EPTPizza opens all kinds of doors :D
And when she is really ill or sth, this also shows you are very considerate
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 1057
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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Harris1st
Germany6981 Posts
Pizza opens all kinds of doors :D And when she is really ill or sth, this also shows you are very considerate | ||
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JoeCool
Germany2520 Posts
On January 29 2020 17:13 LegalLord wrote: I've definitely seen that happen a lot, especially in the context of old friends / "kinda sorta" romantic interests that I've fallen out of touch with over the years. While generally receptive to talking and sometimes meeting in a "group of friends" type of context, in some odd way they seem to draw the line at that and get cold feet when it comes to any form of one-on-one meeting, often genuinely at the last minute. It happened to me on more than one occasion with more than one person, in a pattern very much like what you just described. I don't really know for sure what's going on from the other end, but my guess is it has something to do with wanting to draw the line and move on with life in one way or other. Some people are particularly bad about handling nostalgia in a graceful way, and I think that probably just plays out in a way that's very tough to handle. Not that they don't want to talk to you or meet with you, just they don't really have a good sense for how to do so when they don't have the ability to keep their distance. I wouldn't push it if she seems like she's giving indications she might not actually want to meet. Do it if she wants to, but leave her be if not. That said, it might be exactly what she says is the case, which is more of a "shit happens" situation. I've had similiar experiences with a couple of old friends of mine. They were kinda happy talking to me via mail but never really interested in actually meeting or doing sth. But at least these guys weren't confirming meetings in the first place. I mean theres no problem if you don't want to meet just be honest and don't change your mind in the last minute. On January 29 2020 17:57 Harris1st wrote: Option 1 sounds like a good plan. You can also suggest to bring food or sth (like stop at the Italian place and get 2 pizzas) Pizza opens all kinds of doors :D And when she is really ill or sth, this also shows you are very considerate Best. Advice. Ever. On wednesday I received two more messages from her explaining that she's sorry but definitely wants to meet me another day etc. I decided to go for it and gave her call, asked her what happened and suggested to meet at her plaze with pizza. - short pause - "Yes". Long story short, after eating pizza she asked me to spend the whole night with her. Heavy makeout, no sex though because as it turned out she wasn't making up excuses and was indeed hospitalized for two days. | ||
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Harris1st
Germany6981 Posts
On January 31 2020 17:10 JoeCool wrote: I've had similiar experiences with a couple of old friends of mine. They were kinda happy talking to me via mail but never really interested in actually meeting or doing sth. But at least these guys weren't confirming meetings in the first place. I mean theres no problem if you don't want to meet just be honest and don't change your mind in the last minute. Best. Advice. Ever. On wednesday I received two more messages from her explaining that she's sorry but definitely wants to meet me another day etc. I decided to go for it and gave her call, asked her what happened and suggested to meet at her plaze with pizza. - short pause - "Yes". Long story short, after eating pizza she asked me to spend the whole night with her. Heavy makeout, no sex though because as it turned out she wasn't making up excuses and was indeed hospitalized for two days. You are welcome  Also, since you are German here is a song you might like xD + Show Spoiler + Edit: For all non-german speaking folk: It is a funny song about how Pizza can make world peace | ||
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redlightdistrict
382 Posts
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WombaT
Northern Ireland25875 Posts
On February 09 2020 02:46 redlightdistrict wrote: I am wildly confused. I met a girl who obviously likes me, but I asked her for her phone # and she says "sorry, I cant" but then she grabs my phone, gives me her Instagram, and tells me that she will follow and dm me later...what the shit? I can’t really comment on specific individuals, I find a change in the last few years is girls want me to add them on Snapchat or Facebook or whatever, then down the line we exchange phone numbers when we know each other a bit better. | ||
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Laurens
Belgium4550 Posts
On February 09 2020 02:46 redlightdistrict wrote: I am wildly confused. I met a girl who obviously likes me, but I asked her for her phone # and she says "sorry, I cant" but then she grabs my phone, gives me her Instagram, and tells me that she will follow and dm me later...what the shit? I would double-check that she is single before doing anything. | ||
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redlightdistrict
382 Posts
On February 09 2020 04:48 Laurens wrote: I would double-check that she is single before doing anything. ah, that would explain her not wanting to give me her # I can’t really comment on specific individuals, I find a change in the last few years is girls want me to add them on Snapchat or Facebook or whatever, then down the line we exchange phone numbers when we know each other a bit better. She is younger than me so maybe social media is like the new getting a phone number or something. I'll look on insta and try to figure out if shes single or not. If she does have a bf, I should just bail. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States44915 Posts
