiencing what having to buy/give that someone is like, I would never want to re-experience that. It was terrible.
The alternative is far worse 
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On October 22 2013 00:10 Conti wrote:Show nested quote +On October 21 2013 05:43 dAPhREAk wrote:On October 21 2013 05:40 SixStrings wrote:
Do you just roll the dice and hope she really does take the pill?
That's the biggest turn-off for me, if I don't know her, I have to assume she is either dishonest or lax with her birth control...
I don't understand how anyone can climax wearing a a condom its interesting you're more worried about pregnancy than an STI. my biggest fear of having casual sex is getting herpes, AIDS or something else that will make my dick fall off. if i don't know the girl, i assume her pussy is similar to a thai's prostitutes; the fact that she is willing to have casual sex just reinforces my fears. What about guys willing to have casual sex?
in that case i am more worried about pregnancy....
i assume you are attempting to create a misogynistic statement out of my final phrase to which my response is that i would not differ between casual males and females. the more partners you have, the more likely you have a STI and I assume casual sexers (?) have more partners
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On October 22 2013 01:45 docvoc wrote:Show nested quote +On October 22 2013 01:22 babylon wrote:On October 21 2013 23:23 Eisregen wrote:
Having sex if you feel like it with someone you might be attracted to does not hint on his/her intelligence.
Many women dont take the pill cause it freaks their bodies out so they use condoms. Even on birth control, use a freakin condom...
Some opinions here are really really really far from reality... Okay, this is true, but it's also one of those things that doesn't make sense in the long run to me. I understand that some birth control pills mess up hormones pretty badly, but it's a bit of trial and error, right? Logically, you would want to keep at it until you find the right one, because the consequences of SURPRISE PREGNANCY >>> not having sex for a while until you figure out which pill is the best for you. I agree with the general gist of your post though: a woman wanting to have casual sex does not make her more or less intelligent, just like a guy wanting to have casual sex does not make him more or less intelligent. Not wanting to practice safe sex does speak a little bit on priorities though, which may reflect on intelligence. About the pill part: That's not exactly true. A lot of girls get so hormonally fucked by the pill that they are scared to try other ones. That and adjusting to a new pill is not only painful from a somatic perspective, but the mood swings and everything else make it hard to live life. The pill is also shown to be unhealthy IIRC, so not all girls would want to be on the pill. It's not all good and no bad, in fact there are a lot of negatives that come with the pill. There is also the plan B pill, but after experiencing what having to buy/give that someone is like, I would never want to re-experience that. It was terrible.
@babylon
Being on the pill sucks for a lot of people. If the possibility of having a baby using condoms is really that much worse than using the pill why aren't you getting testosterone therapy as a form of male birth control?
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On October 22 2013 02:56 farvacola wrote:Show nested quote +On October 22 2013 01:45 docvoc wrote:On October 22 2013 01:22 babylon wrote:On October 21 2013 23:23 Eisregen wrote:
Having sex if you feel like it with someone you might be attracted to does not hint on his/her intelligence.
Many women dont take the pill cause it freaks their bodies out so they use condoms. Even on birth control, use a freakin condom...
Some opinions here are really really really far from reality... Okay, this is true, but it's also one of those things that doesn't make sense in the long run to me. I understand that some birth control pills mess up hormones pretty badly, but it's a bit of trial and error, right? Logically, you would want to keep at it until you find the right one, because the consequences of SURPRISE PREGNANCY >>> not having sex for a while until you figure out which pill is the best for you. I agree with the general gist of your post though: a woman wanting to have casual sex does not make her more or less intelligent, just like a guy wanting to have casual sex does not make him more or less intelligent. Not wanting to practice safe sex does speak a little bit on priorities though, which may reflect on intelligence. About the pill part: That's not exactly true. A lot of girls get so hormonally fucked by the pill that they are scared to try other ones. That and adjusting to a new pill is not only painful from a somatic perspective, but the mood swings and everything else make it hard to live life. The pill is also shown to be unhealthy IIRC, so not all girls would want to be on the pill. It's not all good and no bad, in fact there are a lot of negatives that come with the pill. There is also the plan B pill, but after experiencing what having to buy/give that someone is like, I would never want to re-experience that. It was terrible. The alternative is far worse
Exactly my thoughts. Yeah, uncontrollable mood swings suck, and yeah, it can be scary, but pregnancy is terrifying for everyone involved, even with the option of abortion open to you.
