EPTWhat is your favorite post on TL.net? - Page 3
| Blogs > {88}iNcontroL |
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inkblot
United States1250 Posts
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kpcrew
Korea (South)1071 Posts
i like this post because this 7 post guy made the same thread 3 times even though they were being closed (because a similar post was made 2 days ago). the only other post i could find was similarly lacking. | ||
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Frits
11782 Posts
First thing I did when I clicked this thread: "search page: M2" Fuck yeah that is without doubt still the best post ever, I will never forget that lmao. That HamerD one comes dangerously close though, fuck me I still laugh so hard at that. Also the rpf facebook thread, which doesn't really count as a post I guess. | ||
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ShaLLoW[baY]
Canada12499 Posts
On August 13 2007 11:44 Hippopotamus wrote: once again i dont really know WHY im responding to you, i think its b/c its people like YOU who really piss me off. People who spew information at people without having a CLUE what they are talking about... The main reason and arguement for not having niggers in the military is NOT that men are afraid of being robbed. Its actually much deeper and subtle than that. Its a moral thing, its a trust thing, its a unit cohesiveness thing. Military is VERY team oriented, and when you have an obvious nigger in the tent, or on the team, w/e. It makes the other guys feel uncomfortable, they think, hm i wonder if hes thinking of fried chicken, or i wonder if he is smart enough to throw the grenade instead of the pin. Then you get to go out to war, and fight to save his life? depend on him to save yours? niggers have always been ostracized by the majority of men (no counting the africans, they count for 3/5ths). We dont want them in our military, and since WE call the shots, not congress, since WE can say, tough luck, too bad so sad, then thats what we are gonna do. I have no problem with niggers, if they stay in the colored-only areas, but dont be bringing them into MY house, MY tent. Can you imagine walking into your tent to see 2 soldiers of different skin color? How fucked up you'd be in the head? how much it would affect the unit? I dont see how its possible that people can be so dumb, and yet still be able to formulate an opinion. I think you put like 4590 in a hat, and just pull one out. In response to the following idiocy: On August 12 2007 23:15 LumberJack wrote: once again i dont really know WHY im responding to you, i think its b/c its people like YOU who really piss me off. People who spew information at people without having a CLUE what they are talking about... The main reason and arguement for not having gays in the military is NOT that men are afraid of being sexually assaulted. Its actually much deeper and subtle than that. Its a moral thing, its a trust thing, its a unit cohesiveness thing. Military is VERY team oriented, and when you have an obvious 'fag' in the tent, or on the team, w/e. It makes the other guys feel uncomfortable, they think, hm i wonder if hes staring at me in the shower, or i wonder if he dreams of me sexually. Then you get to go out to war, and fight to save his life? depend on him to save yours? Gays have always been ostracized by the majority of men (no counting the greeks, they dont count). We dont want them in our military, and since WE call the shots, not congress, since WE can say, tough luck, too bad so sad, then thats what we are gonna do. I have no problem with fags, if they do what they do in the privacy of their own home, but dont be bringing it into MY house, MY tent. Can you imagine walking into your tent to see 2 soldiers fucking? How fucked up you'd be in the head? how much it would affect the unit? I dont see how its possible that people can be so dumb, and yet still be able to formulate an opinion. I think you put like 4590 in a hat, and just pull one out. | ||
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ShaLLoW[baY]
Canada12499 Posts
It's the fact that "blacks" were considered inferior YEARS ago. They were used as slaves, until thank fucking god Abraham Lincoln decided to Step up. People hated the Emancipation Proclamation, because they were losing their best "objects" When blacks finally became free, what happened? A person HURRIED to invent the HandGun for fast-paced control. Eventually the blacks were exiled and hated on, the term "mother-fuckers" comes from Blacks, as slaves were forced to "fuck" their mothers to breed. IMO it's quite fucking stupid, the origin of people were Black not white. Lots of respect go out to: Martin Luther King Jr.(The King) Malcolm fucking X (AMAZING ANTI-WHITE PERSON) Rosa Parks (GG This Woman Was Gosu) +The Black People leading the Revolution of their Arise. But basically, White People hated them, because they saw them as "machines" and "slave" and nothing more, because they were never proved as anything more. Raise a Kid today, say "hate that black kid" and he will. Raise a Kid and say nothing, his best friend will be black. FACTS ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE: They build muscle faster Can't SunBurn easy (field working) Stronger Stamina (natural) More "brute". ^--- The White's Took Advantage. One of my best friends is black :D by none other than the infamous LaStShAdOwWwW~~*~~ | ||
