June 12, 2012 - Seoul, South Korea The Ongamenet Safety and Health Institution is raising the threat level from Code Yellow, or Elevated, to Code Red, Severe and declaring a state of emergency as reports of planned terrorist incidents have been confirmed by intelligence agents. Notorious terrorist Jung Laden is believed to be once again operating around the Yongsan region, and all citizens are advised to stay vigilant and alert. Also going by the alias "FanTaSy", Jung Laden is considered armed and highly dangerous, and everyone is advised to avoid confronting him if possible. Instead, please contact authorities immediately with any information you may have about his whereabouts or activities.
Do not be taken in by his boyish good looks and his youthful disposition; the damage and destruction Jung Laden can cause is not to be underestimated. Jung Laden is a charismatic spiritual leader who leads masses of willing followers ready to destroy your way of life and everything you stand for. It cannot be emphasized enough how dangerous Jung Laden and his followers can be, and to understand why this is the case, one must understand the legions of fanatics at his command.
The most infamous of Jung Laden's terror squad, Jung Laden employs black market vultures that devastate his enemies in raids and illegal IEDs. Unconfirmed rumors speak of dangerous modifications to the basic hoverbike chassis which allow Jung Laden's vultures to employ extreme hit-and-run and gang raids, terrorizing all who oppose him.
While Jung Laden has somehow always managed to procure standard military arms for his followers, for many years, his followers lacked adequate training and were ridiculed by many on the battlefield. But few have realized that Jung Laden's holy warriors have been transformed into devastating squads of men and women who kill efficiently, and without mercy.
The leak of the standard army blueprints have allowed Jung Laden to manufacture his own copies of the venerable vehicles which form the backbone of many Terran task forces. These dangerous weapons at his command are a serious security concern, and we have attempted to deploy our own task forces against him in order to contain Jung Laden's forces. But somehow, Jung Laden's Armored Legions consistently outmaneuver, outflank, and roll over the forces of those who oppose him. We are advising that everyone within 100 kilometers of their last known location evacuate immediately.
Jung Laden uses seemingly stock dropships for rapid insertion and extraction of elite forces for his reign of terror. Witnesses say that he strikes without warning the areas which are most vulnerable, and decimates everything without mercy. Oftentimes defenseless civilians putting in a hard day's work at the mineral fields are set upon without warning, and by the time authorities arrive, much of the population has been wiped out.
On several occasions, Jung Laden has inflicted the ultimate atrocity - the use of nuclear weapons, taking the lives of those who didn't stand a chance. While authorities cannot definitively prove that Jung Laden was behind these monstrous attacks, the extreme radiation poisoning from the fallout from one such attack resulted in a massive number of genetic deformities, including anomalous left-handed commanders.
Q & A Q: Isn't the O.S.H.I. exaggerating the threat associated with Jung Laden in order to obtain more funding from the government? A: That's a preposterous accusation. The danger associated with Jung Laden can be clearly witnessed in his dominating, undefeated streak at sanctioned events at Gwangahli Beach, and sources say that Jung Laden goes even further when acting alone.
Q: How do we differentiate Jung Laden's followers from legitimate military soldiers? In many ways the look and act the same! A: Jung Laden's followers have a distinct ferocity and inhuman indifference to the lives of their fellow person. But the most distinctive attribute of Jung Laden's followers is their mantra:
"There are no false gods, there is only the Emperor, and Choi Yun Sung is his prophet."
Q: Can you confirm rumors that past actions by the Team Liquid administration led Jung Laden to become the terrorist he is today? A: Such accusations are without merit. Jung Laden is a terrorist because he hates our way of life. Any such associations that Team Liquid has had with him in the past, such as the Blizzard Sandlot tournament, could not possibly have had any influence on him deciding to become the terrorist that he is now today. Merely calling "Siz)FanTaSy", as he was known back then, "a mistake" was an insignificant incident and we dismiss any connections between that event and Jung Laden's decision to take up the life of the terrorist.
