EPTDontEvenReply - Page 3
| Forum Index > General Forum |
|
krndandaman
Mozambique16569 Posts
| ||
|
love1another
United States1844 Posts
| ||
|
NiGoL
1868 Posts
 | ||
|
Mastermind
Canada7096 Posts
| ||
|
XsebT
Denmark2980 Posts
| ||
|
Jackafur
United States116 Posts
| ||
|
Biff The Understudy
France7914 Posts
It's so funny how people always end up with shits like ur the fagot u dick sucking fuck fag cock sucker!! eat a fuckin dick u piece of shitt!! or youre a fucking dumbass, shitbrained, asswipe, retarded dipshit. you prob walk around with that shit too you dumb mother fucker. I hope you get hit by a car. fuck off, eat shit, and die. What a lack of humour. | ||
|
SoLaR[i.C]
United States2969 Posts
| ||
|
sixghost
United States2096 Posts
Original ad: we need profesional catering for our christmas day dinner party. must have experence catering. SERIOUS RESPONSES ONLY From Me to ************@*********.org: Hello, I am writing in response to your ad looking for a caterer for your Christmas dinner party. I am a freelance chef with a lot of catering experience. I was the top chef at the world renowned Restauran de Bon Foodeux for over five years. If you are still looking for a caterer, let me know. Thanks, Michael From Brian ******* to Me: michael thank you for responding. what are your rates? we are expeting about twenty people at are dinner party so will need enough food for all of them. can you supply the food and we reembirse you? also do you have a menu of mealss you cook for us to choose from? From Me to Brian *******: Brian, Supplying the food will not be a problem. I have a wide variety of exquisite dishes for you to choose from, which I will list below. My rates are per person and it depends on the meal, but generally ranges from $20-$40 per person. Here are the meals I typically offer: La Nouille du Triomphe A meal of pure bliss and flavor - a delicious plate of ramen noodles boiled in the purest of water. Noodles can be flavored with either chicken or beef seasoning. Le Repas du Fromage Délicieux A mouthwatering bowl of easy mac cooked to perfection in a microwave. Served with a side of peanut M&Ms. Le Repas de la Faim de Grande Personne A delectably and savory microwaved TV dinner. The dish comes with two pieces of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, freshly grown vegetables and a satisfying brownie that is heated to absolute perfection. Le Sandwich Rouge A truly phenominal sandwich consisting of ketchup spread over a carefully microwaved piece of bread, and then topped with another piece of bread. Comes with a side of mayonnaise for dipping. Dessert Le Plat du Lait et de la Céréale A satisfying end to your meal, this dessert consists of a bowl of fruit loops served with either skim or 2% milk. Milk can be substituted with water for those on a diet. La Pâtisserie Bourrée Individually wrapped twinkies that have been microwaved to sheer delight. Let me know which meals you are interested in, and I can give you a quote on how much everything will cost. Thank you, Michael From Brian ******* to Me: what the fuck you actully cater that shit to people ? yea im gonna serve easy mac and twinkies for christmas dinner are you fuckin kidding me. my son in college could make that shit! From Me to Brian *******: Brian, The twinkes aren't for everyone. I understand if you are on a diet, but for me, nothing celebrates the birth of Jesus like a twinkie and some good easy mac. If you aren't interested in that meal, would you consider any of my other options? My personal favorite is Le Sandwich Rouge. That is also very affordable. For twenty people, it would probably cost you about $400. Michael From Brian ******* to Me: cut the bullshit fancy french names and call it a goddamn gross ass ketchup sanwich From Me to Brian *******: Brian, I am personally offended that you are insulting my masterpiece meals. These are perfected family recipes that have been passed down for generations of chefs in my family. Cooking is my art, and for you to insult me without even trying my work is just plain rude. I completely lost it while reading the menu | ||
|
VTArlock
United States1763 Posts
On March 12 2010 01:56 love1another wrote: The CupGlock was hilarious. I thought spoon blade took the cake on that one hahaha | ||
|
synapse
China13814 Posts
On March 11 2010 16:07 Dyno. wrote: http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=84 I haven't read all of them yet but I have a hard time believing anything can top this. Lol that one was in the random pics thread xD I like the tree / grill one the best... | ||
|
p53
297 Posts
HAHAHAA this one is so awesome | ||
|
oo_xerox
United States852 Posts
O fuck it im gonna read some moaaar. I loved the one about the soccer girl and the transport guy. | ||
|
tonight
United States11130 Posts
| ||
|
SpiritoftheTunA
United States20903 Posts
I also love this archive http://www.asofterworld.com/oqarchive.php, I think it's clever and cute. Favorites: + Show Spoiler + To: Irving Oil Re: The future is ours Dear Irving, I am writing to apply for a job with your company, and my assigned mission is to take you down from the inside. Little things, you know? I'm supposed to fudge your tax records a bit, leave you open to audits. Misdirect shipments. Eat away at your profits so that your costs go up, too. I'm here to speed up the peak oil problem, because after that the world starts getting better. It gets better and better, Irving. By the time I'm born, a hundred years from now, there's no crime. There's no more pollution. Human beings are living to be almost two hundred years old. Every year that number gets bigger. They tell me that means I might live forever. So I volunteered to be sent into the past. How could any kid grow up, hearing about crime and violence and war and sexually transmitted diseases, and not think, "Fuck, that sounds exciting." My mission is to sabotage you, but really, I want to help you. I don't want to live forever, Irving. I want to live and die and be afraid and excited and injured in a daring rooftop escape. I spent seventy years sitting around in classrooms just learning. Oh, how can we live longer? Oh how can we make ourselves more perfect? Oh, we're all very wise. But I want to kill something. I want to get drunk in a bar and fuck a dude with a scar down the side of his face. I want a scar down the side of my face. I want to get an alcoholic woman pregnant, and when that little freak squirts out, nine months later, I want to tell him, "Live for today, you retarded little shit. The end is near." Joey Comeau + Show Spoiler + Dear Blizzard, I am writing to re-apply for a position with your company. I interviewed yesterday for a position as a level designer, and I know that things did not go well. I wasn't honest with your interviewer. She asked me, "what's your worst quality?" and I had read online that I should say my worst quality was something positive. Perfectionism. Obsession with detail. Well, I'm not a perfectionist. She knew, and I knew. If I had yesterday's interview to do over, I would have been honest. I would have said the first, truest thing that came to mind when my interviewer asked, "What would you say is your worst quality?" I am super into rape games. My girlfriend and I take turns being the rapist. We have a safe word, and we both really enjoy ourselves, but deep down I feel like this is wrong. I don't know why this is relevant to the position of level designer for video games, but I long ago stopped trying to understand these psychological interviews. I have done interview after interview with these fake phony stupid answers that I read about online. Maybe being honest will help. Joey Comeau Reading one of these would probably be a nice break from all the bullshit cover letters that companies get. EDIT: oh this one's fricken awesome http://www.asofterworld.com/oq-display.php?id=7 | ||
|
oo_xerox
United States852 Posts
| ||
|
Perseverance
Japan2800 Posts
| ||
|
Ian Ian Ian
915 Posts
| ||
| ||