I have a friend who could only function on this one type of birth control pill, so when she ran out, she just held off on sex until she got a hold of it again. That is responsible. And if a woman is against birth control pills for whatever reason and still wants to practice safe casual sex, get an IUD. That is also responsible.
I shouldn't really have been talking in terms of intelligence when I made this statement: "Not wanting to practice safe sex does speak a little bit on priorities though, which may reflect on intelligence." It occurs to me that I mean "rationality," not "intelligence," since there are very intelligent people who are often very irrational. (Hello to one of the most annoying conditions of the human race: irrationality!)
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On October 22 2013 03:30 babylon wrote:Show nested quote +On October 22 2013 02:56 farvacola wrote:On October 22 2013 01:45 docvoc wrote:On October 22 2013 01:22 babylon wrote:On October 21 2013 23:23 Eisregen wrote:
Having sex if you feel like it with someone you might be attracted to does not hint on his/her intelligence.
Many women dont take the pill cause it freaks their bodies out so they use condoms. Even on birth control, use a freakin condom...
Some opinions here are really really really far from reality... Okay, this is true, but it's also one of those things that doesn't make sense in the long run to me. I understand that some birth control pills mess up hormones pretty badly, but it's a bit of trial and error, right? Logically, you would want to keep at it until you find the right one, because the consequences of SURPRISE PREGNANCY >>> not having sex for a while until you figure out which pill is the best for you. I agree with the general gist of your post though: a woman wanting to have casual sex does not make her more or less intelligent, just like a guy wanting to have casual sex does not make him more or less intelligent. Not wanting to practice safe sex does speak a little bit on priorities though, which may reflect on intelligence. About the pill part: That's not exactly true. A lot of girls get so hormonally fucked by the pill that they are scared to try other ones. That and adjusting to a new pill is not only painful from a somatic perspective, but the mood swings and everything else make it hard to live life. The pill is also shown to be unhealthy IIRC, so not all girls would want to be on the pill. It's not all good and no bad, in fact there are a lot of negatives that come with the pill. There is also the plan B pill, but after experiencing what having to buy/give that someone is like, I would never want to re-experience that. It was terrible. The alternative is far worse Exactly my thoughts. Yeah, uncontrollable mood swings suck, and yeah, it can be scary, but pregnancy is terrifying for everyone involved, even with the option of abortion open to you. I have a friend who could only function on this one type of birth control pill, so when she ran out, she just held off on sex until she got a hold of it again. That is responsible. And if a woman is against birth control pills for whatever reason and still wants to practice safe casual sex, get an IUD. That is also responsible. I shouldn't really have been talking in terms of intelligence when I made this statement: "Not wanting to practice safe sex does speak a little bit on priorities though, which may reflect on intelligence." It occurs to me that I mean "rationality," not "intelligence," since there are very intelligent people who are often very irrational. (Hello to one of the most annoying conditions of the human race: irrationality!)
Notice how you reject a perfectly viable male form of birth control (the condom) and focus on female forms only. Many women react badly to an IUD as well. IUDs can make menstrual cramps and bleeding much much worse.
edit: the female forms are far more invasive and have more serious health implications than the condom, and I don't see anywhere here running to get male hormone therapy. It's not irrational to want to avoid messing up your hormonal balance just so that a guy can go in without a condom.
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I mean we are already assuming that all women have a vagina like a thai whore do we really need to come out and say that all women need to take hormones or be chaste? arn't we trying to pretend we are not sexist?
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On October 22 2013 03:32 IgnE wrote:Show nested quote +On October 22 2013 03:30 babylon wrote:On October 22 2013 02:56 farvacola wrote:On October 22 2013 01:45 docvoc wrote:On October 22 2013 01:22 babylon wrote:On October 21 2013 23:23 Eisregen wrote:
Having sex if you feel like it with someone you might be attracted to does not hint on his/her intelligence.
Many women dont take the pill cause it freaks their bodies out so they use condoms. Even on birth control, use a freakin condom...
