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On July 22 2011 16:16 Aterons_toss wrote:
Why do we value sex so highly in 2days society ?
1. It can't be proven scientifically atm but theoretically an orgasm is the most "pleasurable" felling one can have
2. Its god dam healthy, for both man and women, its keeps the blood flowing... relieves stress..etc
3. The hormones in our body make us "want" to do it
4. As long as you buy a 0.10 $ condom it does not have any "negative" side thus... why not do it ?
5. The more you fuck the more you are kind of an "alpha" male... i do not know if humans were originally "made" to have kind of an "alpha" male in a grup of 5-15 humans but if they were that might be also an explaination why sex is so highly regarded and why it is "shameful" to be a virgin ( again this is proly untrue but it just came trough my mind so why not write it down o.o )
*Its also important to note the 1-3 can also be done with you hand for both mans and women tho it is hypothetically ( and most including myself would agree that it is indeed ) "better" if you do it with an opposite sex partner.
Also as a man ( and since you are posting this on tl i can only assume you are idd a man ) you actually need to know "how to... " so if you being to have sex at 14 rather then 25 you will have a much easier time pleasuring a women due to you previous experience ... or so they say ( as far as i know anything beside oral sex/sex with "toys" is pretty... natural so again this is likely that this is 99% an urban myth ).
I'm not all that experienced on the topic of sex, but I'm going to take a stab at challenging a lot of the assertions you have made because I believe many of them to be partially false.
1. Anecdotes (and the movie Trainspotting) suggest that Heroin is more pleasurable than orgasm. This (thankfully) I lack the experience to confirm.
2. Healthy if you take proper precautions against STD's (and have sufficient self-control to avoid addiction).
3. True for the vast majority of us. Our hormones can lead us down some pretty bad paths if we don't keep them in check (murder comes to mind).
4. Two obvious immediate negative effects come to mind. One, sex could potentially damage your relationship with your sexual partner and create awkward tension in future encounters if the sex does not go well (or if it should never have happened in the first place). Two, if your performance is poor (as one would assume is quite likely being a virgin) it could be somewhat traumatizing and quite embarrassing. I'm not saying you should avoid sex based on those two reasons, but they point out how important it is to feel emotionally "ready" for it.
5. There is some truth in that. But not everyone is cut out to be an "alpha male" and perhaps it is best to not pursue something that isn't in "harmony" with your true self. Perhaps you would be better off coming to terms with who you are as a person, but this is advice I can only guess about. Perhaps no one on these forums is "wise" enough to give valuable insight into this topic.
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I lost it when I was 20, was in your shoes for awhile, wait til marriage. But that got abandoned thx to lust. Alot of people here are right, the media and cultural has blown this way out of proportion. It is what it is, you can try and wait like I did but then one hot moment and your done.
Its also important to realize that your going to be really bad at sex by waiting. Sex takes skill as lame as that sounds. And ive always thought of the picture, "you waited til marriage, she didnt.................................................... herp derp? I think so.
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On July 22 2011 15:43 andynewin wrote:I'm 24 and still a virgin, my hands and fingers arn't though, just gonna take it one step at a time. I'm still like a bronze right now im gonna wait till I'm atleast a diamond before I start in masters 
win hahha
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Dude, fuck society. Sex is nice, but overall don't waste you time unless it's with someone you care about. Otherwise, just go read a book or something, you're time will be more well spent.
Random hook ups are pretty gay.
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Wow, reading this thread i realized how my country's culture is different(like being 20+ and virgin is unthinkable). I thought it was prejudice, but here we are indeed more sexual. :D Me gusta. Well, I wouldn't recommend people to rationalize as much as some of you guys are doing, with that "my pace" attitude(it sounds presumptuous to say you don't need sex). Just stop thinking about it and make it happen.
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On July 22 2011 11:38 heroyi wrote:
I am 20 years old about to hit 21 and am still a virgin. What is the point of the said statement?
Well to an avg-dimwitted tool, I would be considered a "loser."
Is this a valid assumption?
Society puts a lot of pressure, especially on pre-teens, on the idea of you must have sex else you are just a loser. They portray that you can't achieve a fulfilling happy life without and everybody is doing it and it is easy as 1,2,3.Despite there being studies showing both men and women who have engaged in sexual activity despite not wanting to or feeling "ready."
I do wish someday to experience it (ultimately to have kids and raise a family) however I do feel that people are raising the point up too frequently and giving it too much value. Is it really something that should be highly regarded where if you fail to achieve such feat then you are looked down upon?
discuss??
edit:
I am not a religious person. I raised the point just for curiosity sake.
However if you are asking whether I am religious or not due to my virginity then no. I am a virgin just because fate has not allowed to experience it...but that is not the point
edit 2:
I did not state nor do I "value" virginity highly.