On February 09 2020 02:46 redlightdistrict wrote: I am wildly confused. I met a girl who obviously likes me, but I asked her for her phone # and she says "sorry, I cant" but then she grabs my phone, gives me her Instagram, and tells me that she will follow and dm me later...what the shit? Maybe she felt like it'd be in both of your best interests if you got to check out each other's social media profiles first, to get a better feel for your hobbies, etc.? | ||
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pebble444
Italy2497 Posts
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Acrofales
Spain18090 Posts
On February 09 2020 06:13 pebble444 wrote: I want to meet new potential soul mates Plural? | ||
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Artisreal
Germany9235 Posts
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Simberto
Germany11591 Posts
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JoeCool
Germany2520 Posts
On February 09 2020 04:48 Laurens wrote: I would double-check that she is single before doing anything. Yeah sounds fishy. Maybe I'm getting too old for this stuff but either she's interested and wants to meet again (in which case she could/would give her number to you) or she's not (she could just tell you that she has a bf or sth.). Sharing an instagram-account appears to be something in between. Just enough to keep you interested in her while not commiting to anything. | ||
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redlightdistrict
382 Posts
On February 09 2020 10:40 JoeCool wrote: Yeah sounds fishy. Maybe I'm getting too old for this stuff but either she's interested and wants to meet again (in which case she could/would give her number to you) or she's not (she could just tell you that she has a bf or sth.). Sharing an instagram-account appears to be something in between. Just enough to keep you interested in her while not commiting to anything. Just found out she has a long term bf while looking at her gram. She was giving me all the nonverbal cues (anime eyes, laughing at my jokes, touching my arm, playing with her hair) but I guess shes just a flirt #feelsbadman ;( TIL if a girl doesn't give you her # she has a dude. | ||
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LegalLord
United States13779 Posts
On February 09 2020 04:48 Laurens wrote: I would double-check that she is single before doing anything. Honestly, that's explained a solid 90% of "clearly interested, but also less-than-forthcoming in some key way" scenarios I've ever been in. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On February 09 2020 11:18 redlightdistrict wrote: Just found out she has a long term bf while looking at her gram. She was giving me all the nonverbal cues (anime eyes, laughing at my jokes, touching my arm, playing with her hair) but I guess shes just a flirt #feelsbadman ;( TIL if a girl doesn't give you her # she has a dude. I feel like it was pretty obvious that something was going on from your first message. Having said that, I do not think she would have bothered with giving you her insta if things were going great. Just wait it out. Continue to try to date others of course, but she might come around later. | ||
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JoeCool
Germany2520 Posts
On February 09 2020 15:04 LegalLord wrote: Honestly, that's explained a solid 90% of "clearly interested, but also less-than-forthcoming in some key way" scenarios I've ever been in. This happens quite often, especially from the mid 20s on (in my experience). I've had couple of girls flirting with me in the past year all of them with "clear signals of interest" and all of them were in a serious relationship. Fortunately I was aware of that so no harm done but that made me realize that girls need to check their value from time to time. No matter if they're in a relationship or not. | ||
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Artisreal
Germany9235 Posts
Thanks | ||
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WombaT
Northern Ireland25875 Posts
On February 09 2020 23:39 JoeCool wrote: This happens quite often, especially from the mid 20s on (in my experience). I've had couple of girls flirting with me in the past year all of them with "clear signals of interest" and all of them were in a serious relationship. Fortunately I was aware of that so no harm done but that made me realize that girls need to check their value from time to time. No matter if they're in a relationship or not. Is it not equally possible that frequently people misread the behaviour of friends as ‘clear signals of interest’? I have a good friend and she does that playing with the hair thing that I generally associate with flirtation, but in her particular case it’s just a nervous tic that she’s always doing regardless of the company she’s in. | ||
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farvacola
United States18834 Posts
And then there's a pragmatism question that frames the thing in different terms. Let's assume for the sake of argument that there are indeed a significant number of women who lead men on as described above. Let's also assume that gender relations and the formation of personal relationships are two areas of life that operate without regard to what "fair" means or is. Do the men who "fall prey" to the seemingly duplicitous ways of the women described above possess characteristics that they themselves can work on such that they reduce the likelihood that they become involved in the "predatory" scenario in the first place? I think the answer is probably yes, particularly when weighed against the relatively unstable assumption that a significant group of women regularly and categorically lead men on in a culpable way | ||
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