Dwarf Fortress Tales: The Exiles (Part 1)

Drat! The wagon got stuck today as we passed through The Swamp of Dissolving. As I went to help pull it out I caught a gimps of the equipment, more specifically the lack thereof, inside. It finally dawned on me. My companions weren’t elves or nobles they were something much worse, bootlickers. I’d heard about a group of courtiers of the king's court who made some ill-advised remarks within earshot of the king and as a result had been ordered to face the Hammerer in single combat, but I didn’t realize this worthless group drivel was them... Urist save me now. Stuck in a swamp on the edge of the world in the freezing snow with a bunch of worthless bootlickers... Well, at least I have my crossbow.

Well I surveyed the surrounding area today. Here’s a quick sketch of what it looks like.


These are our immediate surroundings. Seems just as good as every other expanse of snow to start building on.


I even took the time to interview each party member to see if they had any useful skills. I took notes below:
Vucar Siknugrigoth

Novice Leader
Adequate Crossbowman
Adequate Archer
Proficient Ambusher

Stakud Muzishadil
Proficient Liar
Proficient Comedian

Kivish Bokbonathel
Proficient Liar
Proficient Flatterer

Zuglar Kikrostmes
Proficient Liar
Proficient Persuader

Ushrir Vathezmedtob
Proficient Liar
Profcient Consoler

Momuz Ritzas
Proficient Liar
Proficient Record Keeper

Lolor Amkollikot
Proficient Liar
Proficient Organizer


As you can see they’re all worthless.

Further, because we left in such a hurry and traveled for so long, all we have is what I had the foresight to grab before I left and what I could scrounge up last night.

Yak Leather Armor
Yak Leather Cloak
Yak Leather Hood
Yak Leather Glove
Yak Leather Cap
Yak Leather High Boot
Yak Leather Trousers
Turtle x 4
My crossbow and armor

I instructed the others to gather some plants; they were more willing to listen the second time I asked when I had my crossbow trained on them. I’m deconstructing the wagon and plan to make a wood axe from it. I’m hoping to have a basic industry and some food and booze stockpiled by seasons end and a palisade by the end of the year. If we survive long enough, which I fully intend to do, maybe we can get a pick somewhere and get out of this blinding sun.

I’ve noticed a bee hive just outside our walls. I instructed one of these worthless brown-nosers to figure out how to capture them so we can make some mead and he agreed - before I threatened him. These guys might turn out to not be all bad after a few years out here in the middle of no where they might even become proficient at something useful.

Summer has arrived! Or at least it would have in the capital. Here, the ground is still covered in snow. I'm starting to doubt we will ever see the grass again.

I’ve included a brief sketch of our outpost. Its surrounded on three sides by a palisade and protected on the fourth by a what seems to be a deep canyon created by a now perpetually frozen stream. Hopefully its deep enough to keep us safe. We need mechanisms to be able to raise the bridge so hopefully nothing attacks us anytime before we find some of those.


Here's a quick transcription of our food supplies. We’re doing better than we were three months ago, but I’m still worried. Gathering plants doesn’t seem like a sustainable long term strategy.

A honey bee stung one of our Yaks today and was killed. I’ve designated the Yaks for slaughter to prevent any further incidents and hopefully boost our food supplies a bit so we don't starve.

Three “migrants” arrived today. I have no idea why they would want to come here or what they’ve do to make their migration necessary but I will tentatively welcome them. Maybe they will be less worthless than the six that came with me.

*** ***

Well, two are pretty worthless (a fish cleaner and a gem cutter). I’ve assigned them to brew, cook, and tend the bees so my other workers can do what they are good at (gather plants). Two of them are liars to some degree or another though so I know they’ll fit right in.

The snow never melted and now we’re moving on to Autumn. I’ve included another sketch of the fort. As you can see we’ve installed some fortifications along the canyon edge and are beginning to expand to a second level. We have a functional hunting/butcher/tanning industry/cooking as well as a plant gathering/brewing industry. There aren’t many animals around to hunt but in the mean time we’ve been slaughtering pack animals. We’re having trouble getting the bees to stop buzzing off but we will keep working on it. I could desperately use some mead. I can’t wait until we get a pick. Then we can finally start digging and maybe construct a way to raise our bridge so we aren’t so vulnerable to attack. That reminds me, we need a trade depot. Just in case some traders somehow get lost and stumble upon us up here in the middle of no where.


I’m planning on installing a full time record keeper once the second floor is completed so we can have a better idea of how close to starving we really are. Until then I will just cross my fingers.

Migrants have arrived! Seven of them this time for some unknown reason. We just ran out of food and booze though so hopefully we can rectify that before there’s too much fun going on. Of the dwarves only two are useful right now, a carpenter and a wood cutter. Guess we need another wood axe to cut down trees (don’t ask me how that even works) so we can create our great wood sky scraper. I wish we had a pick...

Some traders arrive. I want to lock the gate tell them to leave. I’m afraid they will report our wear-abouts to the king and we’ll all be brought to justice. The rest of the founders assure me that no one knows where we went and these traders must have stumbled across us by mistake. I hope they’re right.

*** ***

The traders have a pick - which we desperately need. If we can start mining and maybe pick up some seeds we can start living, working, and farming underground away from this wretched snow.

*** ***

Well, we were able to get a pick and some plump helmets which we can process for spawn to start our farms but we had to trade a bunch of food and our own metal axe for it all. Hopefully this is a good investment. If nothing else it will get us underground and allow us to actually lift our bridge so we don’t die to any angry elk.

Now that we have a pick and I’ve assigned one of our mostly useless dwarves to be a miner I’m starting to plan out the underground levels of our fort. My goal is to have specialized laborers assigned to burrows encompassing their own bedroom and dining room as well as their workshops and small food, drink, materials, and goods stockpiles. For example, the carpenter will be restricted to his quarters and work shop with food, drink, and wood and haulers will fetch him more food, drink, and wood and remove the furniture he makes. Hopefully this works, if not it could be alot of fun.

My digging project was halted by damp stone. I’m tempted to just order its continuation anyway. All the water here is frozen anyway and if we were to hit an aquifer we’re only flooding a worthless wood fort anyway.

There was an aquifer. Luckily the fort hasn’t flooded yet. Cross your fingers. At least we have two floors to work with for now.

The traders told me they’re willing to pay almost 200% for plants, meat, and shields. Apparently they have some sick desire to leave us starving and defenseless, but, considering the fact we live on a vast expanse of frozen nothing, next year I’ll probably end up starving and defenceless. Who knows, maybe they’ll take an arm and a leg too...

I spent the rest of the year trying to fix our flooding problem. I ended up constructing a series of pumps in order to pump the water out of the fortress into the river bed. It worked great! Until the water started freezing the second it got into the riverbed preventing any more water from being pumped out.


I’ve given up on digging out under this fort. Since the trade depot is there and we have a wooden palisade up I’m going to keep using it for the time being but I’ve ordered the digging out of another fortress in the side of the riverbed. Hopefully the river never thaws...


Here are some artistic renditions of the fortress as it stands after one year. Unfortunately the second level isn’t done yet. Maybe next year.