I am asking if sex topic, in general, is over valued in society.
This topic ties to a lot of other things. It connects to the problems little girls with social images of them must having a 32C boobs and slim slender body else they are not socially acceptable. It connects to "porn" addiction with the arise of the internet. Which also connects to people have super high expectation of what sex should be (i.e threesome is not as prominent as people think)
etc...
"Why is everything about sex?"
-40 year old virgin
People bring up sex often, but their actual sexual experience is probably a lot less than they make it out to be. A lot of girls who talk about their sexual conquests, end up acting like prudes when you try to get sexual with them. Fact is: people talk the talk, but they never walked the walk, so they are just talking bullshit. Don't get down on yourself, there's PLENTY of people in your position.
However, don't sit on your ass. Try to make things happen. Don't wait on fate, that's for women.
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On July 22 2011 16:59 Alpino wrote:
Wow, reading this thread i realized how my country's culture is different(like being 20+ and virgin is unthinkable). I thought it was prejudice, but here we are indeed more sexual. :D Me gusta. Well, I wouldn't recommend people to rationalize as much as some of you guys are doing, with that "my pace" attitude(it sounds presumptuous to say you don't need sex). Just stop thinking about it and make it happen.
Yeah, Bulgaria is the same way. North America is pretty bad in that respect.
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It's because we are all animals with brains, and most human beings don't even have that big of a brain (95IQ and lower).
It's what basic instinct tells us to do.
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On July 22 2011 17:00 craz3d wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2011 11:38 heroyi wrote:
I am 20 years old about to hit 21 and am still a virgin. What is the point of the said statement?
Well to an avg-dimwitted tool, I would be considered a "loser."
Is this a valid assumption?
Society puts a lot of pressure, especially on pre-teens, on the idea of you must have sex else you are just a loser. They portray that you can't achieve a fulfilling happy life without and everybody is doing it and it is easy as 1,2,3.Despite there being studies showing both men and women who have engaged in sexual activity despite not wanting to or feeling "ready."
I do wish someday to experience it (ultimately to have kids and raise a family) however I do feel that people are raising the point up too frequently and giving it too much value. Is it really something that should be highly regarded where if you fail to achieve such feat then you are looked down upon?
discuss??
edit:
I am not a religious person. I raised the point just for curiosity sake.
However if you are asking whether I am religious or not due to my virginity then no. I am a virgin just because fate has not allowed to experience it...but that is not the point
edit 2:
I did not state nor do I "value" virginity highly.
I am asking if sex topic, in general, is over valued in society.
This topic ties to a lot of other things. It connects to the problems little girls with social images of them must having a 32C boobs and slim slender body else they are not socially acceptable. It connects to "porn" addiction with the arise of the internet. Which also connects to people have super high expectation of what sex should be (i.e threesome is not as prominent as people think)
etc...
"Why is everything about sex?"
-40 year old virgin People bring up sex often, but their actual sexual experience is probably a lot less than they make it out to be. A lot of girls who talk about their sexual conquests, end up acting like prudes when you try to get sexual with them. Fact is: people talk the talk, but they never walked the walk, so they are just talking bullshit. Don't get down on yourself, there's PLENTY of people in your position. However, don't sit on your ass. Try to make things happen. Don't wait on fate, that's for women.
It is not a fact, not all people lie about their sexual conquests, I never lied about mine which aren't many, but some. The fact is, some people never walked the walk. And thank you for saying what i couldn't word. Guys, don't sit on your asses!
(sorry for double post.)
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On July 22 2011 13:43 Stil wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2011 13:36 Rarak wrote:
If you are about 12. Once you start having sex, I dont think holding hands cuts it anymore tbh.
Having said that, I don't think there is any shame in not having sex until you are 20 or so. From that point onwards tho, no excuses imo its fun times so why not?
Hehe. I'm nearly 30 years old. Close to 40 notches in the bedpost and soon... going to be married for the third time - I'm glad with just holding hands and cuddling at times, gotta save my strength 
Sure I am engaged to be married etc soon and sure I hold my fiance's hand from time to time. My point is I don't yearn for it.
Heck after work sometimes all you want is a cuddle.
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Sex is only a big deal to people who don't have it. There's no validation in it, it's just another form of stimulation, like starcraft. It just happens to be a bit more physically pleasing. Why do guys like to have sex with chicks? Because it's great exercise and it feel good. All there is to it.
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On July 22 2011 16:59 Alpino wrote:
Wow, reading this thread i realized how my country's culture is different(like being 20+ and virgin is unthinkable). I thought it was prejudice, but here we are indeed more sexual. :D Me gusta. Well, I wouldn't recommend people to rationalize as much as some of you guys are doing, with that "my pace" attitude(it sounds presumptuous to say you don't need sex). Just stop thinking about it and make it happen.
