GF Problems - Page 6

On July 20 2009 13:35 Arnic wrote:
People tend to respond better when they can really understand how you feel and why as well as how their actions would affect you. You can try to ask her how she would feel if the situation were reversed, most people will automatically say "Oh, I'd be OK with that". Fair enough, some people would be alright with it but then again, some will reply without actually putting themselves into that situation so they can empathize with how you're feeling.

Say to her: "So, we go out for a night with our friends and there's a girl who flirts with me in front of you. She completely ignores the fact that we're together and she keeps doing it even though I'm not encouraging her in any way. How would you feel if I said I was going to be spending an evening alone with that girl?"

If she thinks about it and still says she'd be genuinely OK with you doing that and you believe her, accept it. Do not try and set that situation up to test her, that's a manipulative and stupid idea which is likely to backfire and create a shitload of unwanted drama.

This kind of thing is easy to blow out of proportion, especially when you're worried, you don't know how to react or what to say and it's making you think emotionally rather than logically. There is a tendancy to think along dramatic lines when relationships reach these types of hurdles ie: "If she doesn't agree with me on this, fuck her, it's over".
No matter who you date, you'll never be able to be with them at all times, making sure that everything they do works out well or that everyone they hang out with treats them in a way you're happy with. Trust is an absolute requirement in a decent relationship and if you genuinely trust your girlfriend not to cheat on you, as you've said you do, then stop worrying, let her off your mental leash and let her do the things she wants to do.

As BalliSLife said, they're going to be in a public place and it's a social thing. It's not like they're going to be totally alone with no one around, you could always ask to meet her afterwards, maybe go to get food or something.

At the end of the day, if you really want to make a stand over this, it's up to you but consider the possible consequences. If you try talking to her and she continually fails to understand your concerns or to listen to you reasonably, if you are unable to find a compromise or if you have doubts about her trustworthiness then you'll need to make some kind of decision about how or if you'll continue things with her but keep in mind that this situation is a common one and you may run into it again.

I didn't mean for this to be so longwinded, I hope it makes sense and that you manage to get things sorted out with your girlfriend in a way which makes you happy.

On July 20 2009 13:58 Arnic wrote:
kOre - Glad to hear it, she sounds like a keeper in that case. Hope it all works out for you.

beetlelisk - Twice as long as half it's length.

See? Arnic you are backing up my idea without even reading it