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Active: 654 users

The evil organizations of SC2 - a guide - Page 7

Forum Index > Closed
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DanLee
Profile Joined January 2012
Canada316 Posts
October 19 2012 15:47 GMT
#121
You forgot to add "unhindered by sexual relations with the opposite sex" to the strengths list of "The Community"
nty
silent_owl
Profile Joined March 2011
Philippines3098 Posts
October 19 2012 16:17 GMT
#122
This post is just awesome. LOL!
"If you know your enemy and yourself, you need not fear the results of a hundred battles." - Sun Tzu
WilDMousE
Profile Joined July 2011
Chile1335 Posts
October 19 2012 16:25 GMT
#123
On October 20 2012 00:32 amazingxkcd wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 20 2012 00:31 KimJongChill wrote:
On October 19 2012 19:08 Shellshock1122 wrote:
We only scored a 10?



I would have been happy with a 13 or even a 12, but getting a 10 means that we are slacking. We need to step it up!

time to email sponsors i already have mah mail and twitter ready
Barackopala
qtiehunter
Profile Joined August 2012
1088 Posts
October 19 2012 16:32 GMT
#124
Perfect.

I'm still sad that Kespa didn't get 10/10. Oh, the good old times...!
RIP KT.Violet
TheHansBecker
Profile Joined February 2011
United States117 Posts
October 19 2012 16:35 GMT
#125
--- Nuked ---
Leny_1
Profile Joined March 2010
Poland45 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-19 16:50:50
October 19 2012 16:49 GMT
#126
+ Show Spoiler +

On October 19 2012 19:06 Fenrax wrote:
Currently there are so many evil organizations in Starcraft 2 busy killing the game that it is hard to keep track. But don't worry, here is a detailed overview. Complete with what methods they use to accomplish their goal and a grade of how powerful-evil they truly are.


Activision Blizzard

goal: control
method: copyright despotism

Once a good company Blizzard was infiltrated by the wicked Activision and soon turned to the dark side. By refusing to implement the 1990s technology of LAN into their games Blizzad has achieved control over every game that is ever played. Now if someone wanted to market SC2 without doing exactly as they want they could just pull the plug. They could do that anyway as shown in the Kespa-Blizzard conflict but a trial would target only the right people and not the innocent majority. And that is of course not desirable if you are a proud powerhouse of evil like Blizzard.
You'd think they'd be interested in making money with SC2 but that is clearly not the case. They make enough money with WoW and Diablo3 so for SC2 their are only interest is to control every aspect of the game even if that means less money for them.
If you are in doubt about how evil Blizzard has truly become by now, just take a quick look at a few of their victims (nsfw). There are not many things as cruel and coldblooded as the mutilation of the Diablo gameplay and the Starcraft chat interface.

Extremely powerful and evil to the bone, Blizzard scores an overwhelming
[image loading]
9.5/10


Kespa
goals: money, getting away with being as obnoxious as possible
methods: bullying, despotism, pissing off everyone, lying, disqualifications, exploitation, stalling, boycotts, blackmail

The Korean Esports Association (Kespa) is a former rival of Blizzard that lost the intellectual property war against them and is now their bootlicker. From time to time they try evil evil things again just out of habit like randomly forbidding their players to participate in the GSL but one call from their new master who felt his authory challenged was enough and they went back into a fetal position.
Kespa's evil glory clearly lies in the past and if you weren't around back then you have missed a lot: killing GOMTV's Broodwar ambitions by forbidding their players to participate, dqing players for random shit (typing pp instead of ppp, typing "a", accidentally pressing ESC before the game even started), installing a koreawide SC:BW monopoly through shady means, exploiting young players through semi-legal trade rules and much much more. In short Kespa brought asshattery to a new level.

In overall evilness they would clearly deserve a 10 on the scale but with their recent decline in power they can't get the full score. But don't you be concerned, if they ever get an ounce of power back they will once again abuse it like no one else can.
[image loading]
8/10


MLG
goal: keep Esports as small as possible
methods: PPVs, Extended Series

The Major League Gaming (MLG) was founded 10 years ago with the exclusive goal of hindering Esports growth. This might seem like a strange goal but their actions leave no other explanation. Their tactic is pretty clever: be big enough to smother all competitors, but as soon as Esports might grow, scare away your audience with PPVs that no one buys and Extended Series' that no one wants. The current MLG vs. Proleague invitational is a prime example of how to kill any form of hype. Only experienced saboteurs like MLG could have pulled this one off to such perfection. 10$ for 4.3x10³² games in the weirdest format of all time (BO2 cross matches into non-cross playoffs and the tournament winner getting 100% of the price money) was the perfect ratio of scaring away the majority, oversaturating the few who still got hyped and not making any money for themselves to grow.

They are not overly powerful due to their self-restriction to keep Esports (and thus themselves) as small as possible in North America. But nonetheless their relentlessness and consistency in killing Esports gives them a...
[image loading]
7/10


ESF
goals: revenge on Kespa, not become like Kespa
method: becoming like Kespa

The Esports Federation (ESF) is convinced that the only way to not end up like Kespa is to be a united front of teams. And if someone disagrees (s)he gets forced back into the line. By any means, even Kespa means. If that is no convincing logic then I have never heard of it.