Some opinions here are really really really far from reality... Okay, this is true, but it's also one of those things that doesn't make sense in the long run to me. I understand that some birth control pills mess up hormones pretty badly, but it's a bit of trial and error, right? Logically, you would want to keep at it until you find the right one, because the consequences of SURPRISE PREGNANCY >>> not having sex for a while until you figure out which pill is the best for you. I agree with the general gist of your post though: a woman wanting to have casual sex does not make her more or less intelligent, just like a guy wanting to have casual sex does not make him more or less intelligent. Not wanting to practice safe sex does speak a little bit on priorities though, which may reflect on intelligence. About the pill part: That's not exactly true. A lot of girls get so hormonally fucked by the pill that they are scared to try other ones. That and adjusting to a new pill is not only painful from a somatic perspective, but the mood swings and everything else make it hard to live life. The pill is also shown to be unhealthy IIRC, so not all girls would want to be on the pill. It's not all good and no bad, in fact there are a lot of negatives that come with the pill. There is also the plan B pill, but after experiencing what having to buy/give that someone is like, I would never want to re-experience that. It was terrible. The alternative is far worse Exactly my thoughts. Yeah, uncontrollable mood swings suck, and yeah, it can be scary, but pregnancy is terrifying for everyone involved, even with the option of abortion open to you. I have a friend who could only function on this one type of birth control pill, so when she ran out, she just held off on sex until she got a hold of it again. That is responsible. And if a woman is against birth control pills for whatever reason and still wants to practice safe casual sex, get an IUD. That is also responsible. I shouldn't really have been talking in terms of intelligence when I made this statement: "Not wanting to practice safe sex does speak a little bit on priorities though, which may reflect on intelligence." It occurs to me that I mean "rationality," not "intelligence," since there are very intelligent people who are often very irrational. (Hello to one of the most annoying conditions of the human race: irrationality!) Notice how you reject a perfectly viable male form of birth control (the condom) and focus on female forms only. Many women react badly to an IUD as well. IUDs can make menstrual cramps and bleeding much much worse. edit: the female forms are far more invasive and have more serious health implications than the condom, and I don't see anywhere here running to get male hormone therapy. It's not irrational to want to avoid messing up your hormonal balance just so that a guy can go in without a condom.
Uh, I am all for the condom, and I think it's monumentally stupid for a guy to not wear a condom when engaging in casual sex. Responsible casual heterosexual sex to me is: (a) condom, (b) secondary birth control (whether pill, IUD, or other), and if you do not have (a) or (b), you don't engage in vaginal sex.
I'm not informed on hormone therapy re: birth control for guys. I am all for getting snipped if you are certain you do not want children in the future, though, and heavily advocate that over the woman undergoing invasive surgery.
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then perhaps maybe you should google the side effects of bc pills/ieds before you just label it as nothing more than mood swings
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On the subject of having to use condoms when you don't really want to, I'd like to chip in and spread awareness of RISUG. We need this shit to happen.
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On October 21 2013 05:40 SixStrings wrote:
Do you just roll the dice and hope she really does take the pill?
That's the biggest turn-off for me, if I don't know her, I have to assume she is either dishonest or lax with her birth control...
I don't understand how anyone can climax wearing a a condom
Sex with a condom is fine imo. The high/fun/excitement of some strange is better than bare with a girlfriend. Now obviously there's loads of non sex related benefits to a girlfriend but from a pure sex standpoint I'd rather do a girl I don't know with a condom than the same girl I've done 30 times without.
I use condoms 100% of the time if it's not a long term girlfriend situation.
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On October 22 2013 03:30 babylon wrote:Show nested quote +On October 22 2013 02:56 farvacola wrote:On October 22 2013 01:45 docvoc wrote:On October 22 2013 01:22 babylon wrote:On October 21 2013 23:23 Eisregen wrote:
Having sex if you feel like it with someone you might be attracted to does not hint on his/her intelligence.
Many women dont take the pill cause it freaks their bodies out so they use condoms. Even on birth control, use a freakin condom...
Some opinions here are really really really far from reality... Okay, this is true, but it's also one of those things that doesn't make sense in the long run to me. I understand that some birth control pills mess up hormones pretty badly, but it's a bit of trial and error, right? Logically, you would want to keep at it until you find the right one, because the consequences of SURPRISE PREGNANCY >>> not having sex for a while until you figure out which pill is the best for you. I agree with the general gist of your post though: a woman wanting to have casual sex does not make her more or less intelligent, just like a guy wanting to have casual sex does not make him more or less intelligent. Not wanting to practice safe sex does speak a little bit on priorities though, which may reflect on intelligence. About the pill part: That's not exactly true. A lot of girls get so hormonally fucked by the pill that they are scared to try other ones. That and adjusting to a new pill is not only painful from a somatic perspective, but the mood swings and everything else make it hard to live life. The pill is also shown to be unhealthy IIRC, so not all girls would want to be on the pill. It's not all good and no bad, in fact there are a lot of negatives that come with the pill. There is also the plan B pill, but after experiencing what having to buy/give that someone is like, I would never want to re-experience that. It was terrible. The alternative is far worse Exactly my thoughts. Yeah, uncontrollable mood swings suck, and yeah, it can be scary, but pregnancy is terrifying for everyone involved, even with the option of abortion open to you. I have a friend who could only function on this one type of birth control pill, so when she ran out, she just held off on sex until she got a hold of it again. That is responsible. And if a woman is against birth control pills for whatever reason and still wants to practice safe casual sex, get an IUD. That is also responsible. I shouldn't really have been talking in terms of intelligence when I made this statement: "Not wanting to practice safe sex does speak a little bit on priorities though, which may reflect on intelligence." It occurs to me that I mean "rationality," not "intelligence," since there are very intelligent people who are often very irrational. (Hello to one of the most annoying conditions of the human race: irrationality!)