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Duke
United States1106 Posts
too bad i cant find it | ||
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Frits
11782 Posts
On March 12 2006 17:28 rpf289 wrote: I'm looking at getting a small pocket knife, or just a folder of some sort. Why do I want one? Well, first, I like knives, lighters, guns, weapons, etc., and so far I only have a couple boxcutters from work, a Zippo that I bought, and I bought a nice 6-inch fixed knife yesterday. I'm buying a folder for two reasons: 1.) Collecting, and 2.) self-defense. I almost got mugged one night walking to my car on campus, and well, if I'm gonna get mugged, the fucker is gonna bleed. Yeah, I have that mentality of where I refuse to go down without taking someone else down with me. Anyone got any ideas? I know very little about knives. On August 28 2008 05:12 SCC-Faust wrote: I am now in my senior year and I need a date to the prom. My parents made it very clear that they are going to make me go to the prom no matter what, because they did not and they highly regret it. So, this is serious business. I'm not getting off the hook by complaining like a stupid bitch. But here is my problem! No one wants to go with me that I find attractable. To be honest, the only people that actually consider going with me are the mentally handicapped retards or the black girl who gets mad because I won't hug her. And I'm not beautiful, I have some acne, and I'm just dopey. Not assertive, not sociable. Not the kind of guy girls would be thrilled to take to the dance. I talked with my school and it turns out that you can actually take outside people to the prom! Now if you live in Pennsylvania or want to take a ride to Pennsylvania around Reading I would love for someone to take me. My school administration applies some rules though: Cannot be over 21. Will be given a breathalyzer test upon entry of Prom. So if you want to take me, please don't get drunk. And don't be over 21. I'm really depending on a sweet guy to just make this night easy for me. Don't worry, I don't slow dance, and we don't have to have sex afterwords. The only problem we may encounter is being called homos and the like. PM me for more information but Prom is a while away, but I want to secure a date early. I'll take multiple applications and keep you guys updated to when the Prom will be (probably sometime next Year) and give you the location and such. Also these things still make me laugh so hard: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=19235 http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=3062 | ||
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Frits
11782 Posts
Sure this can be caused by lack of maturity and stupidness on my part, but still it was just so much power, I couldn't stop myself from having unreal macro and sick timing senses, It was too much for me to just throw away. A little piece from the hilarious lastshadow 'apology'. Yes this is him actually talking about his brood war skills. | ||
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Enrique
United States377 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + On November 08 2005 11:24 racebannon wrote: Hello internet, Today I come to you to regale you with a true story of both wonder and horror combined. Me and my loving girlfriend have been together for some time now, over a year if my calculations are correct, though they rarely are. While this relationship has been going on for quite a while, it was only until last night that we reached one of the most important levels in a relatiobship, one that signifies the love and understanding two people have for eachothers needs. Some of you may know what I am speaking of, but those that i must spell it out for, she let me put it in her butt. Now, I am something of an ass-man, I must confess. It ranks much higher on my checklist of superficiality, higher than breasts by far, and really, can a great ass even be compared to a great personality? You can't put it in a personality. Come on. This is a monumentous leap for us both. I have never impaled a woman through her rectum and she has never had manrod in her backdoor. I have heard every horror story there is of homebrew anal sex, and I know it is best left to the pros, I knew this going in. But believe you me, I have done as much research as the next man. After "asian," "anal" is my next stop on empornium. Now, my girlfriend is of asian descent, and like many she is rather small of figure. I am of European heritage, my parents being British, and I will even go out on a limb here and say it, I have an average sized penis. I could sit here and pretend I have a 47 inch monster twixt my legs like I'm sure all of you reading do, but I am pleased with my manhood, he has never let me down. And it still requires much foreplay and/or lubrication to get my meat stick into her beef flaps. Now, naturally, she has a small ass. It's no Brazilian bubble and I knew it would be a tight fit, so tight that even the micrometer added to the circumference by a condom could render it impossible to get in. Plus, we have been together so long and we've been tested, so I just didn't have any