[TV] HBO Game of Thrones - Page 1230

On June 05 2014 23:54 Dunmer wrote:
Where the fuck is oberyn?

On June 05 2014 23:54 Dunmer wrote:
Where the fuck is oberyn?

On June 06 2014 00:00 TheFish7 wrote:
crap I left out Jaime and hot pie.

On June 06 2014 00:16 sperY wrote:
No Oberyn, no vote. Sorry.

On June 05 2014 19:59 imJealous wrote:
Alright guys, I think I figured out what's going to happen to Tyrion...

So clearly Jaime is going to stage a daring prison break for his brother and the two of them are going to sneak out of the city inconspicuously. They shouldn't have any trouble blending in as commoners, neither of them are super well known individuals in Kings Landing or have any strikingly noticeable features like a golden hand or being half as tall as a normal human! Once they escape Kings Landing without incident they will make for the wall where they can both be safe from the rule of law. After all, the nights watch has stood for thousands of years, its not going anywhere any time soon!

Along the way they won't have much trouble, Bolton's control the north now and Jaime has a great relationship with those people. But if they do get into a fight, Jaime's master swordsmanship should be more than enough to protect them and if it isn't, Tyrion always knows how to leverage his Lannister heritage to get them out of a pickle!

Once they arrive at the wall they meet up with all the remaining Stark family members who all happen to be meeting up for a reunion at the same time! You see, Lady Brienne and Podrick met up with Arya and the Hound and they started a happy little nuclear family unit and headed to the wall to meet up with John, Rickon and Osha, Brann and Hodor (Sansa stayed with little finger cause she always sucked anyway). Brann Just came back from beyond the wall where he talked to some magical tree that blew up all the white walkers! In the chain reaction, about 99% of the wildlings were caught in the blast as well, leaving only Mance Raider, Tormund Giantsbain, and Egritte who proceeded to storm Castle Black by themselves, killing Alistar Thorn and Janos Slint before John was able to convince them to just join the night's watch instead.

So anyway, Jaime, Tyrion, and Bronn arrive at the wall (oh I did mention that Bronn decided to come with them? I mean Tyrion is still insanely rich right?! Why WOULDN'T Bronn continue serving him!) and Jaime tells Brann he's sorry about that one time he pushed him out of that window and Brann forgives him because hey, it was all part of him discovering his powers. Anyways they all have a good laugh and become best friends.

MEANWHILE... Outraged at the wrongful death of fair prince Oberyn, Dorne rises up in revolt against the crown! They join forces with Stannis, the Iron Bank of Bravos, Daenerys with her dragons and her army, Littlefinger with Sansa and the Knights of The Vale, whatever is left of the north, the Ironborn (who just finished wiping out house Bolton), whatever country Lady Talisa (Robb's wife) was from, and pretty much everyone else that Tywin, Cersi, or Joffery shat on over the years and march on Kings Landing, where the Tyrells let them in!

Oberyn's identical twin brother Oberyn2 murders Cersi then proceeds to make love to... pretty much everyone. Loris Tyrell murders the shit out of Stannis and the Red Woman for what they did to Renly. Before the battle gets any more out of hand Davos Seaworth convinces King Tommin of Tywin's evil ways. His eyes now open, King Tommin declares Sir Davos his new hand of the king and orders Sir Pounce to destroy his evil grandfather! The bold Sir Pounce leaps off Tommin's lap and rips Tywin Lannister's head right off! Everyone cheers and the fighting stops!

In order to ensure a long lasting peace, Tommin marries both Margery Tyrell and Daenerys Stormborn and is declared the pimpest king in the history of the seven kingdoms! The massive wedding ceremony is held not just for Tommin and his two brides, but also to celebrate the marriages of Jaime and Brienne, John and Egritte, Same and Gilly, Arya and Gendry, and Messandei and Grey Worm. Sir Jorah Mormont shows up to the ceremony to see Dany off, they talk out their problems and forgive each other, but Jorah is still stuck in the friend zone. Hotpie prepares the feast and The Brootherhood without Banners provides entertaiment, the highlight of which is a magic show where Thoros of Myr asks The Hound to come up from the audience and saw Berric Dondarrion in half with a flaming sword. No one dies (except Berric Dondarrion), but that doesn't stop Edmure Tully from making jokes about how "you guys think this wedding is crazy now... just wait till they play Rains of Castemere!".

As the party winds down, Tyrion walks out to the edge of the party, drink in hand, and smiles at the spirits of Ned Stark, Robert Baratheon, Tywin, and Joffery who all smile back and laugh as if they were old friends...

On June 06 2014 00:21 urboss wrote:
Oberyn is too disfigured right now to make it into polls

On June 05 2014 22:59 karazax wrote:
I agree that the eunuch love story is silly, just about as silly as Messendei "not knowing" that the unsullied were eunuchs when she was the translater for the slave master who sold them

On June 06 2014 00:36 Sharkies wrote:

I thought bookreaders weren't allowed here...

On June 06 2014 02:23 Zandar wrote:


That was never said. She knows that they are eunuchs.
What they were wondering about was if they cut both their dicks and balls off or if they only cut the dicks and they still have balls.