Not only she is responsible, but she is also smart. 
Why is there all these talk about intelligent? I only mentioned the word smart, and they have different meaning to intelligent. A person can be born with high intelligent, but if they are sleeping around with no safety and needed an abortion, then that person aren't very smart, or educated.
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There is also those ultra thin condom you can use, but accidents can easily happen without enough lube.
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Zurich15366 Posts
On October 22 2013 05:41 furymonkey wrote:Show nested quote +On October 22 2013 03:30 babylon wrote:On October 22 2013 02:56 farvacola wrote:On October 22 2013 01:45 docvoc wrote:On October 22 2013 01:22 babylon wrote:On October 21 2013 23:23 Eisregen wrote:
Having sex if you feel like it with someone you might be attracted to does not hint on his/her intelligence.
Many women dont take the pill cause it freaks their bodies out so they use condoms. Even on birth control, use a freakin condom...
Some opinions here are really really really far from reality... Okay, this is true, but it's also one of those things that doesn't make sense in the long run to me. I understand that some birth control pills mess up hormones pretty badly, but it's a bit of trial and error, right? Logically, you would want to keep at it until you find the right one, because the consequences of SURPRISE PREGNANCY >>> not having sex for a while until you figure out which pill is the best for you. I agree with the general gist of your post though: a woman wanting to have casual sex does not make her more or less intelligent, just like a guy wanting to have casual sex does not make him more or less intelligent. Not wanting to practice safe sex does speak a little bit on priorities though, which may reflect on intelligence. About the pill part: That's not exactly true. A lot of girls get so hormonally fucked by the pill that they are scared to try other ones. That and adjusting to a new pill is not only painful from a somatic perspective, but the mood swings and everything else make it hard to live life. The pill is also shown to be unhealthy IIRC, so not all girls would want to be on the pill. It's not all good and no bad, in fact there are a lot of negatives that come with the pill. There is also the plan B pill, but after experiencing what having to buy/give that someone is like, I would never want to re-experience that. It was terrible. The alternative is far worse Exactly my thoughts. Yeah, uncontrollable mood swings suck, and yeah, it can be scary, but pregnancy is terrifying for everyone involved, even with the option of abortion open to you. I have a friend who could only function on this one type of birth control pill, so when she ran out, she just held off on sex until she got a hold of it again. That is responsible. And if a woman is against birth control pills for whatever reason and still wants to practice safe casual sex, get an IUD. That is also responsible. I shouldn't really have been talking in terms of intelligence when I made this statement: "Not wanting to practice safe sex does speak a little bit on priorities though, which may reflect on intelligence." It occurs to me that I mean "rationality," not "intelligence," since there are very intelligent people who are often very irrational. (Hello to one of the most annoying conditions of the human race: irrationality!) Not only she is responsible, but she is also smart. Why is there all these talk about intelligent? I only mentioned the word smart, and they have different meaning to intelligent. A person can be born with high intelligent, but if they are sleeping around with no safety and needed an abortion, then that person aren't very smart, or educated.
I think babylon has it right. People can be very intelligent, very smart, very educated, perfectly aware of all possible consequences, and still be incredibly irrational in their decision making.
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On October 22 2013 03:41 gedatsu wrote:On the subject of having to use condoms when you don't really want to, I'd like to chip in and spread awareness of RISUG. We need this shit to happen.
Noooo thank you.
I'd rather be smart and leave the possibility's of having children one day open. Instead of jamming something up there, I could not really understand what all those chemicals were, but I don't plan on finding out.