condoms. I should cheat more, I guess. Well, we got that little yellow ass greased sufficiently, and it was time to don the eyepatch and plunder away with my pegleg leading the charge. Now, a little aside - being of a European descent, or maybe because of the decline in the practice of circumcision in North America (i was born here in canada) I am uncut, and I love it. Sure, there is maintenance, but the benefits outweigh that by far, and you guys who are cut have my deepest sympathy. Back to the sleazy retelling of my story. The initial probing was a success, no signs of trouble, and so we plunged deeper. I could tell my little man was feeling claustraphobic in such a small area. It was like trying to shove him down a straw. Only pleasurable in ways a straw could never be (I imagine). We took our time, she claimed to be enjoying it, and lying or not I didn't care. I eventually ramped up the speed, if my cock was a lawnmower, I started at turtle but slowly and surely made my way to rabbit speed. It was there that something happened. I was maxing my anal apm, when something horrible happened. My frenulum snapped, like a twig in the wind. Like a taut bowstring, he just went down. The friction was too much I suppose. Now for those uninformed, the frenulum is what attaches the foreskin to the head of the penis on the underside. It's a really rare occurance for it to break but it happens, he's fine in normal sex, but he was not made for the butt, it seems. The result was pain, pain and blood. More blood than I imagined possible. I didn't stop, naturally. And honestly, the blood just made the going that much smoother. I climaxed, pushing past the pain like coach always told me to in high school gym class. Then she saw the mess I was making. She's not particularly good at math, but she can add blood + anus and know she doesn't like what it adds up to. She became hysterical, certain that I had somehow broke her ass, or speared through her intestine like my cock was a harpoon. She thought I had given her a penile colostomy. She started screaming, like women are wont to do when they start bleeding from a foreign orifice. Now, I'm still inside her, call it a second wind. I guess it was the screaming, I don't know. But thats when her bowels went. I can't tell you if it was on purpose or some sort of defense mechanism, but blood and shit mingled with only my cock trying to plug back the tumultuous flood. My cock is no levy, especially for blood and fecal matter, so I got out of there, and the sheets were forever ruined. So was my shot at ever having anal sex again. Atleast with her. And so, the moral of the story is, well, I don't really know. But know this: blood and shit are like the evil twin brothers of peanut butter and jelly. And they make a real mess. Fun fact: in order to find this post/thread, I just went to the search bar and typed the word "frenulum"! | ||
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arb
Noobville17920 Posts
On September 16 2008 09:34 Enrique wrote: This was one of the first things I remember reading on TL.net that really made me laugh out loud at my desk at work. Maybe it's because I was three years younger, or maybe it really was that funny, but in any case, I cracked up good. + Show Spoiler + On November 08 2005 11:24 racebannon wrote: Hello internet, Today I come to you to regale you with a true story of both wonder and horror combined. Me and my loving girlfriend have been together for some time now, over a year if my calculations are correct, though they rarely are. While this relationship has been going on for quite a while, it was only until last night that we reached one of the most important levels in a relatiobship, one that signifies the love and understanding two people have for eachothers needs. Some of you may know what I am speaking of, but those that i must spell it out for, she let me put it in her butt. Now, I am something of an ass-man, I must confess. It ranks much higher on my checklist of superficiality, higher than breasts by far, and really, can a great ass even be compared to a great personality? You can't put it in a personality. Come on. This is a monumentous leap for us both. I have never impaled a woman through her rectum and she has never had manrod in her backdoor. I have heard every horror story there is of homebrew anal sex, and I know it is best left to the pros, I knew this going in. But believe you me, I have done as much research as the next man. After "asian," "anal" is my next stop on empornium. Now, my girlfriend is of asian descent, and like many she is rather small of figure. I am of European heritage, my parents being British, and I will even go out on a limb here and say it, I have an average sized penis. I could sit here and pretend I have a 47 inch monster twixt my legs like I'm sure all of you reading do, but I am pleased with my manhood, he has never let me down. And it still requires much foreplay and/or lubrication to get my meat stick into her beef flaps. Now, naturally, she has a small ass. It's no Brazilian bubble and I knew it would be a tight fit, so tight that even the micrometer added to the circumference by a condom could render it impossible to get in. Plus, we have been together so long and we've been tested, so I just didn't have any condoms. I