Q: Some fanatics have been predicting that Jung Laden's coming victory will bring about the end of the current age. Any comment? A: Are you seriously considering the mutterings of crazy "prophetic" fanatics who are stuck in the past? Korean eSports will last forever, and any rumors that Ongamenet or CJ are working to undermine Kespa are all baseless. We remain committed to preserving the sanctity of the Ongamenet Starleague and will fully support all the future Proleagues to come. Special thanks to Hyde for the graphics
On June 12 2012 20:22 Zona wrote: Q: How do we differentiate Jung Laden's followers from legitimate military soldiers? In many ways the look and act the same! A: Jung Laden's followers have a distinct ferocity and inhuman indifference to the lives of their fellow person.
Hey, good to see you being active again! (whoah, 40k...) Cool writeup, and beautiful presentation - though could you please center the youtube vids for aesthetics' sake?
venerable vehicles which form the backbone of many Terran task forces.
This tipped me off to the fake-ness of this article. Everyone knows that you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than Terran scum.
venerable vehicles which form the backbone of many Terran task forces.
This tipped me off to the fake-ness of this article. Everyone knows that you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than Terran scum.
Spoken like a true (12nexing) Protoss
Read the article again, because Pantaji + Hyde graphics never get old.
On June 12 2012 22:15 Funnytoss wrote: Wow, 40k. Congratulations, and thanks for the awesome hype post! Here's to a Fantasy vs Jangbi rematch in the Finals! (hoping)
damn awesome post zona I really can't see anyone beating Fantasy in his current form. He seems to be the only S-class player left who has managed to keep his form refined during the transition to sc2. I'm really hoping he makes it to the finals, regardless of who he plays, because he will make an epic finals
HOLY CRAP, this was the most amazing post I've seen in a long time O.O, I wish I was this good, I'm learning from this right now so I can better my TL OP's. This should be seen as the way of posting funny posts about players, jokes + pics + fake Q&A is so, so pro.
Man. I saw the title in the morning at thought it was about General Health apedemic posted accidently on BW forum. But oh boy was I wrong. Fantastic article!!!
Congratulations on 40k posts Zona!! And of course you're already over 100 posts past that lol, never change Zona. And Hyde never disappoints with his graphics. XD
I loved every single bit of the post, Jung Laden indeed strikes terror into every players' heart. I will miss watching his terrorbikes, I mean vultures terrorizing worker lines in BW.
Then it'd be The Ongamenet Safety and Health Institution Tribunal. O.S.H.I.T
Believe me, I tried. But I couldn't find any expansion for the acronym that sounded right in my head, and I figured what I had would adequately get across the idea.
On June 13 2012 07:49 docvoc wrote: I'm learning from this right now so I can better my TL OP's.
I guess I should edit and fix the typos, then, at the very least.
On June 13 2012 11:21 Ideas wrote: nice to see the energy and efforts of bisu fanboys put towards a good player for a change
Except that you're mischaracterizing things - I am, and always have been, first and foremost a Fantasy fan. You might notice that even in my SKT hype I wrote awhile ago I put Fantasy first.
seriously epic thread, im surprised to know that i am the same height as Fantasy but since hes 20lb less he looks so much taller being so damn thin. prolly from all those years at desert storm terrorizing nerds
this post is a pretty tasteless metaphor (bw progamer is bin laden), seeing that the real bin laden is thought of as the leader of a group who caused thousands of innocent Americans to die.
the message could have been delivered better, but i feel the sc love.
On July 18 2012 10:19 LarJarsE wrote: this post is a pretty tasteless metaphor (bw progamer is bin laden), seeing that the real bin laden is thought of as the leader of a group who caused thousands of innocent Americans to die.
the message could have been delivered better, but i feel the sc love.
don't be a party popper. I hear what you saying, but common, it's not like we supporting Bin Laden or something, we just having fun.
On July 18 2012 12:18 BreakfastBurrito wrote: this is one of the most epic and well written posts i've ever read, i laughed for a long time How does one acquire 40,000 posts?
Probably live reporting over a period of many years. 1 live report thread = 50+ posts easy
EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/RU5fZ.png)
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