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On October 22 2013 05:56 WonnaPlay wrote:Show nested quote +On October 22 2013 03:41 gedatsu wrote:On the subject of having to use condoms when you don't really want to, I'd like to chip in and spread awareness of RISUG. We need this shit to happen. Noooo thank you. I'd rather be smart and leave the possibility's of having children one day open. Instead of jamming something up there, I could not really understand what all those chemicals were, but I don't plan on finding out.
The R is for Reversible.
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On October 22 2013 05:56 WonnaPlay wrote:Show nested quote +On October 22 2013 03:41 gedatsu wrote:On the subject of having to use condoms when you don't really want to, I'd like to chip in and spread awareness of RISUG. We need this shit to happen. Noooo thank you. I'd rather be smart and leave the possibility's of having children one day open. Instead of jamming something up there, I could not really understand what all those chemicals were, but I don't plan on finding out.
Reversible is the key word there.
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On October 22 2013 05:46 furymonkey wrote:
There is also those ultra thin condom you can use, but accidents can easily happen without enough lube.
A lot of people say this but personally I always use the fine ones and I've never had a condom split on me no matter how hard you're going at it. Perhaps I've just been lucky though.
In the very rare occasion it does split you can always just go to the clinic for the morning after pill.
I imagine that might be more of an issue in the US where girls might be anti that kind of things but it wouldn't be an issue here.
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that's fine that you enjoy it aero but some people like me don't even enjoy sex with a condom, it's pretty boring for me as I feel nothing and can't climax. so I don't even bother with any sex that needs a condom
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On October 22 2013 08:33 VayneAuthority wrote:
that's fine that you enjoy it aero but some people like me don't even enjoy sex with a condom, it's pretty boring for me as I feel nothing and can't climax. so I don't even bother with any sex that needs a condom
Most women don't enjoy vaginal sex either. They find it boring and can't climax. So they probably shouldn't bother either right?
On October 22 2013 05:56 WonnaPlay wrote:Show nested quote +On October 22 2013 03:41 gedatsu wrote:On the subject of having to use condoms when you don't really want to, I'd like to chip in and spread awareness of RISUG. We need this shit to happen. Noooo thank you. I'd rather be smart and leave the possibility's of having children one day open. Instead of jamming something up there, I could not really understand what all those chemicals were, but I don't plan on finding out.
What an incredibly selfish and willfully ignorant response
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On October 21 2013 02:26 r.Evo wrote:Show nested quote +On October 20 2013 12:05 Retgery wrote:On October 20 2013 11:44 Feartheguru wrote:On October 20 2013 11:37 Retgery wrote:
2 months since I've started university, and my new friends have dubbed me: "King of the Friendzone."
Every girl I talked to so far tells me I'm quite charming and they enjoy my company, they just don't enjoy it enough for more. This has happened with 5 girls on different occasions.
Edit: Funnily enough, my close friend(a girl) predicted this would happen. Well if she predicted it, there's obviously a reason. I can't hit on girls, I talk to them like I'm talking to a friend. So there like "Oh he's nice, let's keep him around." You don't want to hit on girls. Big difference. The tl;dr for someone like you, assuming you want to change things, is probably the easiest of them all: You're great when it comes to comfort and building trust, but you have no clue what being sexual even is about. A girl (in most cases) won't show any sexual interest in you when you don't show any sexual interest in her. Past that it's really hard to get more specific without more information. Most likely it's a combination of not being touchy enough, being too compliant, being too available etc. etc. - the good news is that from experience it is a LOT easier to change things in a case like yours because you already got most if not all the social basics covered.
You're post sums me up quite perfectly, I had issues with depression and anxiety which I am more or less over, I'm taking the time in university to practice being social, I even joined a class for it. 
On October 21 2013 03:02 KillerSOS wrote:Show nested quote +On October 20 2013 11:37 Retgery wrote:
2 months since I've started university, and my new friends have dubbed me: "King of the Freindzone."
Every girl I talked to so far tells me I'm quite charming and they enjoy my company, they just don't enjoy it enough for more. This has happened with 5 girls on different occasions.
Edit: Funnily enough, my close friend(a girl) predicted this would happen. Honestly this probably isn't a terrible situation unless you're really in a rush to date someone.
I don;t really want a girlfriend, I don't have the time for it, and it would be to much work too maintain one. All I really want is to meet someone who would have share a mutual interest in one another. It's always been I've liked someone and they didn't like me, or vice versa.
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EPT