should cheat more, I guess. Well, we got that little yellow ass greased sufficiently, and it was time to don the eyepatch and plunder away with my pegleg leading the charge. Now, a little aside - being of a European descent, or maybe because of the decline in the practice of circumcision in North America (i was born here in canada) I am uncut, and I love it. Sure, there is maintenance, but the benefits outweigh that by far, and you guys who are cut have my deepest sympathy. Back to the sleazy retelling of my story. The initial probing was a success, no signs of trouble, and so we plunged deeper. I could tell my little man was feeling claustraphobic in such a small area. It was like trying to shove him down a straw. Only pleasurable in ways a straw could never be (I imagine). We took our time, she claimed to be enjoying it, and lying or not I didn't care. I eventually ramped up the speed, if my cock was a lawnmower, I started at turtle but slowly and surely made my way to rabbit speed. It was there that something happened. I was maxing my anal apm, when something horrible happened. My frenulum snapped, like a twig in the wind. Like a taut bowstring, he just went down. The friction was too much I suppose. Now for those uninformed, the frenulum is what attaches the foreskin to the head of the penis on the underside. It's a really rare occurance for it to break but it happens, he's fine in normal sex, but he was not made for the butt, it seems. The result was pain, pain and blood. More blood than I imagined possible. I didn't stop, naturally. And honestly, the blood just made the going that much smoother. I climaxed, pushing past the pain like coach always told me to in high school gym class. Then she saw the mess I was making. She's not particularly good at math, but she can add blood + anus and know she doesn't like what it adds up to. She became hysterical, certain that I had somehow broke her ass, or speared through her intestine like my cock was a harpoon. She thought I had given her a penile colostomy. She started screaming, like women are wont to do when they start bleeding from a foreign orifice. Now, I'm still inside her, call it a second wind. I guess it was the screaming, I don't know. But thats when her bowels went. I can't tell you if it was on purpose or some sort of defense mechanism, but blood and shit mingled with only my cock trying to plug back the tumultuous flood. My cock is no levy, especially for blood and fecal matter, so I got out of there, and the sheets were forever ruined. So was my shot at ever having anal sex again. Atleast with her. And so, the moral of the story is, well, I don't really know. But know this: blood and shit are like the evil twin brothers of peanut butter and jelly. And they make a real mess. Fun fact: in order to find this post/thread, I just went to the search bar and typed the word "frenulum"! LOLLOLOL | ||
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Frits
11782 Posts
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ATeddyBear
Canada2843 Posts
i thought i should give a try this story of mine, so you express your opinions and tell me what you would have done.? "i love my iPod, and what i love more is how i got it. first of all my parents are divorced, i live with my mom. I was going to a 2 day trip to just buy clothes, gifts and stuff out of the city... it was my mom, me and some friend of my mom that offered to take us there. Anyway, i had no fuckn clue that my mom and this guy were knowing each other to be more than friends... and this guy was buying me stuff like crazy, clothes, shoes, electronics, he bouth me an iPod ( hes got alot of money btw) i didnt understand till he told me that he and my mom were "meeting". I was SO FUCKING angry and pissed with my mom, because she didnt fuckin told me they were meeting each other, and they didnt tell me anything until like the end of the trip, and btw, the son of this guy is a bullie at school i almost fight to death with him once.. so now i was more than pissed... i talked and argued with my mom about what happened and i practially told her that it was the worst error of all her life, because i was moving out of the house, i cant accept the fact that my mother hid me something like that and sent me in a trip with them, and let him buy me stuff, like he was buying my soul. At the end, i thought about it and found theres 2 ways to manage this, the smart one and the proud man and said to myself ill play the smart one "NICE , HE BOUGHT ME ALOT OF THINGS, BUT HE DIDNT BOUGHT ME" HAHA, i kept all the things he bought me, and moved to live with my father, thats where i am now. if you are interested in this story, heres an extra: when i moved to my fathers house, i wanted MY PC to take it and be there. (my mother only lives now with my sister and they have 2 extra pcs) BUT MY MOM wanted to be so selfish and didnt let me take it ... omg that was the explosion, i told her to leave me fcking alone i dont want to know anything more of her. thx for reading. Manablue's reply is 5/5 On August 30 2005 12:48 ManaBlue wrote: Kid, your mom bore you, brought you up, fed you your entire life, gave you a middle class upbringing, and you are ready to swear her off because she's moving on after your dad? She has the right to do that. Further, if you