Yeah, an unbiased version is more like:

Guy wants to friends. Does not want to be dating, does not want to break up.
Girl wants to date. Does not want to be friends, is willing to break up.

They have positive feelings towards each other. Are now currently friends.

disciple

9070 Posts

May 17 2009 01:21 GMT

#22

well lol, the blogs are really quite similar, ofc in both cases the guy must win

Archaic

United States4024 Posts

May 17 2009 01:24 GMT

#23

Oh, I misinterpreted the OP then... I thought the guy wanted to break up, but still remain friends. And the girl wanted either relationship or nothing.

Chef

10810 Posts

May 17 2009 01:27 GMT

#24

I think they're both idiots and are in an unhealthy relationship. The guy is smart because he wants out of it (but stupid because he wants to keep her around to taunt her) and the girl smart because if she's not going to be with him, she doesn't need anything to do with him (but stupid because she's an immature brat hooking up with random girls and probably doesn't know what she wants in the first place).

Obviously you know the people in your story... whether the person is you or not I won't guess. But basically you're taking the situation to seriously. The girl isn't inlove (she just desperately wants to be in a relationship) and the guy isn't willing to let a person go (which suggests he wants to keep her as a back-up more than anything). If they stay friends, they will get together again.

United States6173 Posts

May 17 2009 01:31 GMT

#25

This description sounds really lopsided.

You also have to keep in mind that most girls are absolutely insane.

igotmyown

United States4291 Posts

May 17 2009 01:41 GMT

#26

So selfish is not accommodating what the other person wants.
Guy wants: friend-like interactions with girl
Girl wants: a serious relationship, or not to be in a relationship (presumably so she can look elsewhere)
Girl accommodates guy by maintaining friend-like interactions with guy.
Guy accommodates girl by ... allowing her to date other people?

disciple

9070 Posts

May 17 2009 01:44 GMT

#27

this is getting like rocket science

Insane

United States4991 Posts

May 17 2009 02:24 GMT

#28

I don't see why it has to be selfish in either case? Speaking as someone who behaves like the girl (cut off all contact, block from MSN/don't answer phone/etc) I don't see anything wrong with that. If you are in love with someone and they don't want to be in a relationship with you, it's frankly the best way of dealing with it rather than constantly being that friend who's in love but lurking and feeling a knife twisting in your chest every time you see/hear about them being with someone else.

Edit: Oh fuck, CharlieMurphy blog, no wonder.

e.soul[gm]

Sierra Leone254 Posts

May 17 2009 02:33 GMT

#29

insane beat me too it. props.

onihunter

United States515 Posts

May 17 2009 02:52 GMT

#30

Tough question.

The guy could be seen as selfish b/c he's basically saying "I like you as a friend, so even though I don't want to date you anymore, I still want you around." He's essentially dictating how close their relationship should be, ignoring her feelings about this subject.

The girl is also being selfish, wanting the guy all to herself, etc. It's pretty obvious the way the OP is phrased.

Based on the way the OP is written, I agree with previous comments that the girl is probably gonna get more votes, but I'll have to go with it and vote for the girl.

ZeeTemplar

United States557 Posts

May 17 2009 03:18 GMT

#31

what the fuck?..elaborate more then i will vote.

ZeeTemplar

United States557 Posts

May 17 2009 03:21 GMT

#32

On May 17 2009 10:27 Chef wrote:
I think they're both idiots and are in an unhealthy relationship. The guy is smart because he wants out of it (but stupid because he wants to keep her around to taunt her) and the girl smart because if she's not going to be with him, she doesn't need anything to do with him (but stupid because she's an immature brat hooking up with random girls and probably doesn't know what she wants in the first place).

Obviously you know the people in your story... whether the person is you or not I won't guess. But basically you're taking the situation to seriously. The girl isn't inlove (she just desperately wants to be in a relationship) and the guy isn't willing to let a person go (which suggests he wants to keep her as a back-up more than anything). If they stay friends, they will get together again.

Was about what I was going say.

I wont vote.

a-game

Canada5099 Posts

May 17 2009 03:48 GMT

#33

are you the guy?

Shivaz

Canada1783 Posts

May 17 2009 03:49 GMT

#34

On May 17 2009 12:48 a-game wrote:
are you the guy?

Actually this would make alot of sense regarding the bias of the blog.

AzureEye

United States1360 Posts

May 17 2009 04:12 GMT

#35

The guy is more selfish man...

Basically when guys get into a relationship, we just think of her as "girlfriend" and "potential" wife (maybe)

When girls get into a relationship, its not just boyfriend, its highly likely guy whose gonna end up as husband

The guy just wants to end it as friends because he doesn't consider how much it will hurt for the girl to look at him as something she cannot (because she can't imagine him as someone unimportant to her)

I don't know. This poll is definately biased and for the people who voted girl as selfish, go experience a painful breakup and then come back to vote again

CubEdIn

Romania5359 Posts

May 17 2009 04:19 GMT

#36

Sorry Charlie, but I'll vote for Guy.

Why? Well, because I've been in that situation, and it is selfish. You want to break up with her but keep her as a friend (this way you'll have best of both worlds, and exactly what you want). How exactly is this fair for her? Now I'm still friends with some of the girls I was with, but if she feels she can't do it, then it's 100% her choice and you can't call her selfish at all. I personally could not stand to be friends with some of the girls I've been with and cared deeply for. How would she feel when the guy will make a new girlfriend? Come on!

Now the fact that the guy has been "allowing" her to do whatever she wants is part of the relationship. So it doesn't have much to do with the after-relationship status. Letting her hook up with girls (even though, you know, 2 girls, woohoo!!!) shows that that guy didn't care all that much, thus the break-up.

So yeah, I don't see how you could call the girl "selfish" for not wanting to suffer next to a guy she loves but can't have. Call me weird.

ZeeTemplar

United States557 Posts

May 17 2009 04:57 GMT

#37

On May 17 2009 13:19 CubEdIn wrote:
Sorry Charlie, but I'll vote for Guy.

Why? Well, because I've been in that situation, and it is selfish. You want to break up with her but keep her as a friend (this way you'll have best of both worlds, and exactly what you want). How exactly is this fair for her? Now I'm still friends with some of the girls I was with, but if she feels she can't do it, then it's 100% her choice and you can't call her selfish at all. I personally could not stand to be friends with some of the girls I've been with and cared deeply for. How would she feel when the guy will make a new girlfriend? Come on!

Now the fact that the guy has been "allowing" her to do whatever she wants is part of the relationship. So it doesn't have much to do with the after-relationship status. Letting her hook up with girls (even though, you know, 2 girls, woohoo!!!) shows that that guy didn't care all that much, thus the break-up.

So yeah, I don't see how you could call the girl "selfish" for not wanting to suffer next to a guy she loves but can't have. Call me weird.

I just realized this was charliemurphy haha. Man, how selfish are you? GG yo