They do not have a long history of evil like Kespa or Blizzard but they are certainly on the rise. The current feud with Kespa and the Slayers drama might only be the start of a new big player in the world of villains. So far they don't score that many points but the trend is clearly upwards and others would have to work a whole life for the same amount of carnage the ESF has achieved in a few weeks.
[image loading]
5.5/10

The Community
goal: killing Esports
method: complaining that Esports gets killed

The community called "The Community" is the mastermind behind all of this. It is a loose secret network of spectators and players and of all they are the most determind to kill Esports. None of the other organizations could get away with their bullshit if it wasn't for "The Community" feeding them money. They are the financial support behind the death of Esports and as such solely responsible for it.
Their most fearsome tactic however is the organized complaining: balance whine until your ears fall off, shitstorms of incredible stupidity on Reddit and emails to the sponsors over trivia, rumors and private drama. These are of course all distraction tactics to prevent the real problems from being solved but so far the community has not seen through the dirty antics of "The Community".

Powerful, rich, destructive, lurking in the shadows, pulling the strings but yet inscrutable. "The Community" is a parade example of an evil organization and anything less than the maximum score would be a shame.
[image loading]
10/10



People like you are killing e-sports!!! Shame on you!!!
ACrow
Profile Joined October 2011
Germany6583 Posts
October 19 2012 17:01 GMT
#127
You forgot EG. They cursed eSports to the Death.
Get off my lawn, young punks
HeavenResign
Profile Joined April 2011
United States702 Posts
October 19 2012 17:01 GMT
#128
I've been waiting for a satirical post on all of this drama since the moment Destiny's post hit reddit. I'm pleased.

Good thread.
shadowy
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Bulgaria305 Posts
October 19 2012 17:06 GMT
#129
nonetheless ...enjoyable read
[Fear the leather Gracket!] // ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ // Liquid'Hero hwaiting!
MysteryTerran
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States178 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-19 17:07:30
October 19 2012 17:06 GMT
#130
lol
Playing Protoss is like playing Guitar Hero on Very Easy
Penev
Profile Joined October 2012
28475 Posts
October 19 2012 17:11 GMT
#131
There's nothing good humor can't fix. Thanks!
I Protoss winner, could it be?
Silvanel
Profile Blog Joined March 2003
Poland4726 Posts
October 19 2012 17:16 GMT
#132
You should have added EG and MoW, the villains i am missing the most.
Pathetic Greta hater.
Inverse1
Profile Joined March 2011
United Kingdom61 Posts
October 19 2012 17:17 GMT
#133
superb.
i'm about to open some fuckin' windows
Necro)Phagist(
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Canada6644 Posts
October 19 2012 17:21 GMT
#134
On October 19 2012 19:12 theBlues wrote:
goals: revenge on Kespa, not become like Kespa
method: becoming like Kespa

This had me LITERALLY on the floor laughing, I almost stabbed myself with a coat hanger that was lying on the floor and still couldnt stop laughing. I hope they spotlight this.

This xD I fucking lol'd
"Are you talking to me? Because your authority is not recognized in fort kick ass!"" ||Park Jung Suk|| |MC|HerO|HyuN|
Stutters695
Profile Joined July 2012
2610 Posts
October 19 2012 17:23 GMT
#135
I thought this was going to be a post ragging on EG. I am happily surprised. This is, great lol
mishimaBeef
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
Canada2259 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-19 17:32:14
October 19 2012 17:26 GMT
#136
On October 19 2012 19:06 Fenrax wrote:

By refusing to implement the 1990s technology of LAN into their games Blizzad has achieved control over every game that is ever played. Now if someone wanted to market SC2 without doing exactly as they want they could just pull the plug. They could do that anyway as shown in the Kespa-Blizzard conflict but a trial would target only the right people and not the innocent majority. And that is of course not desirable if you are a proud powerhouse of evil like Blizzard.
You'd think they'd be interested in making money with SC2 but that is clearly not the case. They make enough money with WoW and Diablo3 so for SC2 their are only interest is to control every aspect of the game even if that means less money for them.



Yeah, as if courts get things done.


EDIT: lol i didn';t see that last character
Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
ymir233
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States8275 Posts
October 19 2012 17:29 GMT
#137
Fenrax too good <33333333333
Come motivate me to be cynical about animus at http://infinityandone.blogspot.com/ // Stork proxy gates are beautiful.
Psi0nic
Profile Joined March 2011
Uruguay39 Posts
October 19 2012 17:35 GMT
#138
Lol, this is the funniest thread ever. How about making a new one where you discuss the evilness of sc2 teams? xD
Life's what you make it
Typhoon1789
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
Australia292 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-19 17:42:34
October 19 2012 17:42 GMT
#139
ESF
goals: revenge on Kespa, not become like Kespa
method: becoming like Kespa

I lost it at this. Its rear i laugh for real, but this shit was funny. :D


This was a really good read! Well done.
Professional Cunt.
GhandiEAGLE
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States20754 Posts
October 19 2012 17:45 GMT
#140
Fuck, we totally deserved a 10
Oh, my achin' hands, from rakin' in grands, and breakin' in mic stands
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