were too oblivious to know that a random guy who went on a trip with your family and bought you gifts for no apparent reason was somehow interested in your mom, then you are just an idiot. Your story doesn't make sense and I can't understand how you were "screwed". Basically this is the truth, if you want to hear it... You're a spoiled little brat that likes to bounce off your parents and use their split as a means to play favourites and generally be an asshole. If you were my kid I'd throw your computer out the window, shove your IPOD up your ass and kick you out of the house as soon as you turned 18... But you know why I'd do that? I'm not your family. But your mother is, so she won't. You only get one mom and one dad. If you are willing to throw one of the few (and possibly only) unconditional relationships you will ever have in your life out the window because the person wants to move on with their life, you are a fool and you will regret it living the rest of your life without your mother. Grow up kid, stop bitching about nothing you spoiled IPOD owning, shit talking, sympathy starving son of a bitch. Fuck you. | ||
FakeSteve[TPR]
Valhalla18444 Posts
On September 16 2008 07:55 Mischy wrote: Just a quick word from Doug (HamerD) who is banned at the moment, he is sorry for being a douche and accepts the backlash he gets for his douchedom. He's quite annoyed that incontrol, who he previously liked, was being so harsh but understands it. He would still like to be a part of the community if theres anyone left who doesn't hate him. He is overzealous. He would be posting here but is banned. tell him to leave and never come back | ||
micronesia
United States24554 Posts
On September 16 2008 10:24 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote: tell him to leave and never come back Maybe you should leave too you poor role model. click here | ||
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FakeSteve[TPR]
Valhalla18444 Posts
hahaha | ||
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kpcrew
Korea (South)1071 Posts
manablue fucking owns | ||
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thoraxe
United States1449 Posts
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skyglow1
New Zealand3962 Posts
On December 19 2005 18:01 {88}iNcontroL wrote: Dad: "Oh hey hunny? Take a seat i made breakfeast for you and Henry Bigkawk." Daughter: "One sec dad let me get a pillow, Henry went balls deep last night and i wont be able to sit for a week!" *dad and henry high five* Henry: "Than i cummed in her face!" Daughter: "Yeah so hold on the syrup dad i think ive had enough sticky stuff in my face for one day!" Mom: "Did you wear the cow girl outfit with the ass less chaps?" Daughter: "No i went with the school girl no panties skirt look." Dad: "Henry lay off the anal next time ok? I scrubbed her bloody underwear for a few hours yesterday and that shit still wont come out!" *the group laughs and begins breakfeast* You guys are right. I see nothing wrong with this at all. This one had me in pain for quite a while the first time I read it. It has to be my favourite  | ||
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Jibba
United States22883 Posts
On September 16 2008 07:55 Mischy wrote: Just a quick word from Doug (HamerD) who is banned at the moment, he is sorry for being a douche and accepts the backlash he gets for his douchedom. He's quite annoyed that incontrol, who he previously liked, was being so harsh but understands it. He would still like to be a part of the community if theres anyone left who doesn't hate him. He is overzealous. He would be posting here but is banned. I <3 everybody, including him | ||
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HeavOnEarth
United States7087 Posts
On September 16 2008 10:09 ATeddyBear wrote: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?currentpage=1&topic_id=31085 Manablue's reply is 5/5 also you can't forget the reply to manablue's post FROM OP + Show Spoiler + Ok man look, im not pissed because my mom didnt tell me , im pissed because she fucking brought me to a unconfortable fucking trip with him and puted him on my face, she should have told me before, then i decide to go or not, hmm damn im tired of making this so ill tell yo the truth Hahahahahahahaha i went to school and im in recess, thats why i havent reply to this, well, ill tell you mannablue and all you guys, ill change my nickname to imakepeoplemakemehaveagoodlaugh, haha beleive it or not i created all this scenario since the begining omfg i am laughing so hard, you all bought my words. 99xROFLCOPTERS. anyways, you can still have fun posting stuff , i still will enjoy even though you know it was a lie. ok enough fun im going to class now, im supossed to bring some magazines today for a class and i didnt, so ill run like shit to a nearby store and buy them, wish me luck , note: i ended my post with a comma, dont get angry veg, i like you, + Show Spoiler [GG] + NewbSaibot : Your last post was the fakest thing I saw in a while. Exactly, saw right through his desperate attempt to make us look like the dumbasses. Face it, mana's statments rang a little too close to home and now you cant stand yourself. Dont try and bring us down to your level. | ||
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