20+ and virgin is pretty rare in the US too though, so don't put too much into a TL thread. Clearly the TL userbase is not very representative of the general population.
Although I do have to say this thread explains a lot about why TL treats women in esports so horribly.
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On July 22 2011 17:12 hmunkey wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2011 16:59 Alpino wrote:
Wow, reading this thread i realized how my country's culture is different(like being 20+ and virgin is unthinkable). I thought it was prejudice, but here we are indeed more sexual. :D Me gusta. Well, I wouldn't recommend people to rationalize as much as some of you guys are doing, with that "my pace" attitude(it sounds presumptuous to say you don't need sex). Just stop thinking about it and make it happen. 20+ and virgin is pretty rare in the US too though, so don't put too much into a TL thread. Clearly the TL userbase is not very representative of the general population. Although I do have to say this thread explains a lot about why TL treats women in esports so horribly.
TL is TL - but what about the strong religious attitudes, sex education (or lack thereof) and the abstinence movement in America that we Brits seem to hear about alot - are they strong movements or just sensational enough for be heard of from over here?
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It's a big deal to one person so they make it out to be a big deal to everyone. It's not a big deal to another person so they believe it shouldn't be a big deal for anyone.
Not everyone is the same though, and it's obviously going to hold different values for those who have experienced sex before vs those who haven't and don't know what it's like.
It's an animal urge and people are animals so everyone can relate to having such urges. Again though, not everyone is affected by said urges the same way due to several factors, some feel the urge more strongly while others might be less effected by it or be able to shrug it off more easily. Everyone has the urge though (assuming the sexual organs are present and functioning properly in relation to the brain and it's chemistry) so they can relate to a common cause.
When the majority considers something like this normal, abnormal behavior is not often looked upon with the most favorable consideration.
I hope that brings some, if any clarity to the situation.
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Just to take a wild guess, I would say that the reason for society's focus on this issue has something to do with it being a biological instinct due to it's necessity for the survival of the species.
You might as well ask if food and oxygen are OP.
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live up to your own standards, dont let anyone else tell you what you "need" to be succesful. Thats up to you to decide.
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On July 22 2011 16:52 Divergence wrote:
4. Two obvious immediate negative effects come to mind. One, sex could potentially damage your relationship with your sexual partner and create awkward tension in future encounters if the sex does not go well (or if it should never have happened in the first place). Two, if your performance is poor (as one would assume is quite likely being a virgin) it could be somewhat traumatizing and quite embarrassing. I'm not saying you should avoid sex based on those two reasons, but they point out how important it is to feel emotionally "ready" for it.
Wouldnt agree to it. I lost mine with 21. My girlfriend was well experienced, my first perfomance was, guess it, very poor, but it didnt matter. Find the right girl, practice with her alot :p, and you will catch up very soon.
A poor perfomance is natural for the first few time, just find the right girl and everything will be fine.
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meh sex is just sex.
peer pressure is probably high yeah, but society aswell ?
once you get past the virgin point i dont think anyone makes a big deal out of it anymore.
well, from my experience that is.
not sure how it is on the other side of the pond.
i can't for the life of me understand abstinence though.
thinking back to the point i actually lost my virginity (17 years ago , at age 15 , im an old git ! )
i really really wouldnt want to experience that with my also virgin wife on my wedding night.
so clumsy and akward.
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On July 22 2011 11:38 heroyi wrote:
I am a virgin just because fate has not allowed to experience it...
You are a virgin not because of fate, but because you have not sought it out. When in highschool, girls don't just give up their bodies, at least not where I am from. The man has to work to get in her pants. Also, in college, establishing a relationship and getting in a girls pants may also take some working. Its not just something that fate can determine where, oh look, there's a naked girl in my bed and I have a raging boner, I guess ill have sex now!
Any way, back onto the point.
While I think society overvalues sex a bit, and terms like "lol kid get a girlfriend" or "get laid, nerd" are pretty pathetic, the reason sex is so prominent is because its a huge basic human need. I say need, not desire, because without sex there is no human species. Personally, I have always been incredibly horny, and was mastrubating as early as the third grade. I don't know if I "value" sex highly, but I crave it often for sure. When I turned 16, I sacrificed a lot in my life, time, money, values, friends, ect, just to get laid, and get laid often. Looking back I don't know if I would have done any thing differently because life for me the rush and thrill of not only sex, but the pursuit of sex is just too enjoyable.
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On July 22 2011 15:43 andynewin wrote:I'm 24 and still a virgin, my hands and fingers arn't though, just gonna take it one step at a time. I'm still like a bronze right now im gonna wait till I'm atleast a diamond before I start in masters
U won't get in gold if u just watch replays :S
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EPT
